3 Month Old - Largo,FL

Time to let him cry...Iknow that sounds bad but it worked for both my girls. and my first was fliped so imagun the screams....
But after 3 or 4 nights they calm down and then go to bed with ease. Yfiest now knows its bed time and i have no prolbems with her, and my 5 month old only crys 15 minutes at the most.
but you have to make a schedule and stick to it.
good luck!!

Have you tried keeping the baby awake in the evening rather than having a nap. A bath sometimes helps keep the baby awake. I sympathize. My son was a 1 1/2 yrs old before I realized the sleep deprivation was making me really ill. I have never heard of a baby dying from crying. A little extra cry time may be worth a try. Also, I some gas drops may help. Sometimes that kept my daughter up and the drops helped tremendously. I do wish you and baby the best. Blessings, C.

My daughter was pretty much the same way. Most everyone talks about how their child sleeps throught the night around 3 months & I was wondering when that would kick in. Some children are different. When I started asking other mothers, many of them said their babies still woke 1-2 times in the middle of the night. It took close to a year for the frequency of waking times to decrease and about 13-14 months until she was sleeping through the night (~7-8 hrs). It was very rough, I became very robotic & started bringing her to bed half asleep. Co-sleeping in the middle of the night & nursing definitely helped. I (along with other mothers) found that it is very important for the baby to take routine naps during the day. Some advise to skip or shorten the naps, but this leaves the baby overly tired & makes it harder for them to sleep. All I can say is hang in there & that it's not uncommon. Good luck!

C., I have a 4 month old myself,and she has also been waking up about 1 or 2x per night and it is getting old! If I were you I would try to keep your son up as much as possible during the day...it just sounds like he has his days & nights switched around. Whenever my daughter is up most of the day, or takes maybe one nap, she sleeps great that night. Or even try putting him to bed later than you already do, so his nights start later, and therefore he will wake up later. You can also try to add some rice/cereal to his last bottle at night to give him a full belly. I'm not sure what you have tried already, but I hope this works for you!
Good luck!
J. W

I know this isn't recommended by some doctors, but I was wanting my child to sleep through the night and he kept waking up for a bottle at every hour, so what I did was put a little rice in his bottle before he went to bed. Just a little not a lot because it might make him constipated. I did it for about a week straight and he started sleeping through the night. I did stop putting rice in his bottle, but it worked. He is now teething so He is waking up a little bit more, so I am dealing with that. Good Luck.

I remember that stage!!! Sleep depravation is tough. My doctor's advise to me at that stage was move to a faster nipple on the bottle (if you are formula feeding) so the baby's tummy is full for the night and then when he moves or cries, let him for a little bit. He suggested that I was the one waking the baby up!! It is natural for them to wake a lot or move and maybe cry a little, let him get back to sleep. Don't pick him up or soothe him. This worked. He never did cry for long. Doc was right!!
Hope this helps and good luck.

HI C.. I empathize with you. My 13 month old didn't sleep through the night until 9 MONTHS!!! If we knew he'd eaten enough and was safe in his crib, we would let him cry for a few minutes. If he didn't stop, we'd go in and put our hand on his tummy to let him know we were there and spoke softly, telling him it was OK and to go back to sleep. Then we would leave and wait a few more minutes. It took awhile and we usually ended up getting him up to rock or nurse, but eventually he learned to self soothe and went back to sleep. Does your little one use a pacifier? That may help with the self soothing as well.

One thing that did help him wake up less, though, was giving him oatmeal before bed. We spoon-fed it because I've talked to several moms who said oatmeal in the bottle makes it harder later on to train on spoon-feeding. Of course you will need to wait until he is 4 months old to start food, but it is something to keep in mind.

Best of luck!
M.

