5 Year Old Girl Wants Short Hair-dad Says "No"

I hate to bring this up, but in this day and age it may be a real factor in the hair-cut decision. Many of the responses have asked "Why does the Dad want the hair long?" It could be a control issue, or it could be that he has inappropriate feelings for her. Does he always want her in dresses? Sad to say, some men have inappropriate feelings for little girls and want them to be long-haired and beautiful for Daddy. Please don't feel insulted, I'm not saying he is feeling these feelings, but it is an avenue to explore.
Mama P

Hair is just hair. Let her cut it-- it'll grow back =) At 5 yrs old she knows what she wants. As long as she's not wanting a green mohaek or something-- lol. Tell dad to let her express herself.

I would try to compromise, have hiem got with her to get her next haircut and cut it a little shorter than normal, then the nextt iem if he doesn't object, go a little shorter still, at some point he will let it go, if that doens't work, you could always let her stick gum in her hair and then cut it out.

I would present all of those pros (and cons too, be fair) of your daughter having a short hair style. I would remind your ex that by holding onto a "little girls need to have long hair" ideal, he's setting a dangerous presendence for your daughter of gender stereotypes. Having short hair does not make her any less beautiful or any less of a girl. Also, children often feel out of control. There are so many aspects of life that are decided for them. In my opinion, your ex should let your daughter have control over her hairstyle. I also agree with everyone who has said to let your ex be a part of the decision and to compromise. Let your daughter pick out hairstyles she likes, show them to her father, and try to pick one that everyone can agree to. If not, as it has been said, cut it off and it'll grow back sometime. It almost sounds like the father just wants something to whine about and in that case he needs to grow up --your daughter seems to be mature enough.

Since the long hair is a struggle for you, maybe you should have your husband in charge of this detail. He could see that long hair is a pain and be happy to make things easier with short hair.

You could find pictures of little girls with short hair and show them to your husband and point out that these girls are still girly.

Have your daughter explain to him why she wants her hair short. You can help her think of reasons ahead of time. He might find it hard to say no, if she makes a good case for herself.

We are having the exact issue here! My daughter just turned 5 and wants short hair, but my husband says "no."
When she was about 3, her hair was past the middle of her back and he kept saying we couldn't cut it. I finally just took her and got it cut about shoulder length without telling him. She loved it, but kept saying "My dad is gonna be so mad." He wasn't happy, but didn't show her that he was mad.
Since then I have let her hair grow again, but she has been asking to have it short like mine a lot again lately. She says it is hot and in her face all the time. I told him I wouldn't get it cut as short as mine, but somewhere in between. He still says no too.
I think I'll have him read these responses and see if that makes him see that he is being selfish. I don't want to do it again without his consent, but it is rediculous that he won't let her make the decision (within reason).
I really wouln't have it cut super short, cause I've seen little girls who get mistaken for boys and that would be tough too. A compromise would make sense if we could get the dads to give a little!
Good luck!

My daughter is one so I haven't gotten to this yet but when I was young my parents allowed me to make choices such as this once I displayed an understanding of consequences. For me this was around four. I got my ears pierced and all was well. The same went for my older sister who actually decided to cut her hair short and get her ears pierced and again, all was well. However, my neighbor and best friend was not allowed to make decisions for herself until she was 16 and to this day she remembers that such a restriction was put on her and she resents it (very much) to this day and she is now 24. She should get over it but she hasn't. Just something for dad to think about. Furthermore, it is her hair, she obviously understands what cutting her hair means and it does grow back if she hates having short hair. I think dad needs to become enlightened and stop thinking about what he wants and more of what his little girl wants. It isn't like short hair is permanent.

The question is not when is she old enough to say no to daddy, but will you teach her to respect his wishes as her father? If he desires this, he has a right as father and husband, to demand it. You have a responsibility to teach your daughter to submit to his authority while she is under his and your care. When she takes on responsibility for her own life (lives away from you) she can make all those decisions. Personally, I think your husband should (and may) eventually relinquish this area in favor of more important things, but in the meantime, you are doing your daughter a disservice is you encourage her to disagree with him, and you are setting her up to quarrel with her future husband if she doesn't learn to let go of small things (and this is one of them) while she is young. Later, there will be BIG things in her life that are worth fighting for, but she will be better able to discern what they are if she has learned to take instructions from those over her (in this case her parents right now). Too many kids are growing up thinking they should make all the decisions for themselves, without the life experience and humility to do it well. I'd rather have a daughter with hair down her back, who loves and respects her husband (and by extension, authority in general) than a daughter who follows her own inexperience and limited judgement too soon in life. Disaster strikes when rebellion is the theme of the day.

