4 Year Old in 4 Month Old Babys Face All the Time

Don't they jsut love babies at this time in their little lives!!! lol

but, it doesn't go over too well with the baby, does it?!?

my mom always taught my sister and i that we could hold the babies feet only - especially when looking at someone else's baby. i taught my son and step-children the same thing and they like it because feet wiggle sooo much.

pretty soon, he will develop techniques that will help calm the baby instead of upset it. But, i always start with the feet - he can kiss them and use them like a microphone (if he wants to sing to the baby :) ), etc.

good luck,
bgersper

My first two boys were 3 yrs apart and you have to make the oldest feel really important. Maybe more important than the baby. Take time with him alone while Dad "plays' with the baby or feeds him. Have the oldest change diapers or have some role with baby's care, wash his hair while you are right there, things like that. I bet you will see a change. Positive reinforcement. Special prize for being mommy's helper?

Keep in mind, you are the adult...it's your job to teach your oldest son to follow the rules. If you don't want him in the newborns face, then don't let him. There are plenty of other ways of connecting with his new sibling. Treat this like you would any other discipline, that is, if you think it's that much of a problem.
Good luck!

Have your 4yrs help you with diaper changes and giving the baby a bath and then make my time for our other son.

I am in total agreement with Lisa M. I think some of the other responses are a bit harsh. After all, your oldest is only 4, and he's been the baby all that time.
You should be thankful beyond belief that he's not hating the baby who is invading his space!
So here's my suggestions. I have a 6 yr. old and 10 month old, both boys. When we found out I was pregnant, I conveyed my concerns to my Mom about the age difference. After all, Peanut had been the one and only for 5 yrs.!! So for Christmas that year, she bought him his own special boy baby doll, his name is Jeffrey (so fitting, since he's a Jeff Gordon fan, lol). I bought Jeffrey some bibs, bottles, and my Mom bought Jeffrey some baby clothes (he's the size of a real baby and I've actually passed on some of our 10 month old's clothes to the doll), and blankets.
We began teaching Peanut how to take care of Jeffrey. We even gave him some diapers to use on the doll. When I finally had our little guy, in the beginning, I would have Peanut get his doll whenever Ben needed fed, or changed. And he would mimick the feedings (with a bottle), or changings (with new clothes and a diaper). He would sit and rock Jeffrey, while I rocked Ben.
Peanut has been in love with his baby brother since day 1, as well. In fact, he loves to tell me that HE loves Ben more than I do, which I just laugh at, lol. So I incorporate Peanut's help with Ben. He helps get diapers, wipes, blankets, keeps Ben occupied while I change him or am getting his food together.
I think you might want to try the doll approach and even the big brother helping MOMMY approach. And explain to him, NICELY, that you appreciate his help, and that you understand he loves the new baby, but that baby's are sometimes scared when people get too close. You don't need to be harsh or mean about it. Just remember, this little being has taken the only child's place. So you don't want to hurt your oldest child's feelings. After all, he just wants to help and be part of the baby, which is very good.

sorry to hear of your troubles. Try to have your 4 year old help you when you r feeding and then when you are changing the babies pants. Have your 4 help you when ever he can. sounds like he is feeling left out. not sure if he has been an only child till the 4month old was born but if he was then now mommy is giving all her att. to the new baby. thats hard for a 4 year old to understand.

quite honestly i would say that you're lucky! i hear stories of children having animosity toward their baby siblings, but it sounds to me like your son is quite interested in and protective of the baby. my advice would be to do what you can to nurture this attitude, but steer him in a more productive direction, such as a specific duty that he can be in charge of (fetching diapers, rinsing pacifiers, picking out outfits...)
and try not to say anything that might make him feel like he is being bothersome, or he may begin to feel resentment toward the little one! good luck!

Hi S.,

My son was 2 1/2 when his sister was born and he was somewhat the same way. He didn't realize how little his siter was and he wanted to play. Also he was no longer the center of my attention.

I let him help at diaper changes by handing me things. At bath time he would gather toys for her which he would play with but it's the thought that counts, right. Involve your older son in the little guys things. Read books to both of them. Have your son show her books. I would rock my daughter when I nursed her and my son would climb right up in the chair with us.

My son also referred to his sister as his baby. Sometimes he still does. As your son begins to roll, crawl and become more mobile the gap between them will close. Katie is a year old and walking. Her and Max play together all the time. She follows him everywhere and he loves it.

I hope this helps.
Cathy

You might try redirecting him rather than telling him to stop. It sounds like he's really trying to interact and be an active part of your baby's life, but is not really sure how to do that appropriately. When he gets in the baby's face, you could try showing him another way to be affectionate, play with or help you with the baby that is better for everyone. This will reassure that he is an important part of the family too and should make him feel better about himself and his role as a big brother. Also, when he does help out and interact with the baby in good ways, be sure to point it out, tell him what he did well and give him a lot of praise for it.

