2.4 Year Old Running Away & Hiding in Public Places

My son did this also. I taught him a game that we played in the market in empty isles called the "statue freeze" game. I would give him the ok to run ahead of me adn say freeze. I would then he would freeze in funny positions and stay that way until I said ok. This taught him that he waited for me to say it was ok to walk ahead or away and to freeze where ever or when ever I said the word. The taking off was on my terms not his. It really helped when he was running to the car to see Daddy as he was pulling into the driveway! He froze instantly! Good Luck

Hi J.,
Have you thought about not giving him the opportunity to run away? I have twin 2 1/2 year olds (boys no less) and they are always in the shopping cart. They are not allowed on the ground in stores yet. If we are somewhere else and walking I have both of their hands and they are not allowed to walk by themeslves unless they stop when asked to and stay as close as I want. I don't believ in giving them freedoms before they are ready for them (or I am):>)
Hope this helps,
L. D.

J.,

I am reading a great book..."1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan that provides some great techniques for positive discipline for children over the age of 2. Although my twins are not quite 2 yet...they understand what is happening when I start 'counting them'.

I belong to a twins club and everyone raves about this book and how well the techniques worked. Best of luck!!

~ L.

A natural consequence, not a punishment, would be for the child to either have to be on a tether or strapped into the stroller. I would explain to the child that when he decides to be a big boy and listen to mommy, then he can earn the privilege of walking next to mommy, but if he makes the choice to run, then he will have to immediately go back into the stroller or on the tether. I don't think that you should have to avoid going into public with him. It might be hard at first and he will probably tantrum, but stick to your guns and he will learn how to behave appropriately and safely in public.

HI J.,
We taught our daughter the "stop and go" game. We did this just during play times outside at the park or yard or whatever. It came in handy when she would run too far away form me or I couldn't run after her for some reason. Our son however, is not as good at listening and following instruction. With him we kept him in a shopping basket or stroller and took small steps with natural consequences when he wouldn't listen. Every kid wants to run wild and hide in clothing racks, or pull groceries off the shelves or run up and down the isles... we talk to our son before we let him get down. So for example he'd want to get out of the basket and walk and we would tell him that he could, but he needed to sty with us. If he ran away he had to get back in the cart. ( I also am always armed with little boxes of raisins and healthy snacks to keep him busy.) Sometimes we had to go sit in the car for a few minutes, and sometimes because of the way he acted at one store he couldn't go to the next one. He had to go home and stay with Dad while I went and finished my shopping.

Being consistent and talking about the natural consequences and following through really worked for us. You've probably already done this, but you might also try talking to you son about when hide and seek is ok and playing with him in those places only. Remind him that at home is where we play hide and seek but stores aren't places to play. Kids understand more than we think.

I also think that we have to consider when we take kids to the store. I make sure that the kids have run the "busys" out a little before I expect them to be angels in a store. Same goes for when they are tired or hungry. (Nothing drives me crazier than to see an exhausted child crying in a shopping cart at naptime while Mom casually browses the racks.) Understandably we can't always go at the optimum time but at think when those times happen we have to be understanding of how they are feeling too.

Good luck!!

This is a great opportunity to use positive discipline to set limits. As you know, it is fine to have consequences within the framework of positive discipline. The next time you are going to a public place, have a short talk with your son. Tell him that it is important for him to stay close by where you can see him, that it is your job to keep him safe, and that you know he can do this. However, add that you have noticed that it has been difficult for him to do this lately, so today you are going to bring the stroller (I'm guessing he doesn't like to be confined or you probably wouldn't be experiencing these woes?)--if he can't stay near you, you will help him, by putting him in the stroller. Emphasize the positive--you know he can do it, etc. Then if he runs away, calmly but firmly pick him up and put him in his stroller. I know this may be no small task, but just do it and stay as free of emotion as you can. Again, relay that you are helping him since he did not do as you asked. Also, be sure to give him plenty of opportunities to play hide and seek at home. When you play, be explicit that this is a game that's safe to play at home, but we can't play at the store, etc.

My 2 1/2 year old (boy) does the same thing. I take a few different approches. I tell him what is expected of him before we go anywhere and what the consequences will be, and mean it. If you tell him that you'll leave if he runs away, you must be prepared to do that. I usually tell my son that he will get a time out and I really don't care where I am or who's there. After all, it's my son's and my wellbeing and it doesn't concern anyone else. What they think is really thier problem, not mine. I also use a leash, espeacially on walks, since I have my infant in a sling and cannot chase a two year old. Do not lecture him. Give him simple instructions and what the consequences will be if he disobeys those instructions. And always, always mean what you say and take the action that you've set forth.

