2Nd C-section and Scared!

I went through 2 c sections. I didn'[t have twins but they are 18 months apart. I was fully prepared that this would be a difficult time. I didn't have help except from my dh. My MIL was of no use, and my own mother died 10 years before the boys were born. Anyway, I took that time to relax. I knew that I wouldnt have it when I got home or any time there after. When I came home, it went well. Yes, there were still difficulies but they were outweighted by the JOY! Good Luck and Congratulations.

Hi Kara,
I had 2 c-sections with my kids, 5 and 2, and the second time was much easier, even though he spent the first 6 week in the hospital. Don't be afraid of pain medication or try to be a hero, take it around the clock in the beginning to help with the pain. Grab all the help you can, and have lots of quiet activities set up for the twins, (movies, playdough, paints, stampers, anything new you can whip out in a moment of panic-worry about the mess another time-you won't remember the mess, but the quiet time you will!!) I am the co-owner of Baby Just Home Nursing Services, LLC, check out our website babyjusthome.com, we can help take care of the baby while you take a moment to take care of yourself, anything from a few hours to all day or night. We also provide overnight help if that is something you need. We are totally flexible to times, lenghts of times, and no contracts, we understand you have no idea what you will need the next day of your life with a newborn involved! Good luck and best wishes! N.

Kara,
I too had two c-sections, but the first was unplanned and it was done after 30+ hours of labor. Then the second was planned, like yours. the second was MUCH easier, scary yes, mostly because I figured it would be like the first. Recovery was much easier, but it was still a recovery period. When I went home, my husband was only able to stay home for three days. Then I was on my own, with an 18-month old and a new born. I didn't have twins, so I don't even come close to what you will have, but it IS do-able. Just remember that housework and cooking and cleaning and phone calls all come last! I came downstairs in the morning and stayed down there all day, because I was not allowed up/down stairs from the "c". My husband took laundry/toys/etc. down stairs in the morning before he left for work. My 18-month old daughter took naps on the couch, I slept on the floor next to her in case she fell off, and my new born son slept in the bassinette nearby. My husband took over when he got home, helping with the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry. Take any offers of help and food that you get, people do want to help you even though they can't do it every day. If someone offers to help, see if they can take the twins for an hour or two while you and baby sleep. Get as much rest as you can, even if it's only for 20 minutes in the day.
Good luck. You remember those first few months with the twins, how crazy they were? They will be just as bad, then suddenly you will see light at the end of the tunnel. My babies are teens now, and although I don't miss the hectic days, I still remember those early days with lots of love.

Hi,
I also had a horrible first c-section experience. After laboring for about 13 hours they had to do an emergency c-section. I was in terrible pain during the procedure. I was so scared when I was scheduled again with my second child, but I can't begin to tell you how much easier it was. It was almost a pleasant experience. I had no pain at all and the recooperation time was much shorter. I also had hardly any help after the second one because my husband had back surgery about a month after. Of course I didn't have twins and my oldest was almost 4 but it really was a lot easier. I hope this helps.

Kara,
Take a deep breath! Congrats on the new baby! It may not be as bad as you imagine. Things may be a bit hectic until you get adjusted but don't let fear & worry settle it at this time. My c'section is scheduled for Tuesday. I'll be coming to a 4 year old. My husband will only be able to home with us the first week. After that, our daughter will miss some time out of preschool until my doctor says it's safe for me to drive again. Oh, did I mention that I run a home based business??? I have new business partners that need my support but obviously will have to wait a while.

Basically, it's all about making the adjustment and finding what will work for you. Don't worry, things will work out fine! If you need a shoulder to cry on....###-###-####.

God Bless
M.

I can't comment on the c-section, but I would like to strongly second the recommendations to get an extra hand. Trust me my husband and I do not have huge incomes, but we decided to spend the extra money to get some help around the house. At first I had someone come for four hours 2 times a week. She helped with anything like washing dishes, laundry, folding laundry, cleaning, making the beds, and she would watch the baby so I could have some time with my oldest. Eventually we scaled back to once a week and then every other week, but it has been a huge help. I think there is just only so much you can expect of yourself while trying to be a good mommy and adjust to life with another baby. Plus, it is a difficult transition for everyone, and having some come to babysit or clean really lifts the pressure.

