Hello, I'm writing this for a friend of mine who's grandson is 20 months old. He's very sweet natured but recently he has starting picking up toys and throwing them at other people, adults and children. His mother has been working in a daycare and bringing him with her but they have told her that if she can't get this behavior under control she won't be able to bring him there because he is throwing the toys at the other children, hurting them and making them cry.
They don't know what to do to make him stop. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you all so much!! My friend was so excited to read all of your replies about her grandson throwing toys at people. They've gathered all the information and have become consistant in letting him know that toys are not to be thrown and then they take the toy from him.
Thank you all again, this is a really great group!!
We took the toy away, and put it up on the mantle where he could see it. It stayed there the rest of the day. He got them back the next day. When its their favorite toy, it stops the behavior pretty quick.
At my school we try not to work in the same room with our own child. We will see them at recess and do visit them during the day.
When they throw things we have them help pick it up and put it away. If they throw again, it is a time out.
Hi, I have a 22 month old and when she throws a toy, we say 'oh, too bad. If you throw a toy you can't play with it." We take put it away for the rest of the day. It seems to work well. Often if she throws a toy and we don't move quickly, she'll look at us and say 'no throw toys'. :) As far as others getting hit with them, we haven't had this, but we handle her hitting directly by having saying 'oh too bad... (person's name) doesn't play with little girls(boys) who hit' (in your child's case you'd say 'who throw toys at them') If she hits, me, I turn around with my back to her immediately. You can suggest those who get hit do the same thing. After about 15-30 seconds, her voice gets very sweet and she's changing the subject. :) That one has worked wonderfully - her hitting is very rare. Good luck.
My daughter went through this phase. We tried timeout and a firm "no". However, the only thing that really seemed to work was actually taking the toy away that she is throwing. She got really upset when we did that. Also, we would make positive comments to her when she was playing with her toys, i.e. "You are playing with your toys so nicely" and give a bunch of hugs and kisses. Basically, just shower her with attention when she was doing the behavior that we wanted. Then if she would forget and throw a toy, then we would say "no throwing" and if she stopped start clapping and making a big deal about her playing with toys without throwing. That seemed to really work. She does not throw toys anymore; and if she forgets we reinforce. For example, we were visiting somewhere and a boy was throwing toys. Well, she saw that and started doing it as well. I asked her to stop and she did. That is what really worked for us. I read somewhere that we tend to pay attention to the negative behavior more than the positive. Unfortunately, it causes kids to act more negatively because that is when they are getting most of the attention. We reversed this behavior and we saw an immediate change. Good luck!!
My 3 year old throws toys, not at people but they do have a tendency to get hit in the cross fire. What works for us and is telling him no and taking away the toy we explain to him that he is going to break all his toys and we are not getting him anymore. It seems to work I know big differnce between 3 and 20 months but he needs to go into time out and talked to that it is not ok to hurt people. He will grow out of it but they see it as fun for them. Its kind of like biting and any other behavior issues it takes time and discipline. I hope the advice you get helps your friend.
Some children this age you can explain to, and repeat each time they look like they are throwing something, NOT to do it, otherwise, I think they should try a swat, or spat their hand every time they do it and say to them this hurts people don't do that. And say that everytime they throw. I don't know why people are so afraid of a swat , that is a long way from mistreating a child , just to try and teach them proper behavior.
Sounds like he does not like her working and paying attention to the other children. Jealousy hits big at this age. Has she tried time outs with him yet?
I am not too sure how to handle this one as my kids never went to that extreme...mine like to scream their heads off and sulk. If they did throw a toy, it was taken away from them for at least a day.
Praying for resolution of this issue.
J.
Well if they bring him to her everytime he throws a toy then he has learned how to get to see mom just throw a toy. They are going to have to recondition him he needs to become the teachers best friend where he never leaves her side during playtime so that she can help redirect him when hes about to throw the toy. They need to catch him when hes doing something good and give him attention for that. Mainly the teacher needs to handle it and if she can't then maybe thats not the best teacher for the child.
