4 Year Old Boys and Learning...

what is the school saying? are they worried? I know when they test for kindergarten, they ask them all the shapes, circles, square, ... , they will pick a few letters and ask them what they are, they will ask their name, where do they live, who lives with them, do they know a phone number or address.. one or the other..not both, they will ask them colors, they will ask them to print their name first only.. so these are things he will have to know. Kindergarten is harder then when we went. It seems like he has most of the stuff down... but the stuff you need to advance in school you need to work on.. good luck. My son and daughter were the same when it came to school work.. and learning. Is he born later in the year... like July, Aug, Sept. Some people hold kids back if the are born near the school cut off..

Mine is only three but I think your son sounds great! I think if he wasn't verbal or didn't seem to respond to being called etc then you might need to think on that. But it seems like he is just a really rambunctious boy and hasn't gotten too concerned about school work yet. When I was a kid, things geared up at kindergarten but now I think all of us are a bit guilty about seeing what our kids can do at the earliest age possible. My three year old does different things but I remember I was talking to a friend one time and she started saying all the things her son could do at two yrs old and mine couldn't do a lot of the stuff hers could. But other people would meet my son and marvel that he was only two. To me, your son sounds great and I think he is probably just a sporty dude:) My son was very capable at handling his body and playing very early on. Anyway, I think he sounds fine...take care!!

A few things come to my mind. First, all the standard evaluations for IQ and academic acheivment are normed without any regard to gender, so let that steriotype go, it makes no difference if you have a boy or a girl or what their birth order is, though many seem to think so, and that kind of thinking can lead you to ignore things that you should not.

However, he is just 4. That you are not seeing signs of early accelorated learning, precocious learning, or early giftedness does not mean that he is behind. At this point, if he had issues, they would be more basic, speech, receptive langague, expressive langague, fine motor, gross motor, basic intelegence, adaptive behavior, and age appropriate social and behavioral skills. You just cannot judege any issue for things like knowing how to write his name, until this is a skill that is expected for his age. Some children can, but, the good news for you is that giftedness is not identified at this age. Some children learn quickly, some do not, but by and large, most kids will even out and all be at about the same place by the end of 3rd grade, begining 4th. That is when good gifted programing begins. You have no idea at this point if he will fit that category or not, but neither do the parents of kids who can recite the alphebet at age 2, it feels good, and parents push for it, but it really makes no difference.

The only think I see that would make me concerned is that you seem to be saying that he has had a lot of instruction in writing, he has no memory issues, and yet he has not developed automaticity in writing letters. It is way to soon to say, but if this continues to be an issue beyond kindergarten, then you will want to address it. This is an issue that can be remediated wtih OT. Since you indicate that he is an auditory learner, he may just have a relative weakness (not a disablity) in visual learning, and therefore does better with verbal instructions for visual tasks. You would need to pinpoint exactly what the issue is to remediate, and he may develop enough other skills to compensate, and if it is not a frustration for him, he will go on to develop the skills.

I guess what I am saying is, just provide him an enriched environment and keep an eye out once he starts school. If any teacher tells you that he is not doing something he should be, pay attention. If he does not take to kindergarten tasks easily, then it is time to begin to evaluate your options. At his age, unless you have more global behavioral issues, or a speech and langague issue that is effecting all areas of development, there is no need to focus on intelectual peaks and dips or academic hicoughs just yet.

M.

Okay, first let me share with you one of the neatest things I got to experience while doing daycare with three 3yr olds (one of which was my son.) The little girl could recognize all the letters of the alphabet, the other little boy couldn't but could make connections between things like why that action caused the other reaction (actually, he's 17 now and probably going to earn an academic scholarship), while my son could do a puzzle like you wouldn't believe! Three totally different kids, three totally different skills. All normal kids. Your son might not have the skills yet because honestly, there not important to him. I would really wait to see how he does in kindergarten because he will be so different! Sounds like you are laying a great foundation for him by the games you play.

You sound worried and that is all that matters.

Contact your local school district's Early Childhood Family Education services (it might be called something else in PA) and ask to have him assessed. More than likely, they will tell you he is tracking just fine for kindergarten next fall.

Your son is way a head of my 4 1/2 year old son. My son can write the first letter of his name only. He knows his basic shapes and colors and some numbers. He can recognize only the letters of his name (that I can tell- he is a jokester and will deliberately get the questions wrong for a laugh). His teacher says that he is trying hard and will probably have a burst in maturity in the next few months. He hates sitting in the circle for more than a minute, and is very physical with an immense aptitude for sports. My daughter went through kindergarten last year, and they spent most of the year reviewing shapes, numbers and how to write letters. there is a difference between girls and boys. my daughter was so far ahead of my son at this age. But they all have their strengths and weaknesses, he can already do math much better than she can. I don't think you have anything to worry about. If you look at the other boys in his class that are around his age, you will probably find that most are at the same level as your son.