Good luck with the c-section! Demand to see your baby right away. Those first few hours of bonding time are so important!

Hi Kara-
I'm a 3 c-section mommy. My oldest is 15 y/o and middle child 13 y/o when my amazing baby boy was born via c-section. I was scared too, I don't think you can ever get over the fear and with reason considering c-section is major abdominal surgery.

I had my will all made out and made my second husband sign responsibility for my first two kids and was very nervous that I would not make it through the surgery to see my beautiful baby boy. It was even harder to imagine a successful delivery because I had a high risk pregnancy after the 28th week I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

Keep praying, keep your family near, enjoy your blessings and know that you will not be the only mother going through a c-section again.

P.S. In 1993 I was in the hospital delivering my 2nd child by c-section and the mom in the bed next to me was delivering her 6th child via c-section.

Kara-
I have had 3 cscections, and they do get better. My first was unplanned..the hefty lil guy wouldn't budge down the birth canal. I too was also extremely sick after I had him but found out for future c-sect. there is a drug to combat any adverse reactions to anesthesia. I don't know the name of it however it tastes like a liquid sour sweet tart, that is exactly how i described it to my docs the morning of the 2nd & 3rd c-sec. and they knew just what it was. Good luck!!!

Last year I had my second C-Section. The first was unplanned. My daughter got stuck in the birth canal and 20+ hours of labor later they decided it was time. I was in tons of pain. So when I got pregnant with my second daughter I decided to go V-bac. I had every intention of avoiding a c-section, but hours into labor the doctor advised a C-section. I was literally in tears. I was terrified of going home in such pain and chasing after my then 3 year old. To my surprise I bounced back 100 times quicker the second time around. The pain in the midsection was so much less that I didn't even take narcotics in the hospital. Anyway, for whatever reason it was much easier the second time around. Good luck!

hello i had 2 c-sections my first child was 2 when i had my 2nd its not so bad you know what to look for now i won't lie the recovery for the 2nd time around is a little longer but the pain is not so bad let your twins help with the bottles and pass you diapers if they feel you need them it will not be so bad just take it easy and good luck!!! p.s my sis had 2 c-sections and her first was only one year and 2 months and she survied on her own trust in god he will see you through this thank you joyce

Kara, I had all 3 of my boys C-Section. The first was very scary since it was the unknown. I tended to baby myself after and therefore the recovery process went longer. Once I had a there yr old to take care of you force yourself to get up and moving sooner. When the third one happened I amazed the nurses in the hospital by walking around the hallways doing laps pushing my son's bassinet(using it as a crutch to be honest) within the first 24 hours. By the time I got home I was already feeling better than the previous surgeries. Make sure you have a pillow to place under your stomach so you can sleep on your side. This also helped for breastfeeding purposes as my arms did not get so tired since I could lay the baby on the pillow and support him much easier that way. I also did not have to take as much pain medication with each additional surgery since the sooner you get moving the less stiff you are. If you need to talk just email me. Good Luck and just remember it is all worth it!!!

I just had my third c-section in April. The recovery the second time around is much easier than the first. My advice is to get moving as quickly as possible. The sooner your up walking around the better your recovery will be. I am a daycare provider. I had the 18 mth old I care for back the following week. Take your pain medication on time. Don't wait until your in pain to take it again. Sleep as much as you can. See if a neighbor would be willing to take your twins for a couple of hours once in a while.

In response to Gretchen M - a c-section for a second baby is usually the safer route for both mother and baby. Because the uterus has aleady been cut open and sewn back together, the fear is that labor and the subsequent pushing could possibly cause the uterus to tear. Your uterus goes through a lot during a delivery as we all know! Kara, don't feel bad about having a c-section. The important thing is that both you and your new baby are safe and healthy. And if that means having another c-section to ensure this outcome, than the pain after surgery is well worth it. I had a c-section myself and plan to have another one with our second child knowing that the recovery is not easy. I just want to do everything I can to make sure that my baby has the safest delivery I can give him/her. Good luck with everything!

