41 Tired, Headaches, Upset Stomach and More Help

Updated on April 18, 2010
M.C. asks from Waynesboro, VA
22 answers

I am a virginia Mom of 2 girls. 2 and 6. Please give me some suggestions or advice on why I am always so tired. I am 41 and I have headaches all of the time. (also upset stomach). I gat about 2 good hours of sleep. Our 2 year old does not sleep well. Actually the best way to get her asleep is with the sound of the running vacum. (we recently bought a white noise vacum cd) But I am pooped. Do you think that I need a physical? My headaches turn easliy into migraines. Maybe I am going through the early hormone changes. I feely moody and just plain worn out. I think that my husband is getting tired of me feeling like this. But I do not know what to do. Help. I do not have timefor me time. I love being around my kids. But I really am just plain worn out and tired of feeling sick. Thanks for you time.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

allergies?/ I have allergies that give me a headache and all the drainage upsets my stomach.

I tried over the counter zyrtec last night and woke up feeling much better.

2 moms found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

M.,
I have been there and worse. I am a wellness educator and would love to help you. Contact me if you would like to know what I did to get healthy and migraine free.
Victoria

2 moms found this helpful

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Two hours of sleep is not sufficient to feel healthy at all. I'd start there before worrying about hormonal imbalances. Getting the two-year-old to sleep through the night will probably help you get more sleep. More activity for her, pushing back sleep time, ensuring she's full before bedtime, and letting her cry it out are all methods to help your 2-year-old sleep better and independently. Not sure if she's in need of the white noise vac CD, but whatever works to get her to be a better sleeper, which will help you tremendously. If you're sleep deprived, your thought processes are slower, you are more prone to tension and anxiety, and it's no wonder you have migraines. If you're a working mom, that just makes it all even harder. You are a human being, not a machine. You need rest, you need interests, and you need some peace and quiet. Your adrenal glands can become overworked/overstressed and cause your immune system to go haywire. Change the environment before running to the doctor, though after the environment is settled, you probably will still need a professional eval. to help you toward full recovery.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.E.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M. -

I agree with everyone that the lack of sleep and time to yourself is probably making you feel so ill. If you find that once your sleep improves and you have some me-time you're still feeling bad, it could be that you are still sleep-deprived (it takes a long time to catch up!) or there could be more going on, in which case a complete physical and bloodwork would probably help.

You mention your 2 year old sleeps better with white-noise, which makes me think she might have some sensory issues. If she's oversensitive to sound, she might just be waking up because she hears something (anything) and then can't get back to sleep. My now-4-year-old has sensory issues, and until we got them figured out, she rarely slept and was miserable (and so were we).

If she's extremely sensitive to sound and/or sensitive to other things (touch, taste, smells, - either over-seeking them (needing stimulation) or shying away from them (overstimulated)), I would strongly suggest an evaluation by an Occupational Therapist (OT) well-versed in sensory issues. (most pediatric OT's are familiar with sensory issues, but not all are). Your insurance should cover it, especially if you use a preferred provider. The OT will easily tell you if it's something they can help you with.

Good luck - feel free to email me if you have any further questions. L., mom to 2 girls, 10 and 4

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W.S.

answers from Norfolk on

You don't mention in your post whether your husband shares nighttime duties with you when your 2 year old awakens. If he shares the sleepless nights with you for a week or two, he may appreciate why you are exhausted with only 2 good hours of sleep each night. Remember, if you are SAHM, that doesn't mean you don't have a full time job during the day that you need to be awake and refreshed for. By age 2, your daughter should be sleeping more than 2 hours at a stretch. Have you spoken to your pediatrician about her wakefulness and what could be causing it? I too had a son with trouble sleeping early on, but by age 2, he only woke up in the middle of the night about 3 times a week, and I still managed to get about 4 hours unbroken at a time. Solve her sleep problem and you may find that this is the root cause of your other symptoms, because chronic sleep deprivation can mess up all sorts of other bodily processes. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi M.,
I'm 43 and I'm with ya.
Going to the doctor is by far the wisest next step. In the meantime, do the following at a minimum: iron could be a culprit, try taking an iron supplement and eating your greens etc. Dehydration could be a simple problem too: drink water, cut back on caffeine and diet sodas and other potential diuretics, might help with the headaches too. If you are drinking wine or similar at night, stop. Saps your energy and dehydrates you further. Finally, sleep -- see if you can figure out a way to help your own sleep routine, like a bath before bed or take some melatonin or a cup of chamomile before bed.
You don't just sound tired, you sound depressed too, so discuss with your doctor and with your husband. Maybe a getaway with DH would help, if there is a grandparent who can take the girls for a couple of nights.
Hang in there,
K.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

M.:

WOW!! Sounds like you need a weekend at a hotel with pampering!!!

