3Yr Old Transitioning to No naps...not Sleeping Well at Night?

Well I don't have anaygreat advice but I am going through the same thing. My 3 year old is not taking a nap regularly anymore. I put her down but she doesn't go to sleep most of the time. If she does take a nap then she doesn't want to go to bed at night. If she doesn't have a nap then by 7pm she is a disaster. I just wish I knew what to do. So I guess I am just wriiting because I can sympathize and I am hoping to see what others suggest. I think one issue that is making it more difficult is that I have a 6 yr old that I have to pick up from school at 2:30pm so I am having to put my 3 yr old down earlier than she is ready to nap. Good Luck!

Let me know how it goes for you, we are going through the same thing- naps every 2nd day, he as nightmares CONSISTENTLY if he doesn't nap- that is telling me that he still needs one...but he WON"T do it some days! Good luck!

Hi E.,
This might sound counter-intuitive, but try an earlier bedtime on days when he does not nap. He is probably so tired that he has adrenalin kicking in at night time, which makes it harder for him to fall asleep (I'm assuming from the apparent shift from a 7pm bedtime to an 8pm one) and stay asleep. Amazingly, an earlier bed time does not seem to lead to an earlier wake-up time according to the books I read. We found this to be true for our son. I remember going through this all too well, and other parents I spoke with at my son's preschool were going through the same thing. Most of us still put our kids down for a nap and asked them to rest quietly. The quiet time did help, though not as much as a nap. The good news is that, in a few months (yes, I realize that sounds like FOREVER when you're sleep deprived!), your son will adjust. I remember how tough it was to wait, though! Please do try an earlier bedtime. Good luck, and remember that this phase will pass.
K.

My 2 year old tries not to take her nap most days. I still make her stay in her bed though, and be quiet. I tell her that even if her eyes don't need a break, the rest of her body still needs a break. She falls asleep, even if it takes her an hour of laying there reading her books first. My personal feeling is that the more kids sleep, the more they sleep - so if they take a good nap, they will sleep better at night. I love for my kids to take naps. Even my 5 year old still takes naps on the weekends. I say hang on to that afternoon nap as long as you can. Maybe he is just going through a phase, testing you to see if it's ok not to nap. Stick to your guns and enforce naptime!

If they do not get enough sleep, the child will not sleep well, and will actually get less. I know that sounds wierd. Maybe offer him a special something from Mom, if he takes his nap. Children that age are still supposed to have 12 hours of sleep a day, I am pretty sure. If they don't get it , it actually messes up the rest of the sleep patern. Maybe offer a story time just with you, where he can sit and snuggle with you, as a special treatment for taking his nap. The book should be exciting though, maybe sounds he could push. Give him a really good, positive thing in return, for taking his nap. If that doesn't work then try putting him to bed earlier.
My son quit taking naps pretty early also. We ended up having to use an earlier bed time.
A little while before nap time, let him know it is coming, remind him of his time with Mom afterwards, and get him to start relaxing, by not stimulating his mind with other things that are exciting to a 3 yr. old.
I hope this helps.

On days he doesn't take a nap, have him sit on his bed for 10 minutes (no books or toys). I did that with both my girls and they would usually fall asleep between the 7-9 minute mark. In th event he doesn't fall asleep during that time, at last he's had time to relax and that may be just what he needs.

When my son was at that age he didn't want to take naps anymore because they were for babies. I told him he didn't have to nap but he needed to go in his room on his bed and have some quiet time. He could look at books, draw, or have one toy that he could play with (not all of those things but a choice of one). I would set the timer for 1 hour and told him when it went off his quiet time was over. More often then not he would fall asleep and I would go into his room before the timer went off and removed it. If he woke up and told me the timer didn't go off I would explain he must have been tired and when I saw he was sleeping I took the timer out of the room so it wouldn't disturb him. Sometimes he did not go to sleep but it just gave him some down time to relax and not go at full speed all day. Plus it gave me a little break also. Sometimes I would let him know I was taking some quiet time to and reading a book so he would see how important reading was to me. To encourage him to be interested in books. When I first started this with him I would let him pick out one book that I would read to him to get him quieted down. It seemed to allow him to relax and take some quiet time without feeling like he was being punished. We went to the library often and this was always a good time to let him look at the 'New" books he had picked out to borrow. My son is now 27 so it has been awhile but he still enjoys books.

My son did the same thing at age 3. He had trouble sleeping at night and his daycare had a horrible time getting him to fall asleep during nap. We stopped his nap times and he went to bed every night at 8:00 with no issues and woke up at his usual 7:30 wake up time. He might be out growing his need for naps in the afternoons. If my son is really tired then he just automatically falls asleep and we don't put him down for a nap. It makes it much easier on us and he still goes down easy at night.

Hi E.,
My daughter is on the same track. On the days she doesn't nap, I put her to bed 30-60 mins earlier. She sleeps until the same time in the morning, but only with an earlier bedtime. I have been using the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" since her birth and she has always been a good sleeper. The book says,"Sleep begets sleep" and I have found this to be SO true. As my daughter transitions to no naps, I have adjusted her bedtime earlier with great success. She falls asleep with 30 mins after I put her in bed. Give me an email if you have any questions, I am a HUGE sleep advocate and L. helping other parents.
Good luck!
L.

What about quiet time? For example, even if he doesn't actually sleep, maybe he can just be still on the sofa for an hour. I don't even know if that's an option, but it's a thought.

