3 Year Old Starting Preschool with a Newborn at home...I Am Nervous!

the purpose of preschool is all social.. he will learn to wait patiently... to play with other kids.. to handle bathroom totally independently. to clean up his toys and snack messes.. he will make friends.. and look forward to playing with little billy and johnny. he will totally enjoy the time at school.. he may cry and fuss when you leave him but soon he will be busy doing whatever the class is doing..

your son may learn a letter or number or color but that is not really important..

My daughter was very shy and preschool has helped her a lot.. I totally recommend sending him for 2 or 3 days a week. it is only 2 hours a day. the skills he learns in preschool are very important. he will have fun

Our son had an in-house babysitter for the first 20 months, and at 2, when his sister was born, he moved to Day Care which basically runs as a preschool. it was our best decision, and he's flourished in the environment.

He doesn't transition well despite knowing most of the older kids in the next class, but after a few weeks, it's like nothing ever happened.

My advice to you would be to do it now. Just as you had the opportunity to bond with him, you'll want the opportunity to bond with your new baby. The earlier you introduce your older son to these transitions, the easier it will be when the baby comes.

The hardest part of being a parent is letting our children be independent and letting them spread their wings. I struggle with it personally at times, too. But, in the back of my mind I remind myself that is my job as a mom, and that was one of my simple prayers when going through chemo following my daughter's birth.

It will be hard at first if you choose to put him in preschool, but it's a minimal amount of time compared to full-time day care (which is what my kids are in). As long as you make the moments you do have together count as much as possible, you'll find how much he's thriving and becoming his own person. You'll have the opportunity to learn about all the exciting things he's doing, what he's learning and who his friends are. The dialog becomes so much more fun when it unfolds from their point of view.

Good luck!

I know how you feel. My son was only two when second baby was born. I've had mommy guilt for not giving full attention to newborn and for not giving full attention to toddler ... But the hardest part is the joyous heartbreak of seeing my first baby grow up and not need me as much. I put him in daycare twice a week starting a few weeks before the baby was born. He seemed to hate it at first... Guilt and heartbreak.... Then he started loving it...more heartbreak that he was getting over me. But having two days a week to spend with just my newborn is worth the emotional price. Everything is as it should be... I say put your child in preschool the benefits outweigh the costs.

My toddler has been going to nursery & preschool for two years now and he loves it, even though it took him a couple of weeks to adjust to not being with mommy all the time.

What you need to focus on is your newborn - having time alone with baby, even if it's only a few hours a week, will keep you sane. Just think of it this way, others are taking care of your oldest and keeping him busy and happy while you take care of your little one.

What you don't want to do is to keep your oldest at home 24/7 with the idea that this way you'll be able to give him more attention this way. It won't - I was on bedrest for several months and the days when my son was not in preschool were extremely hard. He ended up watching a lot of TV or playing with his toys while stuck in my room with me. If you have a baby (as I will too), your child will be doing much of the same while you take care of your baby, unless you can get a nanny or sitter to help you in the afternoon as well.

We will be having my mom come to stay with us for several weeks to help us with our oldest, and then he'll be in preschool 5 days a week in the afternoon when school starts which will give him (and us) a much needed break.

**Adding this: if you send him to preschool at 1:00-3:30.... is this usually his "nap time?" Usually a kid is tried by the afternoon and especially if he is used to napping. And has spent the morning with the Nanny. Thus, if sent to preschool at this time in the afternoon... he may be tired... maybe too tired to go to Preschool at this time, and then to interact/engage/act accordingly??? Something to think about. Thus, maybe sending him in the mornings are better..... (ie: think about 'timing' and what time of day is best for your child when HE is at his best... not tired. Otherwise, you can't expect him to just get in the swing of things right away at school, if he is tired at that time of afternoon).
Also, if not having a nap because of his Preschool schedule, do not "assume" that he "will" be going to bed earlier, as you plan or think he will. Sometimes, lack of naps, does not mean the child will then automatically go to bed earlier... and well.
Sometimes, an "over-tired" kid, will actually NOT sleep well, nor fall asleep well.... because over-tiredness actually makes it harder for a child to sleep or sleep well.
Also, how come the preschool hours of his attendance is "only" 2.5 hours??? Usually, Preschools are half-days or full-days....
By the time he gets to preschool and adjusts and starts to have fun, it will already be time for him to come home. 2.5 hours to me, is not much.
-------------------------
Send him.
He will be fine.
You will be fine.
Everyone will adjust.

When I had my 2nd child, my daughter started Preschool at about 3.5 years old. She was close to me, as your son is. She spent all her time with me, since I am a SAHM. And she is bi-lingual. Both my kids are.
She did FINE!
And, I then had time just with my newborn son at that time. It worked out well.
However, my daughter went to Preschool, initially, in the morning... 3 times per week. Half days. Then, after that, she wanted to go everyday. So then she did.
Going to Preschool was HER time... HER thing.... and to have fun with other kids, ASIDE from just being home with me and a new baby. So it was beneficial for her, in that way. She LOVED preschool.