Teach your son to play with the baby in appropriate ways. Teach him how to help feed the baby. Teach him how to help bathe the baby. This can really help. It sounds like the 4 year old is feeling left out. Good Luck.

:( That's a tough one. My 3 almost four year old is the same with his Dad's son. His dad has a almost 6 month old...and my son will go as far as get up in the middle of the night when he is at his dad's to take care of the baby. The only difference is that the baby LOVES it...he actually cries when my son leaves the room!!! I think it's the age, they want to help. Give him things he can do...like if you know the diaper is only wet, the allow him to do as much of the diaper change as he can. He might need help lining the diaper up properly or something little like that, but I bet he can do a lot of it. Give him limits, say you can spend the next 5 minutes with the baby, and after that I need you to go play with a toy or watch a fav. cartoon or something he really enjoys. Although I know that is difficult...even the movie cars isn't as important as the baby! Best wishes!

he just wants your attention it is normal for a toddler to wnat to be a part of everythign and even though baby hates it he isn't being mean so that's a good thing, make him your helper have him get out diapers for you or throw them away, show him how to play nice with baby and what baby likes, let him pick out clothes and any other little thing that keeps him busy and included in your time with bay and things will work out. good luck.

I understand where you are coming from my daughter was 3 when the baby was born (now they are 1 and almost 4). I just reminded my oldest very gentley that the baby couldn't really do a whole lot as an infant and told my oldest that really soon she would have to help teach the baby how to do things. I WOULD NOT punish your oldest for this, just explain to him calmly why you don't want him in the baby's face all the time. Punishing him will lead to resentment of the baby, you, and their father. It's really hard for the older one to not be the center of attention anymore, and his world has changed. It's takes a long time for them to adjust to this change, and to understand what is going on around them. Include your oldest in everything that you do, let him help bath the baby, read to the baby, cloth the baby, everything. And I have to disagree that the "newness" wears off after awhile, my oldest still wants to do everything for the baby a year later, and now they play together all the time and are so protective of each other, it's really a special bond and I would have for resentment to build in your house and not have this bond. Good luck.

I think most children this age do that. I think that they are trying to act like an adult when they do it. I don't know how accurate that is... but its just my thoughts on it. And as long as he isn't hurting the baby let him have fun with it. Babies aren't as fragile as everyone thinks they are. And relish the fact that one day the 4 yr old is going to get all this attention back when he doesn't want it!

Hi S.,
I completely agree with Gina on this one. It is your job to lay down the rules and boundaries, and to reinforce them. This doesn't have to be done in a mean way, but in a firm way. Don't necessarily "punish" your son, just teach him what is to be expected of him during this time. One thing that really seems to help with the families I babysit for is by explaining to your son how you used to do the same things for him as a baby, take this opportunity to share baby photos with him and share stories with him, and as much as daddies don't like this, get your son a baby doll, it could be a boy cabbage patch kid or something like that, that way he could be taking care of his baby while you are taking care of yours. Take him to the store and let him pick out his very own special baby.
Hope some of this helps you!

hi S.,

I would have to agree with the previous posters with saying give your oldest son specific duties and make him a part of the daily routines with the baby. My middle two sons are 25 months apart and there was a lot of animosity until I made a picture chart showing the things he could help me do and I would reward with him putting stickers on the chart when he helped. Trust me this wanting to help phase will end and he will grow tried of the "new" baby..lol You just have to remember the baby is new to him as well and his curiosity is getting him. Hope this helps

I like the idea of a doll for your older son and letting him do things with the doll as your doing things with the baby. My son was 20 mo when I had another baby. He was similar in how he acted, he wanted to play with the baby and hold him. We (me & their father) had to show him how to play with him and explain time & time again that he couldn't play rough with baby & baby coudn't and/or didn't want to play with the same toys he did. Also we still set aside time for both of us to play with the boys together and seperately. With what you said about running away and crying, the play time together and showing how to interact with the baby will help. He's old enough to understand play time and quiet time, let them interact more during play time then you let him know it's the baby's quiet time for feedings and naps. We even let our older son help with the feedings a little by letting him hold the bottle, with our guidence. He knew it was quiet time for the baby and would get bored after a couple minutes. Try not to get mad at your older son, kids his age can be very emotional, if he starts to get too rough or "in-the-face" gently say no and guide him to playing nice & out of the baby's face. Make sure you still have playtime alone with him too, even though he seems to like the baby there also seems to be some jealousy. Remember, no matter how much we try, there will always be some sort of friction and a certain amount of jealousy between siblings - at all ages.

I understand where your coming from. I have a 3 yr. old and a 4 month old and she was doing the same thing, constantly wanted to be in the baby's face and holding her. I simply told her that the baby was too little to do those kind of things to that after i was done doing what i had to do with the baby i would hold her. Maybe he's looking for that baby feeling again like your doing with the baby. Just explain to him that he is a big boy and that the baby requires special attention. When you are finished with the baby you and him will do something special together. See if that works. Good Luck!