3.5 Year Old Oy Won't Potty train...help!

One thing I'd be real careful with is punishment. With potty training, negative response is not a good thing. Try to pin point when he's going (is he pretty regular & consistent in when he goes?) My daughter always pooped right before bedtime. To eliminate the possibility of panty accident, I'd put a diaper on her after bath. She'd pitch a fit, but I would explain that she was not allowed to poop in panties, that until she started to poop in the toilet she couldn't wear her pretty panties. Once she finally went on the toilet, Girl.... we called daddy at work, Nannie, we danced in the bathroom... Make a huge production out of it.....

Best of luck!

If he wants to be potty trained then tell him that only big boys who keep their underwear clean are allowed to wear that underwear. And then if he poops in his underwear that day put him in a diaper and make comments like "I'm sorry you decided to be a baby and wear diapers." And keep in mind, you have how many months before he starts school? It's not that urgent. If you make it into a battle then he's going to keep pushing back and that'll make it harder on both of you. Another thought, I know this sounds gross, but make him wear the underwear even if he poops in it. Yes, shake it out into the potty, but don't get him clean undies. Just tell him calmly that he only gets one pair of undies a day. It all depends on your child and his temperment. If he's really proud of being a 'Big Boy' then the first might work better. If he doesn't care about his 'status' he may care that his bottom is squishy and he smells bad. Yeah, it's frustrating and nasty (both situations, who wants to deal with changing an over three year old!) but it will happen. I've got a four year old and a one year old (I'm going to be dealing with all of the nastiness again, all too soon) and I remember how annoying the process is. I'll be praying for you M.!

H.

My 8 year old was 3 before she was potty trained to poop on the potty. Same situation, she was starting pre-school and was getting down the pee in the potty process, but kept pooping on the floor, the porch, in her panties, etc. I was trying so hard to stay positive and not get stressed, but I had arranged to start a part-time job during her pre-school hours and she had to be potty trained to be in school. I read the Princess and the Potty, Miss Piggy's No More Diapers, got fancy panties, panties with characters she loved, gave out M&Ms, etc. It just wouldn't happen.

Finally, she started pre-school, they took bathroom breaks, and she had one accident the whole year, and it was a pee-pee accident.

My son trained "socially" too. I worked with him for 6 months before he started part-time care at a friend's home who had a 4 year old son, and PRESTO, he was potty trained. I have talked to other Moms who had the same experience. It seems like something clicks in their minds when they spend several hours a day away from Mommy with other kids who are already trained. They are on such a routine at school, also, and it is healthy for them to have a routine they can count on every day, and their bodies just depend on the rhythm.

I say, keep smiling, keep everything happy happy happy, and try to not let him know how important it is to you that he get trained.

Best wishes and Good Luck!!

R.

have you tried when ever he poops in his pants taking him to the potty dumping it in the toilet and telling him that it belongs in the potty and not in his pants?

Do not feel bad. My son refuses to go to the potty. He is 3.5 too. I am not sure but it really seems to be a control issue. Once I make him sit on the potty and leave the room he will go. I have started leaving the room so he can private time and focus. Of course, I leave the door open and I am right outside the door. I have had some luck with this. But, if you find out the secret, let me know. I agree it is frustrating and even more so when there is a time limit set to when they really need to be trained.

My now 15 year old was 4 before he would "poop" in the potty. We never really found out why but I felt it had to do with the fact that by the time he realized it ....it was too late. I tried everything you did also and it did not work...finally he started hanging out with my dad because my husband and i worked and "presto" he was trained by him....good luck!

When my son was that age, he refuse dto potty train also. What worked for him was the fact that he was looking forward to preschool, and I told him that if he didn't use the toilet, he couldn't go to school.

Try that...hope it helps

Do you let him watch you go potty , and then show him what is in the toilet? Also
Having the underwear on is a barrier. When i let my son walk around naked , around the time i knew he usually went, he did not like the feeling of not having the barrier (underwear) there to catch it like a diaper. I scooped him up and flew him to the toilet where he was already starting to go.
A little dramatic i know, but the barrier of a diaper or underwear, can hinder because that is what they think they are for, after all for at least 2 years that has been their habit right?
Punishment only hinders them from always trying. Think of kids (and men) the same way. They like lots of praise, they love to be patted on the back, and they want to know its ok to have setbacks while they are trying so hard to please you!

I might try putting him back in diapers and only allow underwear after he poops in the potty.

I was wondering does your son go around the same time every day? My boys always go after breakfast (although they are only 11 mon. and we aren't potty training but I have 4 older children too) my idea for you is if he is on a regular "pooping" schedule try to encourage him to go sit on the potty give him a book or kids mag. and have a treat ready for him! This is hard I know Boys are harder to potty train and it takes persistance and patience and I know that it can be difficult however I read other responses and maybe one will work goodluck. H. H