Are you breastfeeding? If you are this normal. Formula digests slower so formula fed babies wake less often. I would definitly NOT suggest letting him cry. Babies at this age cry because they NEED something. The AAP states that children should be fed during the night for at the least the first 6 months.
My 2 month old and my 2 year old sleep inthe same room and bed as me. This is what I do: I put my 2 year old to bed at 7, thrn keep my 2 month old out with me until I go to bed at 11pm. She sleeps during this time. Usually when one wakes the other is not disturbed if I attend to the child in need quickly. Also, try a sound buffer in your room, like a box fan.

every child is different.....some u'll just have to give them time or thats just the way they are. Ethan seems to like being close to u and hear ur heart beat and the warmth of ur body. U could try to simulate that with a clock that ticks loud and a heating pad on LOW under several blankets so he it's not directly on him. Or find a cd that has the sounds of a hearbeat. But it could be he is that way and u'll have to weather the storm. Good luck seetie hope u find something that works. Ask ur ped if he can suggest a herb that is safe and will help him relax....love u xoxoxxoxoxoxoxo Mommy

Hi C.! We were so sleep deprived when my son was an infant, that we had to seek counseling to keep from getting divorced!! Our counselor was the author of "The Family Bed," and advocates allowing your infant to sleep in bed with you. I know it sounds crazy and a lot of people say, "I could never sleep with an baby in the bed," or "what if I roll over on him and crush him??" Let me assure you........it works! It saved our marriage and our relationship with our son! The key is to put the baby to sleep in his crib at night. The first time he wakes up, go get him and bring him back to your bed. If you're nursing, nurse him in your bed. With the warmth and security of your body next to his, he will usually fall back to sleep in no time, and will rarely wake up again. I was so afraid that if I did this, he would still be sleeping with us when he was in middle school!! Fortunately, just like the counselor said, he went to sleep one night in his crib and never woke up for me to get him. I woke up in the morning alone in my bed and panicked, of course, but he was sleeping like a baby (whoever thought that saying up??) in his crib! I don't even know if that book is still in print (my BABY is 15 now--and sleeps all night and until noon the next day!!) It's funny, C....we spend the first half of their childhood trying to get them to go to sleep and the second half trying to get them to wake up!! Don't get discouraged--it does get better!

Hi C.,

For me, it was always about routine, routine, routine. I also really got a lot out of the book, "On Becoming Babywise" and that helped me get my girl on a schedule and had her sleeping through the night at 10 weeks, even though she was breastfed. Until you get him on a schedule, I would not recommend just letting him cry... at such a young age, you need to establish trust first, so that he knows that if something is really wrong and he cries, you will come and help him. He's too young to just be crying for no reason. Is it quiet in your living room where his bassinet is? I can also highly recommend a noise machine to help cut out other distraction noises.

Hope this helps!
K.

I am not sure who you know, but most babies do not sleep through the night at 4 months. My daughter didn't sleep through until 9 months! She was up every 3-4 hours a night. All abies are different and some take longer to sleep then others, but it will happen. We tried almost every suggestion we got and nothing worked, she just wasn't ready. Hang in there, he will get better, even if it's slow.

Have you tried a family bed? My 1 1/2 month old wakes up 1-2 times during the night, but it's easy to get her back to sleep because I don't have to get out of bed, I can just breastfeed her there and go back to sleep. Plus because I'm right there I usually catch her waking up before she even starts crying.

Hi there,

I think Erica's tips are right-on. When my daughter was 3-4 months, I was able to stop her waking by immediately nursing/rocking her when she first stirred. IMHO she was too little to learn to do this on her own. Now she's 16 mos and resettles herself most of the time (unless sick or teething). We did not do crying it out - we were able to do this by using a family bed.

This was my life for two years with my middle child. She would cry - not a baby cry but a gut wrenching wail - for HOURS. Until she was hoarse. Nothing would soothe her. Medical advice was to let her "cry it out". My inner-mama KNEW that something was wrong. But I had no resources.

That said, sleeping through the night isn't the be all, end all. If everyone is getting enough sleep, it doesn't matter if it's all at night (just yet).

If your mood is suffering, make sure you are still taking your prenatal vitamins. Make sure you are getting adequate nutrition. If YOU aren't at your best, it makes it that much harder to cope. Post-partum depression IS a valid diagnosis for the first 12 months.