For you, and your son... I think, him napping is still important... but it seems with his 'new' preschool schedule of going to school in the afternoon... he will not be getting naps. As you said. So my suggestion would be: that he go to Preschool in the MORNING.... and be with the Nanny after that, or with you. To me, that makes more sense. For a child.
And that way, he will then be getting naps. And his same bedtime schedule... not it having to change, and then him being without naps....
Because, him going to Preschool from 1:00-3:30... to me, that is a kid's "nap time."

Afterschool... kids are typically tired. This is normal. And then they nap once home. Or, in Preschool, they have nap periods, usually after lunch. I would time his day/your day, according to that. More convenient that way... and keeping it in line with his nap times too etc.

To me, going to preschool in the afternoon... is working against any nap time, for a kid. It deletes it.

all the best, just some ideas,
Susan

I went through almost exactly the same thing last summer (daughter born in June when my son was 35 months and he started preschool in September). It has been the best thing for him. He loves the attention he gets at school and it gives me a little time with my daughter (although she naps most of the time he's in school) which is really important to me. My son cried the first day--when I came to pick him up--he didn't want to go home. He has become so much more confident and secure being in preschool. He's really happy there and misses it on days he doesn't have school. He's made some great friends. I almost feel bad that I had kept him home with husband or very limited time with a stable sitter. It has been hard to see him become more independent, but that is what I want for him--to gradually become an independent person. I wish you all the best with making this tough decision and the transition.

I'd try and start him in preschool before the new baby comes, if possible. Starting preschool can be the best thing that ever happened for some kids, and for others it is a big adjustment. I would really try not to convey your uncertain feelings to him, though. Preschool teachers are good at this stuff - take your son in, say a pleasant and QUICK goodbye, and LEAVE! You can cry in the parking lot if you need to, but whatever you do, don't be one of those moms who stays for half an hour with your kid wrapped around your leg. Not good for him, not good for you!

That being said, my older daughter, who spent her first two years either with us or her nanny, constantly being catered to, LOVED preschool. I mean, the first day I expected tears, and that she wouldn't like it. We walked in through the front door, and her little face lit up, and she was off like a shot to play with the other kids. She didn't look back, didn't hug us goodbye, didn't care if we left! She was completely fine and never looked back!

Our younger daughter was raised in similar fashion, however starting preschool was traumatic for her. However, we would just drop her off cheerfully, and let the teacher deal with her (the teachers told us that she'd stop crying before we even made it out of the parking lot, so it was more a show for mommy and daddy than anything else). In a few weeks, she stopped making a fuss at drop-off and was fine. She is graduating from Kindergarten next week and loves school!

So, have faith in your son that he is ready for this next step. Preschool is so much fun! It's hard as a mom to let your baby grow up, but it's good for them to have a little freedom, a time where they can make their own choices, make their own friends, get to know adults other than their immediate family. I bet he will have a great time. And it will be good for him to have his "own thing" going on once the new baby comes. My older daughter seemed much less affected by her sister's birth than she'd have been if she had been used to 100% of my attention 24/7. Preschool was a very good thing for us! =)

My daughter was 3 when my second was born.. she went to a montessori school.. best thing I ever did.. b/c I needed time with the baby.. She loved learning and new friends.. she went 5 days a week.. I would of burnt out with a newborn and toddler at home 24/7.

I think he will be fine, and this will give you a little time with the new one or time to rest, clean or whatever else you need to do!

He is growing up Mom, and although it stinks, it's a fact......it will also give him a break from the new brother that I am sure he will love very much.......

Look at this as a new adventure for him........he's going to learn so much and make you so proud.......

Go on and send him.....I think it will be good for all of you and make him see how much you love him by letting him learn new things and meet new people.

Good Luck and Congrats on the new baby. Take care.

I have my son in daycare/preschool. I really think with a new brother or sister coming along your 3 year old needs something for himself. He needs to gain that independence and it will give you a tremendous help. I know from experience because I have a 6 month old as well. My 4 year old may stay a little longer in daycare than I would like him to but having a new baby is ALOT of work and having two around is even harder. My advice to you is that if its only 2 days a week that is awesome!! And it will transition him into going everyday when he is required for preschool. Hope this helps and congrtas on your new baby!!!

Your life is about to turn upside down with a second child in the house. I sent my son to a moms-day-out one day a week when his sister was a baby and I was so glad I did! We really appreciated the time away from eachother, and it gave me time to have one-on-one time with the baby. (You will have a bit of mommy guilt that you don't get a lot of one-on-one time with the second baby like you did with the first because the toddler is always around!) We also were able to spend quality time talking about his day since he had so much to tell me about the things he did at school, which you can do during bath time or during your bedtime ritual. He used to tell me "Let's talk our day".

I would stick with the 3 days a week because it will be easier for him to adjust to it going that often. You can always drop a day and go to 2 days a week if you decide to do so... but on the flip side, if you start the year with 2 days a week and he LOVES it (which he will!!!) they may be too full to give you a third day.

If it makes you feel any better, I have 3 kids, the oldest being 12. EVERY time any of them started a new school year, I was so nervous for them!! Even if it was the same school, I knew it would be a new teacher and new classroom and new kids and I was so sure something would go horribly wrong! The few times I was unhappy, I switched them to a new teacher or different preschool altogether, but the majority of the experiences have all been positive. You and your son will both be VERY happy you did this!