Okay so this is absolutely annoying my husband and I, my 3 year old son always whines he wants water at bedtime. He is constantly trying to use stall tactics like I have to go potty, I want water, I want another hug from Daddy etc. Well right now he is screaming and crying in his room, for about the last 10 minutes now. We do not want to give him water at bedtime because he is going through potty training, he still wears a diaper at bedtime and if we give him water at bedtime he has an exploding diaper in the morning. Do I just let him cry it out or give in and offer him water. I know when it comes time for him to wear underwear to bed if he has water at bedtime he will pee in his bed so we are trying to avoid the habit altogether. Any suggestions, his screaming is really getting on my last nerve and I wish he would just be quiet and go to sleep.
I will probably just give him a dixie cup with a couple of sips of water when he brushes his teeth. I do understand wanting water at bedtime, I wake up and get drinks during the night because my mouth dries out. I am not witholding it to be mean, I am doing it because he does not wake himself up yet during the night to pee. No he is not in diapers during the day, he has finally gotten the idea of peeing and pooping (90% of the time) in the big toilet. He even now goes pee and potty in public restrooms even though he is terrified of the automatic flushes in most places. Besides the fact that he does not wake up to pee at night, my husband put one of those door knob covers on the inside of his door because he woke up in the early morning one day and flooded our kitchen by playing in the sink (he moved a kitchen chair there so he could reach), he has also gone out in the garage or outside to play while we are still asleep so for his safety and our piece of mind for now he is essentially locked in his room until we get up which most days is right before or after he wakes up any way. Or he would go run to his baby brothers room and turn the light on and scream to wake up so we had to put a stop to this for now. Some of you may think it is mean, but it is what we feel we have to do and it is not like we leave him in there alone, he is only in there for sleeping and the door is open the rest of the day (unless he decides he wants to be in there and closes it so his brother cannot get in)...
My son is using the potty during the day, this is not a question about potty training. Yes my son is ready to potty train, I am well aware of potty training issues and I stopped trying until he was ready which has been almost two months now he has been using it during the day. He no longer has accidents (except maybe once a week if he gets really busy and I'm not on him every couple of hours). My son has unlimited access to milk and water throughout the day, he asks for it when he wants some. He is very vocal so I am not with holding liquids from him. I am also not forcing him to drink!
Girl! my son does the same thing!!! Dont give it too him! He's not gonna die if you dont give him water! and all it is is a reason to stall!!! let him cry!! he'll live!
Dear A.,
Oh you poor dear! I know exactly what you're going through!
I use the "Tooth Fairy" trick. Give a reward for staying quiet or skipping the water.
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They all do the stall tactics! :-D One thing that might work for you is get a small cup (dixie cup size) with something fun on it. Fill it up half way (so maybe 1 or 2 swallow fulls--that shouldn't be enough to make him wet the bed, but enough to wet his mouth...) and tell him that he gets to drink that before bed and that is it...and then stick with it. Just add it to your night time routine....maybe after brushing his teeth?? Give it to him before he asks so it doesn't look like you are giving in to him for asking and just say, "here's your special bedtime water" or something like that. Then when he asks for it, just say he already had his drink and tell him to go to bed--don't argue, just be matter-of-fact.
The other thing that our kids do is they've figured out that one parent does one thing and the other is a softy for something else (i.e. Daddy's a softy for water, Mommy's a softy for hugs, etc.) so when they ask for THAT parent, the other one goes in instead and tells them to go back to bed.
Each of our kids has tried something at one point or another for stall tactics, but we stick to our guns and they eventually realize that stalling doesn't work. We have a set routine every night and that helps...we just don't give them too many choices at bedtime and so there isn't much to add to the routine.
Hope that helps!
Hi, A. -
We're still going through this from time to time with our 4-1/2 year old. Don't know if it will work for you, but what I've found is that she doesn't really care how much water, she just wants it. Maybe try just putting a couple of swallows of water in a cup and seeing if that will satisfy him? I know it's frustrating. Good luck!
Offer him water at a certain time every night - say, two hours before bedtime. Then tell him no more water. At bedtime, make sure all possible requests are taken care of before he goes to bed (hug Daddy, etc.), then put him in bed. All requests should be quietly, but firmly denied. He will probably scream the first few nights, but it is definitely worth the training.
I'd give him a bit of water if he asks for it. We keep a cup with about 1 inch of water by my daughter's bed, that way getting up to get it cannot be a stall tactic.
With our son, a little over 3, he wanted to start sleeping in undies so we go potty just before bed and then we take him right before we go to bed (10 or 10:30). We did the same with our daughter and that eliminated nighttime accidents.
make the little drink of water the last thing before tucking in and tell him this is all he needs and explain why - all he really wants is time with you - read a story together, cuddle and have a little quiet talk for a few minutes - potty training and going to sleep alone (especially together) are hard for lots of kids - and parents - good luck
Yes, let him cry it out. You will only have to do this a couple of times before he figures out that he won't get what he wants by throwing a fit.
I saw somewhere (maybe Supernanny?) to make a couple colored cards and give them to your child at bedtime. When they yell for mommy or daddy go in there see what they need like one more hug and then take the card. When he runs out of cards, no more trips to the bedroom.
I completely agree with TD. Give him a little bit of water before he asks for it. All three of my girls went through this, and this solution worked for us. Be patient, it will take 5-7 days to work through the new plan.
You could add getting the water and putting t his bedside as part of the bedtime routine. Get the water, go potty, read a book, get hugs and lights out. Kids like routine and one on one attention more than anything. C.
Dear A., Don't forget that 3 years old is still a baby.
Does he have a night light? Does he have a music box?
