4 Yr Old Potty Training Troubles

My son will be 4 in january and we just inally got him to start training in july. I had the same problem as you he would NOT sit on the potty. He was just being stubborn. I just took away his diapers. (yeah i know i am mean mommy) I bought thoes thick trainning underware and rubberpants for over them. When he wet i would not change him untill he came to me and asked me to. He did not at all like the feeling of the pee running down his leg and caught on pretty quick. Now poop is a different story. he outright refused to poop on the potty untill about 5 weeks ago. I put him in preschool 3 days a week and pooping time is when he is at school. I guess he decided it would beembarassing if he went in his pants at school. Since the first day he has not had an accident there or at home!

Put her in underwear. With both of my boys when it was time to train we just went to undies, with the understanding that there was no going back. The first day with my oldest we had 13 accidents. He was begging for his pullup, but I told him no, you are a big boy now and big boys use the potty. Once he knew that he could not get his diaper back it went better. The second day he had 2 accidents, and than one or two a week for few weeks. This was at 22 months old. At 4, your daughter knows what she needs to do, but she knows if she does not want to you will not make her, she learned that last time. I would not do rewards or stickers for each time, her reward for going on the potty is not peeing down her leg, but maybe one for the end goal. With my youngest we used a reward, but not for each time. It was a reward for staying dry for one week. He wanted these toy cars, so we bought them and put them on shelf behind the toilet so he could see them each time he used the potty as a reminder. That worked well for him, but we also went to undies with no going back so he knew it was either use the potty or get wet.

We struggled with our daughter at first. We quickly realized that pull ups are just showing her it's still ok because they are just like diapers. So put her in some undies, we had to go through a couple accidents in order for her to understand that thats what the potty is for. Older kids do help in this case as well!
We lived in a four-plex full of older kids. It was embarassing for her to have to stop playing with them because she needed a diaper change. She is very conservative about being naked around anybody, so the running around naked thing wouldn't work for us.
We tried reading some books and sing some songs with her as she sits on the potty. It helps at relaxing them just a little.
Good luck!

Back off a few days and then put her in panties and hopefully she'll learn to stay dry quickly. Don't pressure her but do gently remind her to "just try". We had to back off for a while as well. Don't stress so much. I know it feels like this process is going to last forever. She will get it! Hang in there.

I had a friend years ago who simply had her kids run around the house naked when it was potty training time (of course, it happened to coincide with the warmer weather! LOL). If I remember correctly, all her kids were trained by this method in 3 days or less! And then they got their pants back. In all seriousness, though, it sounds like your daughter actually has a fear of the potty, so battling and bribing probably won't work in this case. Have you discussed this with your pediatrician yet? Maybe he or she can offer some insight based on their experience. I'm sorry I don't have a solution for you - it certainly seems like a child her age (especially a girl) should be "ready" to use the potty, but every child is different. I think getting to the bottom (no pun intended!) of why she is fearful would be the first step in the process. Good Luck!

Check out these potty training tips, hope they help!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/potty+training?utm_c...

Hi A.,
I agree with other Mom's that say let them run around naked...we did that with our then 2 1/2 year old and she was pee trained within a week...pooping on the potty was another issue....eventually I had to not buy any more pullups because if she knew that I had them in the house she would refuse the potty...I know it sounds mean but it was the ONLY way she would poop on the potty...in the beginning she held it for about a week but her pedi encouraged us to not give in...the minute we did we would be back where we started.....Good luck and just try to stick to your guns...eventually she will get it....our daughter was afraid of public toilets and they way they flush!! Btu as she got older she got better!!
Meg

Sounds to me like your little girl has learned something she can control! First thing I would do, is stop everything you're doing now for a few days. Let everything settle down. Then, with your daughter, I would set up a schedule. Every 30 minutes is unneccessary.
Tell her that we're going to go potty when you wake up in the morning. Then we'll try again after morning snack, perhaps. Then again after lunch (or right before nap, if she still naps.) We'll try again after afternoon snack, then again after dinner. Then we'll go right before bed. Associate pottying with certain times of day that she has in her routine.

I would try that for a couple weeks. Don't say anything else about pottying at any other time. And when she does go, sit with her, maybe offer her a book. Don't give any unneccessary praise, or pressure. If she goes, fine, if not, fine too. I wouldn't offer any rewards.

I have found, with experience, that the less pressure we put on a pottier, the better! If they know it gets our goat, they'll use that to their advantage!

....mmm, I feel you! have you tried to pair her up with an older friend (also girl) for playdates so she can feel more urged to become a "big girl like x?". just an idea...good luck!!!