My daughter will be 3 in July. She's never been a good sleeper and it just seems to get worse as time goes on. When she was an infant up to about 1yr old she took 2 - 30minute naps once she got out of the newborn stage of falling asleep through out the day. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 10mo old (breastfed baby). Her naps eventually went to 1hr in the morning and a 1.-2 hours in the afternoon until she was about 18mo when we cut out the morning nap all together. Then she would sleep 2 solid hours (finally!) in the afternoon. HOWEVER even though she was sleeping through the night and taking a good nap she almost always wakes up screaming, crying and is whiney and crabby for at least 30 minutes, closer to an hour and sometimes longer. I've started using the tv to get her quiet (which I hate!) until she is in a better mood. We moved her to a toddler bed around 22mo because she was climbing out. She transitioned ok and about 9mo ago she started coming into our bed in the early morning and it just got earlier and earlier. Now she can be in our bed as early as 11pm. We moved her to a twin bed in January and she got better for about a month then she tried cutting out her nap about 2 mo ago and started taking it again about 2 weeks ago. She often wakes at night, even when she's in our bed. I don't have a problem with her coming into our bed although we are very firm about going to sleep in her bed. I also don't necessarily expect her to sleep through the night. My main problem is that the manner in which she wakes. It doesn't matter whether she's in our bed or not she always wakes up crying/screaming. Some nights she can wake me 3-4x/night....more than my 4mo old!! My son was a great sleeper and woke up in a good mood for the most part, the 4mo old already sleeps better than the 2.5 year old. Teething, colds and growth spurts can only be used as an excuse for so long. It's like she's sleep deprived all the time but she "sleeps" 730pm (some days earlier) to 7-8am with a 1-2hr nap. My husband even showers in another room if she's asleep when he gets ready for work. We haven't been to the pediatrician for anything since her last checkup so I haven't talked to her yet about any of this. Does anyone have ANY suggestions as to what could be causing all of this and what I can do to change it/help her sleep better?? (I know this is long but I wanted to give as much info as possible) Thanks!!
Well I'm pretty sure it's not terrors, forgot to leave that part out too. There have been times where I do know she isn't really awake because it's like she's looking through us. I was a sleep walker as a kid too so I wouldn't be surprised if my kids do it. Anyway - the very first response was about low blood sugar. My daughter isn't the best eater and I'm a big advocate on not forcing kids to eat. BUT after reading the low blood sugar thing I realized that days she eats a good lunch before nap or has a snack right after nap she perks up pretty quickly. That very night I made her eat a good dinner. I made sure she had breakfast and some juice when she got up in the morning, made her eat a good lunch, juice/snack when she woke etc. I have done this since I received that response and it has made a HUGE difference. She's still coming into our room at night (which isn't a problem for us!) but she has come in quietly and crawled into bed and fell back to sleep. She has been waking from naps in a better mood and if she seems crabby and out of it I've given her some juice and it seems better! I cannot tell you how much this has already changed things. Now I just have to battle her at every meal to eat!!
It sounds as if she is having nightmares try to get her to tell you what she is dreaming maybe if she can articulate what is going on while she will get over it good luck A. no hills
I could have written that post myself!!! My daughter at 2.5 is an okay sleeper - she actually has gotten better now that her 8 month old brother sleeps in her room. She used to end up in bed with us every night - the time would always vary. She'd always take naps with us on the weekends. Then her brother was born and that all stopped. She stopped coming into our room at night but still woke and stopped taking naps. We just adjusted and I was very tired (hubby works 2nd shift). Luckily when she wakes, she's quick to go back to sleep.
Now, she'll just come into our room on her own - usually between 2-5am. She'll just get in bed with us and go right back to sleep. If she tries to talk or anything, I tell her that it's night night time and do not talk to her. She gets the hint pretty fast. I've had an occasional time where she wants to 'get up and play' at 3 am and I tell her she can lay down and go to sleep or go back into her room. She always chooses the first!
I read on a different post that someone had a 'mouse bed' in their room which was blankets/comforters on the floor and the rule was their child had to be quiet as a mouse when they came in and could only sleep on the floor. I have a friend who said every night one of her three siblings or she would end up in their parents bedroom but the rule was that they had to sleep on the floor. That is one idea you can try - maybe she'd rather go back to her bed than sleep on the floor.
I do not think there is anything wrong with her or anything you can do to help her sleep better. I realize that children need to be able to fall back asleep themselves, but I know I like to sleep next to someone - so I understand why she does too! My husband comes to bed only a few hours before I get up but even if he didn't, we do not mind having our kids sleep with us. Some nights, there are four of us in there - the 2.5 year old, 8 month old and my husband and I who are each tall. I joked that if we have a third, we'll need a bigger bed!