Just wondering why a c-section would be necessary? Your body recovers so much more quickly from regular labor and delivery. Our bodies were made to do this. Anyway, I guess I don't quite understand since I have had three children and am expecting my fourth without any interventions... I do hope the best for you and hope you have a quick recovery!:)

Hang in there! I had my second one in May and i had a 3 year old at home so I know where you are coming from. My advice would be - accept help when people ask! I tend to be the type to act like i can do it all, and i hate to put people out, but if people ask to help - let them! I wished i had done this with my first c-section! I finally did with my second. If friends and neighbors ask if you need help - say YES! Let them bring you food or see if they can watch the kids (in your home if that's easier for you) while you shower or lay down for 30 minutes.

If you don't have a support network, i agree with the mom who says get help even if it seems expensive. It's worth it. I hired my neighbors cleaning lady for the first few months - and it was so worth it. Or see if a baby sitter can watch the kids a few hours a day while you focus on the baby.

About the pain, talk to your doctor about post-surgery pain management. There are lots of options. I know it's hard, but try not to stress and just remember what exciting joy is around the corner!

If you need help once the kids come - post another note for help and us mamas out here can come to your rescue! :) Good luck!

Hi Kara- I just recently had my second c-section in September. I have a 20 month old boy at home too. My first baby was not a scheduled c-section but after 16 hrs of labor I finally had him. My second was to be scheduled but I went into labor early. I must say I had the same anxiety of knowing what to expect the second time around. Other than that complete nervousness going into the operating room and hoping that everything goes ok, it was a breeze the second time around. I felt that I recovered just as quick if not quicker. Take the time in the hospital if you can to rest. My 20 month old little boy is pretty good with his new sister. A little jealousy to be expected but they do sleep a lot in the beginning so just remember to give your twins as much attention as possible to reassure them. It will all workout once you get a good routine together, but take as much help as possible. Good luck and don't worry!!!!

I had 3 and they I think will always be a little scary. But all you have to focus on is that you don't have to squeeze the baby out, and that it will be perfect and in your arms sooner than you think. Also it is another way for you to have this baby all to yourself for a few extra days than most other moms delivering naturally. God is watching over you too, don't be stressed, this too will pass.

= C.

Kara!

You are very brave having a baby so close to twin boys!
But you are also very lucky! 2 boys and a girl...you are blessed with a well-rounded family now.

I had an emergency c-section with my first and then a planned c-section with my 2nd (both boys). The 2nd c-section was a cake-walk! Seriously. I knew what to expect, I knew what was expected of me when I got home (a 22 month old) and it was just all easier than the first. Even the pain was less, or so it seemed.

If you need help you should join your local MOMS Club chapter.
momsclub.com They are so supportive and can help with babysitting, etc. I'm the Pres. of my local chapter and just LOVE it!

My best to you, peace & love!
xo A.

Kara,
I feel for you. Fortunately for me, I was able to have a vbac.
That said, I will pray for you. Everyone does say that the second surgery is much easier. Plus, they only have to deliver one this time!
I really hope you can get the help you need. Try www.midwestnanny.com for temporary help. (at least:) Many people want to take care of newborns.
Best of luck.
amy

Hi Kara,

I'm a certified doula here in Chicago and would be happy to chat offline about helping you to relax before you welcome your baby on Thursday, as well as potentially helping you out after the baby is born. Please email me at ____@____.com or call ###-###-####.

Sincerely,
A. Burns, LCCE, CD(DONA)
www.birthtalk.com

Kara,
I was in your shoes a couple of years ago (minus the twins!) so I can understand how you are feeling. I had a terrible 1st c-section (it was an emergency, I had a terrible recovery, etc..) However, I do have to say my second one was much better! I recovered much quicker, and by the 2nd week when I could drive I took my 2 year old & the baby to a playgroup! I NEVER thought I would be able to do that!! My husband was home for the 1st week, but after that I was on my own. Really though, the baby sleeps so much that I had time to spend with my 2 year old. I bought several craft type things to do so I could take it easy a little. I know it feels so scary right now & I'm sure you are feeling anxious, but it will all be fine! Once you have that beautiful new baby in your arms everything will fall right into place!!