SAHM of seven (three girls, four boys) I didn't learn to respect my dad or authority until I was grown - and it was a painful lesson to learn. Thank God that my husband is man of immense patience and love for me - otherwise I would be single and very, very unhappy!

When I was growing up, my mother was the one who insisted that I keep my hair long (to my waist). And as I grew up, I was more and more responsible for taking care of it even though she insisted that it stay long. And through much of this time, short hair was the fashion and NO ONE I knew had hair as long as mine. I often got compliments from adults, but this was little comfort when everyone my age had short hair. I was finally a teenager when I cut my hair in the girl's bathroom at school. She freaked out even though I only cut it to the middle of my back (I wasn't really the rebellious type). I left it about that length until I was about 19. Her feeling was that she had always had long hair and really regretted it when she cut it. Why your little girl's father is holding so strongly to her hair is beyond me. If you have to go so far as to hide scissors and because she's already tried to cut it off twice, I think that you should go ahead and cut it because eventually she will be successful. I agree with others that you can go with a shorter cut without being as short as yours may be. Lots of shorter looks are still feminine. My stepdaughter pretty much has always chosen the length of her hair. Her mom has really short hair and mine is just past my shoulders and often longer. When she was younger she wanted it to be long like mine (it was down the middle of my back again) because I had "princess hair". She still keeps it long because it's pretty curly and she likes it that way and her mom is willing to put it up all the time. Let her cut it. Hair grows back. She may not even really like it (when I cut mine in a bob-twice- I've regretted it each time). The more he says no, the more she'll want it short.

As soon as my daughter started requesting her hair a certain way is when I started letting her decide. I'd love for her to have short hair since it is easier to take care of, but she loves her long hair (almost to her wasit).
My daughter is 6.

Yes, she's old enough to decide now about her hair - but the big issues is the disagreement between the parents. Maybe the mommies could help the daughter explain to dad that getting to pick her own hair style and clothes (within reason, of course) makes her feel good (strong, smart, pretty, etc.). Then the mommies could coach dad on letting daughter get a pretty short haircut as a birthday gift. Maybe he could take her for a haircut as a special daddy/daughter celebration on her birthday? Or going for haircuts could be their regular one-on-one time to be followed with a trip to the park or a some other special event every six weeks or so?

Hello J.,

I read your post and must say I just went through that with my 6 year old daughter within the last month. My husband has always thought that girls should have long hair. When my husband met me my hair was above shoulder length and never said anything. I had my hair short when I was little and as I got older I would go short then grow it out and the short again because I would want the change. My daughter alked about cutting her hair like Dora's not that she liked Dora but wanted us to understand the length she wanted. This started when she was 5 and I started telling my husband that there will be a time when she will cut her hair and to remember it grows back. He still wasn't crazy about it but it is up to her since when it is long she needs help brushing it and keeping it out of her face. Sorry this is longer explaination than I thought. About a month ago we went up north and got my son and daughters hair cut. He went out fishing but my daughter and I told him how short we were going and he didn't look happy. I told him it is up to her and it will grow back. When she sat in the chair I had the lady cut a few inches and talked to my daughter to let her know that she could go shorter and she was so excited. She looks so cute and see looks like a girl still. He had to warm up but our daughter talked about it all the time on how excited she was to pick out her hairdo. She is wanting to grow it out and try it again. I guess I felt that there were bigger battles as she get older that this is something she excited to be a part of now. My husband hasn't complained and like that she is happy with it. She has also been brushing and putting her hair in pig tails on her own.

Good luck!
J. L.

My son wanted a mohawk at 5- so I let him have one.My ex hated it! It's only hair- and it will grow back. If it will make your life easier- then do it. Most men like long hair on women/girls- but that's their problem :)

I'm not really sure what the big deal is. A haircut seems rather harmless...much more so than her getting her hands on scissors at school or something and cutting it herself and possibly getting hurt. I might go to one of those salons that are just for kids where your daughter could look at pictures of haircuts....I'm sure she can find one that keeps her looking like a litte girl to keep dad happy (what's his deal, anyway?)

I'd say Dad has been outvoted.