I had the same problem, but it was even worse -- my daughter would run out the door and down the street when I was changing her brother! Fortunately, she outgrew it.

What worked for us in stores was we gave her a choice -- if you want to be able to walk around with me in a store, you have to stand next to me. If you do not, you will have to hold my hand or be in a stroller. She hated it, so she learned to stand next to me. Every time she would walk away, I would tell her, "you've lost your freedom" and make her hold my hand for the next 10 minutes. It only took a couple of times before she decided it was more fun to be able to stand on her own.

S.

I am a behavior consultant and have worked with many children who bolt in the community. What works well: positive reinforcement. Bring a timer with you and some little "treats". I suggest small edible treats like goldfish crackers, jelly beans, mini M&Ms, etc. Set the timer for a short amount of time (1 minute). Tell your son to stay with you until the timer beeps and then he can get a treat. Start with very short amount of times and increase as he is successful (once he gets a cracker at 1 minute, increase to 90 seconds). Eventually, you will be able to set the timer for the entire time you are in the store and he will stay with you for 1 small treat. A key to this is not allowing your son to have the treat you decide is the most desired, except when in the community working on this. Otherwise, it will lose its value to him. If he bolts before the timer beeps, then when the timer beeps he will come to you to get a treat and you explain he left you so he does not get it this time but he can try again. You then reset the timer and do it again. The entire time you are at the store, the timer should be on. At first, it may go off 20 times in a shopping trip, but it gets easier pretty quick. When it beeps, he either gets a treat for staying with you or does not get one because he ran off. Be sure when the timer goes off to remind him what he needs to do to get the treat. For example, say "I like the way you stayed right next to me. Here is an M&M." To replace inappropriate behavior, you have to treat the appropriate one. I have done this with six 2 year olds, including my own, and it worked. He just needs to be motivated to earn the treats you bring and know what is expected of him. Let me know if you have any questions :) Good luck!!!

Hi, J.;
I know how this can strike fear in the heart of a mom. I had two that did this, and one was REALLY good at it. I would put him in the cart (which made him really wish he could get out) and let him walk along side of it with a hand on the side of it if he had been able to control himself. If he did it again, back in the cart. Also, tie a.....yes, a "leash" from him to you or the cart, or his dad. This I would reserve for "have-to" situations, where you are in a huge crowd and need peace of mind. Don't be embarrassed. I think most onlookers are not saying to themselves, "Barbarians" they are thinking, "I wish I would have done that." I just explained to my kids that I SO DO NOT want to lose them. They learned quickly about holding on to the cart, and enjoyed being valued so highly. I once lost my daughter for 2 1/2 hours. Not easy, and I will never forget it. She is 14 now! I hope these ideas help. J.

Hi J.,
Some great advice from others. My middle child, a son, did the same thing. He would get in the middle of the clothing rack (this happened during the holiday season when gowns hit the floor) and hide, it took but a nano-second for it to happen. When I would call his name he would not answer right away. Ugh! the feeling of panic, I remember well. I am happy to say he is a healthy 15 yr.-old today and we survived. Their attention span can be so fleeting. This was never an issue with my first born, also a son. Anyway, I applaud you with using positive discipline. Even today I try and compromise with my kids when it comes to going places. They often accompany us to events not of their choosing and in turn we do something of interest to them. It is a valuable lesson in give and take and mutual respect. When out with my son, if the rules we discussed were followed, our outings would include something he enjoyed. Of course this wasn't a 100% success, sometimes the timing just wasn't right and we would go home. The good news is as they get older it becomes more manageable. Also, when in a safe enviroment, I role played with him and hid myself so he might understand better what it felt like for me when I couldn't see/find him. He was definitely my "Houdini" child. Hang-in-there. You sound like an awesome Mom!

It's great that you want your son to understand that it scares you and it's not safe to run away, however, at his age, he will not understand those abstract concepts. He also has no self-control yet. Children at this stage need concrete directions and as parents, we need to give age appropriate guidelines. We sometimes think our children are small adults and we expect them to reason as we do, but they can't. They are children and learning all about their world which includes learning about boundaries that are for their good.

