4-Yr Old Pooping in Panties

Hi K., The same thing happened in my family years ago. My second son was 3 and had been trained for a good while. His baby sister was 1 and he started deliberately pooping in his pants. The Dr said he was jealous of the baby and thought she got more attention. We started to pretend to train her. Put her on the potty and make a big fus about what a big girl she was. I guess he decided he did not want to be the only baby and after a while he was back on the tiolet. Yes it takes lots of patience to be a parent. We really don't know what goes on in their little minds. We can only love them through these issues. (this is not to say I did not get frustrated too)Grandma Mary

i heard a few 'experts' tell parents to make the child clean it up themselves if they are well-trained. once they see it's yucky to deal with, it usually stops. it's probably just because of the baby. is she home with you or at school. i know we are all very trusting, but it is a sign of stress. i would try to talk to her a little more.

My daughter had the same issue starting around the same time, and we are still dealing with it almost 4 years later! Long story short, what would happen is she would get constipated and push out hard, big stools which would stretch her rectum. Now she cant feel it when she goes, and it seems to just leak out. We saw a GI specialist and they have her doing a colon cleanse. Its been a nightmare. I feel your pain. Just want you to know what happened with us so you can rule it out. I thought it was a behavioral thing at first until we saw the doctor.

I wouldn't suggest putting her back into pull-ups that may be what she wants. Maybe the regression has to do with her baby brother. I am sure it is just a phase. Try not to give it any attention. When she does it don't say a word just change her and go about your business. Maybe if you don't address it you will not feed into the attention she is looking for. Or you can try a reward chart. Tell her if she goes on the potty she will get a sticker. After 3 stickers she gets to go for ice cream with just mommy alone. That may be incentive for her. First because she gets ice cream and second because she gets alone time with mommy. I am sure it will pass but I wouldn't put her back in diapers or pull-ups. Good luck!!!

talk to her and tell her that she will have to wear diapers again llike you son.. only when she does it.. put them on.. #1 they will be to small.. #2 she won't like them. and hopefully she'll stop doing this and will start using hte potty... ask her to use the potty or just put her on every 2 hours.. and see how it goes.. good luck

If she's having poop accidents and saying she didn't have enough time to get to the bathroom, she may have a condition called encopresis. Check out these links to see if it sounds like it could be the problem:

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/WELCOME/conditions/encopre...

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html

I would also suggest the reward chart for going in the potty. This would give her an incentive to pay attention to her body and go in the potty. Remind her in the mornings when she wakes up that she wants to get a sticker that day, and praise her when she accomplishes it.

Good Luck!
D.

Hi K.

Your daughter might be feeling like she is not the baby anymore sought of like a phase of jealousy. Try to give her some more attention-- make her feel like she is mom's baby like before you gave birth to your son.

Hi K.,

I wonder if she is feeling conflicted about being a big girl and feels
conflicted about not being the baby anymore. Maybe you could ask her if it
is hard not being the youngest and hard not being the only child.

Good lucj,

K.

My suggestion is going to sound really ridiculous, but it worked for me with my child. Children love games, so I made up this exciting game! He had to be sure to tell me when he had to make poopies, then we both quickly went into the bathroom for him to sit on the toilet-seat, and make poopies in the toilet. After cleaning up, (now comes the fun part!) it was his important role to put his hand on the toilet-handle, to flush the toilet, as we both stood there clapping our hands,waving,and saying "Good-bye" to the poopies as they swirled around,going down the toilet, out of sight! (I told you this was ridiculous! Try not to laugh too hard!) However, this 'game' worked!!! Isn't it worth a try?! Good luck!

I would start wth your pediatrician to rule out any medical issues.

It definitely sounds like an adjustment to the attention her brother gets, but this doesn't mean she's in complete control of the situation, it may be happening on a sub-concsious level.

I would try the sticker reward chart for going in the potty and I would try to schedule some one on one mother-daughter time, even if it's just one hour on the weekend, where someone else attends to all your sons needs, and you focus on your daughter and doing something special with her. This can be reading, playing a game she likes, going out for a treat, just make sure, she knows it is her time, and don't let your son's needs get in the way.

I agree with Rhannie, eliminate all diet or LITE foods from her diet. These actually work as a laxative with some people and she could be having that reaction to those foods. Next time you go shopping look down the aisles at all the foods that now offer these 'varieties' it's a little scary. See if that helps.

Just because the poop isn't soft doesn't mean it's not coming out fast, so don't write off what she's saying yet. She could be having a reaction, sensitivity or adjustment period.

Has she been constipated recently? Has she been sick recently? Has anything in her diet/environment changed recently? New cleaners, new detergents, etc can cause reactions in the digestive system. Drinking more liquids, any extra mucilage in her diet (okra, flax, etc), more ferments/pickles in her diet, maybe more fruit than she's used to eating, higher % of raw veggies in her diet. . . all of these tend to speed along the elimination process and she may need extra time to adjust and learn how fast she needs to get to the toilet.

Also consider possible emotional stressors on her.

When she has an accident, try to not show your disappointment and frustration, but talk to her gently and find out how she feels when she has an accident. Also see if she knew she has to go, but was delaying it, absorbed in what she was doing or if she suddenly needed to go (if it's the latter look for a possible reaction to something in her diet/environment). If her BMs are fairly consistent (ie morning/ evening/ etc) try to help her predict when she'll need to go, so she can "plan" on a longer potty sitting (ie take a picture book or something to keep herself occupied for a few extra minutes instead of rushing back to whatever she was playing with before).

As far as trying to take care of her pants herself goes, it sounds like she is reacting to your disappointment that she didn't go in the potty. So your best bet is to gently explain to her that you want to help her get over having accidents in her pants and figure out why they are happening and find a solution that will help her avoid them in future. When she tries to clean herself off, remind her that you WANT to help her clean up when there is an accident and she doesn't need to be embarrassed with you because of it.