28 Mo. Old Will NOT Use a Fork or Spoon

Have you tried to take the fork & spoon totally away ? If she complains because she misses them, then tell her you will only give it back (her reward) if she uses them. Then try one @ a time. Nothing lost as she already just uses her other hand. Or just give her finger food until she can adequately handle the utensil

My 26 month old has the same problem. I asked the preschool about this, thinking they see enough kids eat and they said it was normal. They encourage them to use their silver ware, but they often use their hands.

My little one grabs handfuls and eats like a cave baby, although my friends baby has been using utensils since she was about 15 months. She is so neat and clean it makes mine look like an animal.

As well, my older daughter ate like this too. She did this most of her life and we used to ask her to sit on her hand and eat so she would not shovel. It never really worked until it was dating time.

I hope this helps.

Your daughter is old enough to understand simple table manners expected of her. Let her use only one utensil, either a fork or a spoon, but not both at the same time. Choose one for her, most appropriate for the meal.

Keep your attitude serious, to avoid giving her the impression that she is entertaining you with her bad table manners. Meal time is not Comedy Hour. Tell her the rules in simple terms, as to the behavior you will and will not accept.

The instant she displays behavior that breaks the rules, quietly and quickly take her plate and utensil away from her, place them out of her reach, and tell her this is what will happen any time SHE CHOOSES to break the rules. This way, she'll learn to accept responsibility for her own actions.

If she makes a fuss, ignore her and continue your meal, so that she understands you will not be swayed by any use of manipulation tactics. Let her think it over for a minute or so, then replace her plate and utensil, reminding her she needs to follow the rules.

Repeat, with absolute consistency, as many times as necessary, and very soon, it will become evident to your daughter, that her bad eating habits will simply not be tolerated, but instead be punished with the removal of her meal.

The comparison may seem strange, but this method of gratification denial, is similar to a simple training method, extremely effective for dogs with obnoxious habits (such as jumping up on visitors, etc). The moment my dog exhibits unwanted behavior, I quietly say, "Uh Oh", then lead him into any unoccupied room, and shut the door. After two or three minutes I let him out, confident that he will never again repeat that bad behavior (and he never does). The punishment of separation from his beloved "pack", even for a very short amount of time, is all that's necessary to eliminate his unwanted behavior for the rest of his life! Unfortunately, we can never again watch reruns of the motion picture, "Rainman" in his presence!

Good luck to you, hope my advice has helped. The most important things are consistency and a calm and serious attitude!

Hi S.,

It might sound a bit harsh to some of you, but... let her go hungry.

When my son was about 1 to 2, I remember he'd want to play with his food. I'd take his food away from him. After a few times, he got the message. He is now the cleanest eater you can imagine :) (He is now 8)

Kindly,
I.

have you considered pursuing an occupational therapy evaluation?? they address functional eating skills.

Ever see those hard plastic bibs with the big catch basin on the bottom? :-) If you take her out to a restaurant be sure it's "child friendly" and just clean up after her...don't leave it for the server! You do that and I'm sure you'll all have a great time. By the time she's dating I'm sure she'll figure it all out! :-)

Really though....just keep showing her good manners and she'll catch on.

For going out to dinner, I'd order finger food for her if it's available (or pack it to bring along).

It sounds like she's at a pretty normal stage right now, and it's not crucial that she use forks correctly yet. My suggestion is that if she's OK with you teaching her & you can still do it patiently, go ahead and keep it up, and expect it to take a while. Don't expect perfection.

But if it just feels like a battle of wills or a routine dinner-time entertainment for her, or if your own patience is too thin, give up the fork lessons for now because it will be counter-productive. Try again later in the year.

(Any kinds of food you just can't stand to clean up any more, it may be good idea to not serve them for a few months either, to save your nerves.)

Hi,
Frustrating im sure, like we dont have enough mess to clean up when they do use the utinsils!! lol
Try finding a spoon and fork with characters on them so that they are special to her and only hers. My son, Dawson is almost 3 and he will use anything that I tell him is "his"!

Worth a shot I hope.

Blessings,
A.

S.,

My daughter also refused silverware, especially if I were trying to feed her! But my husband and I decided it wasn't an issue we wanted to make a big deal about, so we let her do her own thing. She was (and still is) a strong-willed person. We got an inexpensive patterened carpet to go under the table, and scheduled bath time for after dinner.

She's now 11 and has very nice table manners.

So my advice is just roll with it and you daughter will come around to civilization as her fine moter skills improve.

Hello!
We are sort of in the same place with our 29 months old. This weekend we finally discoverd that she is beyond her beginning eater plastic forks. They are very blunt of course, but at this point she is capable and wants to spear foods and has apparently written off the plastc ones as inefficient. We gave her a kid size metal fork (still mostly blunt) and she proceeded to eat an entire ravioli cup with the fork!

Maybe this works for your daughter?

D.