You don't need to punish to teach, but you can express firm expectations and provide consequences that help your child to take you seriously. Remember, you're the parent! Don't give your authority away to a 2 year old.

Prepare him before your shopping trip that he needs to stay close to you or hold your hand. Our grandson, 21 months, did not like holding our hands in stores or parking lots, but we told him that he needed to, otherwise we would carry him or he goes in the stroller. We give him limited freedom. Freedom is a privilege, not a right at his age. He didn't like it at first, but accepted it when we didn't give in to his complaints or get flustered. We usually put him in a stroller and have snacks ready if we want to have a longer shopping trip. Hope this helps. Grandma S.

Hi,

I know a bit about this. I have twin boys and when they were about your son's age, they would do the same thing, but run in two different directions! I learned it was just easier to keep them in the stroller in unsafe/crowded places. At this age, they just aren't under voice control and cannot process the idea that the world is not safe. For the time being, see the stroller as your friend. In a year or so, you'll be able to get him to hold your hand or stay close by. It may be sooner for you, but as I had two to contend with, they were really 3.5 before I could trust them.

My son did this. I was really concerned for safety reasons so the next time we went to the store I let him pick out a small toy at the begining of the trip. I didn't warn him about staying with me, just watched very closely. When he bolted again, I caught him and then told him he had to put his toy back since he ran from me. I looked him in the eye and told him very seriously he may not run in the store. I didn't go into a long explanation. Of course he was crushed about the toy but he really got the message and never ran from me again. The next time we went to the store, he got to keep his toy. :)

When my daughter was born my son was 29 months old, and decided to do the same thing. It didn't matter where we were, in a store, parking lot, post office, he would wait for his opportunity, run and hide. It was very scary. I ended up buying a harness, but it is shaped like a monkey and is also a backpack. We never called it a harness, always a backpack and he actually liked to wear it. The tail removes so if it is safe for him to be unattached to you, you can take it off, but leave the backpack on, so you can quickly reattach if necessary. He also received so many compliments on his cool monkey backpack, that sometimes he even asked to wear it when it wasn't necessary. We waited until he was 3 and started talking to him about stranger danger etc and now he has much more safety awareness. He just turned four, but we haven't really needed to wear the harness now for about 8 months. So the stage for us didn't last too long, but it felt like forever before I got the harness. When we were ready to start weaning him off the harness, we would put the monkey on without the tail, and tell him as long as he listened and stayed close, he didn't have to wear the tail, but if he wandered or took off, the tail would go on and stay on. Now he is four, never takes off, and is even pretty good about staying right with me when we are out. Occasionally he will step out of my sight, but I think it scares him more than me when he does that. Another idea too is he is doing this because he is bored and amusing himself, so try to give him something to do. Hold the list, or play I spy, or anything to keep him engaged. Shopping couldn't be more boring to a two year old when there are so many things out there still to explore. We also started playing hide and seek at home where it was safe, and explaining in simple terms that this is ok to do at home, but not when out in public places. He eventually got it, but it did take some time. For his safety though, you really need to either use a harness or put him in a stroller. It only takes a second for a child to disappear forever. Good luck to you.

Hi J.!

It looks like EVERYBODY has had the same experience as you! It's very normal for kids to run and hide, as you can now tell after reading all your responses.

My youngest boy began doing this (unexpectedly) at the same age. There was NO signs of him wanting to hide until that first time he ran off, so I can understand your "shock" with the situation. This is when I realized and thought THAT'S why they made that little "toddler leash"...for boys like mine! However, for some reason, I refused to use the "leash". Just because of the whole restraint thing, and the "looks" I would get for not handling my child "properly" (in their eye's), but mostly because I was afraid it would take us FOREVER to get our errands done because he would be too busy pretending to be a "dog" (he's very imaginative). But, I knew if I couldn't control the issue, then that would be my only alternative. Well, I'm happy to say...I didn't need the leash :o)

Now, your son's age is old enough to understand most of what you're saying...."it scares me"..."don't run off"...."don't hide".....etc...

