4 Year Old Going on 15

Hello C.,
I have a wonderful 3yr DD and she was only allowed to watch PBS and NOGGIN.. I havn't had the kissing issues yet with her she has recently has been watching other teen shows with her older siblings. But so far nothing adverse just attitude that goes with the teen siblings.. i suggest putting it on one of the above mentioned channels and maybe block the other that the show comes on and tell her they took it off or something.. this is what i have done in with my 3yo.
Good Luck L.

SAHM to 7 children ages 17-7months..also full time student

All I can say is my son (who is now 26) came home at 4 from pre-school to tell me he was engaged. It lasted about two days before she left him for another boy.
He was 7 when the bus driver advised us a little girl named Karen, who was 5, got on the bus every morning and ran over to kiss my 7 year old son. The bus driver actually thought it was kind of sweet but thought we should know about it. My husband was the head custodian of the school and we did go and talk to her parents about it because my son didn't like the other boys teasing him at school.
I know you are worried about it. I think it is just a phase and she will outgrow it as soon as she realizes little boys aren't as nice as she thinks they are. Sweat, worms, etc. seem to dampen ones desire to kiss them a lot, you know.

Hi C..
We've delt with similar things. My now 10year old would talk about sex type things when she was 3 and 4. She always heard the adults talking all the time. Plus we lived on a ranch and she'd go help "grandpa" take care of the pigs. She was always curious and asked him things like, "how come you have so many pigs grandpa? Where did they all come from?" or "Why does chickens lay eggs and not have babies like the pigs?" And "Grandpa" wasn't around little little kids before actually told her about the pigs and chickens. Also she would ask, "how come those pigs (female) have boobies grandpa and the other pigs (male) have boobies that don't look like the girls'?" And of course he had to tell her that those are girls and those are boys. So than she put two and two together and got "SEX"! Never have I ever talked about what sexy or sex is to her at that age. We went grocery shopping one day and she was following this guy around, looking him up, down and all around, front and back. When we got to the check out, he was in front of us and she wouldn't stop staring at him, when he left, she turned and said, "MOM, that guy was SEXY!" I couldn't help but laugh...and than I asked.."What is sexy?" she looks at me like I didn't know..."MAAaaawwwm, you know, its in the wiggle!" I couldn't help for sure but laugh really hard, so did the cashier! But one night she stayed over at her cousins house and was watching a movie. She came home and asked me later that night, "Mom what is horny?" (This time she's about 5yrs old). My eyes got huge..."What!" She said that her cousin and his girlfriend were watching Austin Powers..."Do I MAKE YOU HORNAAY?" I looked at her for a long time and she says..."well?" I looked at her step dad and we couldn't tell her exactly what it was for a long time...but I left it like you know when you hit your head and you get a bump on it...she was like yeah...I said that's horny!" A few days later when she went to school a kid got hurt and hit his head on a monkey bar or something. Than right in front of her teacher she said, "That boy was HORNY!" So I got into trouble because we weren't right with it! So she says. I wasn't ready to tell a 5 year old anything about SEX yet! But I forgot that when we lived on the ranch that she basically already knew everything I already have known! Plus her great grandpa says.."You know, you can learn alot from that little girl, especially sex ed!" Geez...I tell ya they learn fast and quick! Since we've been away from all that, she hasn't been as bad! She's older now and I know now that we've got to start talking about those types of things. Especially now that she's maturing (body wise). It scares me, it really does, but as long as we take steps, I'm sure that she'll be alright. As for watching those types of shows..their out and that was a mistake that you have learned from (obiously or you wouldn't be looking for help), introduce other shows or make her busy so she don't have time for those shows. Search for other shows that might intrest her that will take her mind off of raven and corey! We watch spongebob or we go outside and work in the garden or orchard. Sometimes we just go swimming when those shows are on or go to the park. Slowly those shows will fade from mind. Give crafts for an activity. Keep her busy and maybe it'll fade sooner. Just make sure those channels don't come on at the time she's viewing the television! That's what I had to do with my two older ones when they were younger!

No more Disney channel for those under 9/10. That's what my friends and I have decided! All of us have noticed snobby, materialistic attitudes and behavior since they started watching these shows. Specifically Hannah Montana and Zach & Cody. Our kids are 4-7. In one week all 3 of us were complaining about it and starting paying more attention to what was being said & done on these shows, and the relationship to our kids' attitudes. Bingo. The girl who owns the Tipton hotel in Z & C is especially bad when you're trying to teach children appreciation and values!!

Not all Disney Channel is bad but for her age group try things on PBS such as Word World, Between the Lions, Super Why, Cailou, etc.
You're not the only one who has noticed the influence! =)

My advice is simple. Just don't let her watch those kinds of shows that expose her to any mature activity. Replace those shows with child-appropriate shows. Explain to her that YOU have made a mistake and that you cannot continue to make the same mistake over and over again. You have the right, as a parent, to make a mistake and then correct yourself. We're not perfect and sometimes it takes us a while to realize our error. I wouldn't at all be concerned about her feeling like she's being punished. Tell her, those shows are for older people and you didn't realize that until now. She'll get over it. You'll be doing your daughter and your family a huge family but cutting out that exposure now.

Have you tried telling her she can't have a boyfriend until she is XX years old? Raven is 16 (just a number) and the other person Cory is 16 too so that's why they have a boyfriend?

