4 1/2 Month Old Boy: Early Morning Waking; 2 Yr Old Boy Night Cries!

Hi M.,

I agree that maybe he is going to bed too early. Maybe try keeping him up a little later and giving him a bottle a little later. This may eliminate the overnight feeding and when he wakes up he will be hungrier and take a fuller bottle. Does he take a pacifier? Maybe just giving him that instead of a bottle overnight might calm him and help him go back to sleep. He might be hungrier in the morning that way.

M.-

Like other mammas out there, I also have a 5 month old and 2 y.o boy. I have to agree with most repsonses about keeping an early bedtime. My husband and I are both believers in Weisbluth method. Right now I am trying to get my little guy to only want to eat once in the night. We are in the middle of crying it out. A few weeks ago one of use would go in the room to give him the pacifier, but he just seemed to cry louder when we would enter. There were a few weeks ago that he was doing really good (down at 6:15 sleeping until 4 am, up to feed then down till 6 or so) but one little cold has thrown him off. I had the same problem with the older son, but after about a week of letting him cry it out he has been a good sleeper. Both boys go down for bed between 6:30 and 7. I agree with one mamma about trying to ignore until 6 am. Due to work schedules there is one morning during the week that we need to get out of the house by 6:20 am so my 2 y.o.has been stuck on getting up 5:30 am no matter what time he goes to bed...we have tried. So, needless to say I can emphasize with the lack of sleep. Speaking of it is 9 pm...past my bedtime.

Good Luck...there will be an end sometime.

Have you tried putting him to bed later? My seven month old doesn't go to bed until around 9:30 or 10 PM. He's usually up around 8 AM. He should soon be breaking that late night feeding also. I'm a believer that if babies are sleeping, don't wake them! But be sure they are up for a good four hours before going to sleep for the night.

As for the two year old . . . just like infants they need to learn to calm themselves. Maybe, just maybe, try leaving him alone one night when he wakes up. Does he have a favorite toy or blanket? Something he can feel comforted by, other than Mom or Dad?

Just some thoughts. I hope they help.

C.

Hi M.,
I have a 4,5 month old boy too and also a 2 years old daughter... and we are also temporarily in the States without family... so I can understand what you feel...
I think your little one goes to bed too early. I put my son down at 9:00 after his evening bottle, and he sleeps until 6:30 or 7:00 without drinking in the night. SOmetimes he is very active in his bed during the night but he falls asleep alone, but I agree it is not very easy to ignore. My daughter started to cry in the night when Henri was born. I think she is dreaming and sometimes it seems that she "wants to have time with me alone". But I also do not know how to handle this. Sorry...

All the best
S.

Sometimes babies will wake up because they aren't getting enough sleep... I know that probably sounds silly, but try putting him to bed EARLIER tonight and see what happens. It sounds like this might be the case with him since he will wake up for a little while in the morning and then fall back asleep.
If earlier is not possible, try to let him take a longer nap or more naps during the day to change his schedule.

I know this probably didn't help much... just push MORE sleep with him altogether instead of less, since you have tried that already.

My other suggestion is to co-sleep and bring him to bed with you so you can get some rest! Babies always sleep more peacefully when they are with their mothers.

-Amanda

M.,
With all of the changes in your lives which you have described, there is NO WAY that your kids will be sleeping well right now. Plus, though you have tried so many different methods, they are, well, many different methods. For example, the swaddling method is very different from the Weissbluth method. Your children are surely confused and exhausted, as are you and your husband. The cry it out "methods" are heartbreaking and inhumane. All babies and young children cry for a reason---THEY NEED YOU!!! These methods are not successful. Rather,the babies eventually stop crying because they learn that you have abandoned them by not answering their cries. They are too young to manipulate you by crying and screaming. If you want to help everyone at your house, you should co-sleep, or sleep where your children can see you. They need to know you are there. Also, the baby is way too young to be on any kind of schedule. I know this is not what you want to be reading, but if you make a few changes like I have mentioned, I promise you that things will be better at your house. If you take my advice, do it for a few weeks, since you have been trying so many different approaches.
Amy

I can only give a little advice for your 4 1/2 month old as I am a mom to a 10 month old. I would have to say that putting him to bed at 7:00 is rather early. When my son was that young he would stay up until 9:00 or 10:00 and then sleep until 2:00 and then get up again for a bottle and then sleep until 7:30. Now that he is 10 months he goes down every night at 9:00 and is up at 7:30 the next morning. He gets two naps a day, but has never really been a good napper. He takes a nap around 10:00 a.m. for an hour or so and then another nap around 2:00 p.m. for another hour. And every now and then he will take a third nap around 6:30, but that is only for about 30 minutes tops. I hope this info. helps. Good luck!!!

