For the past two months my 33 month old son has been crying if we leave the room after reading stories. Cries/screams at the gate if we leave. So then my husband ends up laying in the bed until he falls asleep. But then he's been waking up 3-4 times at night calling out for daddy. We have a 1 year old girl who we just got sleeping through the night last month. So I have been the one waking up with her. I know my husband thinks its easier to go in and sleep with my son when he wakes up so that my daughter doesn't get up and then the whole house is up. But this can't keep happening. Any suggestions? He has 2 nightlights in the room and his stuffed animal george and also sucks his thumb. We have a night light in the hallway and his door is open. I don't want him in our bed because my daughter is an earlier riser and I need to get up and dressed for the day. He's also just stopped napping. Or at least going up for an offical nap. Usually ends up napping with me. I work at home and need the afternoon to work so it was easier to let him stay down with me than to deal with his crying and then his sister not napping either. Please help.
No good advcie here but I just want to say that you are correct to worry about this. I made the same mistake of lying with my son until he fell asleep and he is 8 y.o. now and STILL has sleep issues...he has a reallly tought time falling asleep by himself. He has taken to sleeping with his little brother now. Also, when he wakes in the middle of the night he crawls in with me rather than getting back to sleep on his own.
Check out the toddler sleep book by Elizabeth Pantley. I'm not sure what the title is exactly, but if you look up Elizabeth Pantley you should be abe to find it. Best of luck to you!
Your almost 3 year old is just going through a phase. I would suggest that you just keep putting him back in bed. My 3 year old like to lay in bed looking at I Spy books before he goes to sleep. We leave the hall light on so he can see, but doesn't have too much light in his room to fall asleep. We also keep a radio on low (set the the classical station in town). For some reason, he needs some kind of "white noise" to stay asleep. For that matter, so do I! I leave my fan on and if my DH turns it off, I toss and turn all night.
I'm sorry that he isn't napping anymore! My little one just stopped napping and it is hard!
Our son is almost 4 and still has these issues. He's never been a good sleeper.
Just remember that not everyone has the same sleep patterns - I am a very light sleeper, my husband is a very heavy sleeper. I awake at everything, and I believe our son has the same issues (poor little guy).
We've started bribing him with gifts to try to get him to stay in his bed. So far, it's working. We set 7 nights in a row as a goal - he's come close a few times, and hasn't hit it. He's at 6 nights currently to get a $5 Buzz Lightyear stuffed animal from Kohl's. We've probably had to restart 4-5 times because it has to be 7 nights consistently.
We just set a new goal for getting himself to bed by himself. He's relied on either Mommy or Daddy to lay down with him, and it's getting really old. So, the goal id 5 nights in a row of going to bed by himself, and he'll get the $5 Woody stuffed animal from Kohl's.
We had to resort to bribery for potty training, too - he is a great kid, but just has to be bribed to be motivated in some situations.
Good luck!
You mentioned he just stopped napping in his usual manner. This could contribute to his nighttime difficulties. He managed to get his way by fussing and not having to go to his bed for a nap so he is seeing if it works at night too. He may also be overtired if he is not napping enough or as soundly during the day. Not enough daytime sleep can disrupt nighttime sleep and cause more night wakings in children. My daughter just stopped napping and she will 5 next month. She always needed a daytime restful nap or she would wake up during the night and fuss or cry. She always slept better and longer with a nap. I find the same thing is true for my 2 year old son. However he does not need quite as much nighttime sleep as my daughter but needs more daytime sleep than she did. It is funny how kids are, but both of them sleep worse when they are overtired. I would suggest making sure he gets a good daytime nap, and stick with putting him in there alone to fall asleep, you can go in if he cries and comfort him but explain to him you need to leave for whatever reason and he needs to go to sleep. Eventually he will realize no one is staying with him and he will go to sleep on his own. Sleep issues are hard, but it is better to take the time to deal with them now before you dealing with still in 3 years. I have lousy sleepers so I understand what it is like to be sleep deprived and I know the longing for a good nights sleep. Good luck, and i hope you are all sleeping through the night soon!!!!
My daughter had to have someone in her room until she was asleep (or didn't realize we had left the room) until she was 29 months old. I was getting ready to move her brother into her room and knew she was capable of falling asleep on her own (but was never a fan of CIO). Because I knew that, I was able to implement the 'supernanny approach' (or my altered version of it). I explained to my daughter that after books I would sit in her room for a few minutes (this can be however long you want - 5, 10, 20 minutes). The first night I did this with my daughter, she cried for 15 minutes at least and ended up falling asleep in her doorway (we left the door open because she had decided she no longer wanted her door closed). She did remain in her room (after taking her back in there about 10 times!). The second night, she fell asleep after crying a little bit. The third, she whimpered, the fourth, no tears. No saying this will work - but I think the key is to ensure your child knows that they are safe and that you are close. Come back in and check on them every so often (if they are crying). You can either talk to them (or don't), rub his back briefly (or don't), etc. But make sure that once you leave you do not remain in the room for more than about 30 seconds. Plan to try this on a weekend incase you don't get much sleep.
I can see how it's easier for your husband to just sleep with her. With my daughter, I always felt it was easier (when pregnant) and now if/when she wakes up to just come into bed with me because then we fall asleep fast and easily.
As far as waking up in the middle of the night a few times, I have no suggestions because my daughter did this until her brother moved into her room. Then she slept great for two months. Then she started waking 1x per night and now just comes into our room and gets into our bed when she does. This works for us because my husband works 2nd shift so he gets home late and doesn't come to bed until about 2 hours before I get up so three is not too crowded in our bed!
About the napping, my daughter pretty much gave them up on the weekends (we think it's because it's the only time of the week she sees both of us). What I tell her when I KNOW she is super tired is that she has to lay down and rest. I sit in the room with her and tell her stories while she lies in her bed or on the floor. She'll usually fall asleep within 10 minutes. This happened this past Saturday and she slept for 3 hours...(but also only slept 7 hours the night before but that is a different story!)
Good luck, know that this is a stage and get to bed early when you can! This is what I do!
It must be a boy thing! My 3 yr old son has never been a great sleeper. I think he was 18 months before he started sleeping through the night. We had a queen size bed in his room up until 2 months ago because he was having trouble falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the night...multiple times. We made it easier on ourselves by putting the bigger bed in there so we weren't sleeping on the floor. But bedtime became such a dreaded event cause we would spend anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour in his room getting him to sleep. Two months ago I decided enough was enough and made my husband put back his toddler bed and take out the queen bed. We still have occassional battles with him, he loves to scream cause he knows it gets to us. Since we put the toddler bed back in his room he has refused to nap in there, he tends to fall asleep on the couch during nap or just skips it altogether. I wish I had an easy fix but it seems to be a phase he is going through and my husband and I just reassure each other its just a phase and it to will end....eventually. In the meantime we also remind each other that as soon as he's a teenager we'll get our revenge by waking him up at 6:30a on a saturday morning for no reason, just for some payback!! LOL!!
CIO is the only thing that comes to mind for quick resolution, much as it might break your heart. Even if he wakes up your daughter, that should resolve it after a night or two. You need to re-train him how to sleep - however you did it in the first place - because at this stage, he's training YOU. :)
Hi, Steph:
Have you thought about learning to do infant/toddler massage on your children to help them relax?
International Association of Infant Massage to learn how to and
Gentle Touch Warehouse for books, videos, oil, etc. at
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Hope this helps. D.
