20 Months Old Still Waking at Night

Hi B.. I hope I have some good advice for you.

First off you say you have tried many things. Here lies the problem I think. You need to pick ONE way and stick with it. So if it works, and 2 weeks later he reverts back to waking in the night, use the SAME method to get him back to sleep.

When he wakes and says things like - up - say, sorry, it is time to lay down now - do not pick him up. Rub his back, talk to him softly, leave the room. He WILL cry, so go back in and say it is time for sleep, mommy loves you, you are a very good boy, I will check in on you in a few minutes.

Go back in a few minutes later as promised, and repeat. He will eventually fall asleep. It may take 2 hours the first night you do it, so be prepared and do NOT go back to your old ways of sleeping with him if you want that behavior to change. You can even go in a few times and then say - mommy is going to sleep, love you, see you in the morning, and then leave til morning.

If he says mommy's bed - say mommy's bed is for mommy, this is your bed, time to lay down and go back to sleep.

If he wants you to rock him, say - lay down I will rub your back for a minute and then I need to go to sleep.

When he wakes at 4am, let him fuss. If he gets hysterical (I for one cannot let my LO be hysterical), go to him, comfort him, say it is not time to get up yet, and leave. Again, you may have to walk in and walk out several times - maybe even until it is time to get up.

Give him a blanky, a stuffed animal, and let him fuss for a bit.

Once you get this squared away you can work on getting him to sleep in later. I am not sure what time he goes to bed, or how his naps are going, so it is hard to give advice here, but most toddlers at 20 mos sleep 10-12 hours a night, and nap 90 min - 2.5 hrs - a wide range I know, but hopefully that gives you a base to work with.

Do you use room darkening shades to keep the light out? The sun rises very early in the summer months. Or use a fan to drown out the noise of the birds chirping at 5am?! Try both of those to get him to sleep in later.

Remember - pick a method and stick to it for naps, bedtime, night wakings, early wakings - for all sleep issues, so if they arise again, and you use the same method, he will know what to expect.

Good luck!

Hi B.! Isn't it so frustrating at this stage, when you think you are finally done with the waking at night, and it starts all over again? I went through this too, right about the same age. I agree with Isabelle, in that you should stick with what works. Its the only way he will see consistently what you expect of him. The reason they do this at this age versus when they were babies, is the reaction they get from you, not an immediate need. What I did, was listen to my girlie fuss for a little bit before I even got up. Sometimes she would soothe herself back to sleep. If after about 2 min, it was clear that she was revving herself up, I would go down quietly to her room. Do not turn on any lights, do not pick him up, quietly tell him it's time to sleep and lay him down. He may fight you, but be firm in laying him down and patting his back. Sing a special song to calm him down (ours is Too-Ra-Loo-Ra). Get him calm, and leave. Whether he fusses immediately, or not for another hour, give him slightly longer before you go into him, and repeat the EXACT same thing. It took me a couple nights of very interrupted sleep, but she eventually realized that we were serious. They need to realize that nothing exciting is going on while they are asleep, night is just for sleeping. They are smart, they know how to play our emotions, not to mention our need for sleep. But I am confident that if you are consistent, you will both be "sleeping like babies". As far as sleeping later, work on that later. Room darkening shades are great,as is a fan or some sort of white noise. You could also try to push his bedtime back in 10 min increments, but I know how much we all cherish the time alone with hubby! Good Luck girl, let us know how you make out!

My 27 month old still doesn't sleep all night! Believe me I feel your pain. Out of all the kids in his playgroup only 2 of them sleep all night. I don't have any advice for you but know that you are not alone. All I can suggest to help him sleep later is maybe try cutting some time off of his nap.

Edited: I have to disagree w/ Melinda. My 2 year old has never slept at night and was a terrible napper from the start and has never never slept in my bed or I in his. My 7 year old is a wonderful sleeper and would sleep all day if you let him used to climb in with me during the middle of the night and once he got big was aloud to have a sleeping bag to bring in incase he got scared he has maybe used that sleeping bag twice. He stays in his room all night sound asleep. Makes me wish I had given my 2 year old that security and taken him in w/ us when he was small and maybe now sleep would be something he sees as peaceful and would sleep better.

Hi, B.!

This is normal but do-able. This worked for all 4 of my children. When they called to us in the night, or magically appeared next to our bed, we would tell them that they can come in with us when "God's light is on" (at dawn).

From that point, we would sometimes hear them wake up and mumble to themselves "oh, God's light isn't on yet". Sometimes they would lay quietly and wait, sometimes they would toddle off to the bathroom and then back to their room, and sometimes they would eventually just fall back to sleep. We always praised them when they arrived at our bedside saying, "OK, God's light is on - move over!"

It wasn't long before they'd sleep right through the night.

HTH!

Hi
You will have to suffer thru the tantrums if you want to break that - just keep walking him back to bed - it takes commitment and perseverance. I failed miserably and as a result my SIX year old STILL comes into our bed in the middle of the night.

Trust me.......learn from my mistake! My son will be doing this until he out grows it.....10? 12? EEEEKKK!!!!!!

However, my 2 year old daughter has NEVER been in my bed and she sleeps soundly every night. The non sleepers are created......

I put a cd player in the room. Sometimes classical music, sometimes a cd of their picking. I put the volume just loud enough that it can be heard in theor room, but not loud enough that it can be heard from outside their room.
Th Backyardigans or Dora have a ton of songs that play for awhile.