5-Year-old Only Wants TV. Long Summer...

Updated on June 18, 2011
J.O. asks from Novi, MI
21 answers

My 5-year-old is constantly asking to use his TV time. He'll go and play and ask, can I use my tv time? He is allowed four 30 minute chunks and another 30 before bed, so 2.5 hours total. Most days it's less because I count the 20 minute shows as 30 anyway.

We have every toy possible, a wonderful yard, and he has similarly aged younger siblings.
I take them out to places and have him, especially, in lots of morning activities. Most days he gets home after noon. But then that's still 8 hours to fill!! All he wants to do is TV. It drives me nuts!!!!!!!!!

Next year I put him in an afterschool program twice a week, and it's not cheap. But when he's home he just wants to watch TV. It's not that I LET him veg in front of the TV, either. If I say not now, or you have no TV time left, etc., he still just wants TV and keep talking about TV. I hate TV!!!!

If I say no TV, it's not long before he spirals downward into fighting with his siblings or totally bouncing off the wall like a madman. I wish he were in a daycare 8 to 6pm! LOL. Then he wouldn't get any TV at all, and they could keep him busy. It's HARD to entertain him all the time, and we have had little luck with him entertaining himself, as I explained.

What can I do next?

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I'm wondering if it's the only way he can get his brain to calm down.

When I was a kid I was like that with reading - almost hyper-lexic. I HAD to be reading all the time! If my parents had taken books away from me I would have been nuts! That being said, I realize that excessive reading and TV watching are two totally different issues.

Does he have any ADD/HD-ish qualities? If so he may not be able to learn how to self-regulate his brain yet.

I could be totally "off" - it's just a thought.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Do you think you've made TV too taboo? If you were nonchalant about it would he quit asking? Is he using his TV time only for educational programs? Do you think if you let him have one day where that is all he did it would 'get it out of his system' or would it create a monster? Just a few thoughts.

3 moms found this helpful

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We did TV tickets. Each child got 4 tickets valued at 30 minutes each day. If they used them - that was fine. Once they were gone, they were gone.
If you returned your tickets at bedtime, you got 25 cents per ticket. Thus, you could earn $7 per week and purchase a really good lego or toy with your funds after only 2 weeks...
My daughter turned hers in often. My son used every single minute of TV time he could. TV tickets were used for TV, computer, and video games.
YMMV
LBC

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Put the tv in the garage. Trust me, it's going to be hard, but the problem is that TV sometimes zaps children of the ability to initiate play, they get so hooked on passively being entertained. (I saw this at my preschool, most usually when a child was visiting the grandparents over the weekend and got unlimited tv time. They'd walk around, complaining "I don't know what to do", when usually they were self-sufficient. It would take a day or two for them to get back on track.)

Really, put it out of sight, and let it be that way. And when he talks about it, give a couple suggestions of ideas for him to do, and then IGNORE it. No answering about tv, no engaging. It's just gone.

I know, rather cold-turkey, but it does work. Once it's unavailable (and keep it out of sight-- put it under a blanket) there's nothing to argue about!

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I think you have to have a more scheduled day with him, daily.
More structured.

Have actual things for him to do/the time of it/and telling him what his day will be like per activities and what you have to do.

Some kids, left to their own time management, can't do that. They are young.
So actually map out for him, what is going on, when, and why.
Also map out what time he can watch tv., or per his favorite shows and when that comes on. Or, record it on the DVR for later. If you have a DVR.

All day, is a long day for a kid. Unless they are structured in their day and scheduled.
You don't have to 'entertain' him per say... but have tasks/things for him to do. Even if that is, helping you with chores. Then he can 'earn' time too. For example.
You said it is hard for him to entertain himself... well maybe just start small. Play-doh. Moon Sand. Those are activities that a child plays on their own. And it is creative.

Make playing on his own or entertaining himself a challenge. Actually tell him: try and entertain yourself with this Moon Sand. (my kids love Moon Sand. It is a good activity). Then put on a timer, maybe for like 20 minutes, and see if he can do that. And mostly, tell him see how long he can do that and try and beat the clock, etc. Thereby, he is learning 'skills' on how to be more self-reliant and being creative with himself.

Hugs.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Of course he wants tv.
I bet he'd like the idea of eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but that's not good for him either.
You should try every so often just turning the tv off for a week or two at a time.
Just lock up the plug (there are plug locks that are wonderful and not expensive at all).
There's reading (read to him when ever you can) and coloring/drawing the characters that have been read about and Legos and art's n crafts, and dozens of other things to do.
He's just use to going to a familiar crutch (tv) for entertainment and it's stunting his imagination.
It will be hard at first, but if you keep it up, he'll need it less.
If he's got energy - let him jump rope for a half hour outside.
There are bounce house type trampolines that are great for this, too.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.N.

answers from Boston on

2.5 hours sounds like a lot of tv for a kid, actually and I think all those blocks are just too much. We were watching too much and it was such a pain, DD was always asking for one more and always pestering me for the tv.

