5 Year Old - Depressed?

I agree that something is not right. Some special time is needed it could be a problem with a friend at school or feeling like she is not keeping up find some quiet time and just talk five year old should not be withdrawn if you can not find out what is wrong you may need some professional assistance

You said she's been this way for about a week... so to me, this is sort of a 'sudden' change in demeanor.

So next, I would try and find out if anything happened to her... has she had any 'problems' at school? With friends? With a baby sitter? With any relatives or neighbors? Any possible 'traumas' or someone 'victimizing' her, or perhaps her getting scolded at school, or maybe someone making fun of her at school, or could she be bullied at school or ostracized, or picked on etc. Or maybe a friend at school is no longer her friend, or maybe there are 'cliques' at school etc.

The thing is, you NEED to talk with her... without judgment, but to see what is going on in her life. She is so young, to be feeling this way... it must be something really hard for her... or that she is having a hard time coping with, on her own.

Does she see her Dad? or is he not in the picture? Is he a 'nice' and proper Dad? Did this happen after seeing him, perhaps? What has her Dad told you? Anything?

Think... try to backtrack, and see what has happened in the past week...where has your daughter gone, what has she done? Who has she hung out with? Any extra-curricular activities she participates in?

I think, your girl needs a shoulder to lean on... not necessarily just 'having more fun' with you... but just having someone on her side... WITH her who understands or is willing to listen...

Please let us know what is bothering your daughter, if you find out. The poor girl... she is just so young, to be acting 'depressed.'
If anything, ask your Pediatrician, or take her in for a checkup.... and ask her Teacher about any changes in her behavior as well....
I would really try and investigate this and see what may have caused it or what may have triggered it...

ASK her Teacher, for any clues. See, if anything happened at school.

All the best and take care,
Susan

Hi S., I wouldn't think it is normal for a 5 years old to be depressed, Is she in kindergarten? if so I would find out if maybe something is going on at school that you need to know about, maybe she had a fight with a friend, it could be any number of things, I would just ask her some direct questions, remind how much you love her, and be patient, and just let her know you are there for her if she needs to tell you something. J. L.

Hi S.,

It is absolutely not normal for a 5 year old to be depressed. Changes in our childrens behaviour are signs that I believe should never be ignored. Especially upset, depressed, emotional, irritable... If she will not talk to you and you are not sure what's going on, I would urge you to find a professional that you are comfortable with for her to talk to. I have an 11 year old boy who's behaviour significantly changed around the same age... I refused to believe that is was something very serious and to this day.. last night actually.. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty for not properly addressing the situation...

Has something changed in your life/routine? Have you met someone new she has been around... maybe feeling she is not getting all of the attention? Just a thought... have you asked her what is wrong or ask her how she is feeling and why? I have a 3 year old, so just trying to help figure out a few things that might be causing this. Has she started a new school, or activity? Have you started anything new that keeps you away from her more? Has she had problems at school with making friends or girls picking on her? I would even ask her Teacher if she has seen anything different that would cause this behavior.

So sorry to hear about her feeling this way... Good luck!

Hi S.,

You didn't mention if she has been through any big changes in her life (divorce, move, etc), but if you feel like you are unable to get her to open up and talk with you, you may consider a child play therapist.

My daughter saw a child play therapist following my divorce. It was really helpful. Through playing and doing some art work, the therapist was then able to meet with me and give me more insight into what she was dealing with and how to help her.

Best wishes

Some questions I would ask yourself:
-Is she getting enough sleep? A 5 year old should get around 10-11 hours of sleep a day. Check out this post of mine on sleep: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html. I would also think about making sure she is eating "right" and playing outside.

-Is she aware of any stress you may have? I would be careful about what you share or what she hears or what she sees... they are SO receptive!!

-Have you talked to her teachers? They see her a lot during the week, so I would talk to them about the concern. They may have some insight or start paying attention...

-She is a girl and emotional... my daughter can be very emotional and ultra-sensitive (she is 5) daily...

-I would just work at being consistent in everything, so there are few surprises- I think kids strive on consistency more than we know. Even with the fun activity... maybe say Saturday or whatever day is fun activity day- I think sometimes random surprises may sound nice to us but they don't work as well for our kids.