You have gotten lots of responses but I thought I would throw my two cents in. As a baby I didn't have very much hair and it took a very long time to grow, and I was often mistaken for a boy. Because of this, my father did not want my hair cut and it was long (much too long) for many years. In fact, I look at pictures of myself with that stringy hair and think "Why didn't they just cut my hair off?" I am now going through the same thing with my four year old daughter. She has never expressed any opinion in particular for a hairstyle however I know once it gets past a certain length it starts to look the same stringy way mine did. That's why we keep it about chin length with bangs. She still has enough hair to do ponys but it's also short enough to be out of her face if she doesn't want anything in it. As I got older I learned to work with what I have and have told my daughter the same, even at this young age. I know that my hair will never be longer than chin length again and the fantasy that my husband has of the long locks is just that, a fantasy. When my husband would bring up the long hair thing I would just ask him "do you want nice looking short hair? or bad looking long hair?" You might want to ask your daughter's father the same thing.

I went through this with my daughter and her dad, my ex. I felt that it was her hair and she should decide. My son, who is younger than her decides to have like a military type cut. She should be able to decide as well.

I took my daughter and got her hair cut. She loved it. But she said "Dad will hate it and say I am not pretty". I then called him and warned him that she cut her hair. He was not happy, but I told him how worried she was and that he just better LIKE it!!!!!

She is 10 now and still decides on her hair cut. Her dad will never think that girls should have long hair, but thats too bad.

Let your daughter cut her hair. It will grow back and maybe she will decide she likes it long. Maybe not, In the end it should be her decision. Good Luck

Hello J.,
My twin girls were 5 when I let them choose their hair cuts with a little guidance from me. I ask them do you want bangs or let it grow one length. I feel they were going in Kindergarten they have a choice in how they look. I would caution about going from long to real short hair can be a shock. What I did with my older daughter was have her go from mid back to shoulders to get use to it. She just got it cut for school and now she is between ear and shoulders.(and it looks great) Hope this helps and think about who has to brush the hair on a regular basis (I'm assumming that it is you) and what your daughter wants. Remember if she is starting Kindergarten, they have scissors there if she wants to cut it- just a thought.
Good Luck, L.

It's her hair!! How long is her hair now? Does her Dad ever do her hair?? I don't think children should be able to make all the decisions but they should be listened to and respected. A lot of men have this fantasy about long hair they think it is beautiful and will try to force the issue with their wife or girlfriend and daughters. My hair is baby fine and very straight, it doesn't look good long. I had a boyfriend that wanted me, and tried to force the issue, to wear it long and straight like his friend's wife. She had beautiful full heavy hair that behaved and she could style it. Mine I couldn't do anything with it, I refused to change my hairstyle. I had a good friend in high school who had very curly hair, her dad made her keep it cut short and refused to let her have any styling tools, except a brush and comb. He would tell her you don't need curlers your hair is curly!! STUPID MAN!!
This sounds more like a power and control issue than anything else. Your husband wants to dictate how your little girl wears her hair and it will get worse. How will he react when she wants/needs to have a bra and cute panites in a few years. I worked in the intimate apparel department of a major department store for 3 years and I have two daughters. When girls get to Junior High and suddenly want cute bras and panties, they are doing it to impress the other girls in the locker room, not for any boys to see. But they get made fun of if they wear "granny" panties or bras.
Ultimately it is the little girls decision. Like many other things in her life. As parents we can not choose their path, or talents or appearence. It is our job to raise them to be honest, respectable, loving, hard working, human beings, but we need to let them be who they are.

hi J.,

Definitely allow your daughter to have short hair. As you said, she's allowed to choose her own outfit, and short hair is easier. It is her life. Her dad's opinion matters in the things he values...but would he want someone to tell him how he HAD to have his hair? This is a control issue.

There will likely be times in her life when she wears her hair differently. Who is he to say what she does with her hair! This is actually disturbing.It reminds me of other areas where men want control of women's lives. The days of men owning everything are over. It is truly abusive to insist on what you want when it comes to other people's bodies.

She is getting the message that he loves her only if she looks a certain way. ugh. If he wants to send this message she will move away from him. To develop closeness and trust he can tell her that he would love her even if she were bald.

Another thought is...if it were a ritual for him to help her with her hair each day it would still make sense for her to have it the way she liked it. And then I might understand his mourning her cutting it.

Best wishes,
K.