I highly recommend "Sleepless In America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I recently finished reading "Raising Your Spirited Child" by the same author and it really opened my eyes - especially the chapter on sleep (or lack thereof) - to the issues we had previously had.

I really feel for you. My first child slept through the night by 8 weeks. And has ALWAYS been an excellent sleeper except around 18-24 months when she developed "night terrors".

If you can't get a copy of "Sleepless In America", try to grab a copy of "Raising Your Spirited Child" and read the chapter on sleep. There could be a variety of reasons why your infant won't sleep. They could be too hot, too cold, to constricted, not constricted enough, maybe there's a random noise that is awakening them. If your infant is as sensitive to EVERYTHING as my middle child is, it could be the hum of the refrigerator. For TWO YEARS, we couldn't flush the toilet after she went to bed because the flush would wake her up.

I would try to get him into a good night time routine. Maybe around seven or eight give him a bath, read a story, and put him down to bed. Try to find something that he can become used to so he understands that this is the time he is expected to sleep for the night. Also, try to be consistent in his feeding times. If he wakes up to feed at 2am, then only feed him at that time. When my son was that age, we would only feed him once through the night. Any other time he woke, we would simply lay him back down and rub his back to soothe him. We avoided eye contact, didn't pick him up, and didn't talk to him. This way, we felt comfortable knowing that we were not simply letting him cry himself back to sleep, but we also were not giving him extra attention. For your 2 year old, I would consider a noise machine in the room. It produces a white noise so that he will still be able to sleep when his brother wakes up. I have heard that these are great for siblings sharing a room. Hope things work out for you.
P.S. If you are starting to feel depressed, I would not hesitate to speak with a professional. Your personal and mental health is nothing to be overlooked.

I found that cosleeping (putting the baby in my bed) gave me the best night's sleep. Babies get cold and lonely, and they wake up in the night just like we do. If they're snuggled next to you, then they typically either fall right back to sleep, or else they want to nurse. Nursing can be done while laying down. Or if you're bottlefeeding, you can get up, get the bottle, and bottlefeed while laying down, then just go back to sleep! I never changed diapers at night unless they pooped, but I was blessed with babies that didn't poop at night very often, LOL.

If you do cosleep, make sure you do it safely: no comforters or pillows near baby, make sure he can't slip down between the bed and the wall (or off of the bed at all!), and for little babies, not between you and your husband, but between you and a guard rail.

I would not advise letting him cry. Your job is to respond to you baby when he needs you, and it being nighttime does not negate that responsibility... he needs to know that you'll always be there for him, not just when the sun shines! :)

At 3 months a baby can sleep through the night, but with many it takes some "training." I hear there are some babies that start sleeping on their own without any work on the parents side, but I sure didn't get one (or knwo of any)! LOL
Routine, routine, routine, routine. Both with feeding and sleeping will get your child to sleep through the night. There a re a bazillion methods out there as far as Crying it out vs more gentle approaches--all which work if you follow the plan, you just need to find one that you can do and then stick to it.
We used the Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg
http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Comm...
which is a more middle of the road approach vs doing the Ferber method which is just letting the baby Cry it out.

My other friends swears by Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep , Stay Asleep, And Wake Up Happy by Joanne Kenen
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1593153562/ref=s9_asin_t...
It seems similar and even more thorough than the Baby Whisperer (but actually wasn't out when my son was born)
Both tell you how to get your child on a good sleeping and eating routine while gently teaching you how to teach them to self soothe themselves to sleep (and back to sleep) that will in turn have him sleep through the night.

If you read either of those books and do what they say--you will see progress in a matter of days and your child sleeping through the night in a week or so.
This of course assumes there are no other issues, like illness, acid reflux, etc. But if you do these routines diligently and don't see results in a week or two, then you know to start checking for things such as acid reflux...
BTW we did this with our now 2 1/2 year old and he was sleeping through the night by 15 weeks and taking 3 naps a day...now at 2 1/2 he still sleeps 11 hours a night and takes one long nap with little resistance!
Good luck!

