4 1/2 Yr Old Now Afraid to Sleep in His Room Alone

When Olivia was afraid of monsters in her room, three tactics worked for me:
I would "call" Mrs Monster on the phone to tell her to come get her kids. I would have a pretend conversation w/ her about how her kids were scaring Olivia, etc.
I would put a doll in charge of keeping the monsters away. I would "talk" to the doll about their respondsilbity, etc.
And I would use "monster" repelent to keep them away. It was a plant sprayer with water in it, but I told Olivia it was monster repelent.

Good luck!

We are just getting over the same thing. We used "monster spray" - a squirt bottle (we had it empty, but you could put water in it) and squirted the spots that the monsters were. Maybe that will work.

Monsters have been very real for my son (now almost 5) since he was 3. It doesn't matter if I think they don't exist, they are real to him. From the beginning we "armed" him with "monster go-away dust". It is just pretend, but we made a big act of handing him pretend bags of the dust and we would both throw handfuls at any monsters he spotted. We would run around tossing it in every dark corner. It worked great! Soon he stopped talking about the monsters except for occasionally when he will mention he is out of "dust" and I will pretend to pull 3 more bags out of my pockets. He still talks about monsters but now there are more nice monsters and fewer scary/mean monsters.

Whatever method you choose, make a huge production out of ridding his room of monsters...make it fun and light hearted (but thorough).

Good luck.

Write up a quick recipe for "Monster Keep-away Spray" and tell your son about it.

Water mixed with Vanilla and nice spices, or Water with a little lavender in it. Make it smell nice.

Then, get a water bottle and have your son help you make the spray using your recipe. Then, at night, you can sprits it around his room before bedtime and if he gets scared at night, he'll have the spray in his room at night as a weapon against the monsters...but assure him that this keeps monsters away. This worked with my daughter at 4 and now, she's not scared of her room anymore.

Move his bed in with his 2 year old brother. It is best to honor the fears of children.

This may be a stage, or something frightened him that is manifesting itself this way. We lived in a house a few years ago that I loved, but for some reason my husband & kids always felt uncomfortable in it. My daughter, who was 8 at the time, refused to sleep in her own room in that house! We had a minister over to bless the house & that helped, but they all disliked the atmosphere in that house until we moved.

I also remember myself as a kid just knowing that a monster was watching me while I slept. I don't remember when it started, but it continued until I was in the upper elementary grades! I think it did get worse after my older siblings moved out (leaving me on the upper floor alone). I survived, but if it would make him feel more secure & wouldn't cause too much trouble, it might be worth it to move him in with his brother!

T.,
I think they all go through this phase. My son slept wonderfully - without a nightlight even - until around that age when the shadows started catching his attention. They have such good imaginations! We got a dim nightlight and a child's flashlight (to scare away monsters -- they don't like light!). Get the kind that will automatically shut off after a few minutes so you don't burn through batteries if they fall asleep with it on -- Like Fischer Price. Although we didn't use it, I've also heard that "monster spray" (aka water bottle and a little something to scent it) works wonders when sprayed around the room a bit before going to bed. Good luck!
T.

He might just be going threw a phase. Let him sleep in the same room as his 2 yr old brother, there is no harm in feeling comfort knowing someone else is in the same room as you and you are not alone. He is little yet. Soon enough he will be independent and NEVER want to sleep in the same room as his brother or anyone. As long as he is sleeping good where ever he sleeps: in the brother's room, on the sofa, where ever just be happy he is happy and feels safe. Sometimes you can make a pretend monster tonics out of household ingredients. I would search the internet, I am sure some moms out there have great get-rid-of-monster mixes. Good luck!

T.,

You've got some good recommendations about how to keep his room a happy, inviting place. I would say whatever you decide to do, lovingly help him work through and overcome his fear. Don't do things that would make him think the monsters are really there and need to be avoided. This is a passage of childhood. We have got to learn to work through what we are afraid of as a part of growing up.

Good luck,
S.

My youngest is now 9 and last year had the hardest time sleeping in her room regularly. she wouldn't say why unless it was coming to our room in the middle of the night due to a bad dream, but even then she won't say what the dream is about. She often slept on the floor in our room or when I said enough of that she moved out onto the couch. It wasn't worth the fight to me but when school started I was more insistant she sleep in her own bed bc she would toss so much on the couch. Maybe she tosses that much in bed too, idk. Her covers usually fall off. She's now taking medicine for anxiety since we were having problems with going to school as well and life is much much easier for her, including bed time.

I don't think it's a bad thing to let him sleep with his younger brother if it makes him feel more secure. But probably try the monster spray, or if you are spiritual that God /Jesus is always watching over him and protects him from any harm and pray for good dreams when you tuck him in at night.

when my second child was born I was kinda concerned about sharing a room, we have a two bedroom apt. I really love them sharing a room, my older daughter always asks where her brother is when it is bedtime. They love talking to each other at night when they are going to bed. I was concerned about my younger son waking up my daughter but she either sleeps through him waking up or goes right back to bed.

Prayer and restful distracting music are the best methods I have ever found to calm the mind and relieve fears from 'monsters' or bad dreams. If all else fails, is there really a problem with him sleeping in the same room as his younger brother? I know that these things are usually just a phase and will pass with time. If the additional comfort of having another person in the room is enough to help him sleep, why not just let it happen for a while (even if it takes a year or two). You might try working with him to clear the room of the areas where he feels the 'monsters' are located.
Best wishes!

maybe he is hearing your husband come home during the middle of the night and because he is half asleep thinks it is some kind of monster coming in...it is a real fear for kids!!

