My 4 year old had been doing great and was potty trained but since the arrival of our new baby (12/27) she's having accidents all the time. She says that she couldn't make it in time... I've found her wet clothes in a puddle in front of the toilet and this weekend she wet her bed... This hasn't happened since she's been potty trained. I'm wondering if this regression is due to the new baby. I hate to revert to pull-ups so i tell her if she's going to act like a baby she'll lose big girl perks but I hate belittling her. Any suggestions?
I think it's an attention issue and when I do take the time for one on one play with her she just beams. I need to make time for that everyday... I feel as though I'm always nagging her to get dressed, eat breakfast, get your stuff for school... but we do have fun singing together in the car and reading at bedtime and we cuddle every chance we get. I've started rewarding her after she makes it to the potty on time and we have a "special prize" on top the fridge that's she's working for as a reward for a week of accident free days... so far so good.
I am happy to report no accidents since I posted my issue! We had successful results purchasing a prize over the weekend and keeping it on top of the fridge where she could see it as a daily reminder of what she was working toward. She's also been better about going to sleep on her own and staying in bed all night. I've made an effort to spend more quality time with her and this has seemed to help too. We discuss that she's not a "bad girl" or a "baby" but she makes "bad choices" and she's always a "good girl." Our next behavior issue we are working on is only using one squirt of soap when we wash our hands.
She maybe really can't make it in time, if the puddle was in the bath room. And wetting the bed if they are asleep, scolding isn't going to help, as theye don't know they are going to do it. Try not to make a big deal out of it, and that not be the attention getter she may be craving, and I bet in a short time she will go back to not wetting.
Oh girl I feel your pain! I have a 4 year old son and he also became a big brother this year. I have found that it is fairly common for kids this age to have accidents. They've been potty trained long enough now that the act of using the potty successfully has lost its novelty and they'd much rather keep on playing or doing whatever it is they were doing when the urge hit. It could have something to do with your new daughter, only you can probably tell that.
I would just take her to the potty often, and make her clean up any accidents she has. Try to keep up with positive reinforcement only and point out the consequences of having an accident, like look how much time it took to clean up that mess vs. look how quickly going to the potty got you back to playing, etc.
Hi M., I would say that this is definately regression. But you might also want to have her checked for a UTI. Sometimes especially on girls that can create this behavior. But I've been through this twice....I have three kids ages 4,2.5 and 10 months. And the older two both regressed a little with the birth of the next. Sometimes too they are experimenting with how long they can wait before they really have to go. What I have done and it worked was just pay little attention to it. It is an attention seeking behavior. Cuddle with her a bit more at other times. And if she is taking care of it on her own (changing her clothes for example) praise her for being big enough to do that and show her what you want done with the wet clothes. Let her know you don't like the fact that she had an accident but you appreciate that she was big enough to take care of it. The bed wetting at night thing is normal too. My 5 year old son still has occasional wet beds. At 4 they might not have that total control yet. To discourage it a little when it does happen I don't change his bed until morning. Instead he changes his jammies and I make him a pallet on the floor. Not as comfy as his bed. Hope this helps! Good luck! I know you are tired but try not to get too impatient with it. It will pass.
M.
My son who is now 6 regressed....not because we had a new baby..I'm not sure why he regressed..but our pediatrician suggested that we start back to the very beginning..like when we first started potty training him...and give rewards when he had no accidents...and if he did have an accident, just change his clothes..and not say anything about it. He was back fully potty trained (again) within a week or so. We got him a calendar to hang in his bathroom and each day that he went without any accidents, he got a star for that day. He loved getting the stars..and it wasn't long at all and he didn't have accidents anymore. I hope this helps. Good Luck!
Every child deals with stress differently. We may not think so, but 4 year olds do stress out. If i had to guess i would say it is from the arrival of new baby. just make sure to monitor her potty breaks more for awhile. be aware of how long it has been since she last went. and DON'T go back to pull-ups!! this will only make her think it is ok to not use the big potty. i agree that she should also be involved in the clean up of accidents. you may want to let her be a part of laundry too so she can see how much more there is to wash!!
Stop belittleing her then if you don't like it. Don't call her a baby or say she is acting like a baby, simply tell her "If you get to distracted by your show/ your toys/ your friends to get to the potty in time, then you won't be able to play with/watch them."
I would agree that if the puddle is in the bathroom then she probably really is trying. Has she grown? Are her pants now harder to pull down? Kids bodies can grow out of preportian, so she may really be making more urine now, but her bladder hasn't grown. Might it be a UTI?
There are lots of things to consider as possibilities. I only think the baby thing maybe not so much, since the baby is almost 4 mos old and is just started. BUT have you just recently gone back to work? Were you home with her for a while, and now put her back in daycare?
Good luck.
Sorry to tell you but this is due to the new baby.My son did the same thing it lasted one week.Just be patient with her and let her be a helper with the baby.I also no someone whos child lost every hair on his body and it was also due to stress of a new baby in the house.
It sounds like your older child is craving attention and the only way to get it is to wet/mess her pants. Many articles have been written that state you should spend more time with the older child more than the younger one. The little one does not know the difference. By spending more time with the older one you are reassuring her/him that she is still important to you. Also have the older one help you with the little one bring diaper, bottle, lotion or such. Good luck it will pass. Just keep the faith.
When my twin girls were 3.5, they knew how to potty and were just refusing to do it all the time. For one of them, it was definitely that she would forget while she was busy playing etc. Here is what I did, and I got this from reading suggestions from this list, although I slightly modified it. I took the girls to the store and let them pick out a really special toy - in their case, they picked Care Bears. I told them that we were going to get those toys to use whenever they successfully used the potty - in their case it was just pooping that they had problms with. So I called the new bears their "Poopy Bears," and made the rule very clearly that when they used the potty to go poopy, they would get to play with the poopy bear, and when they did not the bear returned to the shelf in the closet until success was reached again. It was never negative; it was just the nature of the bear. I never chastised or showed displeasure when they had an accident. If they were upset that the bear was taken away, I would offer positive encouragement - "Yes, I know it's sad that the poopy bear has to go back in the closet, but you are a very big girl and I know you will be able to go poopy in the potty real soon." They would then work really hard to go potty again so they could get their bears back. For me, that worked well. They were very competitive and they liked being able to work towards a goal. It might work for you because it will give you something to tune into your older child - a little extra attention showered when she gets the rewards - to distract her from the loss of attention attributable to the new baby. Try also to involve her in "helping" you with the baby as much as you can stand; it will make her feel more involved and more secure. Find some time to have special mommy time for your 4 yr old on a regular basis - even if it's just 5 minutes, it's more the routine and the regularity of the time that makes an impression than the length of time. Good luck!
You might want to take her to the doctor and make sure she doesn't have a bladder or kidney infection. That happened with my oldest daughter and she did have one. I ended up having to re-potty train. Or she could be trying to get attention but I would try the doctor first before I started getting on to her to much! Trust me it will make you feel 2 inches tall! Hope it gets better! Good luck!