I also have a 3 month old. I nurse and she eats at 10:00 pm then at 2 am then up again at 6 am. I'm the mother of 8 and I think that you have to give it a little time not all babies are the same. Is he getting enough to eat at the last feeding and burping him good. Gas is a good cuplprit for crying fits. Also how much does he sleep during the day? He may have his nights and days confused which is very common.

Hi, my middle child and youngest share a room, they are 3 and 2. When he was a baby I went for a year without getting any sleep. I thought I was going to hurt someone I didnt know what to do. My two other kids, slept through the night no problem.
Once I got them into a room together, i had to just leave them to CIO, and got on a routine. I didnt let him sleep that long through the day, so he would be tired at night. Now I have no problem. Routine, Routine, Routine. Its hard in the beginning to find what works for you and your baby.

Well if you were to put the baby in it's own room you could put cork tiles on the walls. It is a natural sound insulator and it is fun for children to put up their pictures on. As for the sleeping part. Give your baby an extra large bottle before the intended bedtime. Wait until they are in a food induced coma and then put them in the crib. Swaddle them up tight and if they wake up go in and put the pacifier back in but don't pick them up. Everytime you pick them up you remind them that if they cry you will be there to entertain them.

There is a fisher-price product that we got that hooks onto the crib and plays 8 minutes of soothing music while projecting little birds on the ceiling. It seems to calm them down enough that they watch the birds and are comfortable and go to sleep. But that is what we have done. Also there is a great book called, "Twelve hours sleep by twelve weeks old" trust me you will want to fly to new york just to hug this woman. Good luck my dear, it will get better.

She's right. Don't listen to those people who say their newborns slept through the night at an early age- if they did it's one night here, 2 nights there, with some all night interruptions thrown in. People just want bragging rights so they can feel they accomplished something. My daughter is 5 months old. She sleeps through the night randomly still. Some nights it's 7 pm until 8:30 am with a 5 am feeding thrown in. Some nights I'm up 3 or 4 times and she's ready to rock at 6 am. I just never know. Even now it breaks my heart to hear her cry. But some nights I have to- she'll cry if she can't find her shwakey (paci.) If I keep going in she'll do it all night. I have to draw the line somewhere. Having an infant is tough. Make sure he's getting adequate rest during the day. After he's up for 2 hours- nap time. If he gets overtired his nap will be short and he'll wake up crying. Also, take him outside. The sunlight helps them sleep. Make sure he's getting enough to eat during the day. You probably know all of this, but I've been there and I really feel for you. Just keep trying- he won't be 3 months forever!!
P.S.- My depression was so bad I was hospitalized when my daughter was 9 weeks. If you need help GET IT!!! I've never felt better than I do now.

Dear C., I feel for you greatly. There is a lot of good advice in the 27 replies already. I whole-heartedly agree that each child is different, so you'll have to try new strategies until something works.
I'm not sure if you breastfeed or not. If you do breastfeed your baby may be sensitive to the foods you eat. Make a diary of what you eat and how your baby reacts. I've known moms that had to avoid almost all fruit and veggies as well as caffeine and sweets.
Likewise, if you're using a formula, try a soy-based formula.
DO read one of the suggested books on sleep. My son had night terrors and we didn't have a clue what was going on for more than a year.
Mostly, hang in there! It does get better!

Hey C.. I am reading this with empathy because I have one of those children who slept 6 hours straight from the day he got here, until...the earaches/infections set in and then...it was no sleep for days and no time for our marriage, etc. I have been depressed, ready to break...etc. I decided when my little one was born that I was going to let him
CIO, and he has all his life. I am OCD, so I live by my routines. They only way I could get him to sleep "through the night" at that age was to put him down at 11:30...I went to bathe and sleep, and we both got up again at 5:30. After he was about 7 months old I added an hour to the beginning of the schedule each month. Now, he sleeps from 7 to 5:30 or 6. We get up at that time anyway for work/daycare. On the weekend, I just keep him up later so he'll sleep until 7 or 8. CIO is not absurd for a 3 month old, just make sure he's clean and fed. I also began giving him rice cereal (two tsps) in his last feeding at 11. That helps it last a little longer.
Maybe that'll help. Now, at 16 months old, when he gets up, he doesn't whine for me...he just plays in the bed until I come in. It will get better, just hang in there.