Best Wishes to you!!
C.

Kara
I have had four sections and four healthy (and brilliant ) children. My perineum thanks me everyday! The rule of thumb I used was to get help for at least two weeks ("help before bread"). I couldn't afford it but I did it. Also your recovery will go much faster if "lay down" for as long as you can. Your twins can play nearby etc. I am also a trained doula and I have assisted many vbacs (just last sunday as a matter of fact). Is this a decsion you feel is a reasonable one? What is your heart telling you? If you trust your doctor you have little to fear. If you don't just ask some questions- why does he/she feel this is necessary? Is there a chance you could labor? Many doctors feel a second section is not always the rule. Just food for thought. I can be reached at (J. )###-###-#### if you want to ask me any questions. Good Luck ! I hope your baby girl is an easy and healthy delivery either way!

Kara:

I had two c-sections. I can't say 100% but I believe you will be fine. The fear might be because we now know what will come to be. I didn't relish the thought but I focused on seeing my new baby girl. Also humor is helpful. I told the doctor to cut on the dotted line. In the long run as long as the baby is safe and not traumatized this helps in oh so many ways. Happy Birthday to that Baby Girl of yours.
God Bless

first I wanted to congratuate you on your pregnancy. I actually just had my first girl via c-section 3 months ago after having an emergency c-section with my twin boys 3 1/2 years ago. I can tell you the second one was a lot easier to recover from. I think someone said that you want to get up and moving as soon as you can. I had my c-section at midnight and was walking up to the special care nursery to visit my daughter by that evening. I also slept a TON while in the hospital because knowing I had busy body toddlers at home and will have a newborn I needed to get all the rest I could. My dh stayed home for a week and a half after I came home and it was a lot of help. I really needed about 3-4 days after I got home to get extra rest and into the swing of nursing. By the time the first week was over, I was the one up and running the house again. I dont have a lot of help either. Once my husband went back to work, I was on my own with my 3 all day. You will do fabulous!!

I had my 2nd c-sectiion last oct, my 1st was An emergency one! The 1st one was more painful n recovery was longer. Like u w/my 2nd I was tarafide didn't know what 2 expect because it was scheduled but it was the easiest thing! I was amazed how smooth it whent n haw colm my ob was. Recovery was better less time. The hardest thing was having another baby 2 come home 2. My son was 17mo old n very active n very much in love w/his new baby brother which made it harder cause he wanted to b alover the baby 24/7. It was cute but hard because he didn't want the baby t sleep'eat nothing but be in his arms. I didn't have any help my husbad had 2 work late hrs n my family doesn't live in Chicago. I think you do great on Thursday !!!!! And after just take it slow and 1day @ atime !!! Enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm sure I don't have 2 Tell you ow fast they grow. Take care. If you need anything pls let me know me know. 1more thing the epideral was also easier the 2nd time!!!!

Hi I have had four c-section in ALL directions...first one was emergency c-section....my daughter died. Then I had a son and then another little girl...and my last one was in 2004. I was able to eat solids that night ( I had her in the morning) you probably had too much anestesia (sp) last time and thats why you were sick...
After the third one I was dangling late that night...because I choose to I wanted to see my baby girl. And I am strong willed. You have to keep a strong will and tell yourself BEFORE you go in that you can do this .... give yourself pep talks the whole way I know it may sound lame but still...do it...I tell my self that the pain is a state of mind I am doing this to myself and to get over it for my baby...and it does work (I hate epiderals...HATE THEM)...
As far as coming home Listen to the Dr's don't be stubborn...DON'T LIFT ANYTHING OR DO STAIRS MORE THAN NEEDED!!
My c-section opened the second time around because I was like "ya ok whatever" and carried my son upstairs alone which was stupid I could have hurt him....and after that my husband had to pack the wound until it healed up....that is not just nasty but painful. Where are you located?