What is the harm of him sleeping in his brothers room?? Make up a little sleeping bag bed (not too comfortable though...) and keep him on a regular bedtime routine. this may help him sleep better and once his confidence is back up, he will go back to his more comfortable bed.

If you're not worried about him waking his brother, I'd say let him bunk down in there! We have a new baby and I've been worried about her two older brothers accepting having to share a room eventually, so I'm delighted that yours suggested it. If you don't think that's practical, I agree on a good night light or the right to turn on his light. My 2-year-old went through some nighttime screaming, but it stopped as soon as we moved his bed so he could reach the light switch. Now he knows he can always sleep with the light on.

Also, it's possible that it's not monsters he's afraid of but rather something he can't articulate. In that case, when I know I can't address the actual fear because he's not certain what it is, I find offering choices can help. For example, if he says he's too scared to sleep in his room, I might say he can sleep in his brother's room (maybe in a toddler bed or something that's not that exciting; my kids think sleeping bags are the greatest thing ever), or else he can sleep in his room with the lights on. Whatever choices work for you. But the important thing is that although he gets to choose, you're the one who sets up the choices, so it's only between approved options. Good luck!

If he is afraid of monsters, check out the book "Monster Socks" by Renee Gille. It is a cute book about a child afraid of the monster under his bed. He trys to figure out what to do to keep the monster away. He invents a pair of glowing socks. Our grandson loved the book, which comes with a pair of socks that glows in the dark.
This might help.

I can't speak from personal experience because I haven't had to deal with that issue.

If he is truly scared of monsters (and not just making it up so he can have his way) - you could try Monster Spray. I've heard of other parents doing this. Fill a spray bottle with water and mark it "Monster Spray" or whatever. Tell him it is a special spray that monsters hate so it keeps them away. Every night you 2 can spray in the closet, under the bed, and anywhere else he's scared the monsters are lurking. Keep it by his bed - so if he wakes up in the night he has it.

I've heard of this working for other people, but as I was writing it, it made me question if this was the best idea. It is just confirming that there are monsters. However, if you've tried explaining there's no such thing as monsters, and he's still scared, it may be worth a try.

OMG - I had forgotten all about this until just now - when by daughter was about 4, she was scared of monsters for a short time. I told her that it was Mike & Sulley (from Monsters, Inc.) that were in her room- & they would chase away the bad monsters like Randall. That worked for her.

I recomend moving him into the same room as his brother.

Most kids have to share a room and have better sibling connections because of it. It makes them more secure having someone there with them.

Think about it. Don't you feel better sharing a room with your husband. Everyone wants a companion.

When they get older and need their own space then they can move into seperate rooms again.

Seems that it may have become a habit and saw that the monster thing worked and pushed the right button with mom... being consistant and starting for scratch. Doing fun things in the evening in his room, playing, reading books, making a fort...
Possibly buying his a special night light that he picks out that really talked up! Menards has some really cute ones that I saw when we were there last. Maybe even watching Monsters Inc. showing him how fun monsters are and that they can even be afraid of US!!!

Try "monster spray" I used a trigger spray bottle filled with water and a squirt of my perfume. A friend of mine used an air freshner, she covered the can with a piece of paper with the words Monster Spray written on it. Spray the childs room with it. I would spray the floor and around the bed telling my son that monsters could not cross the spray. My friend would spray the air in the room and as long as her daughter smelled the air freshner she new that monsters could not come in. It sounds simple but it works.

Let them sleep together! Kids who bunk together learn to get along better and do better if they go away to college. You can't reason with a fearful four year old. Give him what he needs - company - and it will pass.

SAHM of seven

My 4 year old JUST went throught this. I feel your pain. My husband and I "pretended" to talk amongst ourselves about the really big man we hired to come to the house and take away all the bad dreams from my son's room. I knew he was listining and the next day he started asking when the guy was coming and how big is he? Was he bigger than all the monsters? So one day when he was at school, I told him that "Jim" the big bad dream catcher came and wrestled all the bad dreams out of our house and sprayed all around so no bad dreams could come back in the house. He really fell for this and liked this idea and is back in his own bed now for at least the last week.

Good Luck.

I know of a few kids that are that same way. Kids do have big imaginations but there are many things that can scare kids in there room at night.

One thing they talked about at my church was dream catchers. If you have any in your child's room or in our house they could be causing your child to be scared. Try removing them as see if it makes a difference or not.

My sister's two daughters have there own rooms but they choose to share rooms. Sometimes it helps make them feel more secure with having someone else in the room.

A flashlight shaped like a character, a nightlight in his bedroom, and low wattage table lamp in the hall between bedrooms helped alot. Soft soothing music on the really bad nights has worked. Also, we do a "walk-through" and check in all of the places monster likes to hang out to reassure him "no monster." Last but not least, our small one has carte blanche to turn on the regular lights if he gets frightened and needs to see his room is free and clear.

Dear T., I'm a mother of 3 daughters...28 years old. 25 years old and 21 years old. I have learned a lot over the years and would like to go back and redo some things. One of them is in this area of your sons problems. Children can see spiritual beings...angels, demons (monsters). So believe your son, pray together about the situation, read the scripture that says that "greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world". So God is greater and more powerful. Also, there are angels protecting him and watching over him. Another scripture that "He will never leave us or forsake us". Also that He will give his beloved sleep. So talk to your son, pray with him, calm his fears. If it helps to sleep somewhere else for a while, what can that hurt? Reassure him that Jesus is with him everywhere, and often we need Jesus with skin on...a person to comfort us. So rest in the Lord and know that God will help you through this hurdle. Blessings, R.