21 Month Toddler Refuses to Eat Meat and Vegetables.

Updated on September 16, 2009
M.C. asks from Seattle, WA
29 answers

I am very concern about my 21 month old son not eating any types of meat or vegetables. I've tried hiding small bits in rice or mashed- and mixed with pastas, but he can smell it and refuse to eat it. He ate chicken a few times, but has now given up completely.
He is probably the only kid who doesn't like peanut butter. I've offered all sorts of kid's favorites (mac and cheese, turkey sandwich, peanut butter and jelly, etc...) and even cut up veggies in fun shapes...HE WILL NOT EAT IT. He would try it and spit it out or he would just simply smell it and run off. The only thing he loves is milk, cereal, crackers, sometimes cheese, yogurt and fruits. Tofu, beans and nuts are not even an option. I was told to offer his meal to him each day and especially when he's hungry, normally repetition will eventually work, but my son is an exception to ALL the rules.He is on Poly-vi-sol, but I feel like it's not enough. I am under tremendous stress over this is so worry for my son's health.I hope someone can relate and can provide advice.Thnx

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So What Happened?

First of all, I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my questions and providing me with helpful advices, as well as sharing your stories with me. It truly helps in knowing that I am not alone and in the end this phase will pass. It has helped me tremedously in not beating myself over the situation and just focus on what my son likes to eat. Overall he does eat, just no meat and veggies. I have continue to offer him meat and veggies... even provided sweet sauces to dip in...NOT INTERESTED at all. I even added mashed up kidney beans in muffins and cookies, but he knows. One sniff and back on the plate it goes:) Now I just focus on what he loves to eat. I have added veggies/fruit juice to his liquid intake, turned to organic veggie chips and have tried organic jerky meats. He loves the jerky meats. Seeing that the organic jerky is still high on the sodium (but more than half less the normal brands), my husband bought me a dehydrator and will try making my own jerky and veggie chips. In doing this I intend to keep the salt level to a minimal, since I can control what I add to it. Lauren C. suggested it so I tried it. Thank you so much to everyone!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Don't get too stressed over this. My son was the same way and now he is nearing 3 years old (in November) and he has really started to eat more types of food. He used to just eat fruit, milk and crackers/bread/pasta. Just don't make it too much of a battle, it will get better. Good luck.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

Luckily my kids are pretty good vegetable eaters, but if I find one they don't like I can usually get them to eat it by roasting it. Squash, green beans, even broccoli. Coat with a little olive oil and salt, spread on a cookie sheet, and put in a piping hot oven (usually 450 degrees) until they get a little crisp. I've also heard of people mashing up vegetable in baked goods (beets work great,) then gradually increasing the amount until there is enough that they can taste it and get used to it.
Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

My kids were both super picky around this age (and still are, although my 3 1/2 year old is growing out of it a little).

Try some firm tofu, dice it into 1/2" cubes give it a good coating (fully covered in brown) of soy sauce and nutritional yeast and sautee it in some butter or olive oil. My kids both love this.

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

My daughter goes through phases like that too. She's almost three now.

Don't stress about it. You're doing everything right. What's really important is calcium intake for strong bones and teeth and just making sure he gets daily nutrients. You can always supplement with a gummy vite or calcium vite - they even make Omega 3 gummy vites (but I tried one and it was gross I thought it tasted fishy). I give my daughter gummy vites I get from Costco.

My daughter's faves are yogurt, cheese, fruit and dried fruit.

Have you tried beef jerky? I never thought to but on a road trip recently I gave my daughter a piece (she NEVER eats beef) and she gobbles it up!

She also likes green beans - I tried to get her to eat asparagus cutting it up like green beans - that was a NO GO. LOL

Apparently I was the dumb one there. Thinking she would think one food was another.

I think repetition definitely works.

I wouldn't stress though. Just keep eating it in front of him and eventually he'll get interested.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

My youngest was like this, he would suck the sauce off of toddler foods and spit out the small chunks of meat or vegetables. It was all about texture and the feel in his mouth. Persistence on your part and experimentation. Peanut butter is not an easy food to master. The tongue thrust and scraping it off the roof of your mouth is something to master. And some people like the taste of certain foods, other foods just don't appeal to them. To this day, he won't eat dark meat of chicken or turkey, prefers chicken strips or nuggets to chicken on the bone. Would not eat beef until he was close to 15 yrs old, no hamburgers, no roast, nada. Hotdogs, yes. Some fish, but it had to be white meat, like halibut. As a toddler, he liked mashed potatoes, no gravy, just butter and pepper. Loved yougurts, cottage cheese, cheese and ice cream. Hated milk, compromised on 1%, couldn't tolerate any higher fat content for how it felt. Kept offering different foods. He's 18, 6'5", a cross country and track runner, competitive swimmer. He challenged my cooking abilities and at times I felt like a short order cook with the 3 kids, but I remembered what it felt like to be forced to eat something I really detested and I wasn't going to do that to my kids. He's now the family chef, he loves to mix it up, try different recipes and grows our vegetables. It works out, believe me.

