3 Year Old Delayed?

I would get her evaluated through intervention in the county that you live in. If it is bucks the # is 1800-###-###-#### ask for Wendy to set up the initial screening.
Sounds to me like she is on the spectrum, but it's best to get her evaluated and go from there.

Good luck.

Have you ever gotten her evaluated for developmental delays/disorders? When children who are extremely bright, but have a hard time in social situations, it may be indicative of a disorder, which, with the proper teachings and early detection can be easily treated

I would seek advice from early intervention, I have worked with children over the last 20 years and I think you should go to them for help. There may be something there that you as a parent can not detect.

You should have her checked. My son was the same way and he has a mild form of Astuim

I am no expert, but it sounds similiar to autism.

My instinct was to suggest Autism...which I see that several people have suggested. Please look into that. You don't have to wait for you pediatrician, although certainly consulting with your pediatrician is helpful. But you can call up Early Intervention on your own and get your daughter evaluated.

Good luck!

Hi L.,

As a mom I try not to get too overly concerned about developmental quirks. That being said, as someone experienced in child development, I would waste NO time in having her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician (not the same as your medical pediatrician). Curious what your pediatrician has said??? Good luck!

You have a very smart little girl. She has figured out how to make you walk to her rythm instead of yours. Maybe leaving her with a sitter/dad would be a way to stop the stress on both of you. She maynot like the added input and be overloaded with to much information. See if you can time the shopping trips to when someone else can help out a bit. She is only little and needs to mature. Having 4 kids you should know they are all different and mature at different paces. Go back to basics with the potty training and backtrack for a bit. Re-enforce good behavior with praise and treats. She may need extra attention since being #4.

I am a mother of 6, 4 are grown and two in HS. I also have 5 3/4 grands.

L. I sent you a private post also

Here's the facts about autism---From Autism Speaks website

Facts about Autism

Did you know…
1 in 150 children is diagnosed with autism
1 in 94 boys is on the autism spectrum
67 children are diagnosed per day
A new case is diagnosed almost every 20 minutes
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes & cancer combined
Autism is the fastest-growing serious developmental disability in the U.S.
Autism costs the nation over $90 billion per year, a figure expected to double in the next decade
Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of many less prevalent childhood diseases
Boys are four times more likely than girls to have autism
There is no medical detection or cure for autism

She may have sensory problems wich may be why she is freaking out at the store. I would take ehr to ehr ped and get ehr to a neurologist. She may ahve Autism Spectrium Disorder. People with Aspergers Syndromeare are VERY intelligent and often with be great in one area, such as math or fixate on trains or soemthing particular that they love. Some drs will not pay attention to you so you may need to be firm and make sure you get your child to a neurologist. My child's ped blew me off as an anxies mom and told me she would catch up. My daughter was later diagnosed as PDD-NOS and has ADHD. So do not let them ignore you. If you feel soemthing is wrong with your child get ehr to who can tell you for sure if she is delayed or not and why.

Joanna

I would say to talk to her doctor as well. Wait to see what they say, don't settle on a diagnosis until you see a professional. I have done that before and caused myself unnecessary stress.

With the potty training, it would certainly bother me as well too. My oldest daughter didn't like to be praised, or didn't like having everyone know that she went potty. Whenever I did tell her father or grandparents, she stopped going on the potty. Once I let it alone and didn't make too big a deal out of it she started up again, and has been trained since.

My youngest daughter also is similar in the sense that she is very unsocial with people that she does not know. She doesn't want to play with other kids at the playground, only those that she knows. I have an appointment scheduled to evaluate her for speech therapy and I'm going to bring that up at her appointment as well.

I guess in the end my point is that my children act/have acted similar to your daughter at one point or another. See the doctor before you get yourself overwhelmed with the "could be's". Best of luck to you.

My son had similar traits (stopped potty training, wouldn't engage in conversation but a whiz at difficult puzzles and games). We had him evaluated at the Chester County Intermediate Unit (the doctor referred us). They came to the house and tested him for a variety of things - speech, following direction, fine and gross motor skills etc. It might be worth having them run an evaluation (at least you'll no what's not happening and they may give you some strategies to better work with her. They weren't sure of my son's status but he tested low enough to get services. A therapist and teacher came out to work with him before he turned 3 and now he is in a special preschool run by the CCIU. He is doing great there and the services are all free.
I also got a book called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It might be helpful.
Good luck.

