My 3 year old son over the last few months has started waking up in the middle of the night and coming to my Husband and my bed. At first we would wake up and send him back, but eventually we got used to the sounds of him crawling into bed and slept right through it, and now almost every morning he is in our bed. Does anyone have any suggestions to keep him in his room at night? Baby gates don't work.
EDIT: One concern I forgot to mention is the fact that the front door is right beside our bedroom door and I am scared in confusion he is going to go out the front door. We have 2 dead bolts on it, but he can open both of those, and since we live in an apartment we cannot install a higher hotel or slide lock. When my son went to my parents house a month ago or so my dad actually woke up because he heard noise in the front room and my son was in the process of opening their front door. Any suggestions for this?
He's probably waking up because he needs to go pee.... and generally they always come to mommy's bed. Mine did it, it never bothered me. It usually goes away on its own. When they quit waking in the night they will stay put.
Enjoy the snuggle time now. It will pass. My son came in everynight and he was such a cuddler. But as soon as first grade came and he had to be up for school at 6:50am, coming into our room stopped. He was too pooped and slept all night in his own bed.
Mine dd is 5 years old and still wakes every night.. And crawls into our bed.. My 8 year old stopped waking in the night at age 4. To be honest we enjoy our snuggle time. I have tried to put my 5 year old back to bed and it is a battle not worth fighting for us..
My 5.5 yo still does sometimes, and my 2.5 yo often. It bothers my husband more, but I honestly enjoy snuggling. They grow up too fast!
Since my husband doesn't agree though, we did decide to try a sleeping bag on the floor when my oldest turns 6. He's a big kid and a fitful sleeper so it's harder to snuggle with him, or carry him back to bed. Hopefully that will motivate him to stay in his own bed easier.
Welcome to my world!!! This happens nightly for us. It's gotten to the point that I was taking our daughter back to her room at least 3 times a night & she'd always come back. So this means she was up half the night & it was hard to get her ready for school/daycare the next day because she was tired. I'm glad you posted this now I know what other parents do. I guess I will try the locking my door, which I've been dreading to do. Good luck!!!
My son is 9 years old and still crawls in bed with us a lot of nights. He climbs right across me, so most times I wake up, but sometimes I don't. We don't mind him coming in. I keep telling my husband when he's 15 we'll be lucky to get a hug out of him, much less a late night cuddle.
My son also has a problem with sleep walking and has walked out the front door. The first times we caught him, he woke us fiddling with the locks. The time it happened the dog and I both woke when we heard the door shut behind him. By the time I got to the door, he was already standing beside my car about 25 feet away and it was raining. The next day hubby went, bought slide locks, and installed them about 8 inches below top of the door.
I say rules or no, do the same. Your child's safety is more important than a refund on your deposit when you move.
I have seen door sensors that beep when the door is opened. They are not attached to a burglary system, they work independently.
When my son goes to his grandparents or a friend's house to spend the night I always advise them of the situation and request that they put something that would make noise in front of their doors. At one friend's the mom did catch him at the door fiddling with the locks.
Read Ashley Montegue on the family bed. Why do you ask the child to sleep alone when you don't.
Our nine year old still crawls up sometimes. We are a snuggly family, so it's actually kind of nice to all wake up curled up together. (At least on the weekends!) As others have said, they just grow up so fast!
As for the door, that is a concern. We used to have sensors on our doors. It's a very simple contraption that sticks to the door & door frame. You turn it on at night. If the sensors separate from each other, a loud alarm goes off. It was an inexpensive solution for our little escape artist. (He was you son's age at the time.) I think they still sell them at the hardware stores. It's adhesive, so no harm to the door. Luckily, by the time Ike came through, he was past that stage. Funny thing about adhesive...when the power was out for a week, it lost it's stickiness.
This is perfectly normal and the reasons don't matter much. He's at an age where they have nightmares which he may not even remember having if you ask him "Did you come because of a bad dream." He's at an age where he, as someone else noted, may get up to use the toilet and just automatically comes to you and not to his bed. He's at an age where he just wakes up and realizes, hey, my most important people aren't in here, they're in there, so he comes to you. He may do it every night for a while or he may stop tonight and not do it for ages. You can gently walk him back to his own bed and tuck him in -- don't talk to him or react much if you do, it will make him more alert and wakeful -- but also don't scold him because he's done nothing wrong or bad. Or you can let him stay until morning. This really isn't harmful at all and soon enough he'll stop doing it.
The key thiing is: If he goes to bed willingly in his OWN bed you're doing very well and he is separating from you appropriately. The going to bed on his own is the developmental part to work on right now. If he's doing that part OK, I wouldn't worry if he is coming to your bed later, unless he's always coming because he's distressed.
The one problem might be if he's a very "active" sleeper who moves around a lot and pokes you with elbows and knees and it keeps the working adults from getting needed rest before work the next day. If that's the case you'll want to walk him back to bed - but again, please don't scold him for what is just a small kid naturally gravitating toward the people he wants to be with all the time right now. I'd be more concerned, actually, if he never ever wanted to be with you at night.
I think it's perfectly fine for the kids to come crawl in bed with us so I don't see the problem. Sometimes I go to bed with my hubby and me and wake up to 4 in the bed. Sometimes they just need that snuggle. He may be hungry, growth spurts often happen about this age. I would never lock the kids out of my room unless it was during a "special time" with hubby and then go unlock it. What if they are sick or need you and can't quite get to the door, if it's locked or even closed they may not be heard.
Tell your manager that you must install a slide lock of some sort to insure the safety of your son. Otherwise you'll need to find a way to do this. I put a bunch of jingle bells on the back of the door so that when it moved I could hear them.
Our son did this as well, I think it must be a 3 yr old thing. We just locked our door at night. We told him he needed to stay in his own bed at night and that he could knock if he needed something. We mainly did this bc we never wanted to get 'caught'!! ;) One morning I opened the door to find a cuddly little boy curled up with a blankie asleep in front of my door, it was so cute :D But that was one time, he got the idea and stopped coming at night to our room. He is four now and a champ sleeper :)
My son used to sleep walk and had gone out the front door once and was about to go head first down some concrete steps when I caught him by the ankle...he must have been 4 at the time.
Although I lived in an apartment at the time, I did install a sliding lock higher than he could reach so whenever after that the front door opened it hit that chain barrier. I don't think he stopped walking in his sleep until he was about 9.
If necessary, the lock can be removed when you leave but protecting your child is more important than whatever "rules" they can come with for you not installing one...IMO
Yes! My son did this.
I'd tuck him into his bed at bedtime, and he'd sometimes migrate to our bed around 2 or 3 am and we'd find him in the morning tucked in at the foot of our bed (usually holding my foot).
Honestly - I didn't mind so much because he didn't wake us (so we got enough sleep), and he solved a problem for himself (wanting me) and settled himself back to sleep.
He out grew it eventually.
If he's too big to fit comfortably into your bed, try having a sleeping bag or cot next to your bed so he can settle in there.
