For the past 6 months, my son has not had any potty accidents at night, and wakes to potty 2-3x times per night, which is GREAT, I do realize. However, he can't seem to manage to do this without help, which means my husband and I have to get up with him. That in itself has taken a toll on us, and we've tried to encourage him to do this on his own, without luck. He can definitely manage the potty thing alone during the day, but at night, he refuses to go without our help and he will whine or cry until we go in there. Now, lately, we've had an additional problem where we get him up to potty and he doesn't want us to leave the room afterwards, erupting in sobs when we do. So, this has become disruptive to the whole house. I am at a loss for what to do. I can't keep getting up with him and getting screamed at. Talking to him at night or the next day about it isn't helping. Any suggestions??
Im new here, so I can't figure out how to respond to questions. So I'll answer here.. it's mostly the getting out of bed thing that annoys him the most. He won't do it without our help. I like the potty in the room suggestion, maybe a closer potty would help.
He began waking at night to potty even when he was in pulllups still. He refused to pee in them once awake. We stopped using them because they were never wet.
He has a night light and easy to manage pjs. He is very tired and a bit disoriented when he wakes, so he just won't get out of bed. He has one of those "ok to wake" clocks to keep him from getting up to early I the morning... maybe that's part of the problem? He sees that the red light is on and knows he can't get out ofbed yet.
Haven't consulted his doctor yet. Didn't occer to me that needing to potty at night was not normal.
What do you mean, the "getting out of bed thing?" He can't get out of bed on his own? Does he have a night light? Easy to use PJs? What exactly is the problem?
Also getting up two to three times a night is a LOT, what does his doctor say?
Needing to potty at night is not abnormal. Some of us have to go during the night, and that's just the way it is. My husband and I both need to pee at least once during the night. I'm pretty sure this has been true for me for most of my life.
However, I would consult his pediatrician because he's needed to get up multiple times. I would guess that getting up once at night is fine, but 2 or 3 times seems excessive.
I would call his doctor. Better safe than sorry.
My daughter does this. She is just not awake enough to go on her own, and that is why she cries. We go with her, get it done and get back to bed.
It will be less disruptive if you just go with him. He may *seem* completely awake, but he may not be. It took us a long time to figure that out for our daughter! I used to get SO MAD! :) I really did think she was trying to be controlling, but she had no idea she was even doing it! After we figured it out, it was much more peaceful.
It's completely normal to wake to use the bathroom, but I would be a little concerned at the frequency. What do you consider to be night? As in, how many times does he need to go to the bathroom in an 8 hour period?
Definitely ask your doctor, but do keep in mind that it IS NORMAL to get up to use the bathroom in the night, only the frequency may be the trouble.
Is he having a problem maneuvering his pjs to go, or with walking to the bathroom? For both my kids, we put a little potty in their room with a night light (put a lot of mats around it for bad aim), and they both were able to use it independently without our help. Then we praised the results the next morning.
Is HE waking to go potty at night by himself or do you wake him to use the potty?
A messed up sleep cycle isn't worth a dry bed in the morning.
He needs his sleep and it needs to be uninterrupted.
(You need it too.)
Put him in pullups at bedtime and let him sleep.
He'll be done with them when he wakes up dry in the morning every day for 2 whole weeks in a row.
Many kids wet the bed till they are 11 or 12 yrs old.
Our son managed to stay dry through the night when he was 7.
Ask any pediatrician and they'll tell you how common this is.
His bladder can't age any faster than it already is and waking him up for potty duty is making everyone miserable.
You do know kids aren't supposed to wake up to go right? They're supposed to sleep all night like grown ups.
The brain signals the bladder to stop producing urine when they fall asleep. Then when he wakes up he should feel his bladder fill then the urge to go. That's how everyone is supposed to go during the night.
Of course there's that occasion when we drink a lot of water after dinner and of course we're going to wake up during the night to go.
So, perhaps if you limited his water intake after dinner he'd sleep longer during the night instead of having to wake up so often.
It could also be that he is waking up and not able to go back to sleep so his kidney's turn on and his bladder fills. It's one or the other.
He's drinking too much or he's waking up and then staying awake until he needs to go then comes to get you.
Needing to go that many times during the night is probably a bit abnormal. Once during the night is more normal. So, I would start with the pedi, but also maybe giving him a flashlight that he can carry to the bathroom with him might help.
Is he afraid of the dark? What about night lights in his room, in the hall and in the bathroom?
As for sobbing when you leave, do a truncated version of what you do when he goes to bed. For my DD, that includes leaving the "big light" on.
