3 Year Old Having a Tatrum Everyday Around 5/6:00 - Long Valley,NJ

Yes that is prime time for tantrums in young children who no longer nap. Replace naptime with a quiet lay down on the couch time to listen to stories or watch tv, it cannot be a jumping around the family room while the tv is on but a very quiet 30-40 minutes

Hi,
I have a 3 year old son and a similar situation. He no longer naps (maybe 1 or 2 per week), and I notice he gets cranky late in the day. He usually starts asking for food or treats before dinner time which I don't like to do, however, sometimes I notice that he is a bear when his blood sugar is down. On some nights, depending on timing, I will give him a small healthy snack while I am preparing dinner (ie. a few grapes or apple slices)... this seems to help, without filling him up too much.

Yes, it is called the "witching hour". Kids are tired, cranky and hungry. They want attention but parents are busy getting dinner, getting home from work, etc. Try giving him a healthy snack that won't interfere with dinner so he's maybe not too hungry, that will also give him something to do at that time of day.

If you're busy getting dinner ready, maybe put on some music you can both sing to, or give him a coloring project to do at the table while you make dinner. If he is interested, have him help set the table, etc. Keeping him occupied with activities that are close to you at that time might help.

My daughter's favorite show comes on at 4:30, which is perfect. She watches the 20 minute show while I put dinner together. When the show is over, she helps set the table, which she loves to do.

It does get better at he gets closer to 4, but it won't go away completely until he's much older. Just be mindful of, is he hungry/bored/tired/needing attention and try to come up with solutions that would work for him.

Good luck!

Agreed! "Witching Hour"!
I hated hated hated that period. I always threatened to get a job from 3-7 every day ;)

What about instead of a nap, after lunch, let him watch a movie, quietly, lying down every day? We used to call it "quiet time" when the nap went south.
And you can ooch the bedtime earlier on the really bad tantrum days.

He sounds tired.
Over tired.

IF he naps, what time was he going to nap?
Maybe make nap after lunch.
Early enough but in the afternoon, so he can get rest.
But not so late in the afternoon that it impairs bedtime.

Or make his bedtime and/or dinner time, earlier.

Sometimes also, a child needs to "deflate" from their day. This is how they do it. Especially if they are in school. It tires them out. It is a long day for them. My daughter is like that.
So, after school, I let her deflate. Doing something very calm and relaxing. So that she can switch gears.

Or is he hungry?
Some kids, need to graze throughout the day.
If not, their blood sugar drops, and it can bring on emotionality and tantrums. My daughter is like that.
She has to graze throughout the day.
I get like that sometimes too.

Also teach him how to use his words.
Teach him the names for feelings and for what he wants.
Even if it is happy or grumpy feelings.
That way they do not get all pent up.
From 2 years old, I began teaching my kids the names for feelings and how to say it. From 3 years old, my son could tell me if he was "irritated," "frustrated," or "grumpy." And he knew the difference. He would say it. He would tell me.

Also, when a kid is hitting milestones or growth-spurts, sometimes this really tweaks them. They are changing cognitively. And it is like growing-pains. Not easy for them either.

have you tried also just talking with him... and seeing if he can articulate why/how come he feels that way or acts like that?
Sometimes it is surprising and eye opening, what they say.

I think Andrea is on to something. As a former nanny, I saw this *all* the time. No household is excluded from the madness at times.

Think about what goes on at this time. Kiddo is hungry (likely) and we don't want to spoil their appetite with a snack. First mistake. I have a nutritious snack (not a huge amount... just some apple slices, almonds, some cheese or veggies and hummus) ready to tide them over. The trick is to offer something that you will be 'okay' with if they don't eat much later on. But I try not to make it enough to fill the child up.

Second, we are otherwise engaged during this time. We the parents are busy prepping dinner as well as the other 101 things we must do. Our kids sense our attention is elsewhere and guess what? A big freak-out brings it right back to them. So as both Susan and Andrea suggested, this would be a great time for an activity they enjoy. At our house, we have 30 minute videos from the library that we like, or it's time to break out the playdough, the rice bin ( I know, not everyone keeps a bin for sensory play, but really, the investment in a zinc tub buys you so much time!) or something else that is good independent play material.

And sometimes, you know, that screaming kid just needs to go to his room when other solutions have been offered. Sometimes, kids develop the 'habit' of becoming upset or having tantrums at certain times of day. If we can't dissuade them of the habit, giving context ("you may scream in this room here" ) may help.

I like to joke that most days, I would really like to have a nanny for just 2 hours-- between 4 and 6. Someone could start a business with this!

he's most likely tired and /or hungry. try a low key activity and a snack. kids cant exactly give us warning that they are falling apart and why, so look for the signs and try to get head of it. a bowl of yogurt or some fruit may help hold him over until dinner.

My daughter is 4 now and we had the same problem. She doesn't nap for us but did/does for daycare. When she was at a home daycare, the nap was getting later and later and we had problems getting her tired enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour. At home, she didn't nap and was over tired.

What we found helped was that after lunch, she rest. She doesn't have to nap but she does need some down time (quiet reading or something calming and not stimulating) so she can just relax (at least 1/2 hour but ideally a little longer). Then she is rested for the afternoon and evening.

When my daughter was young she was like this. It took me a long time to realized that most of her meltdowns were in the middle afternoon period. I finally had to give in and let her watch tv or be on the computer during that period of the day. I'm not against tv completely. I just didn't like the afternoon cartoons she wanted to watch and this was 20 years ago when we didn't have DVR's or on demand preschool or cool learning sites online to use for preschoolers.

Try finding him something that he really loves and have him do it before he hits this time of day.

I believe his tantruns are due to him not napping. He is still young and obviously still needs his naps. Please don't take that away from him if you want him to stop tantruming. Nap him earlier than you have in the past so he won't stay up until 11:00 at night.

Tired of hungry. I would have a small snack before quiet time just to cover all your bases.

I would say he is either tired or hungry, since his tantrums are all at the same time every day.

I had one that NEEDED a snack @ 4p or he was a BEAR!

Maybe he didn't need a nap but now maybe he's going through a growth spurt and a little extra sleep earlier in the day might get him through the evenings a lot more smoothly. When ever my son was growing particularly quickly, he'd need longer and sometimes more naps than usual.
What time does he wake up in the morning? Maybe a siesta around lunch time would help him a bit.

My tantrums occur after five if I don't get a glass of wine-a lille child is no different-he wants to unwind-he's clearly tired-but as you say-if he sleeps too much-he wakes up cranky. Talk to him-tell him what you've observed and see if you can come up with a schedule for tomorrow-that includes maybe an early shower, fun dinner/picnic in the family room on a blanket-with smores for dessert-, then tooth brushing, story time, etc-just to mix it up and give him something to look forward to-BTW-I don't care if the time change is only an hour-it's grueling! Good luck!

We changed dinner time to a half hour earlier and it made the evening much smoother at our house.

You've described my 2-1/2 year odl daughter when she doesn't have her nap. My sons (now 4 and 6) both napped until they were 4.
Now that I've seen how my daughter responds without the nap, I put her into my bed (away from her toys) for naptime. She sleeps in a toddler bed, but we have the crib still so I threaten the crib if she gets out of my bed (she doesnt' want to sleep in the "baby" crib.
Also, I've found that when she starts to lose it around 5, a bath helps tremendously. She comes out ready for the last couple hours of the day.
Good luck!