Good morning L.,

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this before but Emily's behavior is practically a textbook explanation of autistic behavior. Have you considered the possibility?

My best friends 15 year old sister lives with autism and the signs began when she was 3 and regressed with her potty training skills. Emily's behavior is word for word Rhiannon's situation. She does not communicate often with others, seems cold and distant but then throws incredible tantrums which no one can calm her from. She also has an incredible mind, retains anything and everything that she has heard or seen only once and will blow you away with some of the things she can repeat to you.

Autism is just my hunch, I suggest you look into the possibility.

Either way, good luck with Emily. I'm sure you must want to pull your hair out!

I would tell your ped about all this and have them refer you to early intervention services so they can evaluate her. She is showing alot of signs of being autistic.

I got free early intervention help for my daughter. Check it out: http://www.elwyn.org/ECS/SEEDS_Philadelphia/

Try not to fret. Not all children are the same. Some wait until four or five to even utter their first word, or even go to the potty. It took my son until the age of 4 and 1/2 to finally go to the bathroom on his own. As long as she is making continued progress with other things such as making words and recognizing numbers along with saying them then all is well. When kids are ready, they're ready. Some may need a push and some don't. As far as the "dora lang." I would just merely accept it as a phase. Best of luck with the continued potty training.
Mother of 4 (too).

I would talk with your pediatrician about her behavior. Sounds a little worrisome. Seems like there are quite a few late trainers for potty training these days.

My nephew was just diagnosed with autism. For years my sister didn't know what it was. They originally thought it was ADD. He is 10 and was just diagnosed with autism. The reason for the more thorough evaluation was because he was having accidents at school, and eventually at home. He had the signs all along, not making eye contact, not responding to people, sensitivity to clothing, tantrums. It took my sister 3 hours to do homework with him every night and sometimes she just gave up because they were both tired. I would get her check out now so she won't be set back in school. My cousins boy also has Aspergers which is a different form . He has trouble separating fantasy from reality. Hope this info helps

My son, who is now 6, had similiar behavior problems. He still is very stubborn and does not like new social situations. The behavior was so bad until I put him in pre-k when he was 4. Or I should say, dragged him to pre-k! You didn't mention if your daughter was in any kind of program. When I talked to my pediatrician, she said sometimes this is just a shy childs way of dealing with a "scary" situation - the screaming, tuning people out, acting out. I did have him tested at Lifesteps, which I would suggest for you. I just wanted to rule out autism. But like your daughter, my son was so smart, and still is! My doctor also said that sometimes if you focus on this behavior, it will continue and get worse. In my case, I just stuck it out and tried to accept it as his personality (it was hard,I know!) I kept thinking - why is my kid like this, why can't he just be a "normal" kid! Now he is still stubborn and only does things on his terms! Usually I have to make it seem like it was his idea when I want him to do something! He is in Kindergarten and still is very sensitive and leary of new situations. I feel like I am constently reassuring him! I have learned that's just how he is, but in your case, I would definatly have her tested or at least talk to your doctor. Hope it helps to know you're not alone! Good luck!

You should have her evaluated if you are seeing red flags. Get her an appointment at Children's Hospital at the Developmental unit in Pittsburgh. At the very least this could give you peace of mind. If she does have delays you need to get on it now to get her some extra help. My 4 year old son is extremely smart and engaging but he is also on the autistic spectrum. He has difficulty with transitions and has a few other issues. Delays in speech are one of the red flags for autism. It could also be that she just needs a little help from a speech therapist. Either way I would have her evaluated.

Have you had her screened for Autism?

What does your pediatrician say about this? I would recommend talking to the pediatrician as a first step and getting a referral to someone who can evaluate her - a psychologist, behavioral health program. From what you describe, autism is a possiblity. Best of luck to you!

Hi L.!! My son is not potty trained yet either...it will come!! As for the behavior my son is now 7 and he loved to act out and be JOE from Blues Clues it would make us crazy!! We first thought it was cute, then we had to say stop being Joe and be yourself...do not feed into it she sounds like she has a great imagination!! So did he, his memory is unbeliveable and he does great in school...still has his talking to himself but he was just like your daughter!! Try and
not watch the show to much. hope this helps..K.