Going against Dad isn't a good thing to encourage so it is best to change his mind or at least let him know the choice is hers. One thing to use for your point is that it is hair and will grow back if she doesn't like it short. Another is that it is a lot of work to take care of long hair and HE doesn't do it, you, her step mom and she takes care of her hair so unless he is going to start combing it out after washing and fixing it every day, he really doesn't have any right to demand it being long.

Let him know that you are taking her to a beauty shop and letting her choose the hair style she and the hair stylist would believe is best for her hair. Let the pro's help pick it with her. She might opt for a medium length hair and also if it is long enough, she can donate the hair to locks of love.

Good luck.

Dad's opinion matters. If you do it without his blessing, it will create unneeded tension. I would venture that if your kids wanted to do something that YOU didn't want them to do, you would say "no" also. This is not a black-and-white situation, and there is room for discussion and compromise. I know because I just went through this with my 11-year-old. She just got her very first hair cut yesterday. Her hair was very long and was hard for her to take care of on her own. She wanted to cut it, but knew Dad would not approve, but she was smart about it. Several months ago, she started mentioning to him how she was thinking about cutting her hair. He would always make a face, and although he did not forbid it, he made it clear he didn't want her to do it. She just kept mentioning it casually, only saying that she was THINKING about it. Then she made a list of very logical and practical reasons for getting her hair cut (donating to Locks of Love, easier to take care of, shorter shower time, using less shampoo and conditioner, etc). A few weeks ago, she asked her dad if she could talk to him, and she presented her case. He was impressed with the way she had thought it through and told her she had his blessing. He still made it clear he wasn't happy, but he agreed to it. When she came home from her haircut yesterday, he didn't say much. I reminded him later that little girls need to know their daddies think they are beautiful, and he complimented her haircut later. He said he didn't like that it made her look more grown up though. :)

Another alternative is what my sister-in-law did when she was a young girl. She wanted to cut her long hair, but her father didn't want her to. So she asked if she could get a couple of inches cut. He agreed. She waited a couple months and then asked to get a few more inches off. She did that 3-4 times, and within a year, she had her hair at the length she wanted.

This might sound trite, but if she is "his little girl" and he wants her to have long hair then the solution might be to let him deal with it. He should wash it, brush it, style it, etc. I'll bet he caves in 2 days. Long hair is beautiful, but if she wants short hair, then let her have it. If she gets to help pick her clothes then she should have a say in her hair style. I would however leave enough length for a short ponytail, so she has some style options.

I was 12 before my mom finally gave in to me begging to get my hair cut. my dad said there was no way that i could have my hair cut. i always had hair down to my butt.. very thick and curly. i was so happy to get it cut (to the middle of my back)! my neice just got her hair cut and she is 5 also. she was so exceited that she was able to donate her hair to the locks of love. plus now that its at her shoulders she doesn't like it as much and wants to grow it out. i would suggest that you go half way, make her and dad happy. shorter than what it is but not too short as to make dad mad. he does still have a say in what goes on with his daughter. if she was older and dad wasn't a part of her life very much then i would agree that he doesn't get a say, but that's not sounding like the case.

i go threw this with my 12 yr old son, he has a lay down mohawk, its to his jaw line on top and shaved on the bottom and he is dying to dye it green but his dad says no. he only see's his dad maybe for an hour or two a month, but he still has the pull over my son by wanting to grant dad's wishes also. (dad threatens if its green you will not be allowed in my house again) me on the other hand say he doesn't see dad very much to have a say so and its only hair.. it will wash out. plus if we would let him do it he would get it out of his system and let it be normal again (and i wouldn't have to keep hearing about it) or if he wanted it green then so be it, a hat will always cover it.

my point in that is dad's do have a say so and kids to want to please both parents even if it is something the child wants alot. plus you do need to respect both's wishes, you wouldn't want him to do something for her that you were completely against. so i would suggest compromise on the length of her hair... even though its only hair! maybe once her dad see's it looks cute and gets use to it being shorter then next time you can go shorter.

I was on the other side of this situation. I didn't give in to my little girl's begging until she was around 7. I guess I saw it as a part of her childhood being taken away; just another sign that she was growing up!

She ended up getting a shoulder-length do that looks great on her. The bonus was that she donated over 12 inches of those baby blond ringlets to Locks of Love!

