5 Year Old Purposly Having 'Accidents'?!

Look up endocopresis(sp?). We were having the same issues and no matter the punishment it didnt stop so we took him to the dr. This is something very common for boys. I can sympathize with you-its soooo frustrating!! It gets better but takes a long while. It might sound strange but have him wear panty liners. It will save you soooo much grief.
I should also add that the dr put him on a daily dose of mirolax and we watch what he eats. Fiber helps.

I mean no offense to anyone, but I would not put him in pull ups.
He's 5 and if he can give you a reason such as he's having fun and doesn't want to bother, he knows what he's doing.
He's not an infant who can't clean himself. If he likes pooping his pants, I wouldn't make a fuss. I wouldn't show anger or upset. I would just let him have poopy pants. However, he can't sit on the couch or furniture. He can wear his poop like a badge if he wants to, but he can't get it on anything else.
It's not as mean as it sounds. If you've tried everything else, ruling out anything medical, just try ignoring it.
I could be wrong, but to me, it sounds like a power struggle. And yes...plenty of kids have accidents because they don't want to stop playing just to go to the bathroom to take care of business. He's already told you that.
If you bring up the pooping in kindergarten, he may be in a subconscious way trying to tell you that if he poops his pants, he won't have to go.
He won't poop his pants in kindergarten for long just because he doesn't want to stop playing.
If he has a pattern as to what time of day he does this, put him on the toilet.
Punishing and endless talks aren't working so try a different tactic.
Maybe just try shrugging your shoulders and saying it's his poop, his pants, his business if he likes it, but no one else needs to smell it. He can wear it all day if he wants. In his room. He can clean himself up when he's ready. Or not.
But no one else needs to smell him.
Definitely take the school thing out of it so you know it's not tied in with that.
Like I said, he won't poop his pants in school for long when he sees that other kids don't.
For now, let him throw stinky caution to the wind. And keep it to himself.

No offense intended and just a suggestion.

We dealt with endocopesis last year (age 5 into age 6) with my son. He wouldn't have a full bowel movement in his pants just a bit of a leak or a small pellet.

He would always run to me and was so embarrassed about it.

He had several factors, first he would not go poop at school, so he was holding it in...then the urge to go would pass and next time if he was at school he would hold it again. I ended up at the doctors office about two weeks into this happening, and she felt 12 to 14 inches of poop backed up impacted in his bowels. So we had to clean him out...Miralax. Then we added fiber to his diet...double fiber bread and benefiber three times a day.

Once he was cleaned out the accidents stopped, and as long as I give him fiber three times a day, he has nice regular bowel movements. We also worked on timing them so he goes as soon as he gets home from school everyday.

Good luck!! I would make sure his bowels aren't compacted that allows leakage and they have no control over that.

sounds like a power struggle.. you are giving this issue a lot of attention.. he poops.. mom gets really excited and kid gets lots of attention..

I would downplay the accidents.. clean up no comment..

I bet he will not do this in school as the attention he gets will be being sent to the office and mom will be called. that is not good attention.

It could be blockage (which can make poop back up and ultimately find its way around whatever is causing the blockage -- without the patients being able to control it). I find it hard to believe that you son, who was potty trained at 3, is having accidents to get even with you. I would bet that there is some physiological explanation, and that he is unable to control himself, not that he is simply lazy or vindictive. I think punishing him for something that he clearly doesn't want to be doing -- is cruel. I would see another doc

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Children usually do that to get even. What is really going on at your house that is so difficult for him? How has he been hurt or oppressed? If these questions aren't relevant have him tested for worms or parasites. Your doctor should have done that right away. Parasites can make a child defecate suddenly and unwillingly.
Don't make this whole thing shame and blame. Get to the source of his problem.

I hate to suggest this- but is there anyone in his life who could be molesting him, or abusing him?

I've not really heard of too many 5yo who just start pooping because they don't want to stop playing. Most kids will hold their bowel to the point of impact if that's the case.

Either way, if the aforementioned concern is not relevant, perhaps you should just keep him in diapers.till the behavior resolves. Make him change his own diaper/pull up, though. I doubt he'll do it in school. If he does, perhaps you'll need to seek the advise of a developmental child psychologist?