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M.J.

answers from Seattle on

both of my kids rarely if ever ate vegetables. In fact, the only one they would eat at that age were sweet potatoes. I did give my kids a ton of fruit. Their pediatrician's nurse said as long as there were getting fruit they'd be ok nutrionally. My kids also didn't like meat - still don't. Cheeese, milk and yogurt are a great source of protein. Hope this helps.

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

I so feel your pain, but now my son is five, and he eats broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, cucumbers, and he will try ANYTHING. Just keep giving to him, and even getting him to taste it is a good idea. A dietitian friend of mine, whose training was in teaching children to eat after they were fed through an IV, told me it took at least 14 tries for a child to know whether or not he truly liked a food.

I've always used the "It'll make your eyes shiny" ploy. Even my daughter (who is now almost nine) sometimes asks, after finishing a vegetable, "Do my eyes look shiny now?" That, for some reason, was a huge motivator for my son, but now he eats mushrooms and all sorts of saladish things without my even asking.

Just don't give up! Kids have a natural aversion to veggies because they are not sweet, but the more they try them, the more they will learn to like them. It just takes time.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Kids can sometimes get very particular because of food allergies (they may either crave or abhor the foods and food additives they are allergic to), or sensory issues, in which they react very strongly to textures, flavors, and smells. Allergies and sensitivities can become a problem rather suddenly, and people can also outgrow them at any time. A younger sister of mine couldn't eat certain foods when young, but was fine with them a few years later.

If your son shows strong reactions to other stimuli, like an avoidance of certain clothing or squirming or pawing at seams or rough textures, or if he really loves certain kinds of touch but not others, he might well have a mild sensory disorder. This is not uncommon, and you can usually find ways to deal with it once you know the issue.

For the time being, I wouldn't be too concerned about his diet. He's got the most essential nutrients coming in. In some cultures kids get primarily breastfed for up to two years, so milk's a pretty close approximation. If you don't get too urgent about his food choices, he'll probably occasionally sample something else, and after a few tries discover it's edible.

If you get tense about his eating, that frequently leads to problems. Especially as young children's needs for autonomy increase, food choices can become one of the few areas of their experience that they can control.

Good luck. Isn't parenting interesting?

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V.B.

answers from Portland on

My toddler has been the same way. I try not to stress about it... I've read that it's better to look at what they eat over the course of a few days, rather than just one day.

He's now 27 months, and at about 24 months, I finally figured out that he'll eat meatballs! (A good thing too, since we raise grass-fed beef, and we have a freezer full of it!) He also has been eating nuts since about 24 months (but not at 21 months).

You mentioned that your son doesn't like tofu - how did you prepare it? I cut it into small strips, and bake it with soy sauce and a little olive oil... that's been a big hit for a while. So is brown rice which is very nutritious. And I put ground flax seed in pancakes and other things that I bake. (You can usually find a big tub of organic flax seed at Costco.)

Also, have you tried any other nut butter (almond, etc?)

One other thing... do you feed the jar baby food? I found that was the one way I could get my son to eat peas... he loves them that way (I tried making them myself, but somehow he liked the organic ones in the jar better!)

If your son isn't low weight or getting sick a lot, I wouldn't worry too much. Best of luck!

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K.H.

answers from Portland on

Is he healthy otherwise? Is he taking a vitamin? Is he staying hydrated?

The fact is that kids do this. The are learning about food and experimenting. If you push the issue, it could turn into a control problem. He will end up struggling for control with you by not eatting with the purpose of upsetting you. You don't want that.
If he is healthy otherwise, then it really isn't a big deal to get upset over.

Just stock up on what he will eat and make sure he is eatting regularly. Keep offering new foods..at least one a day..even if he refuses to eat it. Our rule is that they take one bite of all the foods we put on their plate. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat it. BUT if you make this a rule, STICK TO IT! It is important to be consistant in everything with kids!
Other then that, don't make it a big struggle. Kids will eat when they are hungry and they will eat whatever you give them if they are hungry enough. It goes against his nature to starve himself.
Just keep offering it and eventually he will start eatting more..it may take a long time but it will happen.

