2Yo Suddenly Terrified at Night

I would just let him sleep with you. It won't last forever, you'll get more sleep and you'll be teaching him the most important thing of all - Mommy is always there, even in the middle of the night.

Yes. To a great extent you do have to ride this out.

Please don't treat this as a matter for discipline. That may come up in some replies here. He is terrified and far too young to control or understand his fears, and your reassurances are great but he can't internalize them yet (and won't for some years to come). He can't tell himself "It's OK, it was just a dream" or "Mommy says it's OK so it is." He cannot self-soothe after a bad dream yet. This isn't to be confused with infants self-soothing themselves into normal sleep -- this is a toddler shocked awake and he has no idea why; he only knows he is scared.

Some parents would see this as a matter for discipline, as if the child is somehow manipulating his way into your bed, or trying to get more attention, but it's just not so from what you describe.

Regarding the idea of letting his sister, but not him, into your bed: Please don't give his sister the "reward" of sleeping with you while he is left in their bedroom alone. Doing so would set him up for two things: Resenting his sister, and knowing that mommy and daddy do not comfort him when he is afraid. He is not waking up terrified just so he can manipulate you; he's not plotting it - he is fast asleep before this happens.

Have you tried sitting next to his bed with your hand on his arm or leg until he falls asleep? You mention sitting by him, but do you leave while he's still awake out of concern that "He will learn the bad habit of needing us there to fall asleep if we stay"? This is one case where -- and some parents are going to say no way, but it worked for us -- I would stay with a hand gently ON him until he is asleep again. You will not be doing it forever; he won't be in high school and still needing this, and it won't "spoil" him so he cannot ever go back to bed without you again.

Or, for now, take him into your bed. He truly cannot control the frenzy and, as you might have found already, sometimes comforting a kid this age who is in any frenzy (of nighttime terrors, or tantrums by day) can make the frenzy worse -- they don't want to be told "It's fine!" but only want to be removed from where they were scared, and to have you physically there. Verbal may not matter at all but physical presence may be everything to him in the throes of terror he can't explain. If your husband is against bringing him into bed, please ask your husband to realize that, developmentally, there is nothing wrong with doing so. This is a phase and will pass. If he gets used to coming to your room and later does it when he's not having night terrors, you deal with that then: You silently and firmly walk him back to bed. But that's IF it happens, and not now.

Night terrors, beyond his control, have to ride it out. They're nightmares and sometimes they don't wake up all the way. It's horrible. It usually doesn't last too long, but it can be on and off for a few months.

We skipped the toddler bed and got a twin mattress. Made it a LOT easier for mommy to lie with kiddo. Don't know if that's an option, but it makes it easier for the adults for sure!

It's a common stage.
Their imaginations are going full tilt all day and that doesn't stop during the night.
Their sleep patterns are not like adults and night terrors and sleep walking are common - most do out grow this eventually.
Be patient and ride it out.

Start the night with him in your bed, where he feels safe. See if he still wakes up in the middle of the night. My youngest is down to getting in bed with me maybe 1 night a week and usually just at around 5 in the morning for extra snuggles. I am starting to miss snuggling with him at night! It goes by fast- why not just let him sleep with you? I know some people are violently opposed to co-sleeping, but we wound up doing it by accident, just because it made the most sense. Everyone slept better.

I could be something he is going through, it could be he figured out this is a good way to sleep in your bed. I don't think it is night terrors because he is aware you are there.

I don't know if this will work but have you considered letting your four year old sleep with you when he wakes up screaming? Like you come in to comfort him but tell her to go in your bed until he is back asleep. That way he knows upfront he isn't getting the reward, his sister that is being good is getting the prime real estate. If that doesn't work it shows he isn't doing it for bed space and you can move on to figuring out what is going on.

At least for me the hardest thing was figuring out am I being manipulated or do we have an issue here.

Hey Mel, I didn't say leave him there to cry! I said send her into their room. One, she shouldn't have to be kept awake while they try to comfort him. Two if they have the time to work through it without worrying about keeping her awake they will be more able to deal with his needs. I have had kids share rooms, it is frustrating because on one hand you want to figure out what is upsetting the one child, on the other hand you have to consider your other child needs sleep. Exactly how many kids do you have that you feel you should dismiss my advice? How exactly should they relax while laying next to him with their hand on their arm when all that is running through their head is I got to get him to sleep he is waking up his sister?

Perhaps your inexperience in this makes you not understand that you cannot get a child to relax and go to sleep when you can't relax yourself. They sense when you are stressed. Why do you think it is so easy to get him to sleep in their bed? So solve the problem of the other child not being able to sleep through this since that is easy, then mom can relax and get the other child to sleep.

But what do I know, I only raised four kids.

Why is everyone calling this a night terror? The OP didn't call it one, what she is describing is not a night terror. Kind of confused here.

If memory serves i think this might be the age when night terrors start happening. We went thru that with my DS, he is now 5 years old and grew out of it but i cannot remember if it started at 2 or 3. they do outgrow it and if this is what he is experiencing, not much you can do about it other than let it run its course. Good luck!

ps. when my son woke up screaming, we had to comfort him and lay in his bed until he went back to sleep. Can be a trying time, so have patience. Hugs.

Both of my boys went through the "scary monster," waking up terrified, "I'm afraid of the dark, mommy" not wanting to go back to sleep phase.

We did not leave the door open. Did not leave a light on. Did not give "monster spray." Did not plug in nightlights. Did not bring them to bed with us. I paid it little attention, really offered it bored indifference....and it quickly went away. When one awoke frightened, I quietly led him back to bed, tucked him in with his stuffed doggy, and said "You're okay, go back to sleep. Give doggy a hug and kiss. He was a little scared, but he's glad you're here to hold him when he has a bad dream and to tell him dreams aren't real."