Does he have his favorite animal and blankie? A drink of water is a ploy. He is probably afraid he will miss something if he has to go to bed. Maybe stop giving him fluids after dinner and then at bedtime just a few sips out of his sippy cup. A suggestion for the bed. Put an old shower curtain underneath the sheet but over the mattress. I used cloth diapers to save money. Buy some little boy underwear. Not anything that is a diaper but real whitey tighteys. Let him run around the house in those during the day and when he starts to pee run him to the bathroom and show him that big boys use the potty. If he doesn't have a mini toilet next to yours, get him one. But you don't have to let him cry himself into having a headache or his heart broken. With children as well as spouses you have to make a compromise.
Not in some cases but in most. He is normal and he is trying to manipulate you. You have to outsmart him. Without him knowing it. He will love his big boy underwear and not like getting them all wet. Once he sees that he is a big boy then he wont have to wear diapers.
Good Luck. Cloth diapers are green but I am pretty sure disposable diapers are biodegradable these days. Children are very smart and become aware
of their bodily functions. I think the pull-ups are a waste. Diapers then training pants. You can do it. Good Luck.
T. T.
P.S. Whatever our children are going through, well they are phases and they pass. Be patient.
Hi A.. My 3 year old does the same thing. I can't decide if he's doing it just to be annoying or because he's really thirsty. So what's worked for me is pulling out all the stops. Before bed we go potty, brush teeth do the story time and kisses and hugs and then I have a glass of water with hardly anything in it all ready to go and I give it to him before he even asks. This has seemed to satisfy him so far. Good luck!!
My boys just want the water to be there, and don't usually drink it. So I just got a couple of water bottles and leave them there - that way we're not drawing attention to them, but should they want it it's available.
I'd work to keep a consistent bedtime routine, so he knows when play time is over and it's time to be quiet and go to sleep. I know, always easier said then done :)
As a side note, some potty training gurus recommend giving MORE water at bed time so they feel the urge strongly to pee. For mine, that actually doesn't work, BUT if they've had a lot to drink and have an accident, they'll wake up after the fact, which is better then nothing in my book.
Good luck!
My 5 year old to this day wants water at bedtime. It is also the only time I give him a sippy cup. I fill less then half way of a small sippy cup of water for him at bed time. I also emphasize that once the water is gone for the night and that he should drink it slow.
The reason for the sippy is that they don't get as much out and they don't spill in there bed. The frist few days the water was gone every morning, but after a week there is almost always water left.
Good luck.
My son always insists on water at bedtime too, I dont remember when he started that but probably around the same as your son. He is 6yo now and he STILL *HAS* to have his water at bedtime. (we get to forget his water only maybe 2x a month if he is really really tired and conks out right away and has had a drink already before going to bed)
What we do is we get a bottle of water (with only 1-2 inches in there -- you may want to make sure your boy can screw the lid back on first before using this in his bedroom. Lid-screwing is a lifesaver when we are out and about in the car!!) or one of those plastic straw flip top things that are juice box sized, we find those at walmart or grocery stores, or flip-top soft straw insulated sippy cup (no "real" sippy cups here anymore!)
Just put a little bit in there. Or, if you are going to stick to your guns about no water in bed, then at least make sure he gets a little drink of water (ie, bathroom paper cup sized drinks) on his way to bed as part of the routine.
My son is the king of stalling too, so we just brush, potty, pray, story, hug, water, GOOD NIGHT! We leave a little lamp in his room on (night lights aren't good enough for him) then when we go to bed we turn it off. Or on the occasions he is crying he's scared (after having read a scary story - A Promise is a Promise has Quallipullits that scared the beejeebes out of him! Cute story but boy, he wasn't ready for it!) we allow him to spread his blanket and pillow on the floor in our room but the lights has to stay OFF.
I like TD's suggestion from Super Nanny to have a different colored card for each request he makes and when that's gone, that's done.
Another thing we did (that my parents also did) was put an hook and eye on the top of the bedroom door so that he/we could still see through the opening but he couldn't get out. Then once ALL his needs were met (potty, water, hug, song/story, cuddly animal etc) then hook the door. YES he will scream and cry and shake the door but after about a week, you wont have to do it anymore! And he stayed in his room real good for the next 2-3 years at bedtime, even when we were travelling. SO WORTH IT, even though it sounds and feels SO mean. I'd rather set a firm boundary than fight and be angry about it night after night.
And one last thing - maybe this will make your son's request for water seem not so bad - my son HAS to have COLD (as in ice cold) water! We just freeze an inch or so of water in the water bottles, or put icecubes in those plastic "juice box" type containers. That's another thought- his bottle will seem full but there's only a little bit of actually drinkable water before he falls asleep? and it is really nice to have cool water if you wake up in the middle of night for a sip, which I do sometimes. In fact, I have a friend whose husband built her a nightstand by her side of the bed that would hold a mini fridge so that she could have her cold water in the middle of the night! Not so weird to want water at bed.
Give him water, but maybe just a small amount of it and when it runs out, it runs out.
P.S. I cloth diaper too!
Tell him about an hour before bedtime that he can have his last drink of water and that is it for the night! IF he cries, let him. Just put him to bed and close the door. He's just trying to find excuses to not go to bed. If you give in, it will just take longer to break him of it. The crying will be annoying, but it will subside when he figures out it doesn't work. Good luck.
The drink of water before bed is exactly what worked with my son. One night after he brushed his teeth I asked if he wanted a small drink of water and that was that. Also I had a huge problem with him throw fits at night so on the suggestion from one of you ladies we went to the store and I let him pick out a poster board and I bought a cheap little ink pad and set of stamps. When we got home I hung the poster board up next to his bed and now every time he goes to bed without a fight he gets to put a stamp on the board in the morning.
A sip or two only should be a good compromise.
G.