I guess it's silly, but some parents are reluctant to let their children grow up. It's not that I thought that she needed long hair to look like a girl or anything, I guess I was just attached to the idea of my "little girl". Having shorter hair certainly did make her look older, but in the end I'm happy if she is. :)

Dad needs to get over it. Get her hair cut that way she wants it. Its hair -- its harmless.

5 years old is plenty old enough to have some input on hair style...little girls look adorable in short hair and especially during the summer it is easy to take care of. My daughter had really long hair and she wanted to get it cut...granted we didnt do it super short, but above her shoulders...made it easy to take care of for summer and now she is learning to brush and wash her own hair. It is nice for me too as i was the one putting in ponies and styling all the time. I can assume the dad doesnt style her hair everyday? So why would he care so much?? The nice thing is that hair grows back so she can make the choice if she wants to keep it short. Maybe have him and her look through books to find a sytle that they both like.

I think you and her step-mom should make a girl's day and go get her hair cut. She's more than old enough to make this decision, and if dad doesn't like it, too bad. Hair grows back. Tell him to get over it.

I would just tell him that if he wants her to have long hair then it is his responsiblility to wash it and brush it every day and get the snarls out etc etc. And he should be the one to put the braids in and the pony tails etc. etc. - See how long he wants to continue doing that! Tell the step mom not to do anything at all with the hair that it is his responsibility and his alone.
Good Luck.

I think she should be able to make this choice now! She's old enough to know - within reason how she would like her hair. Let him start dealing with it. Say that's fine she can keep it long, but your going to learn how to style it (Braids, pony's etc....) and let him do it everyday. He'll get tired of it! Is it long enough that she could donate it to Locks of Love - maybe you could get her information on that and she can approach dad with I want to donate my hair - how can he say no to that! She's doing a positive thing for someone else while getting the hairstyle she wants!

If she wants it cut, meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe not above the ears but a cute little bob thats a little longer on the sides and stacked up in back? It's amazing how much older they suddenly look when they get a fresh cut! And, assuming she's 5 and going into kindergarten you could definately make a big deal about her independence with your ex, suggesting that this is a good thing.

My husband has honestly never cared if our daughter's hair is long or short. And, it actually looks much better cared for when it's a bit shorter!

Good luck!

My two youngest daughters used have waist length hair until I had enough their waist length hair I took my daughter to the barber shop cut to their waist length hair very short like a boy My girls did not want the very short boys haircut but I want their waist length hair cut very short like a boy After very short boys haircut my girls is not allowed have waist length hair ever again I also cut my two older daughters waist length hair very short like a boy .My four daughters will have very short boys hair forever.

I have boys and hair is still not a battle I choose. One likes a buzz cut and I tell him just not so short that his skin shows and he could get sunburnt on his head. The other likes it so long and has such fine hair that it looks ridiculous. The grandparents tell me "You're the parent," cut his hair, but I just figure there are too many bigger battles. Maybe if you tell her dad that she might resent him over this and it may affect their relationship it might sway him. It also sounds like he's being unusually controlling. Is he controlling in other aspects of her life? Is there something else going on that he feels like he needs to take charge of this issue? This heat would be the perfect time for her to get a short hair cut! Maybe that might also persuade him. Good luck!

If you decide to be the dictator parent and don't take his feelings into consideration, be prepared for him to do the same. Maybe try to compromise.

My daughter had her hair cut short when she was five, her choice. It was really short and everyone thought she was a boy. It broke my heart, but kept my mouth shut. After a year of thinking it was no big deal, she decided to grow it out. Her hair is extremely fine and curly. Not a great combo for a little girl learning how to wash and brush it on her own. Now, she wants it in her face as much as possible, won't wear a ponytail or put it in a clip or anything. She is a tomboy through and through, but with shoulder length plus hair. This summer , now that she's almost 10, she told me that she's thinking about cutting it short again because she says it sticks to her neck and bothers her when she's playing soccer. Every girl on her team had long hair in a ponytail.

A big part of me wishes she'd just do what the other girls do and put it in a ponytail but I'm also SO PROUD of her that she can think for herself and our family supports her in whatever she thinks is the right thing for her. Kids do have to develop their own self-image and identity and believe me, by 5 they are already well on their way. (I think many girls by 2-3 are already thinking, I'll wear this and I won't wear that.)