You can absolutly try hiding things, but good luck! My kids knew no matter what tricks I pulled!

Oh one of their faves is healthy fries..I cut up a sweet potato/yam like fries and put them in a ziplock bag with honey and shake it til they are all well coated. Then spray cookie sheet with non-stick stuff or put a bit of oil on it and spread them out and bake on 400 degrees for as long as it takes to get them pretty soft in the middle. Usually 20mins in my oven, but it cooks fast.
Very yummy and very good for them!

Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

I assume moms have mentioned sensory integration disorder

I'll mention that I started not being able to stand the smell of cooking (and sometimes cooked) meat as a teenager, which I even at the time was pretty sure was because of either the chemicals the animals were fed, the stress hormones their systems were flooded with in the killing factories, or both ... and since conscientiously raised, organic-type meat has come on the market, I have gone back to eating meat and have had no problems. A woman I know is sensitive/allergic to like every artificial chemical known to man (she is significantly older than me and was one of the lead adopters in this latest round of organic food popularity, back in the early 80s), and she has learned to taste the problem chemicals ... so they can be tasted ...

dunno if you eat conventional or organic ...

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B.C.

answers from Seattle on

Can you cook pasta in chicken broth so that the thing you're serving appears to be pasta without sauce, but really has the nutrition of the broth soaked in? or cook spinach pasta so he thinks he's just eating colored pasta but is really getting vegetables too? Sprouted grain bread is a good way to add nutrition, and I like the idea of muffins - you can add any kind of pureed veggie - zucchini squash, pumpkin, carrot, etc. You can also add finely ground nuts to muffins without there being visible chunks that can be picked out.

Also you haven't mentioned fruit. Most kids like blueberries, melon, kiwi, applesauce or apple chunks (sliced thin if you think choking might be a problem).

Another thing to try is an eating buddy. Find a friend with a similarly aged child that eats a variety of foods and have them eat with your child. My kids always wanted foods more if they saw someone else eating "their" food.

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,

The key with my kids was to give them something to dunk it in. Crazy as it sounds, they will dunk almost anything in applesauce (chicken included). My 2 year old will eat salad so long as it has ranch or green beans with ketchup. :)

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S.S.

answers from Portland on

have you tried mixing up some smoothies? Maybe start with bland ones like: Milk, banana, stawberries (even add some whey protein if you want and/or a scoop of peanut butter). Then if he takes well to these, start adding some spinach, and other cooked veggies (if you dont have a juicer then i would cook them and then puree them in a food processor and then add them to the rest of the ingredients in the blender). My son goes through spurts where he doesnt want to eat but if I mix up a smoothie for him he just loves sipping on them and it makes me feel better that he is getting a good balance of nutrients.

Also, if he likes dairy, perhaps mixing cottage cheese with mashed beans or potatoes or avocado would help. My son loves this as well maybe yours would too.

My son doesn't refuse as much food as you have described however he does go through spurts where he just isnt interested in anything but his animal crackers. And I get stressed over it too so you are not alone in that. I wait it out and let him go for a few meals barely eating (i always give him a smoothie then though) and figure eventually he will get hungry enough to eat.

And I dont know what you think of this idea or if you have tried it but if my son is being really picky with his food, i will turn on a video while he is eating and he gets entranced in it and eventually starts eating (instead of throwing it on the floor). I am not an advocate of tv for kids but in this case it does work for us.

good luck Mama!

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V.J.

answers from Portland on

Here's your answer:
http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com/site/

If you use your imagination, you can hide veggies in almost anything!! I know we want our kids to learn to like this stuff, but if you are really concerned I wouldn't think twice about implementing this idea of hiding pureed veggies in muffins & other foods he likes. I know a mom who puts chopped up spinach in EVERYTHING & her family has no clue. Anyway, check out this website & see if it works for you! You can get the cookbook too! Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Richland on

Someone gave me this advice when my son would not eat any fruit or veggies. STOP giving him what he likes and he will eventually get hungry enough and eat what you are wanting him to. It seems kinda harsh but it totally worked! Just keep offering the good stuff maybe keep some on the table and then tell him no milk, cracker, cheese, etc and then tell him if he would like something the only option is the food on the table, he will eventually go for it, gauranteed, because he will be hungry! :) Good Luck!