It's the "WHY it scares you" that he can't understand very well yet. But, you should be able to tell him when you immediately walk into your store "You will NOT run and hide in this store. If you do, Mommy will put you in the cart with the belt on so you cannot get out and run away". Then give him a "reminder' as he starts getting his distance....because he WILL get distance to see if you are really going to get mad at him. The most important thing is FOLLOW THROUGH with your words. If he runs off/hides, then he MUST go in the cart with the belt on....It only has to be for 1 minute in order for him to get the idea. But your follow through is the most important and will create a foundation for the two of you NOW instead of later.

I always used to let him have "a moment" of fun hiding in the clothes racks wherever we went. It just had to be when I said it would be, not when HE wanted to run off and go hide. So, you can use that "reassuring bribe", and say "Mommy promises to let you hide in the clothes racks, if you do your best to stay by mommy in the store first".

You'll figure it out. Consistency is your key. And NOT laughing at him in those moments will help you even more to get a handle on the situation.''

If all else fails...you can always get a "leash" :o)

Good Luck

:o) N.

You need an umbrella stroller. They are really cheap and can get into most tight spaces. Every time that you go into a store, strap him in it. If he doesn't like it, that is good. When he settles down, take him out of it and when he bolts, put him back into it (make sure to strap him in). Eventually he will realize that when he does his bolt and hide routine, he gets put into the one place that he doesn't want to be and he will stop.

T.
~Mothers of teenagers understand why animals eat thier young~

J.

Kids at this age do not have the capacity to understand how dangerous it is to run and hide in a public place. If your son will still go into a stroller then put him in that while you shop. You can reward him for getting in and staying in his stroller. Promise a trip to the park if he behaves or something like that. This worked for my daughter for a long time but she is now 3.5 and refuses to get i anymore. I no longer take her shopping because she gets so excited and wants to touch everything, see everything. From my experience with the first one she will outgrow this soon!
Good luck

My 2.5 year old also loves to leave our side when we are out and does not like to hold hands. I have the monkey harness (backpack). They sell them at Target, Toysrus and probably Walmart for about $20. It's the best thing ever!!

Have you tried those little back packs w/ the soft tethers that you can buy from Target or Walmart? My twins that are 25 months old think they are great fun...we make a big game out of it. They still get their freedom, but I have a handle on where they can go....especially b/c there are two! :) Definitely practice at home before you try it in public....

Good luck....I'm a 33 year old SAHM or boy and girl twins that are 25 months old.

My daughter loves to run off and explore / find small hidey-holes as well. The thing that has saved my sanity is a child locator. The one I like the best is called Mommy, I'm Here.

http://www.mommyimhere.com/

You attach part of it to your child's shoe, and the other part goes on your purse/keychain. You turn the shoe-unit on, then when you can't find your child you press the button on your keychain. It makes a series of five loud beep sets so that it is easy to home in on your child.

Buy a leash. Seriously. You can't reason with a 2 years (I know, my daughter is the same age) & they have no concept of cause & effect right now. You can get cute leashes at Target & Walmart for $10 that look like puppies or monkeys and will save you from running after him. He will eventually understand but in the meanwhile you don't have to freak out because he is hiding from you. Good luck.

Your son is not yet able to reason. One day, he will be able to comprehend words like danger and safety. For now, you need to be the one in physical charge. There are several devices available that resemble leashes. I thought they were silly or inhumane when I first saw them, but soon realized the safety and peace of mind they afforded. They generally attach to either the back of the pants or to a backpack that the child wears and then either attach on the other end to you our your clothing. My own son soon got used to being attached to me. My grandson absolutely loves his animal backpack. He got to help pick it out. Let your son have some say in which device he gets to wear, then he may be more willing to cooperate with it. Yes, continue having rational conversations with your son about proper ways to behave in public places (rules) and the right time for game playing. Eventually it will get through. But in the meantime, take all necessary measures to keep him safe and still be able to get your own "chores" accomplished!

you've gotten a lot of great responses. I also have a son who is 2 and 4 months and runs away. I also have a 5 month old daughter. I have realized that it really isn't fair for him to expect him to not run and play at this age... Especially if it is the first trip out of the day. I have decided that bringing my kids to parks and places where they can run and burn energy is much more pleasant for everyone, and it is much better quality time. Obviously, you sometimes must go to stores, but I try to do it after playtime at the park so that he is more tired and doesn't mind being in the stroller. I know we have to shop sometimes, but I have a much better experience if I do it on the weekends when my husband can watch him, or after they go to bed at night.
just my opinion. good luck

All of that advice sounds great. When I was younger my sister would run off and hid in the clothes rack. My mother was scared sh*tless. But we put a leash on her (now that was at least 30 years ago)We used again when we went to Disney land. Now that I have my own very headstrong Little Boy I do the same thing. He knows to hold my hand when we cross the street or to stay in his stroller, but when we go into a mall he can walk around on his own (because he is very independant) but he is wearing his monkey backpack harness with cute tail that I hold onto. Now some might get offended by saying that a child is not an animal. NO they are smarter which makes them worse!

