5 Year Old Wont SLEEEEP! Mom Going Crazy!

Sounds like a power struggle. Your son has figured out that if he makes a fuss you will be more worried about daddy getting enough sleep then you are about him getting enough sleep, or obeying you. Honestly, hubby will just have to get over it. It is time for your son to learn that bedtime is bedtime and no amount of crying and screaming will get him out of it. He needs his sleep, and he needs to learn to obey you. Maybe if daddy gets his sleep interrupted for a few night, he will help get your son to obey.
Tomorrow sit down with your son and explain that there will be no more bedtime or middle of the night nonsense. You expect him to go to bed and stay there until morning. If he doesn't sleep fine, but getting out of bed is not an option. Tell him that everytime he gets out of bed, he will have to spend 10 minutes the next day sitting on his bed with no toys, books, music, nothing. Two times out of bed = 20 minutes, and so on.
If he gets up, just calmly remind him he just earned himself 10 mins in his bed the next day and return him to his room. No yelling, no discussion, just state the deal and leave. If he cries and screams, too bad. Calmly say 'you need to settle down by three or you have no (tv, park, legos, whatever) tomorrow. 1, 2, 3.' No 2 and a half. No slow counting.
It will take a few nights, or maybe even a whole week, but be consistent and stick to it. Hubby will just have to deal with the re-training time. Your son will soon figure out that he's lost this one!

Be brave! Also, give yourself a break around the house and designate at least an hour to hanging out with your son outside. Let him play with the other kids and you can read a book while you keep an eye on him. Dust and dishes can wait. :)

For tonight, do nothing until you can calm down. Then put him to bed. If his room is safe, shut the door and leave him there. If he won't stay in his room, I would try laying down with him or even putting him down on a mat in your bedroom.

THis too, will pass. I sympathize with you!

And.....if you're a SAHM, take the day off tomorrow and rest up. Do the bare necessities. Treat yourself. And, take him for a walk to the park. Wear him out.

What incentive does he have for going to sleep when someone stays up with him? I suggest you put him in bed. You can not make him sleep but you can keep putting him back in his bed, over and over if you have to. Don't talk with him. Don't pay any attention; just keep putting him back to bed. It will take a few nights of consistent putting him back to bed but he will learn. I suggest that as long as he stays in his room he doesn't have to stay in bed. Eventually, when being up doesn't get him attention, he will get bored and fall asleep. He'll learn that bedtime is sleep time.

Whoops, Do you mean that hubby went to bed and left son out of bed? If so that's the right idea. You do not have to stay up with him. I do suggest that you want to train him to at least stay in his room using the method I described above.

What time do you put him to bed? What time does the day start for you. Do you have a 30 minute wind down time before bed?

Outside is not the only place he can exercise tho that's easiest. Have him run up and down the hallway, for example, but not near bedtime. Jumping jacks wear little ones out. Get a small indoor exercise trampoline, found in sporting goods or sporting good departments of stores.

It seems worthwhile to me to take him outside for 30 minutes or so and have him run around. Take this time for you to relax and enjoy nature.

Has he always done this and not been able to soothe himself back to sleep? If so, I suggest that not sleeping/staying in bed could have become a power struggle. If he's always had difficulty staying asleep, have you tried a night light, a radio, CD player that he can turn on to listen to soothing music?

I haven't read any of the sleep training books but they might give you some ideas, too.

If you are already doing all of the following then see my info about melatonin:

1) set bedtime...keep it exactly the same every night
2) no sugary drinks or foods for at least an hour before bedtime
3) no caffeine
4) no TV or video games for at least an hour before bedtime (keep all media sources out of bedroom)
5) plenty of run around outside activity during the day but nothing wild right before bed (I know you said this is hard but plan a family activity outside every day...it is good for your sleep quality and health also)
6) Bedtime routine , do everything in the same order every night (could include reading time together, giving him a back rub to relax him, singing, or other quiet activity where he has you to himself for a bit)

When 1-6 have been tried for 2 weeks and he still has trouble sleeping, then try:
Melatonin...You can buy tablets at any pharmacy. It is the natural substance our brains produce in order to sleep. It is wonderful for kids (and adults) with sleep issues. Kids only need about 1/3 to 1/2 of a tablet. Give it about 30 minutes before you want him to be quieting down. We give it to our son about 3 nights a week. It has made a huge difference!

