4 Year Old Holds Pee and Poop and Acts Obnoxious

I think that you should get him together with Ben and they can poop when they are ready. Having the same issue here. I don't say anything anymore and if it gets out of control he gets a priviledge taken away or a time out. I don't even mention the word bathroom when he starts actting up. I say it's not OK to act this way and if you continue there will be consequences. I think it's a total power thing. Hang in there it will get better.

That is fairly common behavior if he is constipated. Try a stool softener (just to began with to get things moving again) and have regular time where he has to sit on the potty. 2-3 times per day.

I have a son with very severe constipation, and because his stools were leaking around the impacted stool we thought he had the runs all the time instead.

It sounds like it may be a power stance. He may need to feel in contol of something in his life.
He may also be reacting to being sexually molested. I could be totally off base here but it might be worth looking into. It may be possible to find a counselor who works with very young children and be able to talk to him and get him to respond and let you know what is going on.
He may also have a blockage or something physically wrong that going potty is painful to him and he is trying to avoid the pain.
If his verbal skills are good try getting him to help you tell a story. "There was a little boy and when he had to go potty he would not go and he would jump around ..... I wonder why he would do that... ?" He might fill in the blanks and in that way tell you what is going on.
Good luck I hope you get the answers.

My 4 year old does the same thing. I think it is because he is so busy doing other things, he waits until the last possible minute so he doesn't have to waste time in the bathroom.
What I have done is have him stand infront of the toilet or sit down and tell him, "I will count to ten and if you haven't gone by then I'll believe you that you don't have to go." 99% of the time, he goes by the time I get to 3! Not sure if it will work for you, but it is worth a try.
I wouldn't worry about it too much and don't make a huge deal out of it. I would stay away from calling him a baby and putting him back in pull-ups to humiliate him. Just thank him for going potty/poop quickly and maybe giving him an extra reward for doing his "duty" quickly.
Best of luck!
Blessings!
H.

Hi A.
My 6 year old son struggled with this too, he had a couple of different issues, as other mothers have mentioned he did not like to take the time to go to the bathroom...he was always having too much fun to stop. Then he had a couple of stools that were hard from holding it in and not going regularly so he ended up associating going to the bathroom with pain. We talked to our doctor and he said it was very common at that age, he had us use Miralax for a short time which did help him go more regularly. Once he was going regularly he didn't have pain.
As other mothers have suggested I also created scheduled times through out the day that were potty time. Of course he protested at first, like you are describing, but eventually he got comfortable with the idea. I would just remind him that he could go back to whatever he was doing afterward, that activity would wait.
A couple of things that helped us was teaching our son more about his body and how it works. We explained to him that going to the bathroom was his body's way of 'taking out the trash'. He found that amusing and wanted to understand more. He's learned that pee and poop are the left over food stuff that his body needs to get rid of. Now we joke about taking out the garbage :) It seemed that understanding more about the process made him more comfortable with everything. Another thing that helped him was reading books while he sat on the potty, I know it seems a little strange but it helped him relax. He likes "Grossology: The Science of Really Gross Things!" by Sylvia Branzei. It is a humorous way to learn about all sorts of things including POOP. It might be a little advanced for your 4 year old but you would be able to sum it up until he is a little older.
Best of luck, everything will work out.
A.

Maybe it hurts your son to go. I have a nephew who went through this after having been constipated for quite some time.

Aren't all toddlers are obnoxious and loud?! LOL. Seriously, it sounds like a phase.. a form of potty training "regression" where he's pushing your buttons to see what you'll do.

Stick to your guns and dish up some psychology of your own. If he makes a scene and refuses to use the potty, start removing privileges like t.v., games, toys, whatever you think will work. If he's doing this in public, tell him he'll have to stay home while the rest of the family gets to go out for errands etc. because it's not okay to act up in public when you're 4. Stress he's too big for that, and if he wants to be treated like a "baby" then you'll dig out his pullups from storage and tell his friends. If it gets to a point where he has accidents because of this, remove privileges.

He may get constipated doing this. Be prepared with prunes and fruit juices. You can even tell him this will happen and that if it gets bad enough, he may have to see the doctor to get some suppositories. Explain what those are. He might not like the idea of having to get those, or having to eat prunes to get regular. Also tell him, no playdates etc. because no one elses mom is going to want to deal with that..nor will his friends!

Last but not least, point out all of the big kids in his life and remind him none of them are acting like him. If he wants to be a "big kid" like his older brother, then he has to act like one, and that means using the potty like one.

I would make sure that he doesn't have an infection or is constipated.
It probably is a phase, but make sure that nothing else is going on.