3 1/2 Year Old PICKY EATER

He's being picky because #1, you give him what he wants when he puts up enough of a fuss, and #2, it is something in his little 3 1/2 year old life that he has TOTAL CONTROL OVER. stop fighting him. fix dinner, and if he eats it, great. if not, no biggie. take the fight out of it, take the "win" out of it for him. fix healthy meals and when he gets hungry, he will eat them. ESPECIALLY if you don't make a big deal out of it. HE WILL NOT STARVE. i promise!

PS, if you "camoflauge" healthy foods, what will he learn? not to eat healthy, and not to try new foods. so it really doesn't solve anything.

This is so the norm at this age....and sometimes beyond. Kids taste buds are very different than adults and so things that may taste really good to us may not to a child. Your son's pediatrician will tell you so long as he remains healthy and is not losing weight do not concern yourself, he'll grow out of it. But until that day comes I would suggest two things. The first is to employ his help when making family meals; kids are more apt to eat if they've had a hand in the preparation. Then would try camouflaging the foods you want him to eat in foods you know he likes. For example; if he likes quesadillas, then add pork, fish or chicken along with some fresh julienne spinach. If its cheeseburgers then substitute the beef with chicken or a portabella mushroom. If it's nuggets then cut your meat into nuggets or strips, dip in egg and coat in crushed ritz crackers & bake.

I have picky eater too. He's now 8 yrs old and swears he doesn't eat fish, mushrooms, carrots, the list goes on.....if he only knew ;-)

Good Luck!!!
GMGB!!!

He doesn't sound all that unusual for a 3 1/2 year old to me. I'd pay attention to the foods he likes -- does he like his food cold, hot, room temperature? crunchy foods (apples)? soft creamy foods (yogurt), salty vs sweet? (sounds like your son likes salty.)

My son would eat new foods if I put them on the seat next to him in the car.
My son is sometimes overwhelmed if there is too much food on this plate. Giving him small portions to start with helps him.

Going to restaurants with all you can eat buffets is a good way to experiment with new foods (Fresh Choice).

I would agree with the allergy testing, we had our oldest tested and turns out she was allergic to all kinds of foods that we had no idea about. I worked for a Pediatrician once who would always say about the parents who said their kids would only eat chicken nuggets ect, that is was because the parents keep giving in and giving them chicken nuggets. I don't think you can force a child to eat something, but if you don't give in eventually they will eat what you give them. My son is very picky and he picks what he wants for breakfast and lunch (with in reason), but we all have the same thing for dinner. I am not about to start cooking separate meals for all of my kids. If they choose not to eat dinner, that's fine, but there is no desert and no other food for the rest of the night. If they complain of being hungry later I will reheat the meal that they refused to eat earlier.

My daughter is somewhat similar, not quite to that extreme, but for breakfast and lunch she basically gets to choose what she wants...and it's pretty much exactly the same every day. For dinner, I get to choose what we eat as a family and she has the option of eating it or not. I always try and include something I know she'll eat, like carrots, peas, whatever, and then other stuff that we want. I also make other pre-made foods like yogurt, applesauce and cheese sticks always available as a supplement if she wants. At first she wouldn't eat anything. I didn't make a big deal of it and just let her eat or not eat and that was the end of it...I also told her she wasn't getting a snack, but we eat dinner really late so that works for us. Anyway, now she will try at least one bite of everything and she will even eat meat, which she didn't really used to eat. She even eats salad now. I think part of it is the fact that I really try not to stress about what she eats or doesn't eat and the fact that she sees us eating all these foods every day so it makes it more comfortable for her. I would suggest start something like that if you can so that you stop the arguing and leave it up to him. He's old enough to understand, and yes they need to eat, which is why I compromise, but in the end, you can't go on forever making chicken nuggets! ;) Hang in there, food battles are hard!

Hi T.,

Please try and look at the eating habits of your son thru a new prespective.
He is just a little kid, you are the parent and you set the tone for his behavior day to day, by how you react to him. Relax and dont stress over this. His behavior is NORMAL for his age.

His taste buds are growing and he is just learning to assert himself. Try and offer him small portions, variety of fruits/veggies/grains/protein etc, when/ if he is hungry, he will eat, if not please don't make a fuss/issue. Give him two choices at a time, For example Would you like oranges or grapes today? If he says no to both, that's OK. Stick to it and try 2 more choices at next meal/snack time. Keep your cool and ask calmly.

New foods sometimes need to be introduced to children multiple times before they determine if they like them. Please limit the number of new foods you introduce each week, then try them again a month later.

If he tries GREAT, if he doesn't, may be he will try some other time.

Please don't force food on him and make it a POWER struggle.

Make meal times relaxed and enjoyable =)

God Bless

NP

My son has been picky since he started solids at 6 months old.
But, all along, he has had no problems growing, is healthy, tall and lean and always in the upper percentiles for growth.

I feed him what he will eat. I show him other foods. But I don't force.
All on his own, as he has gotten older, he has expanded his palate. He now eats more things. On his own.
He knows what he likes or does not.
He is healthy.
He does not have eating hang-ups nor does he eat out of emotions or boredom.
We don't feed him junk.
He knows what junk is.
He is also a 'grazer.' Does not eat a ton per sitting. I don't expect him to.
I rather him go by his body's cues for hunger and fullness.
As soon as he is full, he says "I am full. All done."
When he is hungry, he says so.
That is good. He knows his body.

I am happy with that.

I don't use food as a reward or punishment either. Nor do I expect him to eat to please me. That would be 'emotional' eating. Which is not good.

I just cook what I cook. But I know that from what I cook, there will be something he will eat.
Again, I don't expect him to eat like me. But to eat and once he is full, that's fine.

There is also something called "Food Neophobia."
Here is a link on it, per ABC news:
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Recipes/extremely-picky-e...

For me, I don't make it a big deal, to my son.
But I praise him when he does try something different.
He now likes artichokes, for example.
Never did before.

For me, what I have seen with my son, is that he has on HIS own, expanded his palate. And when he is hitting growth-spurts, he eats a ton and very varied.

But even with his picky-ness, he is very healthy and really grows like a weed. So I don't worry about his picky eating. Nor does his Pediatrician.

Food phases, occurs.
Even adults have that.

If he has been throwing up since he was a small baby, that leads me to believe this is not just bad behavior. It sounds like maybe he has an aversion to certain ingredients, or a sensory issue. You could have him tested for food allergies.
Try sneaking things into his favorites - put some grilled chicken in his quesadilla, shred yellow bell peppers into the cheese on his pizza, mix vegetables into his hamburger meat. While you are doing that for nutritional value, also put ONE piece of lettuce on his plate, or ONE baby carrot. Don't let it touch his other food, and don't talk about it. He may try it after enough times of seeing it sitting there. My son's first preschool would put three peas on each child's plate and not mention anything about them, and MOST of the kids would eat those three peas and then ask for more - including my son, who REFUSED to eat peas at home!
Also, don't give him milk before he eats. It has a hormone in it that supresses hunger, we used to insist that half the food on the plate disappear before milk was served (water was ok though).
I also had a friend who tried tough love with food per my suggestion (just keep giving his plate back to him for each meal and eventually he'll eat it). He went over 24 hours without eating, and she soon learned that he had ulcers in his stomach!
When it is clear a child is just being picky, I say be calm but firm on the issue. But it sounds like your son has more going on than that - get all physical problems ruled out first!