3 Month Old Hates Being in the Car

Updated on July 08, 2008
J.S. asks from Los Altos, CA
9 answers

My 3 month-old little one is generally a happy camper. However, he absolutely hates being in the car. He cries and cries in the car and does not eventually fall asleep - his crying just escalates. The crying is usually worse at stops, so that I'm now conditioned to feel great anxiety when approaching stop signs, red lights, and bad traffic.

This is breaking my heart, and we dread going anywhere requiring car transportation (which is basically everywhere). I've tried white noise and it does not seem to have an effect. Unfortunately, I can't sit in the back with him because there's no room - I have a 4 year-old whose carseat is also in the back.

I don't think it's the carseat, because he's usually OK when we take him for walks in the carseat in the stroller. For reference, however, we have a new model top-of-the-line Graco Snugride.

I'm looking for any kind of advice or a light at the end of the tunnel!

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B.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Elena S. My son was a terrible traveller when he was an infant. He would scream for the entire trip if he wasn't asleep. We also put a mirror up which helped, but the clincher was when we put him facing forward. Although "experts" suggest keeping them back facing as long as possilbe, we switched my son as soon as it was possilbly safe (at the suggestion of my mother-in-law) and he's been a happy traveller ever since!

Have you thought of possibly setting up a portable DVD player on the back seats so he has something to watch when he's still facing backward? It can show anything from educational DVDs to home made DVDs of you and him so that he can watch himself. If I would have had one of those when my son was little, I would have tried it!!

Good luck!!

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N.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J., I really feel ya, we've had the same issue with our 2 kids. In fact, our 10 month old daughter still doesn't like long rides. I agree with playing the white noise loudly, and I mean LOUDLY. It won't hurt him, because what he was used to in your belly was much louder. Our daughter liked munching on a set of clean keys and we also used this toy called a rain stick that worked really well. Some friends who'd had the same problem found it at Gymboree. It has tons of colorful beads that make a rain sound each time you tip it. I always try to time the car rides around nap time for her, unless its a quick trip.
I hope it gets better!

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G.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
Both of my little ones hated their car seats and would scream as though dying when they were placed in the car. We discovered it was due to them not being able to see us, but only able to hear us. Once we were able to place them forward facing, the crying really resolved itself. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It was a little easier with our daughter because she was in the back with her brother, who would hold her fingers and talk to her. But with our first born son, we were at our wits end. We discovered that he would calm down when we played one of his toys that sang a song over and over. We had a 45 minute commute at one point when he was 4 months old, and let's just say it was torture. We tried everything short of taking him out of the carseat and holding him in our arms just to calm him down. But thankfully he grew out of it. Also you may want to consider that he may be experiencing motion sickness. We did not know until much later that the crying was the cause of my niece and nephew's unconsolable crying. Sorry this response is so long. Hopefully it gives you a glimmer of hope that you will survive this. Blessings.

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem when I started commuting 45 mins each way to/from work with my daugther when she was three months old. I thought I would go insane, and spent so much time pulling over, nursing, holding, or just crying myself! We had planned a roadtrip from LA to northern California (which I was dreading because of her crying) when she was 4 or 5 months old. Surprisingly, she was better in the car after spending an entire day in the car! She slept for most of the road trip, and seemed to get more comfortable with riding in a car after that. Still, until we were able to switch her to be forward facing, she'd have her bad days. Also, I tried to feed her just before our commute in hopes that she'd nap in the car, which worked about 50% of the time. Getting the back windows tinted would probably help, too. Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm so sorry J. that you are going through this. I had the same problem with my baby, and it made being a safe driver very difficult. One thing that helped a little bit was putting a mirror up so that he could see me. I tried other things that didn't work. There are things that you can buy and put up in front of him that have lights and music. Didn't work for us, but might work for you.

We also switched him to a infant/toddler car seat and that helped a lot. We bought the Britax, but there are lots out there.

I tried to minimize time in the car as much as possible and eventually he got used to being in there. Things got completely better at one year when I turned him to face forward. I was encouraged to keep him facing the rear as long as possible, but I found that I was a better driver when he was happy.

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D.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey J.- we had the same problem. I know you said you tried white noise but did you play it very loud? We bought a CD at the Pump Station called For Crying Out Loud (the vacuum cleaner track) and it worked wonders (still does). I too dreaded getting in the car but my son did outgrow the discomfort. I think maybe around 4 months. Good luck!

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B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

I went through the same thing with my two. They hated the car. It took about a month or two for them to get use to it. Play music or buy a kid friendly CD or just sing songs. Make sure you have a good sunshade on the window.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

childrens electric toothbrush... put it next to him until he could hold it. still loves his toothbrush at 9 mo. works 98% of the time for us!

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you ever thought that the car ride might make him feel dizzy, that it effects his equilibrium . When I bought a new suv, about a week into driving it I started feeliong this floating feeling when I would drive it , its like a dizzy feeling but some like floating, it was the shocks on the truck and it bounced to much. As soon as we changed them, it went away, but it took forever to fiquare it out. Tye driving really slow with him, see if he still crys, go circle your neighborhood really slow, try not to feed him then put him in the car maybe it upsets his tummy, if a baby is highly afraid you will know the cry, its a panic cry, listen to the sound of his cry, it might be helpful.

Good Luck !!

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