5 Year Old Behavior Problems

Hi J.,

I would think that you'd do well to take him to a place that addresses his behavioral issues at least, even if he doesn't have other ones, because that will spiral down for him creating other social problems as well unless that's addressed quickly.

Have you tried Bal Swan in Broomfield? It's a school for kids with special needs and "typical" kids. So it's about 50/50 and if for some reason they find he doesn't have problems, then he's still in the right school because many parents with "typical" children take them there.

Best of luck,

S.

HELLO MY DAUGHTER WAS 2 BEFORE I PUT HER IN DAYCARE. SHE'S SHY AND STILL IS MY SON ON THE OTHER HAND WAS 6 MONTHS AND HE'S SO LOUD AND OUT SPOKEN. HAVE YOU TRIED SPENDING A DAY WITH HIM AT PRESCHOOL I HAD TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY DAUGHTER WE DID 3 DAYS A COUPLE OF HOURS EACH DAY SHE DID LET ME LEAVE BUT SHE IS STILL VERY SHY AND DOENT TALK MUCH BUT IT WORKED SO TRY GOING THERE WITH HIM
C.

All I can say is please find the time to spend the quality time with him that he needs that you don't seem to have right now. He did not ask to come into this world and we are responsible for our childrens' well-being. That is pretty serioius that he has been thrown out of schools and he's only four. It sounds behavioral. And if you don't spend the time now, and he grows up into a troubled adolescent, teen and adult, you'll wish you had made the time.

As an elementary teacher, I know that many times kids are much different at home than they are at school, though usually most are on their best behavior while in the classroom. Trust the school and your teachers, they know their field and would suggest testing only if needed and only to do right by your child. If nothing comes up on the tests it might put your mind at ease, and if something does come up you and the school can start working together immediately to do what's best for your child. Hope this helps, and good luck to both you and your boy! :)

I'm going to suggest something totally different...you might want to think about putting him in a Karate class. You actually make me feel better because I thought my son must be the worst kid at school...his is in Kindergarten but just turned 5 a week before school started. He is not the best at home either, though. He had not been kicked out of any schools but he has had a real problem with respecting his elders and not listening. We have only just begun but I think Karate is going to bring him the respect and focus he needs.

Hi J....
You are well within your rights to question this!!! I'm not sure who is telling you your son needs to be in a "special school", but RARELY do children need to attend one. Most schools have special education programs available for students with disabilites. If your son's disabilites are mild to moderate, most likely he will remain in the regular classroom for most of the day and then receive the approprite amount of extra tutoring, therapy, etc... on the side during regular school hours. Special school are generally reserved for students who have severe mental or physcical disabilites.

I would recommend you fight to get your son into a regular school, perhaps with some special education (these days referred to as "exceptional education") as a resource. One thing you could do for him that doesn't take much time is read a short book to him every night before bed. That is invaluable to any child and takes very little time. Hope this helps!

Definitely have him tested. Speech delays are a pretty good sign that something might be amiss. It seems like with developmental delays, the faster they can catch it, the less likely it is to still be a problem when they're older. If nothing else at least you'll be able to rule it out.

J., I am not sure where you reside but depending on the public school district that you live in~you may want to call them and have him evaluated for a speech disorder/developmental evaluation. Because he is over the age of 3, they have to evaluate him and it may be very helpful as far as daycare,speech tx,etc. They will provide free services that will get him ready for kindergarten. If he was under the age of 3, then you could call AZEIP (for here in AZ) and they would assess him, in home. Good luck!! H.

Are you in Denver? If so, contact Child Find (I don't know the number, but maybe you can look it up online or ask at your local elementary school). They will test him and give him an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). Actually, it doesn't matter where in the country you are, the IEP is a national thing. My son had this done when he was 4 and got funding to go to a really great pre-school where he got Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Special Ed, all before he even reached kindergarten. The IEP then will tell the school system what support he needs in the classroom or if he qualifies for any special program. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 and PDD-NOS (high-functioning autism) at 6. He's been in a special program at his elementary school where he's mainstreamed in a classroom with other "normal" kids but one of his teachers is a speech therapist. He's improved so much, they're kicking him out of the program and sending him back to our local school next year. It's hard at first to be told your kid has a problem, but just take it day by day. My son's in 3rd grade now and I can finally say we're in a good place. When they're young, it's really tough because they don't understand what's going on and sometimes you don't either. You're doing the right thing by getting him tested (at least to rule out anything). Don't worry or be concerned about what other people think, just do what's best for your child. If that means a special school, so be it. If it means a special program within a regular school, so be it. There are also a lot of books out there about kids' issues. One that really helped me understand my son is called "Quirky Kids". I don't remember who wrote it, but it really changed my perspective on him and helped me deal with his point of view much more. Anyway, the next couple of years might be tough, but it gets better. Good luck!!

I have a 5 year old son that is developmentally delayed and is in a pre-school program at the public school. (IEP done)
I do find that my son will have behaviorial problems when people do not realize he is more like a 3 1/2 to 4 year old in some aspects(mechanically he blows me away!)
When I explain this to the people around me, it seems to alter how they interact, causing less stress, and thus he tends to behave better. As for things like when someone would say,"Go pick up your mess. He would be lost. But if one said pick up the food on the floor and put in trash, he will more likely get it.
I am not saying your son does not have behaviorial problems or not, just that when unrealistic expectations are put on a child, and they cannot respond at expected level, this can result as lack of age appropriate response and can create misunderstandings and frustration. Especially when patience is not used and when child is compared to others.