I breastfeed my 5 month old son. Up until about a month ago, nursing was going fine. Now, he only nurses from 3-5 minutes total per feeding during the day. I've been talking to my doctor about it and getting him weighed, and he's gaining weight, so she's not worried. However, he does nurse and do full feedings throughout the middle of the night. During the day he can go every 3.5-4.5 hours without eating, and then when I do feed him, he does a super fast feed, arches his back, cries, and refuses to eat any more. At night, he does this behavior too, but he will nurse for about 10-15 minutes. At night though, he can only go every 1.5-3 hours without eating. I know all babies are different and that he might not be able to sleep through the night for awhile, but I'd love for him to at least drop one feeding (his longest night stretch has been 4 hours, but that hasn't happened in weeks - it's usually about 2.5 hours). He usually eats at 7 pm, 10 pm, 1 am, and then it varies after that, sometimes every 3 hours and sometimes only 1.5 hours.
Are there suggestions for getting him to eat more during the day so that he doesn't have to eat at night? My lactation consultant said that we might have to start trying to soothe him back to sleep instead of feeding him in the middle of the night to get him to sleep through ... that sounds like hell to me ... does anyone have experience with that? If so, how did you know your baby was ready for that?
A few things we've tried: he's been on solids for about a month and LOVES them - but it hasn't made one bit of difference with his night wakings. We've tried giving him a bottle of formula around the 10 pm or 12 am feeding, and it hasn't made a difference. We've also tried mixing formula with breast milk, and that also didn't make a difference. We try to get him to eat more at night so that he'll hopefully sleep longer, but he just falls asleep and is impossible to wake up.
I know getting little sleep all comes with the territory of motherhood, and I'm okay with that, but if there is any way we could get a little more sleep, I know we'd all benefit from it!
It almost sounds like he has his days and nights backwards, although that usually happens with newborns. I guess it's possible for older babies as well. I would consider trying what the lactation consultant said. If he's getting most of his caloric needs met at night, he won't eat much in the day. So if you can manage to go for longer stretches at night, it may help with both the feeding and sleeping issues. Good luck!
if your baby is happy after the snack, he may just be more interested in playing during the day than eating, which is a stage kids can repeat for years. but if he is still cranky if you put him down after the snack, something in his body could be interfering with the feeding. back arching is a symptom of gas. give mylicon a try. when my baby is arching her back after a couple minutes of breastfeeding, mylicon calms her belly, helping her to eat and sleep better. if mylicon doesn't help, i would talk to the pediatrician about acid reflux.
I'm sorry if I am repeating some other suggestions, but I haven't had time to read through everyone else's. First, I would make sure that you are feeding regularly during the day, evening waking him up if necessary. I personally would start with every 3 hours (average 2.5-3.5 hours, it doesn't have to be to the minute). Then, at night, make sure that you have a bedtime routine at a particular time, so that he knows it is bedtime. We read a particular book with the lights low, put him in a sleepsack (he doesn't use it during naps), and have a nighttime blanket. For the night wake ups, this could totally be habit now. I would start with letting him cry for a little bit to make sure that he is actually hungry. If he continues, then go in and feed him, but make sure that you keep track of how often he eats to see if there is a pattern.
As far as the letdown, if this is an issue (I just saw a mention of it below), try sitting him up to feed, or allowing your overspray into a towel before having him eat.
You have some good suggestions here, so I'll just add one thing. Keep him on a 2.5-3.5 hour schedule during the day. Wake him to eat if he's on the high end of the schedule. It is not practical to expect him to sleep a long stretch at night if he's going 4.5 hours during the day between feeds.
B.,
It does sound like when he's waking at night he's nursing to fall back to sleep. The only way to break that habit is to soothe him instead of feed him. He's using food to be comforted to sleep.
Rock him, use a pacifier if he has to suck on something. Swaddle him and hold him close. It is hard when you yourself are exhausted, but you may start enjoyiing those times with him. It's nice, quiet, dark and just you and him. Also - don't turn on the light. If you have to -make it very dim so you don't wake him up all the way.
Good luck!
C.
Have you looked into Acid Reflux? My son had the "silent" version which means he never spit up but still had it. I tell you that since A.R. babies usually spit up a lot. Look online or talk to your doctor.
Hi B.,
Are you sure he is not having reflux/heartburn. Both my babies had silent reflux/heartburn. One would insist on feeding all night (washes the acid down). He is probably happier during the day with small feedings.
I would eliminate caffiene, chocolate, citrus, tomatoes, and diary from my diet for two weeks (takes 2 weeks to get that stuff out). And see how he responds, meanwhile I would lesson his feedings by one minute per feeding each night until you only feed him for 5 min max. During the day I would feed him in a calm, low light environment and I would feed him for 3 - 5 min every 2 hours (you are trying to encourage eating during the day not at night). Also he may be teething....
R. If you want to talk email me back and i'll send you my phone number. Oh and do not feed him peaches or plums they are very acidic (just in case).
My baby was doing the same thing. He's now 6 months and sleeping through the night! I read "Babywise". It helps you know how to feed them during the day so they sleep at night. Worth the read! I read it while nursing him in the middle of the night. =) The main idea is to feed him, have an awake/playtime and then put him to bed so he can learn to fall asleep on his own without sleep aids (nursing, rocking etc.). Also to wake him up to eat about every 3 hours during the day making sure he's getting a good feeding. I also had to let my baby cry at night for a couple of nights to ween him off the first feeding and then the same for the second. GL
Have you talked to your doctor about the possibility of reflux? Often babies arch their back when they are having reflux pain. And they become snackers rather than meal eaters, because they have less reflux with smaller feedings. My baby ate often at night as well until he started taking baby Zantac. Because he was gaining weight it didn't occur to our doctor, I had to request that we try it because he was uncomfortabe and not getting good sleep. I think the reflux bothered him at night because he was on his back.
