3 Year Old Daughter and Her Moods Changing So Fast?

Updated on September 09, 2010
S.T. asks from Kansas City, KS
9 answers

Just wondering if other people experience this and what you do? My 3 year old seems to be just fine and happy then in a blink of an eye has a major attitude and nasty she has started sleeping in her bed all night again which is a blessing but seems to wake up in a horrible mood even when she takes a nap she wakes up nasty I thought naps where suppose to help them not be so nasty and moody. She isn't a breakfast eater but I can't force her to eat and then she wants to snack all morning which I don't let her she gets one snack and I try to be healthy with our snacks. So I don't know what is going on with her please give me some insight if you have any! Thank You!

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

I agree--she is officially three years old!

Not taking it seriously is crucial. I do a lot better now with my son (second child!) than I did with my daughter, so I can say that laughing helps. Keep firm boundaries, but doing the unexpected helps a lot. I can take my son to bed laughing if I carry him by the ankles, but he'd throw a whole huge tantrum if I tried to do it normally. He still gets to bed on time.

Other tricks--let them "do it themselves" as much as possible. Give them "either or" choices if you really don't care. Both of these help with food. Do you want goldfish or pretzels? Okay, you can help me pour them in the bowl.

And try non-breakfast food in the morning. If she eats sandwiches, that's breakfast! I think breakfast is important, but they won't starve themselves. Just hold firm on the snacks.

Anytime you can use distraction or redirection to avoid a battle of wills, I would. Not bribery, but if you know they don't like to sit down to eat, see if you can get them to carry something to the table and sit before they realize that they meant to fight you!

Good luck! They do outgrow it :-)

4 moms found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes. This is a 3 yr old. It is both a blessing and a curse. They will change moods instantly but can also change back again just as miraculously. I did a lot of playful parenting -- lots of faces, funny voices, exaggerated antics. It saved me thousands of these episodes. (am not exaggerating)

There is a book by that nome "Playful Parenting" to get you started if it doesn't come naturally. Kids are kind critics with this stuff and just start, no matter how awkward. You'll get better with practice & so will she.

3 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

3 year olds, 4 year olds and older can change their moods at a flip of a switch... just wish I knew where that switch was so I can flip it back when she is grumpy :)

Food wise some kids are grazers, my daughter is like that in the morning, in the fridge I keep a small muffin tin of healthy snacks (when the tin is empty it is empty and she then has to wait for lunch). If she does not want what is in the tin then she is not really hungry (usually have apple slices or some kind of fruit, raisins, crackers, peanut butter or some kind of healthy dipping sauce, goldfish crackers or a healthy cereal, and veggies). In preschool she is so busy doing things in the morning it is never an issue and she does not ask for food (they do have a morning snack and she usually eats it all up).

With nap, is she waking up on her own or are you waking her up... I noticed that when I wake my daughter up is in worse a mood then if she woke up on her own. Sometimes it is just not possible for me to let her sleep as long as she wants because we have to do something or if she sleeps past 5pm she will not go to bed on time... it is like a double edge sword sometimes! Anyway maybe try to do the opposite; so if she wakes up on her own moody then maybe try to wake her up the next day at a certain time (might have to play with the time to see when she wakes up best) OR if possible, which it may or may not be possible, to let her sleep/nap till she wakes up on her own. If neither makes a difference trying different lengths of naps and different start/stop times... this may make a difference maybe not.

I usually ignore my daughter if she is in a nasty mood, or I tell her she has to play in her room till her mood improves. She will either stomp off and play in her room for an hour OR she will plaster a smile on her face and at least act nicer. Sometimes she just needs more time to wake up, and just like me I hate being talked to/bothered while waking up, so we have the rule that we need our space when waking up to just sit quietly, read a book or stay in the bedroom for a few minutes till we are ready to participate with the family nicely.

3 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter is three and she can turn on a dime as well. I would say to choose your battles. When it's time for her to get up from her nap, let her wake up slowly (maybe turn on a hall light or something). Don't expect her to wake up and be chipper.

With breakfast, maybe she's just not ready to eat first thing in the morning. I suggest letting her eat when she's hungry. IF she wants a snack, something like a granola bar, pb and jelly, etc can be disguised as a snack but can also serve as a late breakfast.

Choose your battles...that is what I've been learning with my daughter....but it is not easy so I feel your pain!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

This is typical.
LOVE Laurie A's response!
Har, har...
I ditto her.

Next, yes, this is a typical 3 year old, and a girl at that.
They do that.
OH and it does not stop, at 3 years old...

Just KNOW her cues... and her quirks... and navigate around that... AND teach her how to say things in a more palatable way... but not when they are having a hissy fit or are moody.

Also, when they do not eat or have anything in their tummy... moodiness can occur too. My girl is like that.

A good book is:
"Your 3 Year Old" from Amazon

all the best,
Susan

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

2 words...."three" and "girl". We have gone through it at "two", "three" and now "four". All I can suggest is to hang in there :-)

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T.F.

answers from San Diego on

I also agree with Laura A. My son (3y also)and I are not morning people either. I try to let my son wake up on his own and he will usually stay in bed for 10 to 15 mins after he wakes up. If he does not have this time he will be a totally bear if I just get him up. When I have to wake him up for something I have a timer that I set for 10mins he knows that when it goes off he has to get up.

I was just talking about mood swings with the moms form my playgroup today. All 5 of us said 3 was the worst age becasue of mood swings. So I guess it is just a phase. I hope that in doesn't last the entire year because my son jsut turned 3 two weeks ago and I am already over it. LOL!

Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Ah yes. 3. My son is 3. I fondly look back at 1 and 2 now that I have experienced 3. Girls aren't the only moody ones. My son is incredibly moody. He can be the sweetest most lovable boy one minute and then the next he's saying "Mommy quit talking! I'm trying to eat! You talk to much!" or whatever else that comes out based on the situation. He is horrible to be around in the morning. He wakes up and instantly starts crying or whining. I can't say I blame him--I'm a terrible morning person. I cannot touch him, talk to him or ask him if he needs to go potty or wants something to eat. He has to be completely left alone until he decides he wants something--be it attention or a drink, etc. With the breakfast thing--if she's not eating breakfast then I would definitely let her have more than one snack. Make sure her morning snacks are basically breakfast items--cereal, yogurt, fruit, mini bagel. Just call it a snack and she'll eat it. Good luck and hang in there. I'm hoping it's just a phase. I guess we'll both see! :)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Three is the new two. I found 3 much harder than 2. At 2, they have meltdowns and act out in frustration. At 3, it is all on purpose and they get crafty and dramatic.

I think your daughter is pretty normal. Just reinforce good behavior and nice speaking and provide clear consequences for the opposite and be consistent.

Don't just speak to her in the negative and tell her not to talk nasty, but tell her in the positive to speak in a calm and kind voice. Tell her when things hurt your feleings and try to encourage her empathy. Remind her you don't speak to her like that.

Frankly, I would force the issue of breakfast a bit. Offer it and let her reject it. But when she wants to snack later, sit her breakfast back on the table and tell her to eat it. Breakfast is a good habit, and while you can't force her to eat or to be hungry, i am don't think you can let her hold out for something better. I am suspicious that "snacks" are crackers and cookies versus a nutricious breakfast, maybe not, but don't fall into that trap. Constant snacking is bad in that it is a demand on you and on the schedule and is unhealthy if the snacks aren't nutricious.

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