Unfortunately, you are going to get all kinds of different advice. You know your children, so do what you think would work best. I can only tell you that you aren't alone. I had the same problem and I am sure I will have it again here soon due to a baby coming in 5 weeks. When my son was born, several months later my daughter kept waking up almost every night. Either scared of something, night terrors, or leg cramping. I tried putting a night light in her room~ made things worse. So then I got the "scary spray" which really seemed to help her problems. I am not saying that every once in a while she doesn't wake up scared but it is few and far between. Now my son up until 10months was a horrible sleeper. He would always wake up at 3am and scream for hours (like 2-3)nothing would console him. He also had reflux and I found out later a milk intolerance. However, once we had all those under control he still would wake up not screaming but just be up to the day. I was absolutely exhausted and my marriage was also paying the price. I finally decided to be firm with my son. I truly believed he was spoiled from all the attention he got due to his medical problems prior. So I put him in the basement so that my daughter could not hear him (because I think that was really scaring her)and he slept in the pack-n-play. It sounds horrible because he would scream for an hour. I knew he was safe though and he wasn't hungry. If you know your son can sleep a certain amount without eating then he always should be able to sleep that same amount without problems. He now sleeps from 8-7am. Except when he is sick then we go through the same problems over again, and have to do the same cure. Anyways, that took about 1 week to cure him and not any longer. It really surprised me and now when we have to start over, immediatly he stops crying when he goes into his pack-n-play. I don't know if this will help you but I feel for you because it is very hard on both you, your husband, and your other child. Good Luck!
D.

I am having a similar problem with my 5 month old daughter. She wakes up each night at 4:30, give or take an hour. All the posts that suggest to put him to bed later I don't agree with. 1) The books say to put the child to bed early - 6:30 or 7 which is when mine goes to sleep. Sleep begets sleep. Putting them down later does not necessarily mean a later rise. 2) My child is tired at 7. If I were to try to keep her up, she would be crabby and miserable so I put her down when she's ready. I have read the Weissbluth book as well as Ferber's - I prefer the Ferber method better. We have weaned her off her night feedings (she would take 2) and now when she wakes she only gets water. Hopefully the last waking will go away soon - we ignore unless she gets too upset to the point we know she can't calm herself down. Sometimes she is wet which wakes her but Ferber says that will go away when the night feedings go away and lately she has been drier. I wish you luck and will keep reading responses as there may be a better solution for getting mine to sleep through.

Both of our girls (now 3 and 16 months) had early bedtimes (6:30ish) and around the same age went through a 4 am phase of waking up and talking -- not hungy or upset, just vocalizing. We tried everything too, and then after consulting our Weissbluth book, finally decided to we had to ignore to try and extinguish the behavior. We both work full time and desperately needed the sleep. We used earplugs (recommended by my OB who has 4 young kids of her own) to drown out the loud talking and squeals. Eventually both girls kicked the 4 am wake-up and slept til 6 or 6:30. Now our house "rule" is anyone awake before 6 am gets ignored (unless they are sick or frightened by a bad dream or storm). It may sound tough, but both our girls are now great sleepers, love their own beds, and will often wake up and look at books rather than calling for us. In contrast, my nephew was an early riser and his dad used to get up with him every day at 5 and play. He is now 5 years old and still waking up at 5 am.

Re: your 2 year old, I recall that Weissbluth has some good advice for dealing with older kids and the endless bedtime curtain calls.

Every child is wired differently so what worked for us may not work for you. I wish you the best of luck – and a good night of sleep!

M.,

Hi, boy you do have your hands full. For your 2 yr old maybe his nap is to late in the day. When my girls were 2 they no longer took naps. Then they would be tired at the end of the day and would sleep all night waking about 6:30 am the next for me to get into working out of the home mode. Worked great.
As for your littlest one, hummm if I read your post you put him to bed at 7:00 pm I think that is a bit early. I have read before that moms had placed their children in the same age range in bed by 11:00 and that was with a last bottle. Things are very different now then when I was bringing up my girls who are now 22, 17 & 15. There were no methods or books that I would use.

J.
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