You know my daughter was unable to take naps even when she was very young. If she took naps she'd be up to midnight. I always said I could run a city with her energy. Well we found a nice way was to have a set schedule of bath, book and bed. We put a nice Disney movie on that she watched and then would fall asleep. We also gave up on a 8p bed time because she was just not ready. We would put her in at 830 -845 with a nice movie. She would fall asleep nicely with the movie on. Also had to make sure we had very heavy blinds because as soon as the sun was up she was up regardless of what time it was.

My son went through something similar, although I don't think his phase was nearly as bad. We just had to train him that he could stay up if he wanted, but he had to stay in bed, so the rest of the house could sleep.

One thing I have noticed about my children. When they are over tired, they are MUCH harder to put into bed. For my kids, I would move bedtime up. We invested in blackout shades. The late summer days always mess with my kids sleep. The shades were $20 well spent for us. Cut out tv before bedtime. It may be stimulating for him. The house hold chores can wait. Get that kid outside! Not only to wear him out, but studies have shown that sunlight helps sleep. Moderate exposure to sunlight helps produce more Melatonin. (a smart mama on here told me that once and I found info online to support it

We started out with something similar to what Jen suggested, but I needed to make the punishment more immediate. At barely four years old, my son didn't seemed concerned with getting a time out in the morning. It just didn't connect for him. So I came up with a chart system. I think it was going someplace he hadn't been, but wanted to go see (Chuck E Cheese maybe??? or maybe it was a bounce house place, I really cannot remember). So I made a chart with a spots for two stickers for fourteen days. The chart was also covered in pictures of where it was we were going to go so he had a physical reminder. Any time we were where we could see that chart I talked it up in the beginning. At night before bed he put the stickers on the chart, two each night. If he got up for anything besides going potty a sticker came off. He had to take it off. And be prepared...taking a sticker off was major emotional trauma. There was crying and screaming and begging. But since he cared, I figured it was working. (BTW, there were two stickers because we usually had two times a night that he woke up to play). We made a HUGe deal at first about keeping his stickers. Then slowly we eased up on the praise. We wanted him to know he was doing good, but we also didn't want him to expect treats for staying in bed for the rest of his life. It didn't take too long for him to "get" that he needed to stay in bed. And we did not do any other rewards. After earning his trip, he simply earned a time out in the morning if he tried to get up at night to play. And whatever toy we caught him with was put in time out for a week. I can only remember doing this twice (after we completed the sticker chart) before he learned that we were completely serious and not going to put up with it. Just be consistent and be firm and don't let his screaming tactics keep you from punishment. GL Mama!

Tell your husband what is going on, and that you are going to to something about it - tell him the plan and tell him he either helps implement the back to sleep plan, or he will need to take turns with you getting up with the kid all night long. Yes, he may be GOING to work, and you may be at home all day, but that DOESN'T meant you need LESS sleep - you are taking care of kids and driving and such, and that is dangerous to do no matter what/where your "job" is, and lack of sleep/interrupted sleep is bad for your health and your 5 year old's health, too.

I would highly reccommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. The sectoin on ages 3-6 years Starting on page 338 "Preventing and Solving Sleep Problems, and Action Plan for Exhausted Parents, are the parts you will need to read....and MAYBE pg. 393 about Hyperactive Behavior if you think you need it.

For 4 year olds and up, he Suggests making a Sleep Schedule and post it in the bedroom (says regularity helps, but a time "range" might be good becasue not all days are exactly the same):
Bath Time,
Start time for Bedtime routine
Lights Out ( time to actually close your eyes and go to sleep)

Also, a poster of sleep rules, with a small reward given for following all sleep rules. It sayd to make a big poster with stars and photos or illustrations of the child following each rule, and use the Child's name at the beginning of each rule. Recite them and point them out each time you do bedtime routine. Follow Rules, get a prize or treat of sometype, don't follow rules, no treat. Either the treat itself or a token to exchange for a treat later in the day are to be given immediately upon waking, when the rules are followed. When the rules are broken, use the silent returen to sleep strategy....like Supernanny does.

