4 Yr Old Bed Wetting

Updated on May 26, 2007
J.C. asks from Lakeside Marblehead, OH
22 answers

I have a 4 yr old boy who seams to be unable to stop wetting the bed at night. I have talked to his doctor about this, she says it is normal for some kids, but she isn't the one doing laundrey or still buying diapers! I am just wondering if there is a method out there I haven't tried yet? I have tried to limit his drinks before bedtime, I make him use the bathroom before he goes to bed. I tried a sticker chart to see if he could earn stickers, but that was a bad idea because he became very emotional when he would wet the bed. He hated to disapoint himself. There are some nights where he wont wet the bed, other nights where he'll soak the bed. Any ideas would be great thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the reasurance! I feel much better to know there are other mothers out there going through what I am. I am just going to pretty much take all your advice and wait it out. We do use pull ups at night which help with the laundry situation. Again thank you all for your input and your help!

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M.R.

answers from Dayton on

Hello,I to had the same problem with my son,he was a little boy with so much energy that when he finally fell asleep he was dead to the world nothing would wake him up, so what worked for me was i set my alarm for like 2 or 3 in the morning and woke him up to use the bath room..he always went back to sleep and eventually started waking up on his own, it became a routine for him and was a much happier little boy they do'nt like it either they just can not controll it.

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A.M.

answers from Dayton on

I don't know if this will help. I am a third shift baby sitter. One of the little boys that I watch would wet the bed as well. He would go to bed at 8:30pm, I would wake him up to pee at 1:30am, and then he would get up for school at 7am. Luckily the boy would go to sleep easily. He was 4 at the time I started this. After a month, he started waking up around that time by hisself. He would still have an occasional accident (1 every month or two) but not nearly as bed as every night.

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C.K.

answers from Columbus on

Some children's bladders develope more slowly then others. My nephew wasn't completely night time trained until he was 5. All that you can really do is put a bed protector on his bed and be patient. It will work itself out in time, but while your waiting, remember that I have 2 in diapers and one on the way, so your closer at bieng through this then I am! Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hello J.. I understand your pain. When my daughter finally started using the toilet (at 3 1/2) I was afraid to put her in pull-ups at night for fear that she wouldn't go in the toilet during the day. We made a game of her sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. It saved on the laundry and the matress. Now days she doesn't wet at night and there are nights where she wants to sleep on the floor and as long as her toys are picked up I'm all for it. Hey, we all need sleep. I think he will start going through the night without wetting. In the mean time I can only suggest the sleeping bag, it save me lots of laundry b/c I only had one thing and the PJs to wash. Best of Luck!

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D.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi J.,
I want to let you know that you should go to www.goodnites.com they have bed wetting info there.I know it is frustrating but i know from experience how upsetting it is for your son.I hope that web site gives you better info. your not going to get from us.Goodluck

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

My almost 4 y/o is the same way. Goodnights work much better than diapers for him. I suggest trying them. They will learn on their own. Theres nothing we can do to encourage it faster that I have found.

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C.J.

answers from Youngstown on

My daughter is 5 and still has trouble sometimes. I use pull ups. Sometimes we have dry pull ups, some times we dont. But we always have a dry bed. Saves on doing laundry. Be patient. It will come.

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T.S.

answers from Dayton on

It looks like you're trying all of the right things. I know it's frustrating, but I'm afraid that overall there's really not much that can be done other than waiting for him to grow out of it. My daughter is 9 and she still has occasional accidents. She's limited on what she can have to drink for 1 1/2 hours before bed and must use the restroom before going to sleep. I also wake her up before I go to bed to use the restroom. She stopped wetting regularly around 6 years old and has only done it on rare occasions since. I was a late developer too. If it becomes a serious problem the doctors can check for birthdefects that sometimes cause less control. I turned out to have a rare but impactful renal defect, my daughter was checked and she didn't but she was still a "late bloomer" when it came to control. Time is really your best bet, but I'd still keep up what you're already doing. Also, since you know this problem persists, do you use night time pull ups? They not only save on the laundry but also help the kids to feel better about themselves.