First find out why your 2 year old does not sleep well - light sleeper, ear problems, what? If you can get her to sleep through the night, you might be able to sleep through the night.

I do believe that you should get a physical to ensure that you are not anemic (lack of sleep can lead to low levels in iron).

I live in Reston too - I'd love to go walking with you - put the younger one in a stroller and walk while your six year old is in school. That might help as well.

You MUST make time for yourself. Friday is MY night - hubby does dinner etc. I'm "NOT" here - whether I stay home or go out with my friends - I am ignored....just the way I like it - I can watch movies on MY tv, read books, or just BE - NO ONE asks me questions, NO ONE talks to me!! YIPPEE!!!!

Let me know how I can help!!!

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from New York on

Hi M., I think that you should go to the doctor and have a physical make sure the doc checks for anemia and B12 deficiency. Headaches can be caused from tight neck muscles. Sometimes massage can help, exercise which stretches the neck muscles will also help loosen things up sometimes you need a physical therapist to help you learn correct posture, exercise and stretching techniques. I get headaches from muscle tension and I also get migraines. I had to see a physical therapist because of the headaches resulting from muscle spasms in my neck and shoulder muscles. The therapy helped alot. I see a neurologist for my migraines, I actually have chronic daily migraine which has been relieved with medication. Headaches and muscle tension will cause fatique. Hope you feel better soon.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I agree I would go to your doctor. There can be a ton of reasons why you feel the way you do from low iron to allergies/intolerances to food (specific foods, preservatives, additives) to celiac. Good luck and hope you feel better soon!

1 mom found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, M. - This sounds like me 4 years ago. I am older than you and had been EXHAUSTED since my kids were born. A friend introduced me to a wellness company. I figured I had nothing to lose by trying their products, so I converted my home. Within 2 weeks I was sleeping through the night without sleep medication, my IBS was gone, my GERD was gone, I was able to start weaning off my antidepressant, my allergy symptoms were 1/2, and over time I noticed I was getting fewer migraines that responded more quickly to less medication. Happy to provide you with more info. Feel free to contact me directly. Good luck to you! It is not fun feeling the way you do! Best, N.
____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

You're always tired because you don't get enough sleep! You REALLY need NEED sleep to maintain your health...I always start getting a sore throat when I am tired (I have a 3 mo old) - but everyone's lack of sleep presents differently. Try to keep your 2 year old active during the day and do a night-time routine with her to go to sleep (activity will help with your health as well)...and keep doing the white noise - that works! Also look at her diet - is she eating a lot of sugar or caffeine or anything that would keep her awake in the evenings? Do a little research on her sleep, so you can sleep...then you should start feeling better. Migraines suck and they can often lead to nausea....so it will go hand in hand...also monitor your caffeine intake - that can lead to serious headaches...try a few different changes and see if that makes you have more energy...also - try to unwind and decrease your stress - don't plan too many hectic activities and cram them all into one day - try to relax and enjoy your kids just running in the yard or playing at the park...(wear sun glasses though - that can give you a headache also!). I sometimes try to multi-task - watch a show on tv, check emails, talk to my baby, pay bills, etc all at one time and it stresses me out - then I sat back and thought - I am doing this to myself! I turned the tv off, closed the computer screen and started reading a devotional aloud to baby and I felt so much better!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Pls get a physical and get your thyroid checked.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Definitely go for a physicial and ask that they check your thyroid and autoimmune antibodies - many autoimmune diseases appear after having kids and in your 40s.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You are exhausted! I know how that is...my oldest did not sleep through the night (more than 2hrs at a time) for 5 1/2 YEARS! I had a lot of physical issues manifest due to the exhaustion (migraines, irritable bowel, weight gain, depression,etc.). Go see your doctor asap and get a full physical and blood work done. Then work out a plan with your husband so you can get some rest! Go over all the things that go on in the house (cleaning,laundry, bedtime, baths, errands, etc.). come up with a plan on who does what and what can slide a little without anyone being bothered.

I was/am a SAHM so I felt like I had to do everything! House spotless, dinner made (gourmet of course) every night, kids spotless and entertained constently, you know perfect. Then I hit rock bottom. When I finally talked to my husband he really didn't care if the house (or kids) was spotless, or if I cooked or ordered out. He wanted his wife back rested and happy!

Trust me your husband (and kids) will benefit from you getting enough rest and a break every once in a while. If you have a friend with kids see if you can do play dates and trade off. So you can take a nap for a couple hours while someone watches your kids. If you can get a babysitter and go out with your husband. It is also okay to let your kids watch an educational video so you can have a break. Look at your diet, see if you are eating healthy...truly healthy. Watch things like caffine & sugar they make energy up & downs dramatic. Exercise...it will give you more energy. Go for walks either alone or with the family. The fresh air will do you good.

