28 Mth Old Won't Stay in Bed, Need Discipline Help

CONSISTANCY!!!! Put her back each and every time. She is just testing you so you have to be the boss and be more stubborn then she is. You have a rough week ahead of you, but as soon as she realizes that she's not going to win this battle, she will stop getting up...at least most nights! :) My girls are 2 years and 2 days apart and the oldest was moved out of the crib and into a twin bed at 22 months and we had the same problem. Like everything else, this too shall pass.

Take down the crib and put it away. EVERY time your toddler gets out of her toddler bed, put her back in with her lovey, paci, whatever she sleeps with. No hysterics, just lead her back and tell her "it is time to sleep". You must be consistent. Kids will see a weakness and make it into a gaping hole.

You must set up a very set, sleep time routine and not deviate. You may have to put up "block out fabric" over her windows this time of the year since it is not dark at nap or night bed times. Be sure to slow things down before nap and before bedtime.. I used to have to remind my husband, "as long as he riles her up, it will take double that time for him to calm her down".

No TV, no running, no tickling for at least half an hour before sleep time If you read her a book at any bedtime, this is not the time to ask her questions about the book. Read quietly and s-l-o-w-l-y. Get quieter and slower every page. Turn the air conditioner down an get a fan that has a nice hum, so it can blow over her...The white noise will also help her rest her mind.

Oh, sounds so familiar! I have a 3yr old and a 1yr old. Here area fews things we did, since nap time became a disaster and would wake up the baby all week, my 3yr old now has quiet time on the couch with her nap blanket and bear, she may watch cartoons but we turn it down very low, if she falls asleep great if not thats ok, we moved her bedtime up 30 minutes and she was so tired she would go right to sleep. We tried the whole walk her back to her room, timeouts etc, that did not work.my little one gets her naps and with her i made sure i did everything different, she goes to bed with her blankie and stuffy and i shut the door, she is out in 10mintues. She will cry sometimes bt not usually and i never let her cry more than 15min, then we do the lay down, close the door allover. I can't lock my 3yr old in with a gate she climbs over it and she might get hurt so that lasted 10minutes. You can shut the door, but why terrify her, that;s all it did to my 3yr old. I would take the crib out, if she is a big girl then her room she be big girl so she isn't confused and putting her in the crib is now a game. There are nights when my 3yr old has to have someone lay down with her until she settles in, we skipped the toddler bed and just put a full size one on the floor, that way we are comfortable also. She maybe needs someone for 5-10 minutes, i'd rather do that than battle with her all night and miss out time with my husband and myself :)
my girls go to bed at 8pm and are up at 8am, we try for 7:30 but it never works out :)
good luck and she will get it, if you need a playdate let me know or a break !!!

Take the crib out of her room. Leave the toddler bed. Each night you put her down, stand quietly outside her door and when you hear her get up, silently walk in, take her by the hand and walk her back to her bed, walk out, close the door and wait. If you hear her getting up again, repeat the process. Do not talk to her, do not turn on a light, do not try to "reason with her" (she's 2). After 1 or 2 times, you may have to carry her, but again, do so in silence. This may take 5 times but eventually she will figure out that you mean business and you will not tolerate her behavior. I did this with my daughter after we moved and she started getting up. It worked after 3 nights. After the 2nd night, all I had to do is point to the bed and she got back in. Don't turn this into a battle and don't talk to her about it. This is not something that's negotiable, therefore, no need for discussion. Turning on a light or talking to her will only stimulate her further and make it harder on the both of you. Be consistent and you will prevail! Man it's tough raising these kids! LOL

There's nothing wrong with a baby gate.

Try taking the crib out of the room - put her in her big girl bed and close the door or put up a gate. If she gets out and wants to "play" she is still confined. She will eventually go to sleep somewhere. It is a phase and a call for attention over the little sister. By acknowledgeing it and responding to her she is getting what she wants. At that age they don't care if it is postive or negative (even in high school they don't care, they just want it). There is a section in Baby 411 that talks about this. Eventually she will get bored with the tantrums and just go to sleep where she is supposed to. I have a friend who's daughter slept in a tent in the livingroom floor for a month, then one night said she wanted to start sleeping back in her bedroom. It was much easier for the whole family to apise her then to fight the situation and once the novalty of it wore off things went back to normal.