If the dad is willing to listen you could share all these posts with him and see if he understands better. It doesn't sound like he wants her to suffer or do anything dangerous. But he needs to grow up and support rather than control his daughter. The important trust and communication building goes on now so that when she's 13 deep down she knows who will be there for her and not just out for their own self interests. I understand the gals who suggested that you and the step mom take her for her haircut, but I wouldn't just count him out completely (unless he's really not ready to let go of his own fantasy.) Find some way for him to affirm to his daughter that he will support her as long as her choices are not too foolish or dangerous. Good luck and enjoy! The years pass too quickly! Melissa

Wow, your husband sure knows how to pick his battles! Any three year old will tell you that a five year old who has never been able to choose her hairstyle is being emotionally abused.

How do you limit the one choice that a child CAN make that doesn't have long term consequences ("no - you cannot cut off your arm dear..."). Your husband is being a bozo.

Take her yourself to the hair salon and get her a beautiful, short hair cut. Then let HIM have all of his feelings instead of making your daughter have to be the one who stuffs her feelings daily.

The sad part about this is that once she cuts her hair now, she will most likely never grow it out again. Won't he be glad? WHAT a bozo!

My daughter is almost 7 and has had a invertedbob haircut most of her life. Chin length and it's ADORBALE! We've tried to grow it out once as she wanted long hair and hated it, hated the snarles, the putting it up everyday etc.

If your daughter wants short hair, cut it! It's her hair she obviously knows what she wants.

Being that I'm the mom and have a daughter I generally make most or all of the decisions when it comes to my daughter's hair, clothing, etc. I definately take into consideration what my daughter wants. As far as my daughter's dad when he was in her life I didn't let him get much say as he wasn't dealing with it on a day to day basis like I was.

Go cut her hair and tell dad it isn't 1950 anymore girls don't have to have long hair, wear dresses etc.

Dad will get over it. I got my daughters hair cut in a short stacked bob when she was 2 and she and I LOVED it. Dad was not happy,...but it's not his hair and he doesn't have to comb it or wash it, so he really has no say in the matter. I don't know what it is when dads and their little girls hair, but it's silly that they hold such emotional attachment to something that is not even theirs.

Cut it and let him pout...he'll still love his little girl and he'll get over it.

J.,

First of all, how much time does she spend with her dad? Is it equally half and half or is primary physical placement with you? I had a similar issue with my daughter's dad. I however have primary physical placement while he gets visitation. I had a therapist say to me, "Your the one who deals with it 24/7, if your daughter expresses she wants shorter hair, then get it cut. Dad will have to deal with what she wants, not what he wants." My daughter was 2 years old at the time. Now every year, usually at the start of summer we cut it to about shoulder length, long enough to still do half ponytails and headbands, but short enough that it is easier for her to brush and take care of. That has been my strong point when her dad complains when we cut it. It is easier for her to brush it and style it on her own. Good luck!

I also have a 5 year old daughter and we have been letting her pick her hair style since she was around 4. She does an great job at it. She always wants it short (a bob under her ears) in the summer and then lets it grow out a little for winter.

We had this same "battle" in our house and we came to an agreement that it would be cut to her shoulders. She was happy it was "shorter" and Dad was happy because it was still a bit "long".

Good Luck...

Sue

I would say, talk about it with your husband. Ask him why he feels so strongly and expess your point of view. Let him know that you value his opinion, you're just not sure you agree. Have an open, honest, no arguing discussion about why you each feel the way you do. Then, I think you may be able to come to an agreement (whose ever side you choose).

I can't imagine my husband caring what length our daughters hair is. That seems really controlling. When I was a kid my best friend's dad wouldn't let her cut her hair, and by the 4th grade it was really long and frizzy and she was miserable. But as long as daddy is happy, right? Her dad had a lot of other parenting issues though, I'm sure her therapist knows all about them ;)

I would discuss it with her dad and set a date (not too far into the future but enough for him to get used to the idea), and then take her out to get her hair cut and make a fun day of it.

And maybe remind her that daddy will think she is pretty no matter what length her hair is, or even if she didn't have any at all! Or better yet, tell HIM to remind her of that!

My daughter was 5 when she came to me and said she wanted her bangs cut so they would quit getting in her face. I asked my mom to trim them after thanks-giving dinner. She forgot and the next day my mother-in-law was watching her and my 6 month old when she got ahold of a pair of scissors and trimmed them herself. They were so short that the only way they could be fixed was trimming them all the way to her scalp. She ended up with a mullet. I would suggest giving her bangs first and see what the ex says. Then maybe too your daughter will be happy.