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E.F.

answers from Seattle on

My son is 20 months old and exactly the same. No vegies, no meat and i have tried lots of stuff.
It is stressful trying to make sure he is getting the nutrients he needs. I have decided to take the approach that as long as he is growing and is healthy per the pediatrician well child appts that I will do my best with as little stress to me as possible.
That means: offer only what we eat(which he won't usually eat but I do purely to keep the options there) OR add something that is VERY easy to heat up in the microwave/stove as a separate augmentation to the fruit and yogurt.
There are those who would say to just keep offering a meal until he is hungry enough to eat it but I have not had luck on that front either and it would be too stressful for me to continue.

This is my son's usual variety of food:
Breakfast with WHOLE oats oatmeal plus yogurt and applesauce and I do sneak in some microwaved mashed butternut squash.
Lunch and snacks: Milk, fruit smoothies with spinach, yogurt and some juice, crackers, banana or other fruit.
Dinner: Whole wheat pasta (plain because he won't eat any sauces), fruit, yogurt, food offered from my plate while we eat (sometimes he'll surprise me and eat a few bites which I consider success).
Ployvisol vitamins everyday.

Oh..don't know if this will work but I had had some luck with roasted eggplant (garlic, salt, pepper, olive oil roasted till browned and soft) mashed up. And if I have any oher soft roasted vegies that I am also cooking, like squash, I sometimes try to mash them and sneak it in as well.

Hope this helps at least to know many are in the same boat! He seems totally healthy and I do still stress and get frustrated alot but try to reduce it where I can.

Ellie

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C.W.

answers from Seattle on

I know this must be tough. First, I would ask how long this has been going on for. Second, based on your answer, if a short time then it could be just a phase. Longer than a few months? You might want to get him an SI (Sensory Integration) assessment. He could have an oral sensory processing disorder. My son has this and goes to an occupational therapist. It has helped tremendously! Hang in there and hope this helps!

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S.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi,

Sorry eating is such a struggle for you guys. :( Can/will he eat eggs? If so, use that for a good protein dose when you can and encourage a variety of fruits to help him get the most nutrients he can from the fruits. Stick with whole grains since he likes cereal and such that will help up is his fiber, nutrient and protein at least a little. Stick with the yogurt too, lots of good stuff in there! You could try adding protein powder to his yogurt too. Plain Whey protein powder won't change the flavor of his yogurt as long as you don't put a full adult dose in. Have you tried refried beans? (I know the fat in them is not great but the taste might be better for him. And can get some that have way less fat but I don't know if the taste and/or smell would be different enough from just beans that way.) Lastly, have you tried any green drinks? If not, that might be worth a shot. There are several out on the market right now. You could get a small bottle of each one and see which one your son likes best. My son went through a phase where that was the only way to get anything green in him. He loved the Odwalla Superfood. But I really like Bolthouse Farms version, Green Goodness, I think.

Mostly, I think that no matter what your son does it is very important that you model good nutrition for him. Keep eating your veggies and don't stop putting a bite on his plate, no pressure but constantly there to show him that it is important to eat well.

Good Luck!
S.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Do not worry that he does not eat meat. It is the vegetables that are really critical. Find four that he will eat and serve those only to him. Try green leafy ones or odd ones you don't think of like yams.
Does he eat fish?
If he has type A blood he requires very little meat. If he has type B blood he only needs chicken and fish. If he has type O blood sometime in the near future he will turn into a complete carnivore as he body will demand it.
Children go through many phases as they grow.
Relax, eat with him and let him try whatever he wants that is on your plate. If he won't try anything let it be. In time he will expand his diet.

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K.C.

answers from Seattle on

My toddler is almost 2.5 years old and she has never been willing to eat meat or peanut butter. She will, however, eat breaded halibut or cod, and is a big fan of cooked kidney or black beans, especially if it has melted cheese on top.
Don't give up. Experts say sometimes it takes 18 exposures of a type of food, presented and prepared in different ways, before they are likely to even TRY it. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

I've had good luck getting my daughter to eat new things if I give her a bite of whatever off of my plate. If it's from hers (even if I have the same thing on mine) she won't try it.

Don't worry, if your son is growing normally don't stress. Just keep trying, like everyone else has suggested.

ps. I puree vegetables and such and put it in spaghetti sauce/soups with great success. (works on hubby to:-))

S.

