3 Year Old Needs to Sleep Inhis Bed

I suggest you have to Consistently require him to sleep in his own bed 9nce you start. If you allow him to return to your bed or continue the pattern he's had for going to sleep this will go on forever or at least for weeks. Make the transition quickly for both him and yourself.

Talk with him about sleeping in his bed. Involve him in what goes in the bed with him. Have him take naps in his bed, always. No back and forth.

Do that for a week or so being consistent that he uses his bed and you don't hold his hand or let him rub your back.. Don't insist that he sleep. Let him play in his bed.

Hopefully he'll feel a bit more comfortable But he may not. Then put him in his bed at night. Plan for several nights of him getting up and you putting him back in bed without comment. Over and over. Super nanny says to start with him in bed and you sitting near him on the floor with your back to him without talking. He knows you're near and he's safe while he learns that you mean business and won!t give in the his crying/screams. Most parents say it takes 2-3 days of doing this consistently for child to accept that he's to sleep in his own bed.

Teaching independence is an important part of loving him.

I would make a new bedtime routine and stick with it. For my DD, it's bath, books, snack and bed. She knows that this is what the routine is and if she gets up and is not sick/hurt, then she will be guided back to bed, no if any talking. When she was 2ish our routine was poor and often involved being held or rocked to sleep. When I was transitioning her to be asleep by herself, I sat in her room, but not facing her. I was visible, but did not talk to her or acknowledge her other than to return her gently to bed when necessary. Slowly I got farther and farther out the door til I was no longer in her room. She also has a lovie (stuffed animal) and we made sure the lovie was with her nightly. You might also need to wind him down much earlier than you think you do - if he's overtired he may be on his second wind if you put everyone else to bed first. At three, you can also discuss how everyone needs to sleep (enlist child-friendly YouTube videos, like "Everybody Sleeps" from Sesame Street). Does he nap?

Also, for my DD, she can't fall asleep on her own in the dark. So we compromised and I leave the light on til I go to bed or notice she is asleep.

don't put him to sleep with the other kids. it will disrupt their rest, and do nothing to help your toddler.
now that sleeping with you is so deeply ingrained in his little brain, you have to be very, very patient and very, very consistent in retraining him. it will take some time, but if you relent, the whole thing will backslide.
the solution is very simple, but not easy to implement. you put in place a gentle, soothing, loving, CONSISTENT bedtime routine (bath, teeth, story, brief snuggle, for example) and then you leave. if he gets up, you take him back. silently, patiently, calmly, relentlessly. if he howls, you go in and rub his head or back or tummy for a minute or two, then leave. you can go back in again from time to time, but with longer and longer intervals between.
if your self-talk involves 'i can't' when it comes to toddlers, you're sabotaging yourself right out of the gate. yes, you can. you're the parent. he's a very, very little guy, and what he knows now is all he has to go on. to change this up you need to be patient, but not squishy with him.
khairete
S.

Sounds like you are in a tough situation. I know how important sleep is =) Have you tried transferring him to his bed after he falls asleep? Maybe that's a temporary solution?

And this is why God invented Reward Charts.

Sleep in your bed all night? Small reward.
Sleep in your bed all week? Big reward!

Hi,

I agree with Marda P. It should take only a few nights to do this. Loving but firm :)

I would just put him down in his bed for sleep and naps if he still has them. Make it as comfy as possible, have a night light on, or whatever it is that would make him feel secure. Read stories, and if he needs to hold your hand and rub your back. I allowed mine to look at books or talk to their stuffies with a little light on. I even said to one "it's ok if you play in bed for now", I'd go back in 10 mins and they'd be out. I didn't really care so long as they were in bed, and would fall asleep on their own.

I personally would not allow him to sleep with his siblings. I think that could be disruptive for their sleep and also just mean you have to change routines again later.

Good luck :) Usually only takes a few nights - and the longest I've ever heard from friends is about a week (but they caved!).