So my advice is to use a harness.

Hi J.! I have two son's that are thirty three and thirty two. Boy's will be boy's ! When there is two doing that it's really a great job! I had the same problem with them! I started telling them before we left thehouse if you go away from me we will go sit in the car until you can mind! So you tell me when it's time to go back in and then he is to promise that he will be a good boy! If you go to the car fifteen times. Don't talk to him , but tell tell him your very upset with him now!! Before going back in always let him know that you love him but he has to learn not to run away from you and why!! Because mommy would be very sad if anything happened to him!! He's still a little guy ,but these children at this age are very smart!!tell daddy when he gets home ,but sence you took a hold of the problem at the time for him not to be mad until happens to him! He can shake his head and ask him did you learn from mommy ? And just always remind him that you love him . That's why you want nothing to happen to him!! If that doesn't work you will have to try something else. That's what i did!!when he starts doing in the store what you want remember to reward him or tell him how proud you are of him and tell him why after you leave the place that you where at!! One thing alway's remind them before you leave the house or while getting out of the car of what you expect!! Even if your going to grandma's house or a friend!! It's your child that you want for people to say! You can come and visit anytime!!!

I have read and experienced with my 3 children (one whom used to hide all the time)that when you speak in a monotone calm manner consistently that they often don't retain or digest what is said. So, if you use the same tone to say no as yes they can not decifer your meaning. Intonnation is our voices helps everyone understand our meaning. In other words its not what you say rather how you say it. You may think this is not positive, but I make a very firm and often yell 'no' or 'stop'. It should be jarring to the child so they get this is different than other situations. This is a dangerous situation! Also, you want to make sure that you don't say don't do this or that because they often hear what follows the don't or no. Simply say 'stop' then when the child gets they need to stop and have, then follow with explanation. Your child is young I know, but at some point they need to get the seriousness of certain situations such as; dangerous ones. Good luck!

Hi J.,
My daughter is about the same age and loves to walk with me when we go to any stores. I tell her that she can walk as long as she listens to me and stays with me, and if she doesn't then I will get a cart or the stroller. Once in a while I have to ask her if I have to get a cart/stroller and then she immediately says "NO" and stick by me like glue. In the beginning I had to put her in a cart 2 or 3 times. She would get very upset and I would remind her that it was her choice and because she made the choice not to obey she has to ride in the cart. The trick is to not make idle threats.
L.

Have you thought about putting him in a stroller. He really isn't old enough to be going shopping without being somewhat contained. The strollers really work wonders, or the shopping basket in the stores.

Hi,

My son used to do the same thing. First, he gets to be in the stroller or basket every single time. He understood the boundaries and I would keep him buckled in. When he was ready to follow directions by staying with us and not waundering or hiding or running, he got to get out like a big boy and walk with us. One thing that worked good for him also, was the backpack baby leash basically. It's a cute little stuffed animal with a harness that he wears and a strand that you can hold onto. Not sure if you like that idea, but it worked for our son since he understood the boundaries with that. Good luck.

Jen mom of a 6yr old and 19 month old.

I would say the easiest thing to do is to push him in a stroller.

J.,
Well, when my Chelsea was that age, she hid inside the racks at jcpennys and put her feet one the metal bars on the bottom so we could not see her. I ran screaming every
where in the childrens dept for her. After that I told her she had to stay with me, or she had to wear her harness.
I also had her 6 month old brother with us at the same time, and she truly thought she was playing with me. I know a lot of people don't believe in the harnesses, and I did not either, but I had to do something to keep her from
doing it again, and she hated the one time she wore it, she stayed with us after that...all it took was once. In this day and age, you can never be to safe.