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D.P.

answers from Columbus on

This is very normal and you'll need to wait it out. It's not fun, and it sounds like your little guy isn't enjoying it either. Don't make a big deal out of it (rewards or punishment) because it only adds stress. He can't help it. Goodnites are great and help keep the sheets dry. I would let your son know it's normal so he doesn't feel bad about himself.

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C.H.

answers from Dayton on

J.,

hi, my name is C., and i have 4 boys of my own. 15 yrs to 27 yrs. i just saw your request. i learned after having 2 brothers that did this until i have no idea how old they were, and watching my mom and dad do anything and everything, and then having my own boys that this is very often a hereditary issue, especially among boys. after my own boys were doing it, their dad's mom, told me their dad had the same problem, as well as his own father and brother. she said her dr told her it was hereditary. then i asked my mom, and she said the same thing, and that my dad also had the prob along with my 2 brothers.

as frustrating as i know it is, if it is a hereditary issue, there is absolutely nothing you can do but be patient. your little boy is prob emotionally frustrated, (or more) than you are physically/emotionally. making him feel like he has failed to do what he knows would make mommy and daddy happy might be killing him inside, no matter how hard he tries to not wet. try to be patient. with my first, i forget how old he was, but we had to go from diapers to those night time pants for bigger kids/people. unfortuantely, this might go on for years. hopefully for all of you, it won't. all mine quit at different ages. i have known other parents with the same issue, also. no medication, punishment, reward system, cutting back drinks, ect, will prob help. only time.

sorry i couldn't give you more hope, and my opinion is only one of many hopefully you have received. maybe someone else does have an idea, but from experience, i feel there is none, but patience, and tons of it!

good luck, and best wishes.

C.

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J.M.

answers from Columbus on

J.~

Hi! I know how frustrating it is to have a bedwetter! Unfortunately, it typically isn't something they can control. I have a 4 year old boy who has been potty-trained since he was 2 but is still in pullups at night. He sleeps so soundly that he simply doesn't wake up to go pee...hence, he would pee the bed. I also used to wet the bed until I was about 9 years old, sometimes it is generational. There are tests your doctor can do if they feel it is a true medical problem otherwise you just have to wait it out. :) Good luck.

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

Hi J.! My son is almost 6 and still needs pull ups at night. My ped says it is normal, almost common for boys/girls to be doing this. Their bladder has not matured completely yet. Also, if there is a family history, the chances are more likely that it will happen. Try not to make a big deal out of it. Make sure he goes right before bed, have him wear a pullup and eventually it will happen!

A.

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T.P.

answers from Canton on

My 6 yr. old still wets the bed on occasion. It's normal. At age 4, it was an almost nightly thing. Do NOT do a reward system with him. He's sleeping, he can't control his bladder. Especially with boys, it takes longer for them to gain complete bladder control. Don't forget how deeply kids sleep, too. So he just doesn't "feel" the need to go. Don't pressure him. Next time he does it, say, 'it's okay honey', 'no big deal', 'don't worry about it'...and mean it. Yes, it's a pain washing the laundry all the time. But we're mommies, that's our job. Encourage him, let him know he's not a bad boy for wetting the bed. Also, you might want to try Good Nights pullups on him for just at night. We did that until he started showing better bladder control. But, seriously, I wouldn't do anything that is going to make him feel bad if he doesn't meet that goal (i.e. the reward system).

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K.I.

answers from Cincinnati on

J.,

Don't pressure your son. Don't limit liquids, which can lead to constipation. Just understand that everyone develops at a different rate, and make peace with the idea of continuing to buy diapers or pull-ups, which will save the loads of laundry. Let him know you love him, and reassure him that it is not his fault, and he will stop wetting the bed at night soon.

Best wishes,
K.

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J.

answers from Cleveland on

As long as you keep to what you are doing, it is just a waiting game. My girls will be six in March and they just stopped wetting at night about two months ago. It was very frustrating to keep having to buy pull ups for night time when I have a three year old too and to hear so many other parenents say their children had been dry at night since they were four! But, it is not something your son is choosing to do, his body just isn't ready. I kept them in the pull ups so I wouldn't have to clean the sheets everyday and eventually they were dry consistently and I got rid of them. GOOD LUCK!