B., my son was 5 months old when he started the same thing he was very active and very independent. I finally had to just nurse him first thing in the morning and then right before bed. He waould have a bottle inbetween on his own time and he did much better with that. At night before his final feeding I would give him applesauce and that seemed to be what he needed. Offer plenty of snacks throughout the day in between meals also. It seemed like he didn't feel so tied down with the bottle and by 7 months he gave up the bottle all together. Good luck I hope u find what works for you!! Although you are exhausted cherish every minute because they grow up to fast.
Contrary to popular belief, all kids don't just start sleeping through the night when they stop needing the nutrition around the clock. Kids can get in patterns where they are just used to a certain schedule and until you take steps to change the habit, they will continue down the same road. It sounds to me like you need to do some things to reverse the pattern. Some suggestions would be to start feeding him more often during the day - for as long as he will nurse. Then pick a feeding during the night and start weaning him off of it. So if you're feeding him for 10 minutes on that feeding, reduce it by 1 minute each night. He will gradually replace the calories at other feedings. If you do it gradually, you will start to reverse the trend of him eating more during the night. I would HIGHLY recommend the book 'How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems' by Ferber. He is a sleep scientist and gives clear, straightforward advise about getting your kids to sleep through the night starting at about 5-6 months of age. Now would be the perfect time to read it. I read it with my first & his methods were a lifesaver for me. After 3 kids, I swear by it. I discovered this book when my daughter was about 5 months and by 7 months, she was sleeping through the night (7pm to 7am) and to this day (she's 5) rarely wakes at night. Once I understood a little more about sleep training, I started applying the principles early with my 2 sons and they were sleeping through by about 4-5 months - and I nursed all three of them. It is seriously worth your time. Good luck!
I wonder if you can get him to eat every 3 hours during the day and see if that helps. That would give him more calories during the day. Do try to let him go back to sleep at night without eating and see if it works. You mention that he's arching his back and crying. To me, that sounds like reflux. Babies abilities change a lot around 4-6 months in regards to reflux. Our middle son was that age before we really started to see signs of it because he started out growing some reflexes which allowed him to demonstrate more. If he can get on meds and eat more comfortably during the day, that would also increase his calorie intact during the day. As much as I hate meds, reflux meds have done wonders for 2 of our kids growth and eating habits and I often wonder if our first would have been better off if the meds now available had been available for him. It's worth asking. You're right that your little guy should be sleeping a little more at night. :) Keep trying! It'll happen.
I noticed that nobody mentioned that you might have overactive letdown. http://www.llli.org/FAQ/oversupply.html (talks about oversupply and overactive letdown) I do, and it's a hard thing to find info about! My DS1 used to nurse one side only, 4 minutes, every 4 hours. And he was growing just fine. DS2 (13 months) nurses both sides, probably 3-4 minutes each and I don't really keep track of how often... we demand feed.
Now, if your milk is coming out that fast, it could be that he gets tummy upset during the night that he doesn't get during the day since he'd be upright more often after daytime feeds. I'd look at maybe propping him up at night or making sure you get a good burp before laying him down. My little guy does get refluxy at night sometimes (the milk comes out so fast sometimes that he kind of has to gulp it) so I usually prop him up just a bit.
I would guess that he might be waking because his tummy hurts, but now you've conditioned him to eat every time he wakes. (I did that with DS1.) You probably will have to un-train him from that. I used "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and Joanne Kenen. We also had my DH get up with DS1 for a few nights. When he wasn't really hungry he settled pretty quickly since he knew Daddy wasn't going to be producing any milk... and when he cried or fussed for a little while, I'd nurse him. It only took about 3 nights to reduce the number of night wakings. Babies habituate to new sleep habits pretty quickly.
There are other options, of course. I co-sleep with my DS2 so I don't have to really wake up to feed him. He tends toward the thin side, so it's not hurting anything right now to have him eating 'round the clock... and it's much less exhausting for the rest of us!
Best of luck in whatever solutions you choose for your family. :)
You may have already gotten a lot of advice, but I just thought I'd mention it really isn't that bad, or at least it wasn't for my 2 to soothe them back to sleep. It was worth it in the end, to just get a little more sleep. We of course wouldn't ignore them, but we wouldn't feed them either, and they eventually learned they weren't going to get food at that time and just slept right on through. We got them down to just one feeding between 4-6 usually. We'd give them a pacifier and tell them we loved them and yea it maybe took a couple of times, but really its worth it. If you don't want to use a pacifier, try rubbing their back. It may even be better if your husband does it, that's what usually worked better for me, because they knew what I was. But really in the end it just depends on what you want the outcome to be. If it isn't something you feel you can do, then you might have to just endure for awhile, unless someone else has some advice that works for you. Anyways, good-luck
your baby needs to learn how to go to sleep without nursing him back down... during the day, try putting him down sleepy, but still awake... the book "secrets of the baby whisperer" is great at decribing the signs to look for. I also liked "healthy sleep habits, happy child"... for sleep training tips and ideas (not necessarily cry it out, but that is included).
I know you don't want to spend extra time soothing him at night instead of it being easier to just nurse him back down, but look at it as a short term investment in better sleep for the whole family... the hard work now will pay off for years to come.
good luck... and hang in there