Kara:
I had one unplanned section, planned section and then a VBAC. The 2nd one was the scrariest because I knew what to expect and knew how difficult the recovery would be. Dealing with fear is hard and there are no easy answers. I don't know if you have a faith in God or not. My faith and prayer was the only thing that I can say really got me thru. Putting your body completely in other peoples hands by choice is hard. I had to make a decision to give my fear to God. I just let Him know how scared I was and asked for his help and to take care of me and my baby. God's word says "He will never leave us or forsake us" and you know what? He doesn't! I sensed his presence thru the whole operation and was much calmer than I ever thought I could be. If you do not have a belief in God, perhaps meditation on positive thoughts and ideas would help you. Talk truth to yourself. Tell yourself over and over, I will be ok. I have great doctors. I am a good, smart, sensible person. I am a good mom. etc.... Whatever positive things will help. Don't let yourself dwell on the negatives. When that fear creaps back in your mind - tell it to leave and replace it with a positive thought! I hope this helps you tonight. I will say a prayer for you. Take care.

Hi Kara

I am sorry to hear that you are so scared. I so often hear from other moms that having a second child ( 3rd in your case) is so stressful for so many reasons. A c-section is never fun, especially after what you described with your first experience. Secondly, you are leaving yout little guys at home. You just have a lot going on. Be gentle with yourself these next 2 days. Your life is about to change in a truly wonderful way. Try, if you can, to focus on that.
I am a postpartum doula. Here is a link to what I do. http://www.dona.org/mothers/what_doula_will_do.php
I am a member of DONA (Doulas of North America) www.dona.org. I am also a member of Birthlink www.birthlink.com/and NEIDA (Northeastern Illinois Doula Association) www.neidadoula.org.

If you find, once your help leaves or you are alone and you need help, please call me or email me. I am happy to be of help to you and your family.

All the best
P. L. CD(DONA)
Labor Support and Postpartum Doula
Member of Birthlink and NEIDA
Serving the North Shore and Chicagoland area
____@____.com
###-###-####

i did it and survived!
i had twins my first time too and i was so scared then, it was a painful recovery , then this year in june i had my second c section , my girls were 2 1/2 at the time , i was so scared because we had just moved out here and i didnt know anyone , my mom came up for a week to help take care of my girls and the house , and than my husbands mom came the next week for a few days. my second time around was a much better experience than the first , i was holding and breastfeeding the baby within the first 5 hrs after delivery , i barely used the morphine drip , and went home 48hrs after delivery! i live on the third floor and made it up the steps slowly , my recovery(for me to take care of the kids and walking and whatnot) with this one took about 2 weeks , my scar healed nice and fast , i was up and back to normal at 3 weeks- it didnt even feel like i had the c section!
so i wish you best of luck! and a fast and easy recovery!!!

You don't say what your first was, but scheduled c-sections are generally much easier to recover from than unscheduled ones. True emergency c-sections are very rare.

Have you been able to discuss your pain control with your doctor? There are many options available and you have a right to have your pain controlled. Do not hesitate to demand better pain control following your surgery- it will help with your healing and make the time so much happier for you.

Ask your nurse to show you how to splint your abdomen with a pillow when you are moving or coughing. Use a pillow to support the baby when you are breastfeeding (if you choose to). A binder on your belly (you can get one from the hospital) will help with pain and movement. Take stool softeners! Drink plenty of water. Rest!

Lastly, if you are this concerned about the c-section have you considered all your options in terms of v-bac? Obviously you have to weigh the risks of repeat c-section with v-bac but perhaps at least a trial of labor would be an option for you?

Good luck and congratulations!

Just wanted to add some VBAC info since that seems to be a hot topic. Routine repeat c-sections are actually not recomended by the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, World Health Organization, or the Center for Disease Control. There is a risk of uterine rupture, .04%, slightly higher than the risk of rupture in a woman who hasn't had a previous c-section. Many doctors perform repeat c-sections out of pressure from insurance companies due to fear of litigation (women rarely sue for unnecesarry c-sections). C-sections also carry risks for mom and baby as well as risks for future pregnancies, so don't make a decision without weighing both sides. Here is some info:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/cesareansection.html

Good luck whatever you choose!