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S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi J.,
You may feel you have all the information you need regarding you son's issue. If not, I'll add that I don't totally agree with some of the statements like "there's nothing you can do about it" and "he will just have to outgrow it." I know of a girl who was still wetting the bed at 21 and when she started on a nutritional regime, it stopped within 6 weeks.
If you want to know what she did, I'd be glad to supply that to you.
S.

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4.

answers from Toledo on

Please know that your pediatrician is right. This is completely normal.

My 11-year-old niece has the same problem. She just sleeps too deeply to be awakened by the urge to urinate and will often wake up soaked. Her mother, especially, has been very hard on her and puts a lot of stress on her to stop the bedwetting behavior. This just stresses her out more, and the behavior continues.

However, though she stays at her grandmother's house quite often (2-3 days a week), she has never had an accident there. I believe this is because Grandma sat her down and said, "If you have an accident, it's no big deal. We'll change the bed together, and then you can go back to sleep. Would you like waffles for breakfast?" The threat of punishment and the stress of disappointment is gone at Grandma's house, and there's never been a problem.

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S.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Sorry, nothing I can think of. My son is 11 and he wet his bed till he was 7 (on and off). He just finally grew out of it.

S.

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J.F.

answers from Lima on

My fiancee's 6 year old is a bed wetter. What we found was that the less of a big deal we made of the situation, the fewer accidents he had at night. Instead of getting angry or frustrated, it is now a very simple matter of letting us know in the morning that the sheets need to be washed, taking a shower, and getting on with the day. He has had far less of a problem since it is not so stressful for him. Which makes it much less stressful for me, as well.

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M.R.

answers from Toledo on

J....
I SO understand!!!! My son is 8 and still has an accident almost every night !!!!! Just recently he started letting us wake him up to go potty without a HUGE fit. But he still has accidents. My daughter is almost 4 1/2 and we are trying to night train them both right now. She can stay dry IF we wake her up at least 2 times a night.

Ugh.... Tell me about the laundry...two kids....at least 2 accidents a night....

Oh well at the moment I am happy with at least a LITTLRE progress. I honestly was starting to wonder in particular about our son. There is light at the end of the tunnel...although is may not seem like it, you just have to figure out what to do until your child's body is ready.

Wish I could help us BOTH more. :-)

M.

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M.H.

answers from Cleveland on

It depends on if he's been doing this from the beginning or it just started..... In some instances it could be due to the fact that the bladder is underdeveloped, or that it's a way to keep your attention due to knowing he's not going to be your baby anymore..... Then there could be urinary tract infections.... There are many reasons....
I can't help much, but I can tell you that you are not alone!!!!

I am going thru the same thing with my now 5 yr. old daughter..... I never had any problems potty training her, she let me know when she was ready to be potty trained (which was actually quite easy to do)..... She never wet the bed at night until I got pregnant w/ my last child, she use to even get up in the middle of the night on her own to go to the bathroom.....
Now no matter what I do it doesn't seem to help.... I've done all I can think to do (cut drinks, getting her up at night to go to the bathroom)... She has become a very sound sleeper, and I've noticed that she constantly has to go to the bathroom no matter how little she drinks....
I never punish/yell at her, because I don't want her to be afraid of telling me that she wet the bed and hiding it from me... She does not wet the bed everyday, but I let her know that accidents do happen and it's alright as long as she tells me she did it!!!!
Try to be a little sympathetic, because they fell bad enough about it already... I have resorted to buying pull-ups (even though her mattress is plastic), because the laundry can be too much...... I buy them in bulk at BJ's (the pull-ups are cheaper than Goodnites), and she feels better about it!!!!

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J.L.

answers from Dayton on

I told my son that he had to go in the big boy potty so he could teach his little sister how. He was really into having another baby in the family, so he started going great. A lot of doctor's will tell you it is a sign of regression in the child. They "feel they wont be the baby anymore so they regress in what they were doing normally". At least that is what my son's doctor told me to watch out for when I started seeing signs. If your child is really into the pregnancy though, use it to your advantage. It helps. Hunter went potty in the "big boy potty" the very next day and has had like 2 wetting accidents since.

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