I told my daughter that when my son is old enough for a big boy bed like her, they can share a bed if they want (they share a room). I would think this would deter nighttime visits to our room but I am not sure about that!
Have you researched Night Terrors at all? My daughter had them between 2.5 and 3.5 yrs and VERY occasionally gets them at 4.5. I just googled quickly and copied and pasted a quick blurb for you. Much easier than trying to get my mushy mommy brain to explain it to you in a way you can understand. :)
Definition of Night Terrors
Sleep terror disorder or "night terrors" is a condition that occurs during stages 3 or 4 of non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. It is characterized by repeated episodes of abrupt awakening, usually with a panicky scream, and accompanied by intense anxiety, confusion, agitation, disorientation, unresponsiveness, marked motor movements, and total amnesia concerning the event.
Description of Night Terrors
Night terrors usually occur 1/2 hour to 3 1/2 hours after falling asleep. During these episodes people wake up sweating heavily, their hearts pounding and eyes glazed over, screaming in fear. They are unaware of their surroundings and unresponsive to attempts to comfort them. They may not calm down for 10 or 15 minutes, although they return to sleep quickly once the episode ends.
Generally they do not remember what scared them, but rarely a person will retain a vague image of something terrifying. A few children and adults who experience night terrors will sleepwalk during the episode.
**Edit** My daughter had a night terror 10 mins. after I typed this. I think I jinxed myself. :)
Check for low blood sugar. A friend of mine has a son who was a poor sleeper and found that he had low blood sugar, so he needed to eat a snack right before bed and as soon as he woke up (she gave him OJ in the morning). When his blood sugar got low, he got grumpy and miserable. It helped a lot, and he sleeps better now and wakes up more pleasant and even more pleasant after his morning OJ.
I agree that it might be night terrors. My son started with what I call "nap terrors", and would cry uncontrollably for up to 45min when waking from his nap. I couldn't come up with anything to prevent this. He doesn't do this anymore, but does exactly what you described at night. We stumbled on a solution one night, by taking him outside to look at the moon. I don't know if it is the cold air or what, but the second we step foot outside he snaps out of it, lays his head on our shoulder and we put him right back in his bed.
I like the idea of the mousie bed, our strategy now is that one of us will sleep on his floor, but he has to stay in his bed. I guess whatever works into your/husband's schedule best. I have found myself going from one kid's room to the next all night long - I look forward to the day they can keep each other company!
Get a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth, it's a fabulous book that's helped me with all of my sleep questions for my children. After having read and re-read this book, I suggest you put her down to sleep even earlier than you have been. I would try 6 or 630 for a couple of nights and see if that doesn't help. It sounds as if she's just not quite getting enough sleep and the lack of sleep has caught up with her. Also, if she's joining you in your bed, she's probably not getting good quality sleep (staying in a light sleep state); I would put her back in her bed every time she comes to yours, but make sure you do it without talking to her and without looking her in the eye so she doesn't think it's play time. Honestly though, buy a copy of the book I mentioned, it's well worth it! Good luck! :)
Hi M.,
This is always a dificult situation to be in. I also used to bring my daughter into my room when she whould wake up in the middle of the night. I did that for a long time until she bacame a bed hog and wouldn't leave me alone to sleep. That's when I found this on-line book called "sleep sense program."
After reading the book, I realized that the habits my daughter had were actually being inforced by me. I also never taught my daughter to fall asleep on her own. (which may not be your situation).
Sounds like she is waking up expecting you to come get her. That is a habit being inforced by you and your husband.
I could go on forever, but I would rather you have to book to start reading. It really did change our lives for the better. Shoot me an email at ____@____.com and I will forward it to you. (and anyone else who might need it)
Good luck!
M.
My daughter was very similar at that age to your daughter. She never has been a great sleeper and always wakes up crabby and seemingly tired. She did come into our bed at night for quite a while until about 3 years of age. We finally just put our foot down and told her she could not sleep in our bed. We would just take her back to her bed and put her back to sleep. I don't know if she is similar physically to my daughter, but my daughter is very long and lean. She has never had a lot of fat on her body and tends to be a grazer when she eats. So, I have found that giving her something small to eat (like a piece of toast) before bedtime seems to help. She has always had trouble falling asleep, so we have to follow a good bedtime ritual. (Bath, snack, brush teeth, story, backrub) I completely understand about the TV, but I, too, have found with my daughter that she needs time to unwind in the morning. She wraps herself in a blanket and watches TV for about 1/2 hour to wake up. (My older sister was the same way - and she is built along the same lines as my daughter physically.) Anyway, I can tell you that it gets better. (My daughter is now 10.) And just being patient and letting her "wake up" in the morning has really helped.