It won't happen overnight but if you really look to see what you can change to make yourself a priority. You've heard the saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.K.

answers from Washington DC on

As someone who has worked in the health field for more thazn 20years, I have several thoughts. You need good vitamins, I can recommend scientifically proven to work ones, to help your body get back into a helpful to tiself place. I think that you probably need a good sleep study, I bet you have problems breathing while you sleep. I would bet that your diet is full of processed, easy to make food. Whole foods with many colors will help you and your children. You would be surprised at how much food has to do with how we feel. Also, is there someone that you trust to leave your children with for 36hours? I would suggest that you plan ME TIME, just like you plan DOctors visits, or wnything wlse important to you. YOU are important to your kids, you need to understand that. Is there someone that you can leave your kids with to just take several walks around the block? The kids need for YOU to be taking care of yourself just as well as you take care of them. If you would like some quick suggestions, e-mail me: ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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T.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M.,

I think you should get your Thyroid hormone level checked. All the symptoms you complained of could be from low Thyroid.
Just a suggestion!
T.

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L.E.

answers from Columbia on

A good through physical would probably give you piece of mind and maybe some good suggestions for getting back on track. It IS harder for us moms over 40 with little ones. I know I struggle more now than I did with the first 10 years ago...... Lack of good sleep will really take a toll on you. If you aren't eating well or exercising that takes toll. Could be slightly anemic or your thyroid could be off which result in fatigue..... Not having "me" time also affects you overall. So lots of possible reasons, but you may need help narrowing it down. Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from Washington DC on

you say you get about 2 good hours of sleep per night, and you wonder why you're tired??! I suppose it's always wise to tell someone to go to the doctor if they're feeling sick, but really, the most obvious answer is that there's nothing wrong with you except chronic sleep deprivation. I don't mean to be harsh, but do you understand that the human body needs sleep as much as it needs air, food and water? at this point, you need to prioritize your sleep. work on getting your two-year-old to sleep through the night, get some support from your husband in terms of nighttime parenting, and get at LEAST 6 hours, straight, for several weeks, and then if you're still not feeling better you can consider going to the doctor. but for now, your primary concern should be your own sleep; you should focus on prioritizing your own basic survival needs.

good luck. I feel for you.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

obviously you're exhausted and run-down and a physical might help identify some areas you could supplement. i'd also consult a naturopath, because allopathic medicine is useful but has limits. depression could also factor in here. get yourself checked out and get some help. it could be as simple as a homeopathic thyroid booster, the right allergy med or a mild anti-depressant. i'll be praying for you.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi M., I think you should go to the doc and get a check up and see whats going on. But I do have some info that may help you and actually just posted this for someone else. I had my kids in my mid-30's (I'm 43 now with a 10 and 7 yo and 14 yo step dtr) and I'm sure it's a little harder for us "older" moms than the younger ones! That being said, I have been taking a liquid vitamin/mineral suppliment for the last several weeks and have found it to work wonders! Not only am I getting my vitamins/minerals in, but I've noticed I'm sleeping better and focusing better and more energy to get things done. I haven't turned into super woman by any means, but it has made a difference and maybe it will for you as well. The cost is only about $1 per day and it has a FREE business opportunity as well. Check out the website and make sure you "Take the Tour": http://www.shopGBG.com/fheck Let me know if you have any questions and I hope you are feeling better soon!

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S..

answers from Washington DC on

If you feel like me then I know you feel like you could sleep for a week.

Go and get a complete physical. Get blood work done, have your thyroid check really well.

Try to get more sleep. Sleep is very important.
Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Make sure that you are getting sun everyday.

Try to keep the TV off. Walk with the family.

Make sure you give your husband some special time, that will make him feel good and it will help you feel good as well (with the mood swings).

I wish you the best.
Take care.

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R.C.

answers from Washington DC on

When my son was about six months old, I started feeling really tired and flu-like symptoms and had no energy. After 3 doctors and a bunch of tests, I finally ended up at a gastronologists and found out that it was a dietary problem. I was allergic to most of the grains. Many people are finding that they are celiac and allergic to wheat and wheat byproducts. Gluton-solutions.com has more information or you can google celiac for more information. You can try this diet for two weeks and if you start to feel better and have more energy then you will know that you have this type of an allergy (or you can undergo tests to find out). You can buy these foods at Whole Foods, Healthway (you can get a 10% discount if you ask), some Giants, Trader Joes and Wegmans.

Hope this helps.

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