3 Year Old Sleeping with Us

This is a habit that must be broken! Children need to know that mom and dad's bedroom is their's and the kids have their own. the marriage comes first then the kids. I would recommend John Rosemond's books.

Be careful. The sleeping habits they develop in the first 5 years are very hard to change. Try having him sleep with you only on certain days of the week. If he is used to sleeping with other people it will be very hard for him to learn to fall asleep by himself.

I think it helps if you can make it something positive for them and not to push it if they are really resisting. With our daughter when she was 25 months we had my husband lay with her until she fell asleep (since I will soon be taking care of a newborn we wanted him to be the one that she relied on at nighttime). Once she fell asleep if he wasn't asleep also (she sleeps in a single bed on the floor with a bed rail) he would come back to our room. Occasionally she wakes up at night and he lays with her while she falls asleep. It has been a very peacefull process and in the morning she is always really proud when she tells me that she slept all by herself and that Papa laid with her. I have also noticed that it has helped with there bonding and that she is asking him more for things when before it was mostly me.

My oldest daughter will be 3 in May and still crawls into bed with us. She does great in her own bed. Once she gets sick or something changes then she is back in our bed. We try to always have her start in her bed and then when she wakes up she will come into our room. We have just started putting up a gate so she cant leave her room because we know that she needs to sleep in her room. We all sleep better when she is in her own bed. My youngest is in the same room in a crib. I think it might be easier for them when they are both in a bed.

We love having our daughter sleep with us but I've noticed that it is better for my relationship with my husband when she is in her own bed. Plus, I dont have to sleep on the edge of the bed.

J., sounds like you guys are being good parents, its not always easy to get the little one in their own bedroom for the parents sake, i am a mom of 3 boys, and had a hard time with this also, but i made alittle bed under my bed, and when they came in the room, i pulled out the little mattress from under my bed all ready made, they had a space, still felt comfortable, and safe, and yet we had our bed to do as we needed, ahem, (clears throat) they will eventually go in their own room, and if little brother also in there, he might step up and want to be in there too, sounds like you are doing great, no age as to when they leave the room, just be the same loving parents, you will find what the right time is, and sometimes when they fall asleep, we would carry them in their room, and if they came back in our room, we pull out the little mattress, well take care hope it helps, i know it did for us, D. s

I have an almost three year old also who has been sleeping with us since birth. We did NOT see that coming. We never planned to co-sleep but he was a terrible sleeper and my husband worked nights and this just happened. We thought he'd never get out of our bed. We have an 18 month old who sleeps in a crib in our room because we felt like it wouldn't be fair to put him in his own room if his brother was in our room. Anyway, just this week, my big boy told me that he's going to sleep in "mine own" bed. And he has. He usually wakes up around 5:00 and wants to come back in our room which is fine! Maybe you just need to plant the idea in his head and wait for him to want his own room.

Good Luck!

Looks like you've already received lots of good advice. This is another one of those things we start and wish we hadn't...then you wouldn't have to break their heart when we decide we need a change. Which you do need to change...parents need their time, too. We always worry about not giving our children enough attention and sometimes forget that relationships need attention, too, or they quit being good relationships...we are only co-existing.

You can do it...make it a positive move....and you will all sleep better and be a happier family in the end.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!

Hi J.,
Our son slept with us too. We never had a second child. He did eventually sleep in his own room. In most other countries the children sleep with the parents and eventually sleep in a room with a sibling. We would just slip out and go in another room if we needed adult time. Enjoy the closeness.
Sincere Blessings,
S.
http://www.YesToSuccess.net/S.
helping families and the environment for almost 12 years

This sounds like a good plan - but be prepared for some resistance. Once a child understands the warmth of the family bed, he will be loathe to give it up. Be patient with him - he needs you now that he has competition for your love. The more patient you can be with his need for your affection the more he will love his little brother.

We have a five year old and he still climbs in with us at times. We had a terrible time getting him back into his old bed because when we bought our current house, the upstairs had no insulation (1896 built) so he was only two and slept with us to make sure he stayed warm, then getting him back into his own bed was really hard, but it is the best thing for him. I know it breaks your heart to lose that snuggle time, but try watching cartoons with him and snuggling on the couch when the baby is napping. That way you both get to cuddle and he gets to be a big boy and have his own bed. Hope it helps

I was a single Mom and my daughter was used to sleeping with someone, either me or my Mom when she watched her for me. I found that some special decorations and a "Big Girl" party as a celebration of her new status at age 2 was perfect. We had a little celebration and even put up decorations that stayed up for the first few weeks as a reminder. She wanted to sleep in her room by herself so much she would go and take her naps all by herself. It worked so smoothly I was a litle sad to see her go so quickly. I loved to cuddle her and just hear her breathing at night. Then when my neighbors started coming home late at night from work (driveway under her bedroom of course) I put a radio in her room with soothing county music on a cd on repeat so it would keep playing. It helped to keep her asleep through the night. No more crawling into bed from those outside noises. Only when it was her waking naturaly for some reason. I hope you and your family the best of luck.

S.
Mother of a 12 year old girl

Please No. Not to look after the baby God forbid if any thing would happen your 3yr old would feel responsible.Him and the baby are big boys now and have a room of there own. Make a big thing of them both being older.
I am a Grandma now but some of the best memorys are of the kids comeing into sleep with me. So don't make him think he can never come back to to your bed. An if he dose just carry him to his bed after he is asleep.

I am with you. My four year old (just turned 4 in February) still sleeps with us. My son is 4 months and will be sleeping in his room soon but felt it would be too much of a change to expect our daughter to sleep in her room when the baby is in ours. Once he sleeps in his crib (in a month or 2) we will move her in there too. I think it is a good idea, and may even make the older ones feel special. She already wants to be in her room when the baby takes naps in there because it's her room and she wants to make sure the baby is safe from the monsters (that's another issue entirely) and doesn't get hurt on her toys. I too, will miss her being in bed with me, though my husband won't.

On a side note, she had slow speech too and after a couple of meetings with the speech experts through Wisconsin's Birth-3 program, she won't stop talking. LOL

You have to be careful. My son was the same way and since my relationship was on the rocks I didn't mind him snuggling with me at night. But now I can't get my son to sleep in his bed at all. The farthest I can get him away from me at night now is the couch in the living room (one room away). They say it takes about a week to "break" them of their habit and there may be some tears but the time to do it is now before he is set in his ways.

Break that habit now! I hate to sound harsh but I have a friend that was in a similar situation that you are in and her son is now 7 and will not sleep in his own room. He has his own bed in his parents room but thats the furthest he has went in 7 years. He is he only child and she had problems getting pregnant. she to enjoyed the closeness but now he won't even go to bed without her! I believe that it is totally okay to let your "babies" sleep with you every once in awhile because they are only little once, but not everyday. Please take these things into concideration for the future. Good luck!

When my 1st son was born he slept with me, his dad was in the military going thru basic, AIT and then went to Korea for a year, so it wasn't a problem. UNTIL my husband got back from Korea and suddenly that queen size bed wasn't big enough. I had saw something on tv that said to get them to sleep in their own bed to first bring his matteress [hopefully he is in a toddler bed :)] into your room, place it on the floor next to your bed and let him sleep there for a couple of days and then move the bed a foot toward the door, let him sleep there a couple of days and repeat until finally his matterss is in his own room. Sounds funny, and he did cry a little when i would move it down, but he got used to it and slept in his own room. We also had a new baby in the room with him and it helped him to stay in his room.

Now he is 14 and hard to get him out of the bed... so it does get better.