Hi K.,
First off, call your OB-GYN right now, about all three issues, but especially the water retention.
I had the same problem with the water retention after the c-section, which mine had to do with the Foley catheter. My Foley wasn't draining properly causing my bladder not to empty, and thereby causing water retention. After the Foley was removed (24-hours after the c-section), I remained bloated for a couple of weeks. I just made sure to keep moving (circle my feet around, move my legs as best I could, walk, and sit up)and to elevate my feet.
The way you describe your calves and hands, you sound just like I did. Also check out: http://tiny.cc/2CfxT for other mother's bouts of water retention after c-sections. I also found this helpful site which states, "It is normal to see an increase in swelling in your legs during the first week or longer after delivery. The body cannot quickly remove the extra fluids of pregnancy so it is temporarily stored in the tissues. As your body works to eliminate the extra fluids of pregnancy, you may notice an increase in perspiration, urination, and, ultimately, swelling. Elevate legs, avoid canned foods, and avoid adding extra salt to you meals." You can read the rest at http://tiny.cc/Idyzm.
Have you talked with your doctor about why you are retaining so much? I would address the issue with your OB-GYN as soon as possible. Please let me know what the OB-GYN has to say about it, okay?
We moved 2 months prior to our daughter being born, so I understand the adjustment issue. Relocating is tough! Additionally, I am estranged from my Mother, which is terribly hard and sad... so I can sympathize with your loss during a time which you want to share so badly with her. Just know that she is with you, and keep a happy heart for your girls. When you speak with your OB-GYN, I would mention the baby blue as well as the water retention and engorgement.
Are you breastfeeding? Sounds like you don't want to as you asked how to 'stop' the lactation. I would pump small amounts to decrease the pressure just enough to make you comfortable, and day by day your breasts should stop producing as much. Additionally, warm compresses help immensely.
I am so sorry that you feel so terribly... just remember, "This too shall pass". So, try to keep focused on the 3 blessings you have in your life, keep focused on the innocence of your newborn & how much your newborn needs you to be strong right now, and keep focused on how you ARE going to feel better. One thing that will help immediately is to get outside, breath in the fresh air, and be in the sunshine... even if for only 15 minutes.
Please let me know how you are doing. Keep a smile on your face...
Hugs,
D.