4 Year Old Goes from Sweet Angel to Devil in Seconds

You always hear people talking about the terrible twos. Well I have my own sayings. It's the tiresome two's, the trocious three's, and the furious fours. Kids go through all different stages in life. So this behavior is probably just typical for her age. She's gone through some changes and this is her way of coping with them. You just need to make it clear that when she acts out like that it is not acceptable behavior. Most kids who act out or throw tempertantrums are looking for attention. When my daughter throws a tempertantrum I walk away and ignore her. I won't pay her no attention untill she's calmed down and is resonable. This really helped, because she finally realized that throwing a fit wont get her what she wants. If she get's mean or violent then you need to intervine. I would suggest issolating her, by putting her in a room by herself. When she's calmed down you then need to talk to her and explain why her behaviour isn't acceptable. There's always the method of taking toys and privelages away from her when she acts out as well. Good Luck!

Hi K.,
I want you to know you are not the only one experiencing this problem. I am also a 24 yr old single mom with a full and part time job and have been dealing with the same issues with my 3 and a half year old. She can be an absolute doll baby and the next minute be like the devils child, screaming, throwing things, and sometimes even hitting. I have asked for advice from my family on this and they always say I was the same way at that age , it's just a stage she's going through. As hard as it is sometimes I find when I ignore the behavior (as hard as that can be) the tantrum or fit as we like to call it doesn't seem to last as long. However when you deal with it all the time it's hard to think it's just a stage and will she ever grow out of it. There is also the feeling of guilt since we have to be away from them so much, but remember we are working those jobs and doing what we are doing so that we can give our children the life we know they deserve.

My son has difficulty when he is around too many different people and will try to get his way with anyone different other than me. Sometimes, if possible, you need to limit the people she is around, down to you and gram/grampa and make her understand that there is one set of rules, (you have to all abide by the same rules with her, gram, grampa, and you). Having dif set of rules confuses a child and she may be acting out because she is frustrated by that. Just a thought! Grams have a tendency to spoil the grandchildren but she just has to be careful how far she goes..

T.

Hey K.! I just wanted to reply and let you know that you're not alone. I am going through a similar ordeal with my 3 year old boy. I never saw any harm in his interest in Super Heroes (Power Rangers, Superman, Spiderman, ect.). Well, he has picked up fighting from these shows. I've taken away play swords because he would walk up and just hit someone. I have taken away dart guns because he will aim at people and not things. I guess you could say I've learned the hard way that you need to watch what your child is exposed to. Fortunately, he only does these things to people he is comfortable with. It's a form of play to him. I am trying to reteach him by time outs and explaining why he can't beat up on people. I don't have any miracle solutions, unfortuantely, but I wanted to let you know that I'm in the boat right next to ya!!

Smiles,
E.

You're definitely NOT alone! I have a 4 yr. old, too, and everytime I have my part-time job (a 4 month old baby) he is absolutely awful. I find that making him more involved in the little things throughout the day, like dinner to help changing the baby to reverse psychology. I feel like all I do those days is yell at him. I feel horrible, but I know I'm not alone in the multi-personalities of a 4 year old. Hope this helps a little.

I also have a 4 yr old as well as an 8 mo old. Four years old has been way harder than the 2's or 3's! Maybe you should take a day off if you can and go to the daycare with her and see what goes on there? Also, it may be that transitioning between daycare, grandma, and you is difficult because she doesn't feel that she knows what is coming each day. Maybe a calender-chart with special colored or themed stickers to let her know in advance where she will be the next day would help.

Hi K. did you ever think of putting her in preschool.
Preschool is more like a classroom. It might give her more .
You say she is smart, maybe she needs something more challeging. And it also prepare her for kindengarten.there are preschool that are like 3 days a week.

K.