Your 2 year old sounds lilke she is jealous of her new baby sister, which is normal. First, read Siblings Without Rivalry. It is a wonderful book. Try spending some mommy and me time just with your 2 year old every week, even if it is just 30 minutes. Consider making some simple decorative changes to her room that your daughter approves of. It may give her a sense of control. When our son was 3 and was sleeping in his big boy bed, we sold his crib and he cried and cried. He was really attached to it, but got past it after a few days. A couple of ideas. You will need to decide which might work for your family. I have some friends who have set up a sleeping bag and pillow next to mom and dad's bed if their child gets up and is scared to sleep alone. Other friends just place their child back in their own bed (say, "Back to Bed" the first time and after that don't say anything and just put them back in their own bed. When your daughter is closer to 3, try the token approach. Give her a token before she goes to bed. If she gets up she uses the token and has to give it back to you (and that's okay). If she stays in bed, then she gets to keep it. After she accumulates 7 tokens, then she gets a _________(special trip to the park, a new book, a new toy, etc.) Also, don't lay down with her if you are. If she wakes up and you are not there, she will sense a void. Good Luck!

My son hated his crib so we put him in a toddler bed at 22 months. He loved his new freedom of getting up and around in his room. We ended up putting a gate on his bedroom door for safety reasons and to keep him in his room.

I think a crib is the same concept as a gate. They both confine them. The only difference is that the gate gives them more room in a defined space.

I ended up staying in his room at bedtime with him for about a week. He did not understand that he needed to stay in his bed, so every time he got up I put him back in until he fell asleep.

The gate was a lifesaver at nap time. He played for about an hour and then fell asleep in his bed. If I did not have a gate up I am positive he would have not taken a much needed nap at that age.

Now that he is 3, the gate is off and he understands to stay in bed unless he needs to use the restroom. We do not have any problems with him staying in his room at bedtime.

Good Luck to you.

You have great responses, take her back, a consistent quiet routine. I would add only one thing. Plug into her fear: that you will all disappear in the middle of the night. This is an age of separation anxiety. I would add to the story routine, "you sleep in your bed, mommy sleeps in her bed, daddy sleeps in his bed and in the morning we all wake up and go down and have breakfast. What do you want ot eat for breakfast?" Kiss her good night and remember to say, " see you in the morning". You might have to wear your jammies for this part to reinforce it.

Also, put a chair in the hall outside while you wait for her to settle down and bring something to read, then you won't try to rush the process.

Good luck. It is a universal problem.
K.

I feel your pain...my 29 month old is up off and on all night (I am talking until 11 or 12 midnight). If you put her back in her crib that is sending mixed messages to her and it is not being consistent. This is our third child so we have been through this before, but not with one who could open her door. You may want to consider getting a child lock for the door knob. I just put her back in her bed 100 times and with each night it is getting to be fewer and fewer times. She is getting the idea. This is a huge move, but it may be a really good idea to either remove the crib or put the baby in it. Then she can associate the crib with a baby which of coarse she is not. =) I hope this helped some. Good luck!

Hi LR
sounds like your daughter is going thru some sibling issues and is really trying your patience when she knows she can.
Ithink what I would do is take the pak and play and put it up ......put the baby into the crib and she will see that her big girl bed is for her own .........not giving her a choice .....continuing to put her back into her bed over and over can really be trying and if it gets to the point where you are not comfortable going to bed for the nite...worrying about her getting up- then I would use the gate to be sure she does not wander around........it is a phase and she will pretty soon outgrow it......I have heard a lot of mommies going thru the same thing with the transition and new babies.... As with all things with little ones......this to will pass......
good luck and blessings

In case this little kernel helps at all.... Our pediatrician told me that most children do not understand the concept of imaginary boundaries ("stay in bed") until they are closer to age 3. If she doesn't have the cognitive ability at her current age then yes, you are setting yourself up for a continuous battle until she does achieve that milestone.

If I was in your shoes, I would take away the toddler bed and reintroduce it when she's closer to 32 months. Otherwise, one of you need to lay on the floor (to ensure she stays in bed) until she falls asleep in the toddler bed.

What you are doing sounds fine. I would eliminate the crib, though. Just put her back in her bed when she gets out. Watch a supernanny episode with sleep issue kids and you will get the idea. You are doing it right, just leave the crib out of it. She gets up- say- nope bedtime- and put her back in her bed. No other discussion, no words. Plop her right back in. It will take a while, but be consistent and it will work.

Good luck!

What we did with our daughter was turn on a fan for a little white noise, as I saw someone else mentioned. Another thing we had to do was lay on the floor next to her bed, at first then gradually we would start to move further away from the bed each night till we were outside her door and then out of sight completely...I think this process actually took a month. Just gotta be consistent. Good luck!! I know it's tiring!