4 Year Old Drama Queen

She is plenty old enough to tell her that it has to stop, period. You can teach her out of it with a sticker reward chart for doing things like getting dressed, picking up toys, staying in bed all night, etc. Or, you can tell her you're putting a new knob on her bedroom door (on the inside) so she cannot open the door herself, and listen to the screaming a night or 2. They also make clocks for toddlers that tell them when it's OK to get up. Right now, she's running the show. You have to take charge of the situation.

Make sure that there is no noise/light/disturbance that is waking her at night. I agree that starting the bed time routine an hour earlier may help. Sleep deprivation is horrible and can cause sleep disruption. When is she eating her last meal and snack and what is it? I am a family food coach and I have found that often if a child is eating fruit or sweet treats too close to bed time that it causes such disruption. Also monitor her food throughout the day. Is she getting enough exercise? Most importantly you need to take control back. I have learned with my 3 1/2 year old that if I am not in charge she will walk all over me. At her pre school they have great suggestions. Timers for getting things done. For some reason if she has 1 minute on the timer to pick out clothes, brush her teeth etc she does it but if I ask her she will procrastinate. Also they use consequences. If your daughter continues to scream her way across the room etc start taking something away from her. After a few Privileges
are taken away she should start behaving better and eventually may stay in bed unless she is in pain etc...

Good luck.

S.
www.realisticholistic.com

If she isnt going to sleep until around 10pm, then push her bedtime back sooner. She might need to go to bed around 8pm, and then hopefully sleeping by 9pm. Even that one hour can do a world of difference. Then try setting it back in small increments to see what works for you.

And then sit down and have a talk with her, and tell her, if she thinks she needs something during the night like water, etc. then tell her to lay back down and wait a few minutes to see if she can live without it, if she still needs it then come in. But not to be screaming down the hallway and wake up everyone else, its not acceptable.
Tell her, if she needs mommy and daddy then she needs to be quiet, and walk nicely and silently down to your room then wake you up nicely, and then ask what she needs.

Even take her down to her room before bedtime, and show her what you would like her to do if she needs you at night. Take her hand and walk slowly and quiet as mice down to your room, have daddy lay in bed pretending to be asleep, and then when you walk in there show her how you would like to be woken up. In your indoor voice, say daddy, I need you or etc.
Try it a few times then take her back to her room and you wait in yours and tell her okay you try it now, and see how she does.

Then that night see if it works.

Good luck!

Hi - Is she getting a nap during the day and is it long enough? Sounds like she may be really sleep deprived. I would make sure the daycare is giving her a nap and maybe also try putting her to bed even earlier. When she comes in just pick her up without saying a word and put her back to bed. Keep doing the same thing. It may take a few nights but if she knows she won't get anything maybe that will solve it. THis is what the supernanny does on the show and it always works! Don't feel guilty - it's for her own good!

Put your foot down and try to curb it behaviorally. There are lots of good sleep training books out there. Do not allow it. I mean do not pay attention to it. When she does it, walk her back and close her door using no words or eye contact. Keep doing this 100 x until she gets it. It might take 2-3 nights but it will be SO worth it. She is getting something out of this experieince and that something is everyone's attention. If this does not work, then take her to be evaluated by an occupational therapist to assess her sensory needs and the OT will work with her and give you ideas for more of the right kind of sensory input to calm your daughter. 4 yr olds are known to be drama kings/queens. Read the book Your Four Year old by Louise Bates Ames. Do not let her out of bounds behavior deter what you know is best for her. She is supposed to say you're mean/I hate you.....we all did it and it's part of accepting our place in the world. Do not be wimpy and just do it. I promise, once you change, she will change.

What is she eating? If she has the proper nutrients she will not wake up.
See Weston Price.com, and their book Nourshing Traditions for how to do this at a reasonable price.
Nutrition effects behaviour.Handle this, and you will handle the behaviour-
best, k

My 4 year old boy is a middle child and also a drama 'king' :) He has had fits like this also and seemed to me that he gets so worked up that he can't figure out how to get himself back to normal. After trying many things, the one thing that worked is splashing a little water in his face. Either by flicking it at him from the faucet, or keeping a spray bottle around and mist him with it. It was just enough to make him take a giant breath in and seemed to 'unhitch' him from his funk.
Hope this helps,
Jen M.

I would not put a knob on the inside of her door so she cannot open it. That would pose as a fire hazard. She needs to be able to get out of her room if she NEEDS to.
This may take some time but you can try this.
When you hear her start screaming or throwing her tantrum, quietly get up, hold her by the hand, put her back in her bed, cover her up, and leave the room and go back to bed. NEVER SAY A WORD!!! After a few times a night and for a couple of nights, she may get the hint that you are not going to put up with it and you are not giving into her demands. I hope you find something that works soon. Good Luck!

There is something called "Warm Milk" by the brand Animal Parade. They make kids vitamins.
This, is supposed to help kids calm/sleep..... before bed. Like a nice warm cup of milk.
It is a chewable vitamin.
You can see it on Amazon... and read the reviews there.

Also, if she is over-tired.... does not nap all day.... then by bedtime... she is just OVERLY tired more. And then, this makes falling asleep/and staying asleep... worse.
Major sleep deprivation.
"Tired" kids.... get very moody.....

Also yes, make sure she does not eat junk.... before bed or all day. Hopefully Daycare feeds the kids... healthily.

she knows... that at night... if she acts this way screaming demands... that most likely... she will get what she wants... because you/her parents do NOT want her to wake up brother. And, so, getting what she wants... will be her parents quickest way.... to make her quiet.

Also you just need to sit her down... tell her PLAINLY that her behavior is NOT acceptable. It is not.... nice... and not.... allowed.
The more that it makes people placate her.... and that people try to rationalize with her and whatnot... to her... probably... it just means that she is 'controlling' everyone....
But IF she is uncomfortable during bed, or had a nightmare... then she MUST learn... how to... communicate that... WITHOUT yelling.

She seems to be in a real moody mood.... due to tiredness AND perhaps, whatever 'junk' she may be eating all day at Daycare. If that is the case.
All I know is... my daughter, gets major fussy... if she is hungry, if she is tired... and has not slept well.
So... those are her triggers.

See what your daughter's triggers are. Or, if she is just acting that way to act that way... then you must... just tell her NO. And walk away. Or she will keep doing it.

What does she want when she wakes up? If it is water, you can leave a cup in her room or in her bathroom that she can get herself. If it is nightmares - then I would show her how to quietly come to your room for some reassurance. I agree with Kaida about showing her how to ask for help. If she comes in yelling, I would (without arguing or yelling) just gently lead her back to her room and once you are there ask what she needs and then put her in the bed and go back to your room. You will likely need to repeat this a bunch. She also could be overtired. I would make sure that you stop all stimulating activities (running around, tv if you do it) at least an hour before bedtime.

Does she nap during the day? My daughter used to have trouble falling asleep at night until I took out her afternoon nap. Now she usually falls asleep within minutes of being put to bed at 8pm.