My 3yo daughter has for the past 2-3 weeks been freaking out and having some serious crying-angry tantrums at bedtime. Everything has become a fight. This was never a problem, we'd read stories, she'd brush her teeth and that was it, she'd go to bed very peacefully. Nothing has changed in the last few weeks, if anything her daddy and I have become more vigilant about her bedtime routine. This has gotten out of control. It takes us about a hour, sometimes more to calm her down and get her in her bed. Anyone else have/had this problem?
Thanks so much!
M.
Sounds like she might be tired. It can be caused by growth spurts or big cognitive changes or just some mystery reason. Try temporarily moving her bedtime earlier. This has worked for me a bunch of times when I have encountered this situation.
Ok, I am sorry but I have to laugh at the mom who said she shouldn't be "allowed to have tantrums." Kids don't have tantrums because they are "allowed" to. Mine and plenty of others have them regardless of their parents wishes--they are just reacting out of frustration, being over-tired, hungry or whatever. The first question I would ask is "Is she still napping?" Struggles with the bedtime routine that had been non-existent before can be a sign that a child has outgrown the nap. If she is, try cutting it out for a day or two. Maybe she is just thinking, "I had a great nap and I am still ready to party. Why are these people trying to make me sleep when I am not tired?" Also, she is at the age where she probably likes the battles (if she is anything like mine) so try being more mellow as opposed to more vigilant. If it is not a huge deal that she goes to bed an hour later, let her play quietly in her room until she gets drowsy. Fighting and arguing create adrenaline in the body and it probably is harder to fall asleep after a battle. This is just my two cents. I have feisty, challenging kids and choosing my battles and being flexible has helped a lot situations in our house--as opposed to using an iron fist. I try to avoid the tantrums before they start as opposed to giving in to them once they've started. I never give in to a tantrum but you can't reason with a tantrumming child either!
She shouldn't be allowed tantrums at bedtime or any other time. Use discipline after one calm warning not to start the tantrum. If you are consistent with an immediate FIRM EFFECTIVE measure, she will stop trying it.
Just keep doing the routine you have...basically a bath, a snack, teeth, book or two, prayers and bed.
I don't think that a punishment at bedtime is going to "do the trick" Just be patient with her. Have you ASKED her what is going on? It might surprise you that she can express it?
Trying to discipline a 3 year old in the midst of a tantrum is like trying to tell a hurricane to settle down.
I have to agree with McK5. She's probably not ready for bed. Try asking her in the morning when she's fresh and happy why she doesn't like going to bed at night. You might be surprised what she'll tell you.
Is she going through the 'I'm afraid of the dark' phase? Does she have a night light in her room?
Be patient and step back a little bit. Every child is different.