-If things persist or worsen, I would ask at the school to speak to the child psychologist.

Hi S., Maybe this is an obvious question. However, has something out of the ordinary happened lately that would make her extra sensitive? Could she be worried about something (like starting school or something)? Maybe she's coming down with a virus or something.

I hate to even suggest this, but I've heard it too many times before. Is there any way that there has been any i************ t******* or anything worse going on? I think a psychologist might really help.

Hey Momma, you have to talk to your little girl. She is giving you signs left and right that there's trouble, to the point where she's asking to go to bed early. When my daughter has behavior changes (she's 9 now), I have always sat her down and said, "I know that something is going on with you. What's happening baby girl, talk to me". Then I sit and wait. Usually she has a blow out, crying and talking fast like she was waiting for me to push her a bit so she could tell me what was bothering her. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, and I just hug her and rock her and say again, talk to me. As a single momma, you have to be everything to your child, and so they might be confused as to how you would respond to their trouble. I always try to mix a tiny bit of stern with compassion so she knows that she is important and I need to know what is going on. Luckily it has always been something small, but if it isn't you need to know right now. Good luck Momma

Maybe do a special shopping trip with her or go to tea and sing songs in the car on the way there. Sit down and ask her questions, like, "Hey, how's things going?" "How is school?" "Who is your best friend there?" "Is there someone who treats you really special?" "Is there someone who is mean to you?" Etc....

My 5 year old son suddenly started being more introverted and stopped changing in front of us or anyone. I asked him why? Did something happen at school? He said no. He really wouldn't answer me. It was about 3 months later, when I FINALLY asked him a straightforward question..."Did someone laugh at you in the bathroom?" He replied, "Yeah, Jorge." I asked him why and he told me that it was because their penises looked different. I laughed and told him, "Jorge was wrong...they both look exactly the same, it's just that yours has more skin over it to protect it and his parents decided to cut that extra skin off. If you pull that skin back, it's exactly the same." he looked surprised and since that moment, he's had NO problems being naked, let alone changing in front of us. Sometimes it's just those yes or no questions that they can't get out of AND the right time.

Good luck.

it sounds like maybe she needs someone to talk to. maybe you guys should do a special girls night, go see a movie or do your hair and nails at home together and talk like girls. maybe something has happened with one of her friends or she needs some reassurance about something. or maybe she needs to just talk. and of course the best person to do that with is and should be her mother!

i hope she feels better soon! please let us know how it goes.

It's great that you are so sensitive to your childs feelings. Have you asked her what's going on? You might be suprised at what you hear. If you're truly concerned I'd suggest you ask your doctor for a referral to a good therapist. I noticed you're in BH. If money is an issue try the Maple Center in BH. Good luck.

All of the advice you have gotten so far has been right on re: finding out what has changed in her life recently, whether something happened to upset her, etc., but I would also want to rule out any medical issues. Take her to the doctor for a thorough workup. It it most likely an emotional issue, but you want to be sure there is nothing physical going on, particularly if she isn't able to offer an explanation that makes sense to you (being bullied,teased, etc.)Do talk to her teachers also to see if there are changes in her behavior there, too.

No.....you need to take her somewhere to talk to her alone. Has she been anywhere without you where someone could have hurt her. I don't want to sound over-reactive but I would be wprried that something bad happened to her. Does she feel like she can tell you anything? Find out whats wrong.

Hi S.,

Maybe what your daughter needs isn't more fun, but some quiet Mommy time, cuddling and being quiet. Then maybe she will feel comfortable enough to open up. Around 5 is also a time when they realize mortality. This could be the issue too. Sometimes when we are quiet and just listen, kids give us the clues we need to figure out what is going on.

Good luck!

M.

sometimes children act differently just before getting sick. boost her immune system with lots of fresh fruit and veggies and don't give any junk food.
Good Luck
V.

Whatever you do please DO NOT MEDICATE HER!!! I have sooo much information on the side effects of psychiatric medication and you don't want to do that. I would also suggest you find out what happened in school or when you weren't there. Try to get her outside so she can get out of her head a little. It always helps to put your attention on other things.