4 Year Old in My Bed

My 5 year old still sleeps with me and my boyfriend is moving in in October and I have NO advice but it's great to read the other responses.

Our 5 year old son just started sleeping in his own bed, it took two nights to get him to stay in his bed, I think I miss him more than he misses me. Just stay consistant. Adam said if he had bunk beds he would be a big boy and sleep by himself, so we bought bunk beds, that probably caught him by surprise and then he had to stick to his promise. Good luck ! They are little for such a short time.
D.
www.Debs.ceofamilies.com

This is a hard one! I was a single mother for quite a while. My young son slept with me, too. When I remarried I had to get him used to his own bed, in his own room.

I now have a 5 year old who will not go to sleep alone in his room. I read him 2 stories in his bed and then we turn on the sound machine and nightlight and I lay with him. I tell him that I will have to go do some chores in 5 minutes so he has to go to sleep quickly if he wants me to be in there - he goes right to sleep and then I get up.

The sound machine is soothing and helps him sleep - I have used it since he was an infant - we like the setting that has crickets chirping - it sounds like you are sleeping with your windows open. I got it from drugstore.com for $15.

I am not one who can just leave them in there and let them cry...... My son used to go to bed with his Dad in our bed and then I would carry him to his bed when I got ready to go to bed. I always stay up later than everyone else. He is now in kindergarten and must go to bed earlier than the rest of us. I felt it was time for him to gain some self confidence and we make a big deal of him sleeping in there all night! He got a prize at Wal-Mart the first few weeks he did it!

We go to the library every week and check out about 20 books and free movies. Maybe she could watch a movie in her room, in her bed for a bit to get her calmed down and then you could read her a story - it may help calm her and get her to relax.

Good Luck! I know it is hard to do!

D.

I had the same situation with my oldest. She Would actually sleep walk into my bed at night. I just kept putting her back into her bed, and come morning time I would take something away each time she tried coming into my bed. I just had to keep on doing this till she got the picture. It took a bit of time, but I stayed consistent and eventually she stopped coming into my bed. While doing all this, I also talked to her about what she was doing and why it was not allowed. My 2nd child is 4 right now and so far she has not tried it. Good luck, it is a hard ting to do when a child has the set mind of what they want to do.

I had a friend with a son like this, about the same age. She started a marble jar. Every morning she would get up and he was in his own bed he'd get to put a marble in the jar. Once the jar was full he got a special treat.

Some of the advice is to reward your child (special treat) and some of the advice is to pushing your child (take a toy away).

I would say start with something to get her excited about her bed, such as new sheets, a pillow, or night animal to sleep with. Then use the reward method rather than punishment. You learn in Psychology 101 that rewards work much better than punishment. It stimulates positive feelings rather than negative, such as resentment, dislike, etc.

That is not good for either one of you. Try making a chart and when she get a certain number in a row then give her a surprise. not always a toy or food. but different small things. you could give her a quarter and when she gets enough she can go get something she likes. I know my little sister has had to take toys away and then spanked. but tried other things first. You don't want to do it everytime. maybe buy somrthing small for her room would work too. Best of luck!!!! If I can help anymore I am here. I work for hallmark and I know we have some real fun stickers.

Before I got remarried, it was just me and my daughter as well. She had gotten used to sleeping with me as well. Well, when we knew we were going to move in with my fiance, I knew I had to get her to sleep on her own. Instead of going to my bed, we went to hers. I stayed with her until she fell asleep, then if she did wake up and come to my bed, or called for me, we stayed in her bed. Hopefully she will learn she's old enough to sleep in her bed and not yours. Maybe you can buy her new sheets or a pillow that will want to make her stay in her bed as well. Good Luck!! I hope you find something that will work for you.

I had the same problem with my second child. It takes perseverance! Whenever our daughter came in we just took her back to her bed and told her firmly that she needed to sleep in her room like a "big" girl.

Make sure she isn't getting to much caffeine during the day and that she is worn out when she goes to bed. Maybe she is napping too much during the day so she doesn't get into deep sleep at night.

I'd also limit what she sees on tv. My daughter was having nightmares much of the time. We are the really conservative type who don't let her watch things that we perceive as scary. However we WERE watching things like "when good pets go bad", or "amazing videos"- they often showed things like car wrecks or other accidents happening. It never occured to me that she was taking this all in at such a young age- but she was. Her nightmares weren't about monsters, they were about a tornado hitting our house or about our car flipping!

Limiting the amount of tv and the type of shows she was allowed to watch totally ended the nightmares. And since she woke up less, she was obviously NOT coming to our bed.

I think for kids who have a problem with this, it really becomes more of a habit that they have to break.

You may have a couple weeks of really sleepless nights but even if you have to take her back to her bed 25 times per night, you have to remain persistent to get a handle on it.

My daughter slept with me untill she was about three, and she had trouble making the switch, but I just got one of those little beds that you can put the crib mattress in, and had that in my room, so we went from my bed to the little bed in my room, to her own big bed in her room, it was just as much of an adjustment for me as it was for her, but it went smoothly, and she still wanted to sleep with me from time to time, but if she did it was in a sleeping bag on the floor.

I also am a single mom of a 3 year old. I got her to sleep in her own bed, in her own room at 3 by celebrating with Dora bedding. It took time and she still wakes up sometimes calling for me, but I have a baby monitor still so I can hear her, and I just take her to the bathroom or cover her up and give her a hug, something small when she calls, and I make sure to keep it routine. Good luck!

I had a similar issue with one of my boys. We actually reversed the whole situation. I slept in his bed with him for a couple of nights, then on a mat on his floor right next to his bed, then the middle of the room, and slowly worked my way out of the room. It took a couple of weeks, but I was consistent that he stay in his bed, or I would leave. It was exhausting, but now that I have my bed to myself, it was definately worth it. I think he was just scared of his room, so by me spending so much time in there with him, he got used to his room and felt much more comfortable.