My now 10 1/2 month old didn't sleep "through the night" (meaning 8 hours in a row) until he was at least 6 months. We nursed every 4 hours (when he woke up). I feel for you, knowing how very, very tiring it can be. I read the cry it out books, and for me I just couldn't do it. I ended up buying an "Amby" bed that is like a hammock so when the baby moves, he rocks himself back to sleep. (Mind you that didn't work every single night. I can count at least a dozen times when I slept on the floor under that hammock and bounced the thing myself, but it did help a great deal and I think "trained" him to know what a full-night's sleep felt like.) Best of luck to you and hang in there!

You need to track your normal day and see how often he sleeps during the day. Also make sure that he is getting enough to eat before bed. If he is falling asleep during the bedtime feeding find ways to wake him to make sure that he is getting enough to last him a couple of hours. Also make sure that his bedtime is not too early. If he goes to bed at 8 or 9 then it might too early. My 4 mo will only sleep between 5 and 6 hours at a time so she usually goes to bed at around 11 or 12 when my husband and I get to bed. I used to put her to sleep at the same time as my other two (2 and 5) but she was wide awake at 3 and 4 in the morning. This has worked much better. Good luck.

N. J

You do not CIO at 3 months old, so don't think about that. 3 months old is still really young! I would agree with the later bedtime, see if that helps. However, when my son was that age there were MANY mornings I tried everything to get him to go back to bed after that 4am feeding and nothing really worked. Mostly, you have to put you time in. Of course, routine, routine.
Also, I drove myself crazy with what my friends told me! Mine were telling me that theirs were sleeping by 8 weeks! They aren't really telling you the truth. "sleeping through the night" at that age is 5-6 hours if you are lucky. People also soon forget exactly what they went through at what age. My bet is that they are up as much as you are during phases, but they don't tell you that. Stop listening to them having perfect babies because I really doubt that is the case!

Hi C., It can be very exhausting having a young infant. Especially when everyone else seems to be getting a great night sleep but you. Most babies at this age do tend to wake frequently during the night, for various reasons. It is part of their own built in survival mechanism. Babies only have needs, their wants are their needs. They don't know how to manipulate and they are not trying to be difficult. Your little guy probably misses you very much during the night and is waking to be near you. Have you tried setting up a safe co-sleeping environment. Many moms find that they get more sleep with their little ones right next to them. If you are breastfeeding, you barely have to fully wake to care for them, and you can get back to sleep faster. It is important to set up a safe co-sleeping environment, to keep him safe. You will find lots of info on this online. Most babies around the world sleep next to their mothers, very safely. It may be a way for everyone to get more sleep. It is so hard to go without sleep. I remember being obsessed about getting some sleep. The good news is that he will only be this little and this needy for a short while, and months from now he will be more developed and able to self soothe. He is still very young. Letting a young infant cry it out, has been shown to increase their stress levels, burn needed calories and can interfere with good parental attachment. Elizabeth Pantley has a great book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Good luck and see if you can get a nap sometime during the day. Maybe someone could come and stay with your 2 year old, so you can take an nap with your baby. Take care.

You should run, not walk, to the nearest bookstore and buy the "No-Cry Sleep Solution." You can get your baby sleeping through the night without resorting to crying it out. The "cry it out" method is not supposed to be done with infants under 6 months old, anyway.

This book is amazing and it works. It's hard at first, but it's a whole lot easier than getting up 4-5 times a night!!

Also, hugs to you - it's so difficult trying to function on almost no sleep, I know!