My almost 3.5 year old daughter is suddenly having a difficult time at preschool. She had been very happy for the last 6 months since last September. About 3 weeks ago, the teacher told me my daughter started crying at circle time out of no reason. It turned out that she actually wanted to use the bathroom. That happened twice in one week. (Both times, she did not have accident and made it to the bathroom.) The teacher addressed in front of all the kids that she should have not cried like that and she could just raise her hand and say "I have to go." At home, my husband and I also repeated to her what teacher said. That day onward, she has to go pee all the time. I mean she goes every 15 minutes! We first thought she has UTI, so I took her to the doctor, but the test came back negative, no infection. She goes 6 times in preschool that is only 2.5 hours long... Even at home she goes every half an hour if not every 15 minutes. Since last week, the situation got worse, and she had potty accidents at preschool several times. The strange thing is that the teacher tells me my daughter does not get upset or ashamed when that happens. The accidents are happening only at circle time and never at home. She has been potty trained daytime for more than 1.5 years, and I can't believe what is happening. She now cries in the morning when I drop off at school, and she is not happy at all. The teacher is using sticker chart at school, but if the situation does not improve within a week, she told me we have to go back to pull-ups. At this point, I am confused how to treat the situation. Please help!
I'd take her back to the Pedi since she is doing this at home also. Something just doesn't sound right to me but I have absolutely no medical background. Maybe at the very least they have some idea why this is happening and advise you how to handle it.
It sounds to me like she M. have internalized something negative about the original situation, probably something that wasn't intended, and possibly something she wouldn't even be able to identify or explain. It's difficult when that happens in young children, but I've seen it and heard about it.
Play "therapy" might be one way to explore what's going on with her. You could have a 'story at the library' game; a situation just different enough to allow your daughter to stay connected and not get too anxious. Get a collection of her dolls and stuffed toys together for the story. Be the librarian and read a book, and have one or more of her dolls who need to use the potty. Try to get your daughter to provide as much of the dialogue as possible so you can hear her working through her thought processes. Her role-playing might give you a clue about whether she felt shamed, embarrassed, or any other feeling that might leave her feeling anxious. If so, you might have a better sense of how to address this problem.
I have noticed that when I'm feeling anxious, I have to pee more often. Good luck.
I totally hear you. The same thing happened to us.
First of all breathe. This is a phase and will work itself out. But you might have to intervene.
My son potty trained at 2.5. The process was fairly easy, but we did have some accidents. Then when he was about 3.5 (2 months ago) he started having major accidents. Like he would poop completely in his underpants, and not have any left to get in the bowl. It started happening 3-4 times a week, and he had pee pee accidents too. He seemed very unconcerned about it all. In fact he wuold tell us "just go and get me a new pair of underpants". We knew that he would play too long and not make it to the potty in time, but nothing seemed to motivate him.
And just like you I was physically stressed to put him back in diapers, so afraid that it would undo all the efforts we had worked so hard on. I was emotionally stressed about this. I worried that I would not put him into school in the fall. I worried about everything. Everyone said don't yell, don't talk about it, don't shame him. Keep it light and no big deal. But that just didn't work for me. In the end I did put him back in diapers. And specifically in his 18 month old brother's diapers (not the big boy pull ups that he wears overnight). He completely understood the difference between his pull ups and the 'little baby diapers'. But I told him that I would not let his brother run around in underpants because he was too little and not ready for underpants. And I said, if you aren't ready to get to the potty on time I then maybe you aren't ready for underpants either. He was sad and felt bad about himself. I didn't yell, or truly shame him in a mean way. It was one of the hardest decisions I have made as a parent.
But low and behold. It did the trick. He started getting to the potty on time and he now had a vested interest in not having accidents. It happened maybe twice in 2 months that I put a diaper on him and both times I had the same result, he got better.
In regards to your situation, it sounds like she is a little anxious about the potty because she is going so often. But don't get too stressed about the pull ups. It might be just the motivation she needs. Talk to her about the pull ups, give her a chance to pull it together before you take action. At least then she knows and you won't just be springing it on her. My son always wait until you take action--threats don't work, only action. But I have always believed that girls respond more to words.
Good luck!! I promise you--this too shall pass.
Sounds like something is happening at pres-school. I would have a long
talk with her teacher. Obviously circle time presents an uncomfortable
situation for her. Work closely with the teacher. Good luck.
This commonly happens at this age.
It will pass.
Probably happens at circle time, because she is holding it... and at this age kids don't often feel comfortable just leaving to go pee or to ask the Teacher.
Hence, they have pee accidents.
It happened to my daughter too, at that age.
They cannot gauge, how long they can hold it.
The Teacher is stressing her out about it.
The Teacher should NOT have done that to her, addressing it in front of the other kids. That is making it worse.
My Daughter's Teachers and in Preschool, treated it as NO big deal.
It is not a big deal.
Kids this age, have accidents, even if potty trained.
Really, it is the Teacher that is making it worse.
Kids this age DO have this happen.
They are still learning, how long they can 'hold' it.... and often think they can hold it longer than they can.
As I said, this happened to my Daughter at this age too. And my son.
At this age, it happens.
Even in Kindergarten and 1st Grade.
It happened to my daughter.
ALL of her Teachers said, it is OKAY. Just bring extra clothing for her to keep at school.
Even her school's Health Room, has extra clothing for the kids, in case of pee accidents.
Don't allow your daughter to feel she is 'bad'. She is not.
This is childhood.
Because the accidents only happen at school during circle time (the scene of her initial difficulty), it sounds like she's feeling stress at school. The wanting to go pee so often could be her effort to not be in such a situation again or because she's discovered she can. I'd guess she's feeling confused about what is appropriate. Perhaps she's trying out the "new rule" (new idea to her) of asking to go potty.
Have you tried talking with her about why she's going so often? Try telling a story about a little girl who is doing this. Describe the action in story form. Then ask her why the little girl might be doing this. Continue the story in a light way and "solve" the issue for the little girl. Ask your daughter for ideas. Include her in the story telling.
She could have a medical issue, too. Having to pee often can be a symptom of diabetes, for example. If she continues to need to pee this often, say in a couple of weeks, I'd talk with her doctor.