I think if you find out why he doesn't want to go by himself, you will also find out why he yells. Be calm and firm. I wouldn't want to be yelled at 2-3 times a night by a 4 yr old, either. Beyond the potty, I would treat this like a "going to bed" issue, which may include buying earplugs.
It sounds to me like he figure out how to get your attention all night. My DD used to be "helpless" during the day, til I stopped helping and encouraged her to do it. Now I'm not jumping up 10x a day for someone else's potty break.
In the meantime, you can put a waterproof sheet and a towel on his bed in case he pees the bed. I wouldn't call night wakings abnormal, but if his bladder can't hold all night, then you may need to try things like limiting liquids close to bed time.
I would put a portable kids potty in his room.
If he has night lights, he'll be able to see.
Also, try to limit the amount of liquid he intakes right before bed.
I don't let my child see me drinking water right before bed.
I'll, also, tell him to take a little sip if he feels like his mouth is dry.
And I would make an appt w/the doctor just to ensure waking this many
times during the night is normal.
Is your husband the one screaming at you? Tell hubby you are working on this issue w/your son to get to the root of the problem so he'll get off your back! Tell him he can sleep with ear plugs, too. That should help.
Getting up to go potty at night IS normal, but two or three times is a lot, for anyone. I would mention it to the doc, make sure there's nothing physically wrong.
Maybe he's anxious for some reason and just using getting up to go potty as an excuse to get out of bed and be with you...?
When my daughter was 4, she would call to me in the middle of the night to escort her to the bathroom. But, it would only happen once per night, sometimes not at all. But she did eventually grow out of it.
He's only 4 and the house is dark, so you will have to deal with it. Just be sure to switch off with hubby (assuming you both work).
Try to talk to him before bedtime and establish some rules. That might help.
L., your 4 year old has you hoodwinked. Here you are thinking that it's great that he wakes up to potty. It isn't! What he is doing is using pottying as an excuse for you to get up and pay attention to him.
Our brains make a substance that stops urine production while we sleep, once we get to a certain brain development. Some kids who pee in their sleep don't have this production, OR they are such deep sleepers that they sleep through it. OR there are stressors in their lives that cause bedwetting.
Unless your son is peeing a potty full of pee-pee, which would mean that his brain isn't helping him not make urine at night, this is purely behavioral. And you need to treat it as such.
You say that you can't keep getting up with him and getting screamed at. Are you talking about HIM screaming at you? Stop allowing it. Tell him that from now on, he goes to the potty by himself. Put his potty chair in his room with a towel under it, give him a night light and expect him to sit down on the potty by himself. Tell him point blank that you aren't getting up with him anymore, and MEAN IT. Let him cry. If he comes in your room, march him right back in his room, close his door and go back to bed.
It will be hard for a week. When you are 100% consistent with not giving into him, no matter how much he screams and sobs, he will stop doing this. He will probably stop waking in the middle of the night to potty, too.
This is all about him controlling you. It's up to you if you allow it. Remember, this is NOT about pottying. This is about putting his parents through hoops during the middle of the night. Be tough with him and stop allowing him to do this to you.
This is about more than using the potty. He doesn't really HAVE to pee that often - he wants YOU. He should not be getting up 2-3 times a night. He's not getting enough sleep, and neither are you. He's waking up, deciding he can't relax or go back to sleep, and he knows that enough screaming or sobbing will get him plenty of attention and comfort.
The trick is to not talk to him, at all. Tell him that night time is for sleeping, not for talking. Do not engage him at all. If he goes into the bathroom, do not go with him or stay there with him.
You may need a hellish weekend to get this done - maybe just suck it up and ruin your Labor Day weekend. Tell him every night that there's no more talking at night. If he has to pee, fine. Otherwise he needs to learn to calm himself down and go back to sleep. The screaming works because a) you can't stand it, b) you're exhausted, c) the whole household is at risk of being up all night if you don't respond. So he gets rewarded.
You may need to find out what he's concerned about - "monsters", burglars, being alone, bad dreams, etc. But he may not know, or may not be able to verbalize it. It's important that he feel secure, know that his room is safe, etc. But the time to do that is during waking hours and before bed, not at 3 AM in the bathroom.
Find a strategy that you and your husband can agree on and stick to, and know that it's kind of like infants sleeping through the night. Nobody likes "cry it out" but sometimes not rewarding an older child capable of understanding and not giving him the attention is the only way. Whatever you decide on, stick with it even though you will have a few nights of hassle. It's okay to need daytime hours to recover and take naps, which means the child goes into his room alone and lets Mom and Dad nap, which takes time away from his fun during the day. While you don't punish him directly for being afraid at night, you definitely let him know there is a consequence - everyone needs more rest during the day (and fewer fun activities) because we aren't sleeping at night.