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R.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,
I was a nanny for a little boy who refused a bottle, refused most all foods and wouldn't think of eating baby food. Everyday was a constant challenge, but he started trying things after a while and it worked out ok. My theory is when they're hungry they'll eat and honestly all kids go on a hunger strike. Buy him a sign and a t-shirt and let him go on strike!
If you are super concerned and the doctor hasn't said anything (he's in good percentiles and his vitamins/hydration are good) he's probably just being a normal kid.
With the little boy I watched we finally were able to compromise on bacon, eggs, toast, yogurt and cheese most of the time. He was little so it was difficult and he ate most everything through a strainer baggie but once he got older he started trying things and now he's a perfectly healthy and happy 6 year old boy that eats a lot of things! Another example: at the time his older brother (2 1/2) would only eat things that were balls and he wasn't really looking for a flavor, just the shape.
The other thing that I've found that works best is to eat with them instead of giving them their dinner and eating yours when you can enjoy it. Watching you eat, interacting with you while you're eating together can be the best thing to do. The most important thing to remember is to relax and have fun. Good Luck!

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S.B.

answers from Corvallis on

You might consider trying Pediasure. It is a nutritional drink that can be used at a meal replacement. I gave it to one of my sons because he wasnt a very good eater, and he has severe food allergies. he too would not eat any veggies. He WOULD eat hot dogs and steak, but didnt like chicken. I would buy him the Gerber Graduates hot dogs, he liked those.
I don't know what else to tell you. You can see if he likes the pediasure. The only thing that I would suggest about the pediasure though is to give it to him AFTER a meal. It will fill him up and he wont eat if you give it to him with food, or before food. My sons favorite was chocolate strawberry and Orange Cream. They smell horrible to me, but my kids loved them.

PS - he will grow out of it. I cannot tell you how surprised I was when my kids (seemingly overnight) decided that they wanted to eat veggies! YAY!

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

You are not alone. I have a 3 year old son who also won't eat meat and vegetables. Luckily he does eat peanut butter, most of the time. We have also had lots of luck with refried beans. He loves quesadillas with refried beans in them. Might give it a try. Two flour tortillas, I put beans on one side and sprinkle cheese on top. Close it up and heat one side in a frying pan, then flip it and cook until the cheese is melted. I cut it into about 15 little triangles and let him eat. He also really likes to dip baked tostitos in beans - toddlers are really into dipping. What about eggs? My son doesn't like them, but he will eat them if he can dip them in ketchup. I have also found that my son will eat just about anything (veggies) on pizza. I cut peppers up really small and sneak them into his pizza. Good luck.

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

Boy do i hear you. We are in the same place. All i can say it to keep trying. (Also, i can recommend putting pureed vegetables in pancakes or mac&cheese, which is something i've had luck with.)

If your doctor isn't concerned about your sons health, though, it seems like this just takes time. Ask the doctor at the next appt to be sure, but, i imagine your son is ok. Your stress, while i get it, probably isn't helping, and pushing at meal times probably isn't helping. Its really hard to let it go. I've been doing a lot of research on the issue, and this is what pretty much everything says.

Keep offering things, and see if you can find something that works. Remember that yogurt and cheese do have protein, and fruits do have vitamins, so its not all dire. You could try hummus, pizza (strangely, my daughter likes this, and we like that it has tomatoes), vegetables picked up raw (like peas), lunch meat, things baked into tasty muffins or cakes, hot dogs, dinosaur nuggets, etc.

One of my friends also suggested having my daughter eat with another kid her age who eats well. Doesn't seem to work for us, but maybe for you? Another friend suggested using an opposite psychology - make a huge show of enjoying something, but deliberately don't offer it to your kid. Put it within reach, and then see if your kid will take some while your back is turned.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My son will be 4 next week, and still will not eat vegis or meat. He eats lots of yogurt, cheese, and milk. I sneak eggs in by mixing them in his pancake batter. I use v8 slpash to help with the vegi issue. Do not stress, as long as he is growing normally. Just watch his iron levels and maybe add a multi vitamin with a small amount of iron if his levels run low as our sons have. Ask your doctor about which one would be right for your sons age. I use Flintstones complete, and just used half of one from the ages of 2 - 3.5.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Okay, stop stressing out, it only makes you stressed, and does nothing to help him. Whatever you feed him (and by now it should be the family dinner, if he doesn't eat it, so be it. No snacks until the next meal.

My son was a picky eater--all white diet--until he left for college, when he was about 6'. After college he was 6'2". Now for his wife he eats some vegetables. He also did very well in school so his diet did not affect his mental abilities.

I never worried about his diet. I put food on the table and if he didn't eat it, he didn't eat it. He ate a lot of yogurt--the plain kind, potatoes with the peal (washed) on, cereal, whole milk, some fruit and no vegetable, or pasta. He was that way from birth.

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J.R.

answers from Denver on

I'm in the same boat. Although, he will eat falafal balls which is nutritious. I get them at Costco and they are a quick fix if your other attempts fail. It can be frustrating when you make a meal and he refuses. Good luck.

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