My youngest sister is 15 years younger than me and when she was about 3 she wanted a boyfriend to kiss like me (whoops) and I told her she couldn't have a kissing boyfriend until she was 18, she bought it and moved on no problem. Sometimes it's just that simple.

My son was getting ready to turn 5 and informed me that his little friend from his baseball team was his girlfriend and when he turned 10 they were going to get married and live with us! Talk about a shock! He then continued on to ask where babies came from! The novelty of a girlfriend wore off after they held hands a couple of times. Just explain to her that she has plenty of time for that later and don't make a big deal out of it.
Good luck!

I wouldn't worry too much. My son just turned 5 and this past weekend told me he thought his little friend at daycare was his girlfriend. I said ok and didn't make a big deal out of it. He hasn't mentioned it since. He has never watched any teen or pre-teen shows - he has never shown any interest. I think at this age they are just trying to see how we react to things. Good luck!

I just wanted to say that I am so glad I am a member in this website because my daughter is 2 and it warms me or prepares me in many ways.
Especially what shows to stay away from and what things to look out for.

:)

The Disney Channel has different shows for different ages. The shows that you named are for tweens and some teens which is why there are things brought up on the shows that are not yet appropriate for younger children. They have shows in the morning hours more geared to younger children.

Personnally, I dont think it is necessary the shows. My seven year old was/is doing the same thing. She came home from kindergarten and told me all about her new boyfriend. At that time she was watching Dora and Spongebob. She hasnt changed, she is 7 going on 17. She is actually growing out of Hannah Montana and Disney. She wants a cell phone and clothes for her birthday! My 6 year old however thinks boys are gross. GO figure. No matter what they watch, they still are influence by their friends at school, older relatives and in our case they come by it naturally... I was the same way.

I wouldn't take it too seriously. She is just mimicking what she sees. I used to find my daughter's Barbie and Ken naked under the bed every time she played Barbie, but she turned out to be a fine young lady.
I do recommend limiting TV for children of all ages, especially under age 12.

C.,
You sure you dont have my daughter? Mine is four also we have kinda of started the same thing. My daughter says she is in love with the Jonas brothers. Now I really try to curb her TV watching but its hard when Disney keeps shoving their tween shows in on the preschool shows. I tell my daughter that shes not allowed to be in love until she is done with College. HAHA Have you or can you get channels like noggin or PBS sprout? They are only preschool shows all the time and I know my daughter really likes the Sprout shows.
I wish disney would let kids be kids...that is after all the audience
Good luck,
A.

We've experienced a similar situation with our 4 year old son. When he was 3, we would let him watch some shows where the kids had bad attitudes or were generally annoying. I didn't think too much of it until my sister said something about linking her kids' behavior to shows on TV they were allowed to watch (I love my neice and nephew, but they have SERIOUS attitudes). I started thinking about it and monitoring his shows a LOT closer. We have it narrowed down so he is only allowed to watch shows that have been pre-approved, like Dora, Deigo, Blues Clues, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, Handy Manny and any of the cartoons on PBS or TLC. We cut out some other shows that he used to watch. When he asked to watch them, I just told him that I didn't like the way the kids on the show act, and it wasn't a show I wanted him to watch. He accepted that right away. In fact, if one of those shows comes on and I'm not in the room, he turns the TV off. I also limit my kids' viewing to certain hours (when they first get up, and when their rest time is over), and for only about 2 hours a day. I also scroll through the viewer guide on the TV to see what's on, and give him the options of what they can watch. That way, if there is a show on that he would want to watch but I don't want him watching, he doesn't know it.

Another great way to avoid shows I don't want them watching is to borrow videos from the library. I let my kids get 2 or 3 videos at a time, and they will watch those over their favorite shows most of the time.

Good luck!!

I don't think it's a "punishment" to stop watching inappropriate TV programming. Since you know where the problem is coming from, the solution is simple: turn off the television!! You are the parent, and you can find other, more age appropriate activities to do with your children. Most shows on TV, even for children, are junk. Read Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto for insights into how TV and public schooling are damaging our youth and society.

Um...Watching those shows at such a young age is a definate no no. I have 2 teenage daughters, 17 and 15 1/2 and I can tell you, if your daughter is talking like that now, it will only get worse. I would suggest justn ot letting her watch those shows. If she wants to or begs, whatever, tell her no they aren't good shows for a 4 yr old. You are the parent so be strong and don't give in, I am telling you, if you give in it will get WORSE with age and it will take A LONG TIME to get her "back". I am speaking from experience! Stick to your guns and give her a choice, (for ex) wonder pets or dora. Disney shows are not a child oriented as Nick and should really not be in a 4 yr olds televisionn viewing.
I apologize for seeming judgemental, but I really am speaking from experience. Start now, or it will just get worse.
Jenn.......

My daughter did the same thing. Pretty soon her little mouth will start talking like a teenager. I tried everything from talking to her about age appropriate things to limiting her tv time. What I ended up doing (which is extreme), I took Disney and Nicklodeon off my tv. I downsized to basic channels which is only the major networks. I miss my TLC but it is worth it. She is 8 today and I tried earlier this year to add the channels back in but it started all over again. And this time my 5 1/2 year old son started too. I turned the channels back off. Good Luck