My solution was a 1 show per day limit. It is very easy for her to figure out. When it's over she is done. If she pesters me for more, tomorrow is tv free. I also realized that watching tv in the am affected they way she played throughout the dy. So no more tv in the morning. She can watch the show when I am making dinner. It really solved a lot of problems for me, the tv was driving me insane and we were only watching it at all because I wanted a break, but it really wasn't worth it at all bc then she kept wanting more.

I think it is hard for them to moderate and where he can watch all these blocks of tv, it's no wonder he keeps asking. He doesn't know he just finished watching it a few minutes ago and the pace of tv is so disruptive to their rhythm, I think all those scattered blocks actually make it worse than if it were one huge block (which I am not recommending). I'd suggest either turning it off completely or going to one show at a specific time. There are so many worthwhile ways to fill 8 hours when you are 5 if you don't have a tv to zone out to. Really.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I completely agree with S L M.

TV is his currency- use it to your advantage ;o)

No TV if he fights with his sibs during the no tv times of the day- I wouldn't say for the whole day- just the next time slot- because it's an opportunity for him to work on his behavior. It gives him a chance to improve his behavior and feel the reward.

Also if one of his tv times is -let's say 4:00, you can tell him that he can watch a show @ 4:00, but he won't be able to if he asks sooner. Show him on a digital clock that the 1st # will be 4.

I tell my children that too much tv/ video games makes them lose their imagination, so if they start complaining that they are bored, I tell them "Uh-oh! You're losing your imagination- that's not good. If you can show me that I'm wrong, then I'll let you play games/ watch tv after dinner"

I've also told them too much turns their brains to mush. One time we went to the pedi for a check-up, and they actually asked him if it was true. Thankfully, he backed me up- lol.

Good luck!!! =o)

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

2 and half hours a day is a lot of tv time for a 5 year old. I am a nanny for a family. the kids are 6 and 10. they get a 30 minute time per day of their choice of screen time. screen time counts as tv, video game and or computer. If they want anymore than that they have to do reading to earn it. and they get as much extra computer/tv as they do reading. they are already required to do 20 minutes a day of reading. if they do not do that then they loose that much of the tv time. . so no reading they loose 20 mins of that available time. make tv a privilege not a given. he will continue to talk about it as long as he knows you will give in. just turn it off and leave it off till the hottest part of the day and then let him have it during rest time. good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I'd advise less tv. Limit it to one show at a specific time of the day or just take it away all together. This will eliminate the whole, can I watch it now? How about now? thing and force him to find something else to do. He probably won't like it the first day or two but he'll adjust. Good Luck!

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

At 5, it may be hard for him to really understand the idea of 4 blocks of 30 min each plus before bedtime. So that may be one of the reasons he keeps asking. It's like he always has another block of TV coming so that's his first instinct to ask for. It's too easy. You may have better luck setting the times yourself. It also may be a hard week but you could try saying no tv until before bedtime. If he has siblings, he should be able to play. It's important he learns how to. I know that's hard if he actually gets destructive but could you give him an area that it's ok to be destrutive? I think TV can be like a drug for little kids and he may need to go cold turkey for a few afternoons to find out he can get absorbed in something and not need TV. Right now he may always have TV on his mind so not let himself get really involved in someting else. And could you have a friend of his over a bit too once you're home?

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

how about not even giving him those 4 time slots? How would that hurt him? I seriously don't think it would.....in my daycare, we watch ONE show a day.....if that!

Currently, I have 2 boys- both almost 2yo.....& 2 girls- a 3yo & a 4yo. My previous group was all pre-KG & 5yos. One show a day is more than enough...simply because I keep music going most of the time. We listen to Music Choice thru our cable company....using the Toddler Music, Soundscapes, & some top 40 country (all of the families listen to country at home....so it's ok with them).

For my teenager, he is not allowed to turn on any electronics until he spends time outside. He has options: he can ride his bike or his Vespa, he can walk the dogs, or he can just hang outside.....listening to music, etc. I don't care as long as he's outside! I am very proud to say that this has worked so well the past few summers that....there are days when he doesn't even hit the game system until close to dinner time. On the days when he does game, I make sure he heads outside on a regular basis.

Stand firm.....& I hope life improves!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

He's 5. I would tell him that if a LITTLE TV time isn't good enough for him, the next option is ZERO TV time and he might want to think carefully about which one he chooses.
I had a kid come stay with me and he bugged me relentlessly about TV so I caved.
I put it on the Jewelry Television Channel. Suddenly, there were other things he wanted to do.
:)
Every minute your son throws a fit, let him know you're counting because it's a minute off his TV time. When the other kids get their TV time before bed, he can go to bed without any.
TV isn't a bad thing, but if he wants to build his entire life around it, you might just have to unplug it all together.

Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Okay, well first of all I don't agree with the hoopla surrounding tv. I set no limits and my kids don't watch tv all day long. We start shows all the time and when the natives get restless I shut them off. We color, pretend, pull the furniture back and dance, use learning programs on the computer, take a walk, look at books, and once you add in breakfast, lunch, snack, and a quiet time that almost always turns into sleep time even for the older kids, there just isn't that much time for tv.

BUT, if your little one really loves tv, use it to your advantage. Sign up for cosmeo.com and get him onto learning documentaries. There are 30,000 of them from ages prek to a senior in highschool. They have almost any subject you can even think of.

It's really important that you teach him to finish what he starts and pick up his toys, crayons, coloring pages etc... between each activity. He doesn't get to do anything for 10 minutes and say he's done.

Get him on the computer .. www.starfall.com, www.morestarfall.com, and even look into getting him a subscription at www.time4learning. He'll know how to read to himself by the end of summer and he'll be able to enjoy his reading time more.

MOONWALK... Try and find a used moonwalk or buy one through a payment plan. For about 400-500 bucks you can have a huge moonwalk that he can bounce in. 5 year old boys need a LOT of physical exercise. The tunnels at McDonald's and Burger King are great too. Frisbie in the park, crochet in the park, walks.. all are great and take some time.

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

That's hard. Some kids just love TV. We have a one hour screen time total for the day. Maybe you should just let your son have one 30 minute chunk of time early in the day and one before the bedtime routine. That way he expects less TV. Another thing you could try for a week is have a "TV Free" week where no one watches anything. It might be a habit he has gotten into and this will help him to remember how to play in other ways. Maybe he is a child who needs a schedule? You could say at 12:30 is lunch. Then from 1 to 2 is quiet time in your room (books, puzzles, legos, etc. allowed). Then from 2-3 is play sports in the backyard time (you play too - play catch with him or throw a ball for him to hit with a bat or frisbee or whatever). Then 3:00 is snacktime. Then 3:30 - 4:30 is arts and crafts time (set out a specific activity). Stuff like that. I don't know what to tell you but I might try something like this. We have some nice teenagers on our street who like to babysit. You could get someone to come over for an hour a day some afternoons to play with your son if this would be affordable. You could also schedule an afternoon playdate with one of his buddies once or twice a week. Personally I would try to get him out of this habit right away! It's hard though bc it keeps him busy and entertained for a little bit and then you get some peace. Good luck!! :)

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Perhaps no TV would be an option. Cover the TV and say there is no TV. Perhaps then he will eventually learn to not ask. You could have TV in the evening but until then it's no TV said calmly and consistently. Never give in.

Or perhaps you schedule specific times for TV. Or let him use up all of his TV time and then say no TV. Make the option standard and non-negotiable. He may need it scheduled for him so that he knows specifically when he can watch.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I feel your pain. Bravo to you for having a schedule and keeping it! My kids 8 and 5 love tv too and usually I let them watch A LOT b/c it gives me quiet time. So bad, I know. The last 3 days I made a rule of no tv for 3 days b/c they misbehaved....the last 2 days they were loud, under my feet, arguing, annoying, etc. I said to my husband, "see, this is why I let them watch tv!!!" ugh I would say that everytime you ask to watch tv, you lose 5 mins...try something drastic.. ha ha Make a chart maybe to keep track of how many times he asks....I would sit him down, look him in the eye, and tell him that if he continues to beg for tv, you will get rid of it. Make him color, play with playdough, draw in a journal, dance to music, do puzzles, etc. You are doing a great job, much better than I am. Good luck

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

We watch tv alot over here so I don't have any advice there but just stick to your guns. You make the rules. He wants to whine and complain that tv time can always be shorter!

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

If you say no that should be the end of it. If he has a tantrum about it put him in time out and explain why he's there. Give in and he'll be the one in control. He's pushing your buttons.
There is no entertainment in time out. He can spend the whole summer there if he continues. That's what I would let him know.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

HAHAHA! And i wish I could find child care that WASN'T from 8 am to 6 pm! I have yet to find any in Hawaii!

I have a blog in my profile that has a few fun crafts kids can do if your child is so inclined.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

It's all about stiking a balance ... during the summer there are no adult directed activities the same as there is in school. Have you considered a hand held computer game of some sort? My son LOVES the Go, Deigo, Go games on his DSI, it's better than just watching the show because in the show if you do not answer the "puzzle" solves itself, but in the games the kiddo has to do it. There are other games like this on a hand held - maybe it could be something like TV - outside or inside activity - handheld - outside/inside activity - TV so on during the day.

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