Good Luck.

Jessie

At bedtime we:
1. Stay in bed
2. Close our eyes
3. Stay very quiet
4. Go to sleep
5. Do not leave your room until you hear the alarm or music set by mom and dad (except to go potty - and if so you get right back in bed).

You poor thing!

Does your son eat foods with sugar or drink soda or other sugary or caffeinated drinks in the afternoon and/or night? If so I would cut those out of his diet now. What about TV shows or cartoons with lots of action? Sounds as if something is hyping him up. What about his nightly routine? He needs to wind down so at the same time each night he should have a warm bath, maybe a story, hugs, then lights out and in the bed. No roughhousing, TV, or running around.

As far as fussing at bedtime and not staying in bed, try talking to him during the day and saying something like, "At night when it's time to go to bed there's no more fussing. You go to bed, you stay in bed. You don't need to stay asleep, but you are not to get up once you've gone to bed. If you need to go to the bathroom that's OK, then it's straight back to bed, no walking around the house. Once you're in bed there's no getting up, making noise, coming out of your room, running through the house...you are to stay in bed." To reinforce this behavior choose a consequence for him if he fusses at bedtime or does get up, like losing TV the next day, a toy he likes to play with, a privilege of some sort, something that is important to him.

Then you have to follow through. If he gets up you or your husband need to go get him, walk him to his room, no talking (you want him to know this is serious) put him in bed and close the door. If he gets up you do this again (and again) just as if he were 3. If you are consistent, follow through with the consequence the next day, he should soon get the message.

I hope you get sleep soon : )

I hope you have good coffee in the morning ;)

How much sleep does he get each day? At his age he should be getting 9 - 10 hours. If it is less than that, does he seem to be functioning fine? It could be that he is ADHD - hyperactivity that is keeping him awake. Many kids with ADHD are diagnosed around the age of 5 or 6. I'm not saying that he does have ADHD, but it is something to consider. My son had a lot of sleeping problems and that is what it turned out to be...he is seven and still gets up at 5:30, no matter what time he goes to bed.
Good luck!

I agree with alot of what was said on here. Except putting a gate hook. Sorry... I can only think of a hazard.. "if" it was forgotten to be unhooked or something and there were a fire. It would make it impossible to someone to get to him not knowing it was there etc.
What we have done to keep kidlings in there room.. Use a baby gate (taller if needed) on the outside of the door. You wouldn't even need a baby gate. We use this for the toddlers. Close the door but put a wash cloth over the corner of the door so when you close it it makes the door to tough to open. (if that makes sense) Makes a tougher seal if you will. Adults can open it but kids normally can't.

Jen is right. This isn't about being overtired or having sugary drinks (not that those situations can't play a role). This is about power and control. Everyone wakes up at night, but we are supposed to learn to calm ourselves down and fall back asleep. Your child knows that you will take care of Dad's sleep by getting up with him. The thing to do is to let him know this isn't going to happen anymore. And you have to mean it. He needs to stay in his room - put a childproof doorknob cover on the doorknob, or put a gate-hook on the outside to keep him inside if you have to. You can't make him sleep, but you can prevent him from waking everyone else up. Night time is quiet time, period. You can't control him, but you can control your own reaction. Don't get up with him, don't respond, and tell him ahead of time that this will happen. Have a regular bedtime routine - whatever it is - like bath, brush teeth, have a story, sing a quiet song. Then it's bed time - no drinks of water, no getting up, no turning on the lights, no negotiating, no screaming. His screaming will stop when it doesn't work anymore to get your attention.

You need your sleep. You are walking around - and probably driving the car - totally sleep deprived. It's unhealthy, and it's dangerous.

Let him run around outside. Skip the housework now and then, or cut back! Do some gardening or read a book, or play with him. He needs your attention during the day so he doesn't need it at night. And your husband needs to get on board with this. Why does he get to sleep while you do all the work and suffer?