Hi. Buy a little fanny pack for him to belt on to his waist (you can find cute ones in the shape of animals), my child had a Winnie the Pooh character on hers. It was only big enough to hold a small item. Put his favorite little item in the pouch so he always has it with him. Then go buy a pet leash and attach it to the fanny pack, this way, he can only get so far from you. I know some of you may not approve of this, but it does work, and it worked well for me in places where I was so worried my child would disappear. You can slip the loop or the hook onto the fanny pack, deciding who is really on the leash!

HI J.,

This is typical 2 year-old behavior. My son and daughter (both Scorpios, like your son?)ran off at this age also. A child this age must be in a stroller with the belt on. Try bringing a toy like the Fisher Price Doodle Pro for scribbling, stickers, or snacks to eat. If that doesn't work, let him hold a toy from the store, but he can only have it if he stays in the stroller quietly. Good luck! This too shall pass! Mine are now 3 and 6.

Laraine

Some years ago MY eldest child did the same and my Mom sent me a little harness that I put on him until he matured a little more and was able to understand that this wasn't acceptable behavior in public. Once he could comprehend, the harness came off with no further problems. It's a matter of maturity in your childs thinking process and you must protect him from himself until he understands B. M

Hi J.,
Please try using a harness and a leash - no he is not a dog, but he needs to be in your contol. I see Mama's using it every where. My own Grandma used on for me so I wouldn't get run over by a car when we went for a walk.
Hope this helps,
Patti

Hi J.
My daughter has done that to me more than enough times. If a stroller won't contain him and he won't stick by your side &/or hold your hand, there are "leashes" you can buy. All they are are harnesses that go around your toddler's chest with a leash attached (for lack of a better word) that you hold onto. I found an Elmo one for $6 at Wal-Mart & it seems to work - if my daughter tries to wander off, I know it everytime. However, it also gives her a little freedom to move about and explore without safety being a true problem. I have also seen ones with a monkey back back to kind of hide the fact that it is, for all practical purposes, a leash.
I have had a friend or 2 look at me funny, but it is a training tool just as much as a training pants. I know my daughter best & this has been the only way to deal with her budding independence in a safe way.

He is too young to get what you are telling him. Use a leash or belt him in the stroller. If none of that works, then you may have to not take him shopping for a couple of months.

I have an active 2.3 year old who loves to run. So whenever we go shopping, she is either in a shopping cart or in her stroller. Until she is old enough to stay with mommy and be a good listener, this is the only way I know she is safe!

Have you tried pretending like you're leaving? Make it sound like you're going to leave him behind. Maybe this will jolt him into staying by your side. This always seems to work with my 3 children.

hi J.
i have an 18 year old daughter and a 2 year old step daaughter
years ago when my oldest was 2 she also thought it was funny to run and hide at clothing stores! i dont know if what i did was the right thing but i took her to a store i was a regular at and when she ran and hide i hide to. of course i could see her and when she relized i wasnt in eyes view i could actually see the panic come across her face. i imedeatly stepped into view and she never ran off again. all of this took a matter of 2 or 3 minutes. 2 year olds are very smart.
thats what i did
C.

Hello, this is the first time I have responded to anyone! I have the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old son (who's 50 lbs.). It started when he was about 2. It seems to be a big game to him, unfortunately strollers and other devices are too small. My husband and I have tried everything! The only resolve for us at this point is one watches him and the other shops or we get a babysitter. When I'm desperate I strap him in the front shopping cart and run thru the store! It's a very scary situation in this day and age. Slowly but surely as he gets older he does understand and listen better!

I used an Eddie Bauer doggie backpack harness from target with my first who also liked to run away from me. There were a few horrid two year old moments with her lying on the floor refusing to stand up, but a couple times of removing her form the store and leaving and she understood the consequence and stopped that behavior. No matter the looks and stares from strangers…it was still the safest decision I ever made. Also the backpack part, although it did not hold much, helped to interest her into wearing it.

Hi J.,

My son did this very thing and boy let me tell you how frustrated I was. There is light at the end of the tunnel because he totally grew out of it. I think it's an indivdual/personality thing as he is a twin and his sister did not do this even when she seen her twin doing it. I would make him sit in his stroller whenever we went out and let his twin have the freedom of walking. Whenever he would ask to get out I would say no you have to stay seated because you run from mommy. Then on other occassions I would give him chances and say son mom's going to let you walk in this store, but you have to show me that you will stay with mom. If you dont I'm going to place you in the stroller. I would allow him to do this on very short less busy outtings, so he wouldnt be tempted to dash off. We use to call him "The Runner". I remember once he took off running into a dept store while we were in the mall and I had to literally leave his twin and his older sitter while I took off after him. He'll eventually grow out of it. hope this helps

hold his hand or stick him in a cart. Or buy one of those kid leashes.