Best wishes-

My first thought in reading your post is that you should take him to the doctor. Like the other poster he could have a blockage someplace. Also, making potty training such a negative for him won't help you. And children go back and forth in being potty trained. My youngest would be completely potty trained and then have accidents and we would do over. Kids can have accidents until they are five or so. I would just try to put him on a schedule, watch what he eats and time it that way. But I would seriously consider going to the doctor.

We had the same issue with our son. He would rather sit in poopy underwear and keep doing whatever activity then take a 5 minute break to go to the bathroom. So we started taking potty breaks. We'd all stop whatever we were doing and stand in a line at the bathroom until EVERYONE had gone (even me and daddy!)

We still had some issues, but we realized that was because he wasn't getting enough fiber and didn't realize he was going. (He was impacted so we had to give him laxatives, then bump up his fiber.) To this day (he's 13), we have to make sure he eats more fiber than any of the other kids to ensure he doesn't have issues.

If taking potty breaks as a family doesn't work, maybe try to up his fiber and see how that works for him.

HTH!

For him to be having accidents because he's having fun and doesn't want to stop playing when he'd been trained 3 years already seems unlikely, so I agree, his "accidents" more than likely aren't :-/ You have to outsmart him, mom, call his bluff.

Is there a pattern when he's having these, say the same times of day? If so I would have him stop all activities about 15-20 minutes prior and have him go sit and poop.

I saw a "potty watch' on Amazon the other day for $10, it resets itself again and again, (make it more often than every 2 hours,) uses music and lights and alerts him to go to potty and poop. And if he thinks he's missing out on playing by stopping and going now, the having to go many more times should help him make his choice, go once on his own or many times when he doesn't want to.
http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Time-Watch-Blue/dp/B001AH8JNC

i would get rid of the pull-ups, he knows they hold the poop in, and have him wear regular undies. I don't believe he'd like cleaning those, then cleaning himself in the shower or tub, and having to put the dirtied undies in the laundry, because it will make him miss soooooooo much time playing. And if you have a washer and dryer hide his clean underwear, tell him he has to wait by the washer while you do his dirty laundry and, no, he can't play with no bottoms on, he has to wait ; ) Not punishments, but natural and logical consequences to his behavior, or lack thereof.

You really don't want to have the kid who pooped in his pants at school. The other kids will know, will remind him of it, and he won't like being reminded of it by them. My neighbor's son did it the first two weeks of school and mom and dad were told he needed to see a therapist. He was considered too immature and told to come back the 2nd half of the school year IF he was trained.

Your son isn't a baby, I know you know that, I can feel your frustration. Sit him down and explain that 1) he can't do this at school so he can't do it at home, 2) he'll be earning back his Wii and games and other toys and privileges one by one, say X amount of days with no "accidents" he gets the Wii, another X amount of days he gets a game and so on, and 3) the responsibility is on him.

Again, not punishment but consequences for his actions. Hold off on rewards until he's gone a week or so not having "accidents" and do something really special ~ and hang in there!!

My daughter had the same problem. Her doctor put her on laxative, that way it is easier for her. The laxative seem to work but the probelms started again. She told me to cut the sugar drinks out(soft drinks,kool-aid,tea,etc) Give her recommond juice and so on. She told me the sugar drinks wasn't helping her where it made her not feel when she had to do number 2 b/c it was leaking around something and that she couldn't feel when she had to go,which was why she had the accidents for. Sorry its kinda hard to explain.She's doing alot better now. I cut most of the sugar drinks out and notice she's been doing good at it. Try that and see. It wouldn't hurt. Hope that helps!!

I agree with Lisa. Plus he may feel way too much pressure.The punishments are only going to fuel the fire, they don't work with these things... or rarely do.I would put him in pull ups for a couple days and totally ignore it just to calm down and let him calm down then casually start it up again... it definitely can be done in a few weeks.
Get him a wrist band to remind him or set a beeper timer to remind him to use the potty. Don't make him go to the potty but the noise may distract him from the fun so he remembers to go #2 in the potty. Does he go at certain times? My daughter only goes at about 7-8pm.