My oldest son who will be 5 in about a week was a really stubborn kid when it came to taking naps, so I always told him that you didnt have to sleep but you have to at least lay there or sit there and be quit, you can read books, or color, but you have to be quit, and it really seemed to work for him. 99% of the time he would go to sleep. He still is expected to have quiet time when the younger 2 are down for naps. Except now that he has a Leapster (which I LOVE) I let him play that curled up on the couch with a blanket. Occasionaly he still takes naps. That is what has worked best for my kids. I know growing up my mom always told me that i didnt have to go to sleep but i just had to lay there and rest.

At my sons preschool they have a two hour nap time but they all HAVE to lay down for an hour. After the first hour those who are awake get to get up and go play outside but the ones who are asleep get one more hour of rest. But 2 hours is the limit they get woken up if they are not awake by the 2nd hour (Thank God or we would never get them to bed at night). Sometimes my son sleeps the whole time and sometimes he is the first one ut the door after the first hour.

Sometimes they just need a little rest without sleeping, but if they know they are going to have to lay down whether they sleep or not they are more likey to let themselves fall asleep. On the other hand if they they that they will be able to get up if they stay awake they will try as hard as they can to stay awake. That is the one hour is a good length...the tired ones can hold out for an hour :)

My son had already stopped taking naps when we put him in preschool (age 3 1/2) so we were not sure how he would take going back to taking naps every day but he did well with this schedule. Weekends he doesn't normally take them but sometimes he comes and gets me and tells me he is taking a nap (now age 4). Occasionally he falls alseep while playing but not often.

I wish you the best of luck with your little man.

E.,
I went through this same thing with my daughter when she was about 3 1/2 years old. Your son probably does still need that nap, but he's probably also outgrowing nap time. What I did during this transition time...I put my daughter down for a nap, and if she napped she napped...if she didn't feel like napping, I just had her stay in her room and have "quiet time" either reading or just resting. I also put a clock in her room and told her she needed to stay put and do something quietly until the clock said 3 or whatever time. This gave me the time to have some time to myself, and her the time to rest and recharge. She just turned 4 and doesn't nap at all, but everyday after lunch it's quite time. It's a transition that I thought would come later...(my mom swears I napped until I was 5 or 6) The days he doesn't nap, maybe put him down to bed earlier and the days he does a little later... for the morning, I told my daughter if the sun isn't shining through the blinds, it's not time to get up...maybe that will help with the 5 am wake up calls! Jenifer

Hi there,
My son will be three next mo. and he has many days when he does not think that he needs a nap too, but I know that he does! So, we have made a compromise that works for us. We have "quiet time" so instead of calling it a nap he still goes to his room at 1:00 and he may choose to play quietly by himself for a while or go to sleep on his own ( he usually will fall asleep after playing for a bit) and if he doesn't fall asleep I find that 1 hour of quite time in his room is equivilent to a good nap as far as him being refreshed and not interferring with the night time schedule. Sometimes he gets upset and says that he does not need the quiet time and I just stay persistent and tell him that he does and that I do too. It is best for everyone to have a break in the day at this age!
~N.

Try having a "quiet time" where he has to stay in his room, preferably in his bed - tell him he can stay there quietly and you'll come & get him when quiet time is over. Make sure the room is dim/dark, and there aren't a lot of interesting toys around. In other words, make it boring and conducive to sleep. If he doesn't sleep, that's fine, but at least he'll get some rest.

My son went through a similar transition. He is almost 4 yrs old and started doing this pattern about a year ago. The strategy I found best was to give him 1 hour of "quiet time" a day. He can choose to nap or read books in his room. Then I (gently)wake him up at the end of the hour. That way he isn't getting too much sleep during the day and should sleep better at night. Every child is different, but I think it would be worth a try. Good luck!

Hi-I have some advise-have you ever tried laying down with your three year old? Also try putting on some quiet music, and if your child has any bed-time cuddlies like stuffed animals, that might comfer the child. Try this-I hope it works!!!

My 3 yr old just recently stopped taking her naps as well, and I also noticed that she was waking up earlier on no-nap days. In addition, it is pretty clear that my daughter gets tired in the afternoons, but she doesn't want to sleep. The one thing we do in our house is have a quiet time in place of nap time. She can play with quiet toys, read books, and on occasion, watch a movie. I tell her she needs to stay in her room and play quietly. I explain that everyone, even Mommies, need time to be quiet and relax during the day. This helps her from getting overtired during the day, which seems to help her sleep better at night. If she is too tired, then she sleeps restlessly at night, nad seems earger to wake up too early. If she does get up too early for the rest of the family, we have her play quietly until it is time for everyone else to wake up. Hope that helps some. Good luck.

I would try putting him to bed earlier on the days he does not nap. My son misses a nap once in a while and I find that he generally sleeps terribly those nights--not only does he wake up earlier but he wakes up multiple times during the night too, which he normally does not do. He does better if I put him to bed a good hour earlier than normal. Good luck.

I say give him that nap.... my son napped most days until he was nearly 6!!! Once he started kindergarten he was only napping 20-30 minutes, but it helped him get thru the rest of the day. He was always much happier if he got his sleep! He is in college now, but always has been one of those kids who slept 10-12 hours every night, most of the way thru high school.... some of us just need more sleep!

Hi E.:
A 3 year old still needs a nap everyday. The naps may be shorter than in the past... but he needs a nap. Even if he doesn't sleep, let him lay down to have a "quiet relaxing time." It may take creating a peaceful environment: darken the room, turn off the tv, the radio, any other distractions from elsewhere: let everything else come to a slow down - and so will he.

Pretty much at age 3, you are still setting the "schedule" for him. So he may have figured out that you aren't sure he needs a nap, so he's not sure if he should take one.

Our little ones are sooooo smart.

R.