J.S.
Sounds like a power struggle. Your son has figured out that if he makes a fuss you will be more worried about daddy getting enough sleep then you are about him getting enough sleep, or obeying you. Honestly, hubby will just have to get over it. It is time for your son to learn that bedtime is bedtime and no amount of crying and screaming will get him out of it. He needs his sleep, and he needs to learn to obey you. Maybe if daddy gets his sleep interrupted for a few night, he will help get your son to obey.
Tomorrow sit down with your son and explain that there will be no more bedtime or middle of the night nonsense. You expect him to go to bed and stay there until morning. If he doesn't sleep fine, but getting out of bed is not an option. Tell him that everytime he gets out of bed, he will have to spend 10 minutes the next day sitting on his bed with no toys, books, music, nothing. Two times out of bed = 20 minutes, and so on.
If he gets up, just calmly remind him he just earned himself 10 mins in his bed the next day and return him to his room. No yelling, no discussion, just state the deal and leave. If he cries and screams, too bad. Calmly say 'you need to settle down by three or you have no (tv, park, legos, whatever) tomorrow. 1, 2, 3.' No 2 and a half. No slow counting.
It will take a few nights, or maybe even a whole week, but be consistent and stick to it. Hubby will just have to deal with the re-training time. Your son will soon figure out that he's lost this one!
Be brave! Also, give yourself a break around the house and designate at least an hour to hanging out with your son outside. Let him play with the other kids and you can read a book while you keep an eye on him. Dust and dishes can wait. :)