3 Yr Old Refusing to Poop in the Toilet

Try staying in the bathroom with her for a little while and close the door. My 2 years grandson do not want to poops on the toilet or his potty. But he like to talk to you while he sitting on the toilet. So we talk back to him so he want get off the toilet and he began poops on it. Hope this help.

My answer is to be patient and trust that she will figure it out. Don't punish her or make her feel bad about the accidents. Make sure she is getting adequate water, not too much milk and lots of veggies and fiber. My daughter is 4 1/2 and fights constipation and often has #2 accidents, but if I assure her that I love her and make sure her diet is good, it's a lot easier for both of us!

My older son was completely potty trained just before his 3rd bday, then he got a stomach bug a month or 2 later, had diarrhea, and wouldn't poop on the potty after that.
He'd ask for a diaper when he had to go, we went with that for a while. I didn't want it to be a fight, and I had a baby to take care of so I really didn't want to have the struggle at the time. I eventually made him be in the bathroom when he went, thinking it had just turned into him not wanting to stop playing but that didn't make a difference. Then I just started responding more slowly. "you can use the potty right now or you can wait until after I xyz." It was very short times, just wanting him to think about it.
What finally happened is that I made him wait while I was getting baby to sleep, he pooped on the floor while waiting for me, we calmly cleaned it up and he was fine with the potty after that. He had so worked it up in his head that not going in a diaper was painful/scary but this showed him that he was okay to not use a diaper.
Sometimes it's hard to get into the head of a preschooler, or make sense of their logic and therefore know what will get thru to them. Just try somethings, don't make it a power struggle.
Potty training is not the all or nothing thing it seems like it should be...potty pooping is a seperate issue from peeing, many will be fine at home but not in public places, or yes when naked but not when clothed....there are many steps in the process!
Good luck!

That was my son exactly... unfortunately I have no advice but patience! I was at my wits end... I would try to get him to tell me why he was scared. He would just say he didn't know how to go on the potty. His big thing was going in the tub. I started having him sit on the potty while I gave my infant a bath or I would bribe him with sweet treats and read to him. He just all of a sudden got it! Just for the last two weeks he has gone on the potty every time. He too was potty trained to pee on the potty in about 2 days and never went back. It was sooo frustrating, I feel for you. (every poop was in his pants for about 4-5 months!) I got a lot of advice about not getting upset with him. I read somewhere that since they hold it so long and let it just come out when there is no room that they are not completely emptying out so the sensation of having to go is never really gone. Nothing flags them. Just keep rewarding and try your best to be patient! Sorry, I hated that advice when I was asking!

I had the same struggle with my daughter for about 2 months right before her 3rd birthday. She had been potty trained for #1 for months, but not #2. We used a combination of things, first a motivational chart that I created where the prize at the end was a trip to the zoo, and every time she used the potty she moved one square on the track (it was train themed), for #2 she moved 2 squares. There were also "bonus" squares along the way where she would get a small prize (like hair ribbons or small cars, etc). Each time she got to put a sticker on the square after she went potty. However, this wasn't enough alone to motivate #2 (she was doing all the things you describe). So we did have a couple of what I call test of wills. I would see her going to "hide" (as she called it) which meant go #2 in her pull-up, and I would take her to the potty, where she would yell and want off. I wouldn't give her the pull-up back, (or her pants) but would let her leave the potty (if she wanted). She would not go #2 without the pull-up, so we would wait it out (the first time it took over an hour) - but eventually she went in and sat on the potty chair on her own and went #2 - she was so excited!! It wasn't consistant from then on- we had to use the same approach a few more times, but it only took a few weeks from that point to turn the corner. Another trick- if you are willing to use treat rewards (I was willing to try everything). One of the first times we struggled with the #2 like above, I told her she could have an M&M for every minute she sat on the potty (because I knew she really had to go). It went on for quite a while, but eventually she was at the right place at the right time, and realized it wasn't so bad. I remember feeling like it might never end - so hang in there.

What works for my 3 year old: choices and transparency. I know his bowel habits (he's pretty regular and he eats a lot of fiber and drinks a lot of water!), so after a big meal, I tell him "in 5 minutes you're going to sit on the potty and try to poop". He then has the choice to pick out a book to read while on the toilet, sometimes he chooses a toy. He also has the option of the door open or closed "for privacy". He can sit on the potty seat or the big toilet (all of these are choices he gets to make). I can sit with him and read to him, or he can sit alone and read himself, etc. I offer TONS of choices!
95% of the time, he will sit there until he poops. If he doesn't, I praise him for trying anyway, and make sure to sit him there again after the next snack, big meal, or right before rest time (otherwise he will poop in his pull up and not rest or fall asleep).
If there are accidents (pee or poop), I don't make a big deal of it either way - "everyone has accidents!"
Hope this helps. She will eventually poop in the potty, I promise! :)