I think a natural consequence would be keeping him in a stroller when in public places until he earns your trust. Explain to him that you need to be sure he's safe. I don't think of this as punitive, and I hope you don't either.

The Bible sums it up perfectly because it is perfect truth:
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to displine him" Proverbs 13:24

"Disciple your son for in that there is hope, you will not be a willing party to his death (spirtual death)" Proverbs 19:18

Parents are encouraged to apply the rod of punishemnt to drive out folly so that the child will not follow a path of destruction. The rod (imparts wisdom) and promotes a healthy and happy family. Disciple is rooted in love.

I have an almost 3 year old who is very curious and social. We had him on his leash from the time he could walk until last summer. They make really cute harnesses with stuffed animal back packs. I have never had a negative reaction from anyone regaurding the leash- lots of people thought it was a great idea. Last year I had the most trouble with him at the post office. One trick I was about ready to try is to have a friend waiting outside and as soon as child starts to be a problem, pick up the cell phone and tell friend. "come and get him, shopping is not fun." Friend then calmly comes in picks your child up takes him back to his bedroom where he waits until you get home. Once you are home he has to pay the babysitting fee with a favorite toy. At the time, most of my friends either wouldn't understand what I was trying to do or had several kids of their own that they would have to drag along so I haven't tried this yet.
Instead I took him to a park. Here in Redding, we have one that is really nice with lots of slides and things to climb on. Then I would take him with me for short easy errands like going to the bank or a quick trip to the store. When he behaved we went immediately to the park. The first week, he missed out on 3 park trips, by the third week we were at the park almost every day and within a month I could take him to the post office and wait in a line of up to 6 people and he would stay reasonably close.

You know my son is 2 and a half and he does the same thing. So, I do not give him a chance to run away from me and this is because I find the first cart that there is and then I seat belt him in. Or if there is not a cart availiable then I will bring a stroller with me, so he can not run away from me. I am three other children, so I will make a list and get what I need from the store and get out as quick as I can. I know that things are going to get easier once they get older and this is what I keep telling myself and I wanted to tell you too. I hope this works for you, cause I know it helps me.
Good luck, D.

I had this problem when my son was little. Put him in a stroller and strap him in, in a shopping cart if the store has them... or use one of those tetters (leash) to contain him. Yes, people will look at you weird and wonder but then maybe they never experienced this with their child. Anything is worth not having the fear of losing your child. Good luck!

I've noticed that the kids who are 'runners' often have a mother who is pregnant, or maybe out of shape, or just otherwise unable or unwilling to physically keep up with their children. So when the kids run, the mom will put her hands on her hips, yell after them, threaten and call, but won't actually run after them on most occasions.

With dd, when she experimented with running as a toddler I CHASED HER DOWN. Period. Anytime, anywhere, no matter what I was doing or how foolish it made me look. Then when I caught her I made it clear that I was not happy, that this wasn't a game, and that there would be consequences if she chose to do this. If we were at the park, for instance, then I'd pack up and take her home.

It didn't take more than a handful of times for her to figure out that there wasn't any point (nor any fun) in running.

Hi J.,
Yes they love to play the hide and seek game no matter where they are. And the more you chase or show fear the more the game intrigues them.
Suggestion: Introduce the echo game to your son. Try playing this game with him at home so he learns the rewards of echoing. When he echos you in the market/store he gets a treat of his choice... say maybe a ride on the merry go round, a treat or a playdate with you. When he is hiding you can find him by his voice.

Put him on a leash (one of those child harnesses with a strap.) He either wont' mind (and be safe at hand) or hate it and quickly learn that if he wants to be off the leash he has to promise not to run and hide. He'll learn. But you will have to be firm and every time he runs away, put it back on him even if he screams and cries. He must learn concequences of his actions. And it is better to learn the concequence is being put on a leash than the other horrid concequences of being truly lost or kidnapped.

I remembered my son was doing the same when he was little. I will be calling his name and he thinks it was funny that I couldnt find him and almost giving me a heart-attack I bought a leash and put it on his arm when going to shop at clothing stores. I find it the easies way to keep him safe and not getting away from me. Hope this will work for you.