My daughter is 2 and was very stubborn also. She was doing a lot of the things you are saying your daughter does (minus talking in the 3rd person but if she watches dora a lot and shows that talk like that, you may have your explanation as to why she does that) There are a few things i had to do and change to make her stop. the most important thing was to follow through on the things i say, for ex. if you say thats it your going in the corner...make her go in the corner RIGHT AWAY, even when i was in grocery shopping i found a corner and put her in there screaming and all, or if you say no you cant have that, or its time for bed, stop whining...stick with what you are saying and the punishment you tell her she is going to receive dont give in because you want her to stop crying, screaming, etc. Another thing is routine, i know it is difficult now adays but if you establish a routine with her it makes a huge difference. As far as the potty training goes my daughter was potty trained at 18 months and then i moved and we had to do it all over again. so think about what has changed in her life, and minimalize the amount of tv time because when they focus on stuff like that they dont want to stop to go potty. The best thing that worked for my daughter was my husband my daughter and i made a poster board with Pee pee and poopy sections and days of the week, everytime she went potty she got to put a sticker on the board of dora and friends because she loves dora and at the end of the week we got her a toy. I also made arrangements with a friend so when my daughter went potty she got to call "dora" (my friend) and dora would say how proud she was with her. also make sure you use only two words one for pee and one for poop...dont keep changing it and saying tinkle and then peepee, or poopie and then dookie. and dont say potty because they may say no thinking you mean peepee when they have to go poopie. Good luck hun, hope i helped!!!!

I agree with the other advice regarding having her evaluated. One suggestion to make your life easier in the interim (at least for food shopping) is to try one of the supermarket delivery services. I have used Genuardis' at times when my daughter was sick or just not cooperating with shopping. I'm sure other stores' services must be comparable. They have the same prices as in the store, you can use coupons, etc. and they deliver to your door for a low delivery fee ($5-$10) They also have lots of discounts so that you can get the delivery for free or reduced price.
Good luck!

I feel a little silly giving advice to a woman with 4 kids. I would say to a first time mom, "wait it out it might pass." Especially with the potty training thing. My daughter was the same way with that. One day, 4 months away from 4 years old she woke up and told me she was "done with diapers." After that,no diapers and no accidents. But with you already having 3 other kids.... I say trust you instincts. talk to her doctors and see what they say. She seems overly smart for her age....maybe she is bored with activities for her age level. What ever the cause, good luck and trust how you feel.

I would say that if you are that worried about it talk to your doctor about having her tested.
When you talk or she talks to you does she look at you or does she look away??I know my son(whos 12)wasn't as bad as your daughter(with screaming and crying at stores)but he acts how you said your daughter acts and he does has a form a ASPERGERS.It's a milder form of autism but it's in the same field.
I say have her tested to put your mind at easy.I know my oldest is EXTREMELY smart(IQ over 120 in 3rd grade)and he doesn't know how to act because of it.he has issues dealing with being so smart(and he has meltdowns)but you can have her tested aand it's not a big deal.

Good luck to you and your family.
J.

I would definately have her checked for Autism. It can come out in numerous ways. Start with your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician (Dupont or CHOP) are the best.

I have an 8 year old that had some similar problems as you are describing. A finally discovered that he would scream in grocery stores (even as an infant) because he was getting too stimulated with all of the changes. He is very intelligent and his mind absorbed so much at one time that he would overload and short circuit as a young child. I ended up doing very short trips or finding a someone to watch him so that he did not need to go to the grocery store.

I have found that it is much better to ease them into a situation than to force a new environment on a child like this.

I wouldn't worry too much about the potty training issue. This is a matter of control and remember she has complete control over this one. In time, your daughter will decide that being in diapers is not fun and she will be trained in a few days. All three of my children were trained after 3 years old and none of them were bed wetters either. I just tried to gently encourage them. We ended up buying them a bicycle but would not let them have it until they stayed clean and dry, both day and night, for seven consecutive days. This worked like a charm for all three of my children. Again, we did not do this until they were three years old.