My four year old has started to say bad words at school..any ideas on how to stop it and punishments for doing it etc. he doesn't do it at home, in fact he is always asking me if random words are bad words so he wants to make sure not to say them...help please!
He gets spoken to by the teacher when it happens and he has to sit out of whatever they are doing. He's not saying fbombs but he said g&* dammit and bit&*.
He's hearing it somewhere. I'd suggest that person stop it and be in charge of getting him to stop it.
If hes only doing it at school, the teacher is just going to have to handle it. You cant really punish him for stuff hes not doing around you.
Just a jff side note: my daughter told me the other day that when people get angry they say f*cks. I said, angry people say fox? No mom, f*cks. I say where did you hear that? She says the snake from Harry Potter slithered into her room last night and told her to say it. What can you say to that?? I was lmao. I dont recall the snake using that sort of language, but maybe he does in his off time. School this fall is going to be great fun for everyone.
if he's not saying the bad words around you, there are two things to think about. 1) he knows the bad words and is careful NOT to say them around mom (that's a very good thing. clearly you've taught him that some things are unacceptable.) 2) you can't effectively punish him for something he does when you're not around, but you can sure as shootin' discuss it with the teacher, come up with something appropriate, and back it to the hilt.
khairete
S.
As a former ft teacher, I would call you in and sit your son down in the same rm and tell him that the following words are not ok to say. And, find out where he is learning them from...another kid, off the tv at home, movies, etc....
I think the teacher and parent should work as a team !
First... how is this being handled at school? I would also talk to them and find out what they suggest to stop it, also.
I agree with Kristen to go in and have a talk with the teacher in front of your child. The FIRST time he says it at home (and I'll bet that he does), put tabasco on his tongue as a punishment. I promise you, he won't say it again for years.
Soap is what plenty of moms use/used for this, but people get their pants in a wad over it because they think of soap as poisonous. Tabasco is a food substance and this works. After hearing the word "damn" out of my 5 year old, my 3 year old ran around the house happily singing "damn, damn, damn!" until I employed this consequence on him IN FRONT OF my 5 year old. I didn't hear it out of either child's mouth again for 9 years...
I think it takes more than just "don't say it" with some kids. It did for mine.
Dawn
How are they handling them at school? Where is he hearing them? What words is he saying? Most preschools consider "stupid" a bad word, and you just reinforce why and support the preschool rules.
If he is swearing, it's a different issue. Kids don't just curse out of the blue. They hear the words from the people around them. So don't worry about punishing him. Keep reinforcing that they are not nice words, and find out WHO is around him swearing. Then get them to stop. It's not his fault. He's just doing what the people around him are doing.
Kids this age, can be copy cats and parrots. And they do not necessarily know... how to use words properly nor what they mean. But they DO know... what bad or good words are. If you tell them.
So my question is: where or how... is he getting these words from?
He is hearing it, from somewhere or from someone.
And if he is still using these bad words/curse words, despite him being scolded at school by the Teacher, then he is either:
a) not comprehending what the bad words are, or
b) he does fully know what the bad words are that he got punished at school for... but is still... using it. Despite.
For me, my kids knew "bad" words at that age.
I actually would tell them, what bad words are.
Or if I cursed by accident, they would tell me "Mommy, that's a bad word." Or I would tell them I made a mistake and that the word I used, was a bad word. So by example, they learned as well.
And they learn all of this, in Preschool too.
Let the teacher deal with it, and remind him not to say those words when you are at home with him. He's only 4, I don't think further punishments are necessary. The teacher should know how to deal with a 4 year old saying "gd" and "bit**", or she's not a very good teacher.
But where is he hearing all these words? Be sure the adults in your home aren't slipping up.
Like what? Fbombs? Or preschool bad words, like stupid or shut up?
If I were you, I would punish him at home also. Kids ARE NOT like dogs; they do understand and can related the home punishment to the rule infraction at school. He needs to know that there is communication with the teacher and that you will follow-up with punishments when he gets home.
Right now here is no downside to using bad language. The teacher talks to him; he sits out of something. Oh well, those punishments are easily and quickly forgotten; they don't mean much. He knows he's going home soon and there is no punishment at home, so why not do it? It makes him feel big; even being punished for it at school is a bit of a status symbol.
BUT punishment at home and seeing that mom is upset about the behavior will have more of an impact. He doesn't do it at home because he knows he will be punished.
If you continue to not punish at home for behavior at school, you will regret it because the school behavior will continue to get worse until you put a boundary in place.