I think kids develope differently. If your school doesn't have parent/teacher meeting maybe you should request one to see what they think. Also when he goes to the doctor he/she will usually be helpful in telling you what things your son should know how do at age 4.
My some is 4 1/2 and he can spell his name (it's easy though only 4 letters). He can count to 100 (then count by 100's..like 100, 200, 300 etc). He has trouble with some colors. He know's his birthday and our names and he can say the alphabet (of course I've been singing it to him since he was a baby)
My son goes to school 5 days a week and his school is pretty structured. He also has a sister who's 4 years older, so she likes to "teach" him things and I think that helps. My son on the other hand is very timid and not your 'typical' boy.
It sounds like your son is smart and likes to learn about the things that are of interest to him.
I think kids learn at differnt paces. But it sounds like you do have some concern, so i would just check with the school and doctor. They can probably ease your mind.

You & your son's father are obviously very bright people. Use your instincts on this one....you are concerned enough to post a question on this site so I would advise you to get him tested. Call your school district, they will test him for free (i.e. w/ your tax money) and make a professional determination. I see no harm in getting him tested...and he will probably think it's fun. The worst thing to do, like you said, is hope it's "normal" and learn one day it's not. I have an almost 4 1/2 yr. old boy & 2 yr. old girl...but I won't compare them as kids are all different. I will say that my MIL is a 1st grade teacher and she has stated that some kids in her class do not recognize all their letters. However, I would recommend you taking him for an evaluation just to be on the safe side. It can't hurt.

Wow that was a lot to process. Just keep working with him. I started teaching my children at age 2 colors numbers shapes, ABC'S. In Kindergarten they want them to know their colors basic shapes, count to at least 20, and be able to print their names, you don't want to drill him, kids learn when they are having fun, if you drill you will take the fun out of the picture, and then he may not want to try anymore. As far as reading make sure he is actually reading and not memorizing, my daycare little girl that just turned 5 October 15 read me a story off of her home work, but I had her read it to me backwards to see if she really could read it and she could not. it sounds to me like you are doing all the right things, just keep doing it, and see how much he learns by kindergarten, because my daycare little girl could not print her name when she started, and could not recongnize all her numbers and letters, even though I worked with her everyday, but 2 weeks after school started she amazed me. My first born learned quicker than my second and third child, they are all different. Hope this helps. J.

Take a deep breath. Here's my suggestion... schedule a meeting with the preschool teacher and see what she says. Preschool teachers are very in-tune with "what's okay" and what isn't, especially the year before children go to Kindergarten.

I would also suggest contacting your local school district and finding out the process for having your child evaluated for preschool special education services. I know that this sounds scary, but the evaluators are the only ones who can really answer this question for you. The testing is extensive, but in the end you will have a comprehensive picture of your son as a learner. If he needs additional supports, then he will get them. If he doesn't, then you can relax a little bit knowing that you have a "benchmark" in place in case an issue arises when he is school-aged.

One of my very favorite Kindergarten teachers used to tell parents... that preschool is for "learning how to learn and be in a community", not for reading, writing and math. That will come when they are ready and every child is different. I loved working with her b/c as a school psychologist she kept ME in perspective!

Hi L.,

My 4 1/2 y/o son started Jr. Kindergarten this Fall. Within the first couple of weeks a flyer came home listing "homework" to do at home. One of them was to practice writing his name Upper Case first letter, then all lower case and name, address, number.

My son was already writing his name in all upper case so I started having him practice in lower case. A couple weeks later my son was sitting down to practice his name and he said his teacher was having him practice in all upper case at school with all the other kids. Well I was confused and emailed his teacher.

She said that none of the other kids knew how to spell their names yet and as a group are teaching them upper case first. It’s called “Writing without tears”. She said this is what they would LIKE (not required) them to know by start of Kindergarten next Fall. This made me laugh because my son never went to preschool so I had been teaching him his letters, writing, math, colors, shapes, etc. at home because I thought he HAD to know all of it BEFORE starting Jr. Kindergarten! LOL!

By the way all the kids in his class are 4-5 years old turning 6 next year and my son also goes 3 half days a week. SOOOOO your son is fine!

Another thing that came to mind was instead of asking him “What town do we live in?” just continually during the day whether in the car or out and about say “We live in such and such town. What town do we live in?” That way he’ll have just heard it. Before long you can just ask “What town do we live in?” and he’ll get it! Do the same with your name and anything else =-)

My son learned his address, phone number and DOB because I wrote it all in black marker on large art paper then taped it to our wall so he saw it everyday and I would point to it and repeat it with him constantly by singing it or dancing around. After a few months I took the paper down and asked him and he repeated everything verbatim but it took a lot of repetition. We still practice all the time but I make a game out of it.

Your son sounds fine! Just keep doing what you are doing being so involved with his learning! Repetition is key!!

L.,
OK...first of all are you running for ANY politaical office this year or in 2012, because if you are, and you can pay this much attention to any social issues--I want YOU looking into it! LOL
Seriously, He sounds like a lively, bright kid to me.
As O. other PP mentioned, the small, teeny, tiny thing that I might look into is his manual dexterity. My son (at about age 4) received some OT for fine motor issues. His hands would ache when he tried to write, he had difficulty buttoning buttons, pulling up a zipper by the small tab, etc. He HATED to color, draw, write, etc. It just hurt him to do it. So he avoided those activities like the plague.
OT really did help him with his hand/finger strength.
Otherwise, he sounds like a typical 4 yo to me.
I think you're going to see a big difference in his abilities in Kindergarten. It's way more structured (whether he likes it or not!) and most of the kids are reading well by mid-year. Stop worrying!